After only a couple of bites of my sandwich, my comfort level was beginning to dissipate again, giving way to an eerily familiar feeling. It was stronger than ever now. Taking Veronica’s advice, I tried ignoring it, but it was just too strong for me to ignore this time. Without lifting my head, I slowly looked up from my table to scan the diner for its source. There were people all over as the place was starting to fill to almost near capacity now that the rest of the lunch crowd was filtering in. Across tables filled with business men in suits, my eyes searched. Like me, most of them were on their lunch hours and probably didn’t have the time to put into stalking at the moment.
Intermingled with the business-types were a couple of lone families who’d bravely ventured out of their homes, testing their fates for a slice of one of the diner’s famed pizzas. I scanned around some more… nothing… nothing… then… bingo. He was sitting alone in a booth on the other side of the diner. His very stare pierced my face like a blade. I could feel my skin getting hot as though his eyes were emitting heat. The man wore black. Black slacks and a black button down shirt. His hair, slicked back, was also dark in color; his eyes were a deep chocolate, even deeper than my own. I guesstimated his age to be somewhere around thirty, perhaps thirty-five. As creepy as his staring was to me, I had to admit that he was ruggedly handsome. Yet his look reflected one who was extremely troubled, too. The staring was blatantly obvious. He didn’t try to hide it and, even though I wasn’t looking directly at him, I could tell he knew that I was on to him. Should I look up and acknowledge him? Should I just leave? I wouldn’t get the chance to explore the answers to these questions as, at that moment, he was walking to my booth.
“May I have a seat?” he asked more politely than I would have expected.
“Actually, I was just leaving,” I replied, standing up. “It’s all yours.” The look on his face turned to one of shock. Obviously, he’d never had a woman be anything but complicit to his requests before.
“Wait, I’d like to speak with you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m in a relationship.” I grabbed my tray from the table.
“I didn’t come over to ask you out on a date. Actually, I wanted to speak with you about a business proposition.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not for sale, either.” I was beginning to get annoyed and was close to breaking out the mace that was tucked away in my purse for just such encounters as this. He laughed. I’d apparently made his day.
“No, not that kind of business proposition,” he chuckled.
“Fine, I’ll humor you if you answer one simple question for me.” I set my tray back down on the table, trying to sound threatening but, from the looks of this guy, he didn’t threaten easily.
“My name is Blake Cohen.”
“That’s not what my question was going to be.” We were both sitting down, staring at each other from across the table.
“All right then, what is this mysterious question?” His smugness was quite upsetting.
“Why have you been following me?” The smile completely vanished from his face, revealing that I’d taken him completely off guard. I clutched my purse tighter, prepared to use it as a blunt object if necessary.
“So, you knew that I was following you?” he asked. “Maybe they haven’t made a mistake after all. Your instincts are quite impressive.” He paused for a moment before speaking again. “The answer to your question is contained within my purpose for being here with you right now.”
“I’m listening.”
“Have you ever had a feeling of utter helplessness? A feeling like you should be able to do something, but you know that you aren’t physically able to do it, nor do you have the means with which to carry it out?” My thoughts returned to the day of the explosion, to my family and to the knowledge that I could do nothing to save them. He studied my expression thoughtfully and continued. “What if there was something you could do? What if you could be given the tools to defeat The Man in Black? What if you had the power to ensure that no one else suffered the same loss as you have?”
Tears clouded my vision, but I couldn’t tell if they were tears of anger or of agony. “That’s impossible.” My mouth made the words, but my ears didn’t hear them.
“But it’s not. I was sent here by my superiors to find you. They’ve been observing you and believe that you hold the potential to do just that. If you come with me, they can provide you with the means along with the abilities you will need to fight and defeat The Man in Black and… replace my partner.”
My eyes shot to his face. “Wait… your… your… partner? But that means that you… that you… wait… what?”
“I’m going to have to ask you to keep your voice down. Our conversation isn’t something that should be broadcasted. Put two and two together, Celaine, and you will get four.” The smug smile returned to his face.
“How do you know my name?”
“Out of this entire conversation, that’s what concerns you the most?”
“Okay, so you’re a superhero whose mission it is to seek and destroy The Man in Black, and you’re asking me if I want to replace your partner who was just recently killed.”
“No, I’m a government agent, not a superhero. Trust me, there’s nothing super about this life.”
“Okay. So how do I know, with any degree of certainty, that you’re not actually just some psychotic nutcase who’s going to lure me away with some wild story, throw me in the back of his trunk, and hold me hostage in his basement while ordering me to ‘rub the lotion on its skin’?”
“You don’t.”
“Well… that’s comforting.”
“Funny, I didn’t take you to be one for dry humor. I have a feeling you and I could get along just fine.”
“Am I just supposed to agree to this and then you whisk me away? I need details, I mean, if I were to agree to this, I would need to give my work notice… my friends, my…”
“I can appreciate your need for the clarification of all the details, but you need to understand that I would only be sticking my neck out even further on the chopping block than I already am now if I were to divulge such information to you. Besides, if you choose to accept this position, you will not be permitted contact with anything or anybody related to your former life.”
“What? You’re telling me that I have to cut off all contact with my friends, my job, and my life? How do you expect anyone to agree to that?”
“Well, obviously, there were at least two of us who felt such a sacrifice was warranted for the sake of the greater good.”
“I’m not saying it’s not admirable. I’m saying it’s not something I can very well agree to right at this moment.”
“I’m not asking you to accept anything this second. This offer is extended for another seventy-two hours.”
“So basically, I have but a mere three days to make the decision to end my life as I know it so that I can move on to a new one cloaked in uncertainty?”
“Basically, but let me ask you this, Celaine… If it were ten years ago, would you be so hesitant?”
In my mind, the scene of the decimated parking ramp and the images of the crushed SUV containing life as I knew it unfolded. “How did you know about that?” I asked in a whisper.
“Again, that surprises you? This is really getting quite old. Look, just think about your feelings that day and the feelings each time you wake up in a cold sweat night after night because the nightmares just won’t end. I’m sure you made a promise to your family, just as I did to my loved ones.”
“You lost someone, too?”
“Why else do you think I’m sitting here today? This isn’t a life for the faint of heart. It’s lonely, tiring, aggravating and every other negative adjective you can possibly think of, but I’m doing it for them. In my mind, that makes it worth it. I‘m sure in the last several years you‘ve accumulated other people in your life worth protecting as well as the ones you‘ve lost.”
I glanced up at the clock on the wall. My l
unch was supposed to have ended ten minutes ago. “I… I need time, and I have to get back to work. Do you have a card or a number or something?”
He laughed. “Do you honestly think my line of work would allow me to carry contact information of any kind? Seventy-two hours. Meet me on the roof of your apartment building. You can give me your answer then. In the meantime, make no mention of our encounter to anyone.”
I nodded, standing up to make a hasty retreat.
“It was nice meeting you, Ms. Stevens,” he called out to me as I opened the door.
I nodded again as I stepped out of the diner and onto the sidewalk.
****
Blake Cohen pulled out his cell phone. “Contact has been established,” he reported.
“What‘s your impression?”
“I think she’s going for it.”
“Good. Are you clear on what to do if she doesn’t?”
“Is there no other way?”
“Blake, you’re not backing out on your mission, are you?”
“This one seems different from the others. I don’t think she’ll talk.”
“That’s not a decision for you to make. She already knows too much. If she chooses not to join us, she must be dealt with. Is this clear, Blake?”
“Crystal.”
Blake ended the call and stared out the window at the front of the diner. It had been a long time since he’d been able to appreciate the gift of a nice day. He sighed, stood up and walked out of the building. This was the part of his job he hated the most.
****
The sky could have crashed to the Earth where I sat. The planet could have split in two and I wouldn’t have noticed any different. I was in a haze, drifting through the rest of my day after the weight of the world had been unexpectedly placed upon my shoulders. It was a burden that was verging on becoming too heavy to bear. During meetings, I tried to remain focused and professional, but I knew my clients could tell that my mind couldn’t have been further from their loan applications and refinancing enquiries. My mind was on my life, not theirs.
If I didn’t accept the offer Blake presented to me, would I regret it? I finally had what I’d been dreaming of for the last ten years within my grasp. Finally, I was getting the opportunity to back up every promise I’d made to my family in every speech I’d given to their photographs. I’d been offered the opportunity to face the nightmares that wouldn’t rest. Yet, as unbelievable as it was, I couldn’t help but wonder whether this opportunity was truly a gift or if it would end up being nothing short of a curse.
To give up everything positive that had come into my life these last ten years was nearly inconceivable. Chase’s family had taken me under their wing, allowing me to belong in this world again. What would they think if I were to suddenly remove myself from their lives? My fingers caressed my neck, clasping the familiar golden chain with the heart charm attached. It had been an heirloom in Chase’s family and one of his mother’s most cherished possessions. He’d given it to me on our first anniversary. At the time, I hadn’t realized just what a grand gesture his presenting it to me had been. After I found out, I’d sobbed like a baby.
Chase. It killed me to think that I would be responsible for a decision that could have such a profound effect on him. If I chose to leave, would he understand or would he hate me? Never had I felt like I deserved someone as kind, intelligent and devoted as him. In some ways, I felt as though he’d been a gift from my parents; he was sent by them to look out for me.
As hard as I tried, it was all too much to take in right now. Glancing at my planner, I checked my schedule to confirm that I had no further appointments. Given the circumstances, I then decided it would be best for me to go home “sick” for the rest of the day. Leaving a message with the Human Resource Department, I packed up my things and changed my voicemail message before walking out the door. On my way out, Veronica came up from behind me, visibly concerned.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Just a bad case of food poisoning, I think.”
“That figures. All the good food usually screws you over in the end. Do you want me to walk you home? You look like you’re about ready to pass out.”
“No… no. I’m fine. Thanks, Veronica, but I think I can make it from here.”
“All right.” She looked at me with disbelief in her eyes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Not if you’re contagious, you won’t. I have a date this weekend, so if you think it’s something more than just food poisoning, you’d better keep that keister of yours in bed.”
“Understood.”
She smiled at me, disappearing back into the building. And I was almost to the sidewalk when I heard Veronica shout, “Mind your own business, Weiner!”
I would miss her.
Chapter Nine
The Choice
I lay in bed staring at the cracks in the ceiling, following their journey until it abruptly ended where the ceiling met the wall. Everything seemed surreal to me to the point where I wasn’t entirely certain that what had transpired today had actually happened. There had to be some sort of catch to all of this. Had they ever seen me run or throw a punch? Those acts alone were more of a comedy routine than an action sequence when I performed them. What did they think I could possibly offer them?
Why was I so hesitant to run after vindication when it was practically being handed to me? After all, if Chase wasn’t in my life, would I even need to contemplate Blake’s offer? I knew the answer to that question was a resounding “no”. There was no doubt in my mind that I would have accepted the new life I’d been offered on the spot had it not been for Chase.
My body was like dead weight as I rolled over to check my clock. Two hours had gone by since I’d arrived home. Chase would still be at work, but he would soon call, sense the confusion in my voice and invariably ask me whether I was all right. That was a question even I couldn’t answer right now.
My fingers drifted to the knob of my nightstand drawer, reaching for the photo album I kept locked away inside. I hated looking at it, knowing that if I did, my mind would be made up, but I did it anyway. Their lifeless images stared up at me almost as though they were pleading with me. They were begging me to bring them justice. Would they forgive me if I chose to ignore the one chance I may have to deliver it? Better yet, would I ever be able to forgive myself? Trying to answer the questions flashing through my head was pointless; for I knew that, in order to answer them, I must first make a choice.
If ever I needed advice, it was now. Lucy. I needed to talk to Lucy. She was always the dispenser of common sense, advising people on the solutions to their problems. It was her job, after all. Forcing myself up from my bed, I retrieved my purse, rummaging through its contents until I located my cell phone. Old Faithful Lucy picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, pretty lady, I was just thinking about you,” she answered.
“Must be our ESPN,” I giggled as convincingly as possible.
“Yeah, I always suspected we were twins separated at birth. So, what’s going on?”
“Well, I was hoping you could give me some advice.”
“Sure. You’re on the clock. That’ll be one hundred twenty-five dollars for the first
hour.”
“Bill me.”
“Well, I usually take the cash up front, but for you I’m willing to look the other way. What is this all-important advice you seek? Does it involve a certain male friend of ours?”
“Amazingly, no.”
“Whoa. You mean to tell me you have a life outside of him? Hold on a second, let me sit down for this.”
“When did you become such a smart ass?”
“What do you think keeps me from jumping out of the window each day after never-ending day of listening to people piss and moan about their lives?”
“Touché.”
“So, what can I do you for?”
“Let’s just say, theoretically, you have two choices. Tw
o doors if you will…”
“Oh, oh, like that one show where all the people dress up in silly costumes for a chance to choose blindly between different doors, giving up what they have for something that may or may not be better.”
“Stick with me here, Luce. Wait…you mean Let’s Make A Deal?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“As much as I hate to admit that my life has been reduced to a pathetic game show analogy, that’s actually not a bad comparison to what I’m theoretically up against right now.”
“That’s why I make the big bucks, sugar.”
“Okay,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Imagine you have these two doors. One door leads you to the status quo; a good, some may say even perfect, life where you’re happy, quietly successful and the future looks promising. It may even get a tad better for you but, basically, nothing really changes. The second door leads to a path filled with twists, turns and uncertainties that may or may not lead to a dead end. If by chance it doesn’t lead to one, it will ultimately take you to the single greatest moment of your life and the fulfillment of every promise you’ve ever made to yourself and those you care about. Faced with this scenario, which one would you choose?”
“Can I take a rain check?”
“Not if you value your life.”
“This must be important to you if you’re resorting to death threats.”
“You have no idea.”
“Let’s analyze this for a minute because that’s what I do and all. What you’re basically looking at is a question of how bold you are and what you’re willing to gamble. You, Celaine, have always been a play-it-safe kind of girl. Playing it safe hasn’t made you rich, but it’s profited you enough to where you’re able to stay in the game. It’s made you content, if you will. Now, there’s an opportunity presenting itself that may give you the chance for a windfall. But, in order to win, you have to bet and, in this case, they’re asking you to go all in. If you win, immense wealth will surely be yours. But if you lose, then what? If your life is only a smidgeon less enjoyable than it is now, would it have been worth it? If the answer to that question is “yes”, then by all means put your chips in. Are you going to lose yourself in the process? Are you going to lose something that can’t be replaced? If the answer to those questions is also “yes”, then you may want to think about cashing in and going home. But, to give you my own personal point of view, contentment gets you nowhere.”
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