“You look absolutely stunning tonight,” Chase awed with a noticeable quiver in his voice.
“Chase, you’re shaking, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“No, I’m fine. Amazing, really.”
“But, you’re shaking…you’re…you’re…not Chase. What’s going on?”
“Celaine, I’m the best I’ve ever been. Everything is perfect. More perfect than I ever thought it would be for me.”
“Okay.” I picked up the menu, searching for something that would be gentle on my weakened stomach.
There was something not quite right with Chase. I had never seen him like this before. He was so…nervous. What was there to be nervous about? His face was flushed, and he stared at me as though he saw me for the first time. He was so intense that it was making me nervous. Finally, after some hesitation, he broke the silence. “I was going to wait until after dinner for this, but looking at you, it’s kind of hard to keep quiet any longer.”
“Huh?” I looked up from my menu, puzzled.
“Celaine, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Aesthetically, mentally and emotionally. From the moment I first saw you, my soul has ached to be by your side. I can’t imagine anyone more perfect for me than you. You are truly my better half, and I can’t picture my life without you.” Looking into my eyes, he paused, resuming again with a slight tremble in his voice. “I don’t think there is life without you. Before I met you, I was a hollow shell of a man stumbling around in the dark, barely able to make it from point A to point B. When you came into my life, you brought the light to help me see the way to destinations I didn’t know existed. You picked up the pieces and made me whole again.”
Shaking, I could feel my eyes beginning to water. I looked up at Chase with a look I was sure projected the absolute guilt I felt.
“Your eyes…they shimmer like topaz. They’re so beautiful.”
I couldn’t make the tears stop; my eyes were burning, and wiping them with my fingers just wasn’t cutting it. I looked down and saw the Angelo’s trademark napkin folded in the shape of a swan resting on my plate. Chase’s eyes lit up as I reached down to unfold the napkin in order to blot them. There was an audible clunk as something fell from inside the napkin onto the plate. Averting my eyes from the napkin, I gasped when I realized what the source of that sound had been. In the middle of the plate sat the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was an emerald cut, two, maybe three carats, with a prismatic rainbow of colors radiating off it, creating the most amazing sparkle. I was absolutely speechless.
A hand grasped mine, bringing me back down to reality. At my feet knelt Chase, his eyes watering. My heart pounded in my chest with the realization of what was happening. Around us, diners looked up from their tables, their eyes wide with the anticipation of what was surely one of the happiest moments in any normal couple’s relationship.
“Celaine Elizabeth Stevens, you have made me the happiest man in this room thus far. Now, would you please make me the happiest man in the world by doing me the honor of being your husband? Will you marry me?”
Time stopped as I stared blankly at Chase’s anxious face. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. Not only would I be breaking his heart, now I would be humiliating him too. I was sick and I knew I was only going to get sicker when I finally spoke, saying what I’d come here to say. “Chase, I love you. I do. You’re perfect for me…you’re perfect for anyone, really. Believe me when I say that there will never be anyone else who’ll have my heart.”
He looked up at me and smiled his gorgeous smile, the dimple on his chin standing out. His eyes were as blue as sapphires, making me want to dive into their intoxicatingly blue irises to drown. “But,” I began again, “there’s no easy way to say this. I came here to tell you that…that…” I hesitated. Not sure what to say, but knowing I needed to say something to remove myself from his presence as soon as possible, I proceeded. “I’m…I’m going away. I’ve gotten a job across the country. Chase…I can’t marry you. I’m leaving tonight. I don’t know when or if I’ll be coming back. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.”
Behind us, a slew of gasps erupted. I glanced back to see the house band readying themselves to play as soon as I’d accepted Chase’s proposal, staring at me in horror. This had obviously been a first for Angelo’s. My eyes trailed off to the other tables, only to be met with the same shocked and stunned expressions. Then came the most painful of all: Chase’s expression. His brow was furrowed in a look of pain mixed with confusion, coupled with the expectation that I was going to say gotcha, and accept his proposal after all.
I had to leave and fast. My unsteady legs felt like gelatin as I stood up, walked around Chase, and took off in a dead sprint past rows of tables to the front of the restaurant. I burst through the door, narrowly avoiding taking out an Angelo’s employee who’d stepped out for a smoke break.
“Sorry,” I said, choking back tears.
My eyes drifted up to the marquee in front of the restaurant. In big, bold letters that screamed read me was the announcement, Congratulations, Chase and Celaine. He’d gone all out, and my bolting out of the restaurant with little explanation would be all he’d remember. Stopping to catch my breath, I leaned against the building for support, my legs feeling as though they were going to give out from under me. My head scraped against the coarse brick wall. I wished it would swallow me up right then and there, forever burying me, shielding me from the world and the unbearable pain I felt. Next to me, the door flew open as Chase emerged from the restaurant. He looked at me for several seconds, the pain and disbelief still evident on his face.
“After two years, don’t you at least think I deserve an explanation,” he demanded, his face bright red. “You know, like an explanation of what exactly this job is and…oh…I don’t know…when exactly you were going to tell me about it!”
There was no explanation short of the truth that was going to appease him, and even the truth would be a stretch. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to tell you. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I didn’t see any way around it. Chase, this is the last thing I wanted. Had I had even the slightest inclination that you were going to propose to me tonight, I would never have let you take me here in front of all those people.”
“I just do…I just don’t understand. Where is this job, and why can’t I come with you? Why does this have to tear us apart? When did you start even looking for another job and…and why couldn’t you at least have given me some sort of heads up?”
“Chase, I don’t want you to give up your life for me. I’m going to be working for a bank on the other side of the country. It’s an increase in pay and a fresh start. Living here has just brought back too many bad memories of my family, memories that I just can’t live with anymore. I thought I’d be strong enough to handle them, but I was wrong.”
“Celaine, you are my life. There will be other hospitals. Trust me, there’s no shortage of employment for pediatricians out there. I love you. Whatever is going on, whatever it is that makes you feel like you need to run away, we can work it out together.”
I sucked up every last bit of the agony I felt before looking at him to deliver the final blow. “This is something that I’m going to have to go at alone. You can’t be a part of my life anymore. I don’t know that I want you to be a part of my life anymore. My feelings for you have changed, and I see my life going in another direction. I’m sorry. I just hope that there will be a day when you can forgive me.” My eyes met his, witnessing the absolute defeat in them. I’d broken him to the point where I swore I could hear his heart stop beating.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed,” his voice cracked.
I had to leave before I changed my mind and ran back into his arms to beg for forgiveness. But, as I began to turn around, I remembered the necklace. I put my hands around the back of my neck. Realizing what I was about to do, Chase stopped me before I could unclasp the chai
n.
“Please, don’t,” he pleaded in near agony. “Returning that would be like twisting the dagger buried in my heart. Keep it. I can’t imagine there’s a woman more worthy of it than you were out there. Besides, I promised my mother that I wouldn’t give it to just anyone so…keep it.” His eyes were beginning to water, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “Maybe once in a while it will remind you that you are deeply loved, and it will be enough to bring you back home again…back to me.”
It felt as though the world had crashed down around me. I was short of breath, dizzy, with my heart on the verge of stopping. With a broken heart, I looked up at Chase, avoiding direct eye contact. “I will cherish it for the rest of my life,” I barely squeaked out between tears.
He nodded and, for the last time, I wrapped my arms around him to embrace him. He hesitated for a moment, unsure whether or not to reciprocate, but his hesitation didn’t last long. Wrapping his arms around me, he squeezed me tighter than he ever had, knowing that once he let go it would be the end. I broke away from his arms, keeping my eyes focused on the pavement. “Goodbye,” I blurted.
I left him there on the street as though he were nothing but a piece of garbage, as though it weren’t the last time I would ever see him.
My feet flew across the pavement so swiftly that I could barely feel my heels striking its hard surface. When I reached the door of my apartment building, I blew through it, keeping pace through the lobby, drawing inquisitive stares around me. With a loud crash, I barreled through the door of the fire escape and began the long climb up the several flights of stairs to the rooftop. Surprisingly, I scaled the ten floors of my building effortlessly until I reached the top of my ascent where my body buckled and I collapsed to the floor. My legs burned, my lungs struggled to take in air. Through the door, just a few short feet away, life as I knew it would change forever.
****
Angelo’s? What would possess her boyfriend to take her to this yuppie infested, petulant, purple nightmare? Blake Cohen sat in the corner of the restaurant, blending in seamlessly with a bachelor party assembled at a nearby table. This was too easy; one of the easiest assignments he’d ever been given.
Having pretended to stumble while he was on his way to the bathroom, he’d feigned as though he were bracing himself for support against the table where his target’s boyfriend was sitting. Sounding genuinely concerned, the boyfriend had asked him if he were all right. He’d made small talk with him, assuring him that it had just been a lapse in coordination, while secretly placing a microphone underneath the table. Barely the size of a pinhead, it would be virtually undetectable, more than serving its purpose. It would be obvious now, when she showed up, if this night were going to work in his favor or take a decidedly more sinister turn. Removing an ear piece from his pocket, he waited patiently for his target’s arrival.
A moment later, the door opened and in she walked. He did a double take. The dress she was wearing was form fitting, and she had all the right forms to fit it. Her legs were bare, their length accentuated by the stilettos she wore. She was dressed to kill or, if things went wrong, to be killed.
“This is going to be interesting,” he mumbled.
He looked at his watch. They would be expecting a resolution to this mission soon. Just what the resolution would be remained to be seen. The look on her face didn’t exactly scream happy, but the boyfriend was beaming so much he swore the guy was farting sunshine. As she took her seat, the conversation started, and he cupped his hand to his ear to listen.
Geez, this guy is sappy, he thought, taking a sip of ice water. Much to the disdain of his waitress, an annoying blonde, the water grazing his lips was going to be the only thing he was going to consume here, but that didn’t stop her from trying. For the third time, she approached his table.
“Sir, is there anything I can get for you now?” she asked, attempting a polite tone as her customer’s affinity for only ice water had steadily worn through her perkiness.
“I told you I would call you if I needed anything,” he said without looking up. The waitress walked away in a huff, more angry with his obvious disinterest in her than in the menu. A clanging noise echoed in his ear piece followed by a sharp gasp at his target’s table. He looked up to see the horror etched on her pretty face. It all made sense to him now. The ambiance, the boyfriend beaming with pride and expectation; it was blatantly obvious. The bastard was going to propose to her.
“Oh, crap,” he muttered audibly enough to draw the attention of some members of the bachelor party at the table next to him.
“What’s your problem?” he asked the clearly intoxicated groom-to-be.
“Nothing, man, nothing at all,” he responded, barely coherent.
The poor sucker, Blake thought as his attention refocused on the impending disaster unfolding in the back of the room. The boyfriend was down on one knee, garnering the attention of those around them. Wow, this guy really must have it bad for her. It’s too bad he is going to lose her one way or another tonight. He moved his hand into the pocket of his overcoat over the barrel of the revolver. If she said “yes”, it was going to be all over. He would draw the gun, shoot, and be out of the restaurant before anyone had a chance to look his way. Speed and agility were just one of the many perks of being a couple of notches above humans on the evolutionary chain.
There was silence for what seemed like an eternity until he heard the words he waited to hear: “I can’t marry you” and “I’m sorry.” With those words, she ran out of the restaurant, eliciting commotion in her wake. He now had the answer he’d come here for. In relief, he removed his hand from the revolver. It was time to again make contact with the target.
****
I forced myself to pick my body up from the floor of the stairwell. Taking a deep breath, I struggled to push the door to the rooftop open. It was a door I’d opened several times before but, for some reason, tonight it seemed to weigh a thousand pounds more than I remembered. With the opening of the door, I fully expected to see Blake Cohen standing before me, ready to take me to places unknown. To my surprise, the roof was vacant except for a ray of light from the rising moon. Where was he? Had this been all some kind of sick, twisted joke? A rush of anger flooded through my body.
“Where are you?” I yelled. “What more do you want from me? I have nothing left to give.” My body shook from the gravity of the entire evening.
“Don’t you think that was a little over the top?” Blake Cohen’s voice asked from behind me.
I turned around to see him leaning on the door of the stairwell, his cocky smile illuminated by moonlight. “You weren’t here a few seconds ago. How did you get up here so fast?”
“That’s my little secret.”
I wanted to smack that smug smile right off his face. “Look, I believe you. I’ve done everything you asked me to. I’ve given up everything I could possibly give up. I’m a broken person ready to be pieced back together in any way you see fit if it helps to bring The Man in Black down.”
“You act like you’re the only one who’s ever given anything up in their life. I really hope you get over this melodramatic, whining thing quick. It doesn’t suit you very well.” He strode over to the edge of the building, looking over the edge as though he were unimpressed by the view below. “Not to mention it makes you more vulnerable. They’ll eat you alive where we’re going.”
“Well, are we just going to stand here, or are you going to take me to your secret lair?”
“Someone better lay off the superhero flicks. Go back to your apartment and grab anything and everything you want to take that can fit into this.” He threw a small backpack into my arms. There wasn’t much that was going to be able to fit into the canvas interior. Thankfully, I hadn’t planned on taking much of anything.
“What about my other things and my lease?”
“Already taken care of. Now, I suggest you hurry. That boyfriend of yours doesn’t take no for an answer. You probably have about
five minutes before he comes knocking on your door begging you to take him back.”
“So, you saw everything at the restaurant?”
“Did you expect me not to? Meet me back up here when you’re done.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
“I can already tell this is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship,” he smiled slyly.
Shaking my head, I ran back down the stairwell to the floor of my apartment. The last thing I wanted to see was Chase. I couldn’t face him again. He’d been hurt by me in every way conceivable, and I knew that if I were to see him and the hurt in his eyes again, I would cave and I wouldn’t be able to rejoin Blake. Hastily unlocking the door, I entered my apartment.
I was going to miss my apartment. The eclectic mix of mismatched furniture; the lack of hot water; the memories Chase and I had made there. Already knowing what I wanted to take, I ran to my night stand drawer and grabbed my photo album. Ironically, I now knew that the family photographs that had caused me so much pain were going to be the incentive I would need to get me out of bed each day. Quickly thumbing through the remaining photographs, I found one of Chase and I taken at the beach. Regardless of how painful it was going to be to look at, I grabbed it along with a few others.
What else? My closet door was open, prompting me to rummage through it, grabbing a shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a pair of tennis shoes. I figured that packing them was a smart bet considering I wasn’t exactly sure what I would be required to wear wherever we were going. With the photographs and clothing being all I could fit into the minuscule backpack and, remembering what Blake had said about Chase, I made a dash for my door.
On my way out, I glanced at my desk, remembering the letter I’d written to Chase. In my emotionally wrought state, I hadn’t given him the letter at dinner as I had planned. Without hesitation, I ran over to the desk, tore off a piece of tape from the dispenser, and retrieved the letter. Once I was outside my apartment, I taped the letter to the door. If Chase were truly coming, there would be no way he would miss it there.
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