“Are you cold? You look pale,” Nate asked, seeming totally unaware of the affect he was having on her.
“I’m fine. I just feel like I need some air.”
Looking concerned, he took her arm and led her out the side door. Polly took a deep breath and hoped it would help ease the odd feelings mixing it up inside her. She knew it was simply from the emotions of watching the wedding and remembering hers. That was what it was.
“Hey, you two,” Lacy called, hurrying up. “You’re coming over to the community center, aren’t you?”
Polly nodded and Nate, too. Lacy grinned.
“Good, great, in fact. See y’all there. By the way,” she called over her shoulder as she sailed by, “you two look really snazzy together.”
Like a whirlwind, Lacy raced away to join Norma Sue and Esther Mae, who had slipped out early to beat the crowd and make sure things were ready for the reception. Polly figured Adela would have left with them, but she was playing the piano.
Polly was thinking about all these points, and trying not to focus on what Lacy had just said. She already knew she and Nate looked snazzy. Nate would make anyone look fantastic. The man was a walking cologne ad. With or without his Stetson. Still, they weren’t a couple.
You could be.
“Mom, can I ride with Max?” Gil asked, skidding to a stop. He was moving so fast, he bumped into her. If Nate hadn’t reacted quickly and caught her they’d have fallen to the ground in a heap. As it were, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kept them on solid ground.
“Whoa there, pardner,” he drawled, holding Polly steady while she held Gil steady. His arms were strong and she could feel his heart pounding against her shoulder as she looked up at him then back to her son.
Gil’s eyes twinkled impishly. “Sorry,” he said. “But can I, please?” If Polly hadn’t known better she would have thought he’d knocked into her on purpose. But her brain wasn’t sparking on all cylinders, as she was still shaken by the fact that Nate was still holding her in his arms.
Polly barely nodded but that was enough for Gil. He raced off, tossing a thank-you over his shoulder. She stepped away from Nate immediately.
“Is something wrong?”
Polly hugged herself, her hands clutching her arms in a death grip. “No. Fine.” Like that sounded convincing.
“Look, I know you want to go to the reception, but can we walk for a bit before we head that way?”
Walking meant more time with him. Alone time. Polly met his gaze and her nails bit into her biceps. “Sure.”
No, no, no! her better judgment squeaked.
Nate smiled and tucked his fingertips into the front of his jeans, causing his suede jacket to flair at his narrow hips. He looked relaxed and comfortable.
Polly was neither.
It didn’t help that she was noticing far too many details about Nate. Like the way his hair curled slightly at his nape. And that when she stood beside him, her shoulders came exactly to the right level for him to comfortably drape his arm across them…a thought that reminded her all the more of the comfort she’d drawn from being held in Marc’s arms. Only, she was suddenly having a hard time thinking of Marc. And for that she felt guilty.
Basically she was a mess. And he wanted to walk.
Which meant talking.
She wasn’t so sure she could talk at the moment. Her mind was too full. She kept thinking about what Nate had said earlier. He said she made him want to dream. What had he meant by that?
“It was a nice ceremony.”
His soft baritone eased a bit of tension from her and she nodded, falling into step beside him as he started strolling toward the side of the church. Behind them, gravel crunched as cars drove out of the parking lot and headed toward town.
“I miss the ease that I used to feel when I was here.”
Polly glanced at him. “Did you and Kayla belong to this church long?”
He nodded. “I met Kayla at A & M. She’d inherited our house from her grandparents. But they’d used it as a weekend home for years, and it was pretty rundown when we decided to make our home here. We loved it, though…young dreams. That’s what we had when we started attending church here and fixing up our place.”
Polly understood about those dreams. She’d come to Mule Hollow to fulfill her and Marc’s “young” dreams. What kind of dreams had he meant before the wedding? Was he saying he wanted to share dreams with her?
“Can we sit for a minute?” Nate asked when they came to a park bench sitting to the side of the small playground.
“Okay.” She glanced at the iron bench. It seemed far too small, but she would have been silly-looking if she’d hugged the arm of it. Managing a smile, she settled as casually as possible beside Nate. Not so easy when his arm was draped on the back of the bench and his thigh brushed hers ever so slightly. Once again she was more than a little aware of him as a man. Not just any man, but a man she could—
“Can we try something?” he asked, cutting into the thought that she couldn’t quite get into focus.
She looked at him, his dark eyes drawing her. He shifted so that his arm no longer draped behind her on the bench. Instead, his hand rested exactly between her shoulder blades. She could feel the tension in his knuckles through the thin material of her dress.
“I know the wedding was a sentimental journey for both of us. But can we spend the rest of the afternoon trying not to think about our past?”
Marc and Kayla. Polly stiffened.
“Please don’t tense up again, Pollyanna. You don’t have anything to be afraid of with me.”
Polly wasn’t so sure. His thumb gently caressed the spot where it touched her back, and she felt the gentleness all the way to her toes. She met his gaze, seeing the intense look she’d glimpsed when they’d first approached the church earlier. The pull was strong, magnetic, and she found herself leaning ever so slightly toward him.
“You make me want to get on with my life. I’m just asking for us to step out there and try.”
“Try.” Polly bit her lip. Could she?
He nodded again. “They would want us to at least try to move forward.”
Her entire world revolved around those two words. Move forward. She sucked in a deep breath. Marc’s words echoed in her mind. “Life is for living.” He’d said it over and over, like a mantra. She blinked back the burning sensation that welled behind her eyes. She’d never thought she would even want to try after having loved Marc so much…but she’d never thought she would meet someone like Nate.
These unnerving feelings had snuck up on her. And they scared her. And what was new about that? Everything scared her.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you,” she said. “But more than that, I can’t hurt Gil any more than he’s been hurt. I’m already worried about the attachment he has for you. If…” She looked away. Nate took her hand between his two strong hands and squeezed gently. Drawing her to look at him.
“I would never hurt Gil. Or you.”
Polly searched his eyes. “That’s a promise none of us can make. We both know that.”
“True. But are the risks worth it? I think so. I think you and Gil are worth it.”
Polly hadn’t expected this when she’d moved to Mule Hollow. She’d expected to settle in and grow content with the life she’d been given. She hadn’t expected to fall…to find someone she could—She couldn’t finish the thought. Couldn’t bring herself to let the idea come fully into her consciousness. It might be back there, hovering, but for some reason, she couldn’t think it. Instead, she shoved it away and stood.
“We can try,” she said, and held out her hand.
Nate stood, took her hand and tugged gently, pulling her into his embrace. He cupped her head against his shoulder and whispered, “thank you,” against her hair.
Trembling, she closed her eyes and for a moment relished the feel of him. The strength of his arms, the steady, sure beat of his heart against her cheek, the gentle cares
s of his hand upon her shoulder snuggling her closer. For the first time in two years Polly felt safe and alive.
And terrified.
Chapter Twenty
The community center was on Main Street, just down the sidewalk from Sam’s Diner, and the party was in full swing when Polly and Nate walked in. Someone was singing from the stage at the front of the community center. Polly marveled at the town she’d moved to. It was so full of life. As she took a deep breath and walked into the midst of everyone, Nate at her side, she was troubled.
“Would you like some punch?” Nate asked, leaning in toward her so she could hear him over all the laughter, chatter and singing that filled the room.
“That would be nice.” Her throat was unusually dry.
Nate squeezed her elbow. “I’ll be right back.”
Watching him stride through the crowd, she still couldn’t believe that she’d, well, she’d agreed to try to move forward like this. When she’d awakened this morning, it was not with the thought that today she would agree to try to leave her past behind. Leave Marc behind. Yet she’d done it.
Standing in the midst of the crowd without Nate beside her to muddle her thoughts, she wondered about herself.
She’d had good, valid reasons for not wanting to ever fall in love and remarry. But Nate had stolen past all those reasons and sent her head and heart into a state of confusion. She wasn’t even certain if that described what she was feeling. She cared for Nate. There was no denying it. But was that all it was?
She closed her eyes, alone in a sea of people, the variables of her situation swirling around her. Did she love Nate Talbert? The question crowded out everything else. She’d known it was floating around back there, but she’d refused to acknowledge it before. And with good reason.
She didn’t want to love him.
So she wouldn’t.
“Punch for the lady.”
Polly jumped. “Thank you.” Her hand trembled as she took the cup.
“You’re welcome.” Nate sounded happy as he stepped close and rested his hand possessively at the small of her back, sending ripples of awareness along her skin.
Glancing around, she realized that others were noticing how close Nate was standing, and his attentiveness to her. Esther Mae waved with the serving knife she was using to slice the wedding cake, openly beaming with excitement.
Applegate and Stanley were ambling toward them from one direction and Polly saw the speculation in their wizened old eyes. Her instinct was to step back to get away from the questions she knew were coming. What she did instead was step up against Nate, who reacted by sliding his arm around her waist and hugging her to him.
“Careful, there. It’ll be okay. They’re on our side.”
She glanced up at him, and his reassuring smile washed over her. She knew it was true. Still, she felt like she was on a Tilt-A-Whirl. With no protective bar.
“You two lookin’ mighty cozy tonight,” Applegate said, his voice carrying over the buzz of the room.
“Yup, you two remind me of me and my Elisa Jane. Mighty handsome, if I say so myself.”
Deeply touched, Polly smiled and tried to relax, but Nate’s arm remained at her waist and he hugged her again. It was meant to reassure her, but it just made her all the more aware of him. He was holding her like she was his to cherish.
“You two clean up nice,” Nate said, easily taking the focus away from them as App and Stanley turned to give each other a once-over.
“I look better’n him.” Applegate’s naturally dower expression brightened with a playful grin.
“You wish,” Stanley grunted.
Polly was smiling when Lacy whipped by. “Like I said, cute couple.” She winked and was gone, loaded down with dirty dishes on her way through the crowd to the kitchen.
It went on like that all night. Cute little remarks meant to encourage. By the time the evening ended she’d relaxed, helped in part by Nate’s steadfast support. As they headed home Polly listened to Gil and Nate talk.
A deep sense of contentment settled over her.
They were halfway home when Gil groaned.
“You okay, pardner?” Nate asked.
Polly turned to look at Gil. He looked a little pale. “Do you feel bad?”
“My stomach is bubbling,” he said, and shifted in the seat. “Weddings are sure a good place for cake.”
Nate glanced at Polly and grimaced.
Polly frowned at Gil. “So how many pieces did you have?”
“Five, is all. Of the white cake.”
“Five!” Polly shook her head. “And the chocolate?”
“Only four.” He lay his head back and put his hand on his belly.
“So how’s the stomach?” Nate asked, beating Polly.
Gil shrugged. He was starting to look gray. “Aw, that’s nothing. I could eat more than that if I wanted.”
He didn’t sound too convincing, though. By the time they pulled up in the driveway he didn’t look good at all. Polly tried to comfort him from the front seat but he was a sick fella. She didn’t even state the obvious, hoping he now realized eating nine pieces of cake and no telling how many cups of punch wasn’t the best idea.
As soon as they came to a stop Nate hopped out of the truck and eased him into his arms. “I gotcha, pardner.” Gil groaned and Polly felt for him. “Hang in there,” Nate said, and carried him toward the house. Polly closed the truck door, then jogged ahead and unlocked the front door and held it wide for them.
“This way,” she said when Nate stopped at the base of the stairs. Bogie joined them as they hurried to the second floor. She led them into Gil’s room and pulled back his covers. In the corner, beneath the sheet, Pepper stirred in his cage but settled down almost instantly.
“I’ll get him ready for bed if you want to get him some medicine or something to make him more comfortable,” Nate said, his voice hushed.
Polly’s heart warmed. “Thank you, I’ll be right back.”
She hurried down to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and the medicine for an upset stomach, then raced back upstairs. Gil and Nat were coming out of the bathroom as she entered Gil’s room again. Gil held a wet cloth in his hand and looked pale.
“He should feel a little better,” Nate said as he helped him crawl back beneath the covers.
Understanding what that meant, Polly cringed. “I’m so sorry you had to take care of that.”
“No problem,” Nate said. He moved to the side as Polly filled the spoon with medicine and held it out to Gil. “Take this,” she instructed. “It will help. Though I’m pretty sure Nate was right. What just happened in there is going to help the situation immensely.”
Gil eyed the spoon and groaned. “I gotta?”
“You gotta.”
He heaved a sigh and opened his mouth, resigned to his fate. Polly held in a smile and dutifully stuck the spoon inside. He grimaced as he swallowed, then lay down. “Why does medicine taste so nasty?”
Nate chuckled. “Maybe it’s so you’ll remember it the next time you decide to eat nine pieces of cake.”
Gil looked up at him. “That cake was goood.”
Polly smoothed his hair off his clammy forehead. “You amaze me, dear. Are you hurting now?”
He shook his head.
“You feel like saying your prayers?”
He nodded and closed his eyes. “Thank you for today. The cake was great. For my daddy. My mom and Nate…” His voice trailed off and Polly continued stroking his hair as he prayed. Now she opened her eyes and was content to watch him fall asleep. In less than a minute his breathing evened out.
“He runs at high speed and then crashes,” she whispered, stood and led the way out the door. Bogie had curled up at the foot of his bed and was sleeping, too. He didn’t budge when she turned out the light and pulled the door almost shut. Polly wanted to hear Gil if he called.
Nate draped his arm over her shoulders as they walked slowly down the stairs. They were halfway down
when she smiled up at him. “That was above and beyond the call of duty. Thank you.”
He stopped walking and turned her in his arms. “I know this is going to sound strange, but I enjoyed it.”
Polly chuckled. “You’re right, it does sound strange.” She was standing in the circle of his arms and her face was tilted up so she got a close-up view of his smile. It was devastating from two feet away. From this distance it was a lethal weapon. Coupled with having just gallantly taken care of her son tossing his cookies and not complaining about it, the man was simply irresistible.
“You know I’d do anything for you and Gil.”
Polly sighed and lay her head against his powerful chest, taking comfort in the feel of his arms tightening around her. He kissed the top of her head and she sighed.
She believed him.
When she looked up, he seemed to be waiting and their lips were but a breath away from each other’s. He waited, as if to give her a chance to turn away. When she didn’t, he lowered his lips to hers.
Her knees almost buckled at the tender touch of his lips to hers. When his arms tightened around her, pulling her closer, her blood started pounding in her ears as emotions raged inside her.
“I’m sorry.” Polly yanked away, stepping back to clutch the banister. “I can’t.”
Dan Dawson had come to put new shoes on Taco and Nate’s other three horses. Nate had avoided town almost completely the first year after Kayla died. He’d even driven the seventy miles to Ranger for groceries just so he wouldn’t have to see the pity in everyone’s eyes. His friends had let him know they were there for him, but for the most part they’d given him the space he needed to grieve. He’d started humoring them a bit during the past year in an attempt to squelch the aching loneliness that he’d began to hate and grow weary of.
Dan had been one of the few people who’d seen him on a regular basis during that entire time. When Nate’s horses needed shoes, they needed shoes. And Dan Dawson was the man for the job.
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