Big Bad Beast (Werescape)

by Moncrief, Skhye

  No.

  Augustus can't be lying. I just need to go to sleep. Stop thinking. Get well. Then I can leave. Yes. Leave. Head West.

  A wave of fire washed over me.

  Burned me to the core. Boiled my blood. Sent bitter bile roiling up to my throat. Made my eyelids clamp tight to fight the steam surely pluming out of them.

  Gods, to sleep. To welcome the darkness. Anywhere Hostillian wasn't would be better than sweating my last breath away in his bed. And just what was my cousin's plan here?

  The darkness sucked me in deeper and deeper into Hostillian's bed with each breath.

  ****

  "So, why do you want to leave her here?" I asked Augustus from where I sat in my armchair placed a few feet away from the hearth's bitter heat.

  He ignored me, staring into the fire's lapping yellow flames, kicking back in the other armchair with his boots propped upon the hearth's cobbled masonry. "She needs something to do. A purpose. And I'll be cursed if I can't see a better place for her to help out. Here. With the students. They liked her. Didn't they?" He turned an accusing mask to me.

  One almost enjoying the way I had to be squiriming in my chair. But I'll play along. My poker face intimidated the shit out of other Shifters. I shrugged. "They're teens. They see a female's tail and rub up against her legs. You didn't have to ask me that. Why are you even talking about her working here?" Would he bother answering? Knowing him, he would.

  He sighed deeply, assessing the hearty fire. "Don't know, Hostillian. It just feels right. She needs a challenge. This would be challenging."

  Now, he's making sense. "So, I'm supposed to make her muck the stalls, scrub the floors, babysit the students? To challenge her? That's what you have planned? And I'm supposed to babysit her for you?" He probably really did want me to keep an eye on her. Keep tabs on his little problem. Like the teens. I guess I was just big and bad. But isn't life supposed to force us to aspire to something bigger and better than bullying the pack? Something more personal. Something requiring a gentle touch that eased the soul instead of kept a bunch of ducks lined up in a row?

  "I don't like that twist of disgust on your face, Hostillian."

  He's still toying with me. Watching my face. And I had reacted. Just what he wanted. One day I'd learn to leave well enough alone. But why? Why had I followed his bait? Continued this farce of a discussion? Rather interrogation? I deserved the trouble that came from it. And trouble laid in wait beyond the wooden boards, in my bed. Yes. Trouble. Because my pack leader isn't disclosing everything.

  But if he thought I'd just tuck tail and cower submissively, he knew better. Probably counted on that reaction. I caught his gaze and demanded he pay attention with an unavoidable stare.

  Just so I could see his eyes. See he understood. "I don't know how keeping that wild cat busy out here with the youths is going to help accomplish anything. But you force her to do anything, and she's going to do the opposite. You know Josie. Just leave her to her crazy plans." Leave her to me. Let me make the most out of what I can to keep her here with me. If there's anything I can do about it. After all, Josie's involved. And that wild cat has a will of her own.

  ****

  Something wet swiped across my brow. Cool. Refreshing. Drawing me from my slumber. The bed was hot. Miserable. Merciless. And my lips seemed pasted together. Glued shut like my eyelids.

  Sick. I'd been sick. Asleep. How long? What had I missed? Discussions? Scrubbing the floors! How many other discussions referred to me? About my health? About my sanity?

  "Are you waking up?" Hostillian asked with a warm husky coo.

  Mesmerizing me with the sexiness of it. How long would I have to endure his intoxicating presence before I could climb into the saddle and be shorn of this place? Of the chores he had in store for me?

  A warm palm wrapped around the side of my face.

  Ever so carefully.

  My heart swooped.

  Why does he have to be so gentle? Gods, to be more than convenient for the perfect man. To be the woman he wanted to mate.

  "I'm going to wash your face," he said. "Maybe it'll make you feel better."

  A warm damp rag brushed across my brow, an eye, then another, down to my cheeks, and mouth. He didn't stop there. He wiped my neck too. Carefully. Tenderly as if he feared he hurt me. Or might frighten me by jarring me awake.

  "Wake up, Josie. You need to eat something today."

  How long had I been asleep?

  "And if you wake up, Augustus will go home and leave us here to deal with the crops."

  A bit of an implication about Augustus leaving equating to more than us operating from beneath the pack leader's scrutiny resonated in his words. Just what is Hostillian looking forward to? My cooking, scrubbing his floors, and spreading my legs. As long as it suited me. Then I'm out of here. I struggled to raise my hand.

  Managed to locate my eyebrow and rubbed an eyelid open.

  "How do you feel?" he rumbled.

  Awfully close.

  A bubble of heat moved in.

  Making my body even more miserable beneath the covers. I moved my fist to find Hostillian inches from my face. Shaved head, eyes glowing golden, circle beard meticulously trimmed around the softest lips on the planet. Now would be a good time for them to kiss me. To prove how much I stood to lose if I got a wild hair to run for the hills.

  It must be daytime because of the strong sunlight hitting his face, making him easily read. I guess, easily.

  His big hand flew up like a broad leaf and settled next to my cheek. "Fever's gone." The corners of his eyes tugged with a smile.

  Promised I'd be happy in his bed. Oh. Yes. I know I'll be happy here. Can be. As long as I'm not just his big bone to gnaw on. Well, I kind of enjoy his manner of gnawing. Maybe I don't want to be his maid. Grant it. A woman cooked and cleaned for her mate. I'm just not ready to do so for a man who didn't find me important enough for marking.

  "The boys made a big pot of stew. Panther worked on a cobbler. Said he wanted to try the dried cherries." Hostillian's thumb brushed my cheek.

  Back and forth. Hypnotically. Injecting me with renewed energy.

  He smiled as if he could read my mind. Knew I'd buckled to his touch. I supposed I'd be stupid to leave today. I'd wait until he pushed me to scrub the floorboards. It's definitely worth the wait to have what I'd always wanted. To play with the Big Bad Beast in his bed.

  He chuckled a little and rubbed the pad of his thumb across my lips.

  How odd. Like the fever had burned away his formidable exterior.

  "I'll bring you some food." He rose and vanished.

  What seemed like a heartbeat later, his large magnificent shirtless form reappeared at my side with two aluminum camping plates of food. "Stew or cherry dessert, what's your passion?"

  His optimistic mask didn't seem to reflect a realization he combined many words into a statement that could be misinterpreted into stewed cherry passion. And he'd already devoured my cherry. Talk about embarrassing. I tried to swallow.

  To dislodge my tongue from where it was glued to the ceiling of my mouth. Talk about a ridiculous feat.

  He placed the dishes on the bed and petted my cheek again. "Thirsty?"

  As if he could read my mind. But water just might solve my speech problem. I nodded.

  A cup materialized at my side. He knelt beside the bed, snaking an arm behind my shoulders and lifting me enough so that I could sip from the cool metal cup he held at my lips.

  Water slid across my tongue.

  Down my throat. Almost rejuvenating me as much as the power in his body he wrapped around my shoulders.

  "Everything's okay, Josie. You just haven't eaten for three days. We'll get some food inside you, then you'll feel better."

  So sweet. He's so damned not the Big Bad Beast. Or he's tricking me. What's right?
What's wrong? How can I tell after what took place between us? After being sick? I have to think. Decide what everything means. And anytime, I could run for The Wild. Leave.

  "Augustus wants to speak with you," he noted.

  Joy. Don't even give me a chance to wet my whistle and descend upon the little trapped girl. You gotta love clan leaders who fancy themselves important. Throw in the idiots who let him lead, and people wonder why I'm leaving. But with big serious puppy eyes staring me down, who can climb out of bed and race for safety from my cousin? Surely Hostillian won't let Augustus decree anything that would hurt me. I nodded.

  "Can you hold this?" he lowered the cup to one of my hands.

  I took the cold metal--a shocking bit of promise from the miserable heat that had plagued me for days. He grabbed me beneath my arms, hoisted me up toward the woodsy smell of his enormous form, and scooted me back to lean against the wall.

  This rag-doll feeling was nice until I was left sitting alone. Not what I wanted. So, I sipped the water.

  To my chagrin, Augustus led Hostillian back into the room. They both stopped short of the bed, Augustus towering the closest.

  With a wink, my cousin smiled. "Drea won't be thrilled I return alone. But I think you're better off here." He shot Hostillian an I-decree-this look.

  As if Hostillian had no intention of allowing me to stay. But that's not right. Not after the way he took care of me and kept begging me to stay. Yes. Begging.

  Some emotion I couldn't measure clutched at Hostillian's features.

  His warm brown gaze anchored upon mine. "She's staying because she wants to."

  Like he announced I chose to be with him. I couldn't hold that against him. Not after having Augustus shout commands left and right.

  Yes. I'm staying because I want to. For now. Until things go awry again. I stared down my cousin, challenging him to argue anything else.

  "Well, then," Augustus nodded once, "I'll be on my way."

  ****

  By the time Augustus left and I returned to my room, Panther had taken Josie some clothing and left her to dress herself. If she wore underthings, Panther will have some explaining to do. But all in all, it was good to see her trying to stand. She had a fighter's spirit that just wouldn't rest.

  She stood beside the bed in a blue t-shirt and pair of tan shorts. All clean. Brand-spanking new as if she'd just traded for them with someone who'd been to a city and found a stock of pristine clothing he could trade in The Wild.

  But she looked thinner than usual. "Did you eat?"

  "Stew. " She took one wobbly step toward the window as if planning to survey the outpost.

  I grabbed her elbow and offered an arm. "Maybe you should eat more?"

  She sighed softly and turned those blue eyes upward. "In a little while. My stomach shrank."

  Those Gods-be-damned lips looked awfully pouty today. "Then maybe you should sit and rest. Let the food do its work." I should just grab that sweet little body up and place her back on the bed. But something deep in my mind told me not to push Josie.

  "Please, help me go outside. I just want to sit in the sunshine." Her eyes blinked with a slow plea.

  Play, Wolf yipped.

  Not a bad idea. Inopportune moment though. It was a long way down to those lips that just needed a man's undying attention. A risky distance. And her wobbly legs might not be up for dodging affection when she just needed some air. Yes. That's exactly what she needed. To get the hell out of this crypt. I smiled and slowly ushered her grasp into the main room.

  Panther hopped to attention where he hovered over the countertop, chopping something.

  "Outside." I thrust my chin at the door. "Move the bench into sunlight near the doorway."

  The teen darted toward the door.

  By the time I'd maneuevered her through the doorframe into warm sunlight, the lanky youth had placed the wooden bench two steps from the lodge's entrance. Right smack dab in a patch of light that could tan an albino. Not good. But she didn't comment about any fear she held of burning. I'll just keep an eye on her.

  Tam, the Maine Coon black cat with one white tuft-like spot on the tip of its puffy tail, came running to the bench, tail high like a welcoming banner, ready to assist anyone who anchored the seat down. Anything for a good scratch that graded into an hour massage.

  "That sure is a friendly cat," she chuckled while stepping off the doorstep to the ground.

  Barefoot. Hell. I should have paid more attention. With all the chickens around, one could never be too safe going without shoes outside. I grabbed her slender form into the air. "Sorry." Surely she'd forgive me the intrusion.

  Her arm snaked around my neck.

  When the moment of movement stilled, she studied me with a slight pinch between her eyebrows.

  I'll just squelch her confusion. "Worms. You aren't wearing shoes."

  "Two steps, Hostillian. I'd probably not contract anything from two steps across the yard."

  "Well," I took the final step to the bench and bent to place her on the firm wood, "we won't have to worry about you contracting anything anytime soon if I help you a little." I shot her a wink.

  Her sweet lips stretched into a grim line. "Winks don't work on me."

  Should have remembered that.

  That straight-lipped mouth curved into an inviting smile. "But I won't hold them against you now that Augustus has left." She studied me with the censure of full-blown assessment.

  Not just casual wonder. No, she obviously wanted to see my reaction. Grasp something. Well, I'm not about to let her get bored. Not with the gate open and the flighty side of her personality always on the verge of bolting. I'd just feed her curiosity. I plopped down on the vacant end of the bench and positioned me body slightly facing her, staring off at the grassy prairie not far beyond the open gateway. "So what do you think, Josie? Do these students work hard enough? Or is there something else you can add to their education?" I rolled my gaze across the hard-packed ground beneath the oaks and ash to the patch of bright light she lounged within.

  She snorted. "You're kidding. Right? You've got those poor kids on edge. Drills? You want drills like back at Augustus' little school for humanity? I'm not driving anybody into the ground like that." She actually snorted.

  Driven into the ground? "Who did Augustus torture? I don't recall you crying to go back to your sire all those years when your cousin opened the world to you through the education he offered." She actually reveled in beating any Shifter peer she could find at anything when she could challenge the fool into a little friendly competition.

  Her gaze trailed off to the gate, then down to the ground as if she pondered the creatures inhabiting the soil.

  What I'd give to know what could drive a warrior like Josie into contemplation or a silencing flashback like this? But I'm not about to corner my feral female, the little wild cat.

  ****

  It's funny how I struggled all those years for the moment just to sit like this, here with Hostillian, having a mature conversation, and now I can't even admit the truth. That all the life and energy I had back then was to earn his favoritism. That's what I wanted. Favoritism. And all he wanted was a cook and a floor-scrubbing fuck bag.

  My gut couldn't sink any lower. Couldn't wallow in the agony of the truth that I'd never be good enough for him. Never.

  Chapter Seven

  Hostillian's finger touched my cheek, caught the edge of a long strand of my loose wayward hair and pushed it back across that cheek to lodge it behind my ear. "You look like you forgot something. Like you left a fire burning," he said softly where he sat beside me on the bench in the shade.

  Odd. So Gods-be-damned odd that tone of his. Like he'd become a completely different person. Maybe because we'd had sex? Or the fact I looked so damned weak and vulnerable during the fever changed his tune. But he's acting strangely
. Most likely because he's in cahoots with Augustus for whatever reason. Still Augustus had been polite and kept my menstruation a secret from everyone, including Hostillian. I guess I should give my cousin credit for that much. But what to do about Hostillian never seeing me as worthy of marking as his mate? Can he read the pain that causes on my face? It's got to be there. Blazing like a fire at night. I slid my gaze down to his brown tank top and flicked it to the fluggy black cat rubbing his shin.

  "Josie?" he asked.

  I just can't look at him. Can't let him see anything remotely associated with confusion on my face. Because the man, who keeps me close now, touches me the way someone in love touches another person. The person he loves. Cares for.

  Love. Right. This is crazy. When will his act of coddling me end? When does he turn back into the Big Bad Beast? And, even if he isn't acting, will he wake up in a few days and his vision snap back into focus? How is he really going to feel about me in the long run? Is sticking around worth the way he makes me feel during sex when he's really not the Hostillian I've always known?

  But, Gods, the way his Wolf took what it wanted. Just sniffed and lapped at my body. But that was his Wolf. The part of him he can't control. Not him.

  Besides, a Shifter marks his territory. I'm not worthy of marking.

  "Josie?"

  Well, he isn't going to give up on an answer. I slid my gaze to his dark attentive stare. "Just thinking about life."

  "Don't go, Josie," he said with outright determination and a steady voice that demanded I listen. "It doesn't matter if there's a fire burning two Territories away. I'll deal with the heat here."

  Those brown eyes of his pleaded with me to change my train of thought. To forget my troubles. But I don't know if I can believe that knowing he only thinks me useful. I'm more than useful. More than the little female who needs constant supervision. He doesn't need to hear any of that, even if he can guess it. Better to lie. For now. "I couldn't go if I wanted. I already knocked myself out fighting the fever." I shot him a wink.