by Terri Reed
“Right.” His gazed searched her face. “This was fun, Rachel. I’m glad we were able to spend this time together.”
“It was fun.” More fun than she could remember having in years.
Josh hugged Griff and then sauntered away. Rachel stared after him, memorizing the way he walked, the way he carried himself. She didn’t know when she’d see him again. And she didn’t want to analyze how that made her feel.
“I know what we need,” she said to Griff. “Candy.”
His eyes grew wide. “That’s right. We need candy.”
The candy store was just as she remembered. Large glass cases filled to the brim with sweets. She recognized the sandy-blond-haired girl behind the counter as the younger sister of one of her old classmates. She surprised herself by asking, “Are you Kate?”
The girl cocked her head and squinted her brown eyes. “Do I know you?”
“I went to school with your brother Craig. My name’s Rachel Maguire.”
Recognition dawned in her eyes. “Hi, I remember you. You used to date Josh Taylor. Everyone was surprised when he married Andrea Marsh instead.”
Rachel sucked in a breath. She placed her arm protectively around Griff’s shoulders. “This is Josh and Andrea’s son.”
Kate smiled apologetically. “Oh, sorry.”
Rachel wanted out of the store as quickly as possible. “We’d like some taffy, please.” She hoped Griff hadn’t caught the meaning of the exchange. She felt a tug on her hand. “Hmmm?”
“Chocolate?” Griff whispered.
“Some chocolate, too, please.”
Taking their candy, they sat under a tree on a wooden bench. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they savored their stash. She realized with a start that she was content, relaxed. For the moment she felt comfortable in her own skin. The only thing missing was Josh.
“You were supposed to marry my dad?”
Rachel swallowed the suddenly sticky taffy. Tensing, she chose her words carefully. “At one time we thought we’d get married.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She tried to explain. “Sometimes we make choices in our lives that take people in opposite directions. I had to make one of those choices.”
“Why?”
“Because ever since I was a very little girl I wanted to be a doctor, and the school I wanted to go to was far away. Your dad wanted to stay here.” Rachel hoped that answer appeased Griff’s curiosity and he’d let the matter drop.
Silence stretched out between them. Griff turned solemn eyes upon her and Rachel braced herself.
“Would you marry my dad now and be my mom?”
Chapter Nine
Rachel’s heart threatened to splinter into a million pieces. He didn’t understand the impact or the impossibility of his question. “Honey, I don’t need to be your mother to love you.”
“But being my mom would be better.”
But if she gave up on what she was doing, more children might lose their mothers. Rachel sighed. “Your dad and I aren’t getting married.”
“How come?”
“We have very different lives. I live in Chicago where I’m a doctor and your dad has a very important job here. It just wouldn’t work out.”
“You could be a doctor here,” he pointed out with a stubborn tilt of his chin. The gesture, so similar to his father’s, caused a pang of tenderness to shoot through her.
Even if she could make the changes that needed to be made, while working from a smaller hospital, it wasn’t possible for her at Sonora Community. Her mother had died there. She couldn’t work there. Josh would never accept the importance of her career and she couldn’t give up what God wanted her to do.
In a gesture that was becoming less awkward, she put her arms around Griff’s thin shoulders. “I’m flattered you want me to be your mom. That makes me very happy.”
He relaxed into her embrace for a moment before pulling away to stare up at her. His earnest expression was breaking her heart. “Do you love my dad?”
“I…” Rachel didn’t have the words to explain her feelings for Josh.
She supposed she’d always love him with one tiny corner of her heart. The tiny corner that housed her girlish dreams. The tiny corner where there once was a wound so big she’d thought she’d never survive the pain. Today that part of her had seemed whole and complete. But that tiny corner didn’t matter because in their situation, love wasn’t enough. It never had been and nothing had changed.
Searching for words, she settled for a simple truth, even though she knew it was a cop-out. “God teaches us to love everyone.”
Griff nodded thoughtfully. “That’s true, because God’s love and He loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for us so that we can go to heaven to be with Him.”
Rachel smiled at Griff. “Did you learn that in Sunday School?”
“Yes and no. Dad taught me about God’s love first, then I heard it in Sunday school.”
“Your dad’s a smart man.” She was glad to see Josh had imparted to his son the wonder of God’s love. She could still vividly remember the first time she’d heard the gospel message and the impact it had had on her life once she really owned the promise in the words.
Mom G. had taken her to the Red Church right after she came to live in Sonora. The pastor had talked about Jesus and His death. She’d understood it, but hadn’t really felt its connection to her.
Later, as she and Josh became close, he’d convinced her to join the youth group at church. There she began to comprehend the significance of God’s mercy and grace and His redeeming love.
Glancing up from Griff, Rachel saw Rod walking toward them. “Here’s your grandpa.”
They stood and hurried to meet him.
“Hi. Did you have a good time?” Rod hugged his grandson and smiled over his head at Rachel.
“We sure did. Dad came to help, except we didn’t find any gold,” Griff told him.
If Rod was surprised that Josh had shown up, he didn’t comment. Rachel suspected Rod had had a hand in Josh’s appearance.
“Some days are like that. You’ll find gold another time,” Rod stated. “Right now, we’d better scoot or Rachel will be late.”
Sitting inside Rod’s car as it rambled away from Columbia, Rachel stared out the window. The smattering of huge white limestone boulders which miners, looking for gold, had once dredged out of the earth, stretched along the road between Sonora and the state park. Rachel knew that though the stones looked like a fun place to explore, the area was home to a large rattlesnake population. She’d found that out once the hard way.
Griff’s continuous dialogue to Rod about their adventures drew Rachel’s attention away from the countryside. As she listened to Griff recount the day, a stitch of sadness crept over her. It was the only time in her life she’d been a part of a child’s adventures.
Rod pulled up in front of the brick law office of Mr. Finley. “We’ll wait for you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Rachel replied as she climbed from the car, but secretly hoped they would wait. She really didn’t want to be alone.
“Now, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t wait?” Rod grinned.
Rachel laughed with relief. “I shouldn’t be too long.” She hurried inside the old brick law firm.
For the sake of Griff and Rod, she blocked the swirling grief and sadness that hovered over her as she signed the necessary papers that established her as owner of Mom G.’s house and the papers that allowed the lawyer to act in her stead in the sale of the house.
She thanked Mr. Finley and quickly left. Sure enough, Rod and Griff were waiting. With a sense of homecoming that warmed and confused her, she climbed in the car and settled back against the seat. As Rod headed into the late afternoon downtown traffic, Rachel realized they were traveling in the opposite direction of her hotel. “Rod, where are we going?”
“I need to make a quick stop.”
Rachel glanced at him shar
ply and caught the twinkle in his eye. What mischief was he up to?
He turned the car off the main street and onto a dirt road. Over a slight rise, a two-story Victorian house came into view. A large lush lawn stretched around the towering gray-and-white-trimmed house, an oak tree with a homemade wooden swing dangled from a low-hanging branch and cheery flowers grew in wooden flower beds along the porch. Everything looked well kept and cared for.
A black-and-white border collie came racing around the front of the old ’65 Chevy pickup sitting off to the side of the driveway. Josh’s house. The dog’s welcoming barks and wagging tail told Rachel this was the family dog.
A flutter of nerves sent rippling waves across her skin.
“I just need to check something,” Rod explained as he cut the engine and left the car.
“Want to see my garden?” Without waiting for an answer, Griff jumped from the car. With the dog barking a welcome at his heels, he disappeared behind the house.
Left alone, Rachel slowly emerged from the confines of the suddenly suffocating car. Her gaze took in the obvious love that had gone into the upkeep of the house and yard.
In the back of her mind a voice taunted her. This is the house he’d shared with Andrea. The kind of house you could have had.
Rachel pushed the thought away. She didn’t regret the choice she’d made; she loved being a doctor. But a sudden desire for more crept in, making her wonder what their life would have been like had she chosen differently.
“Rachel!”
She followed the sound of Griff’s call to the backyard, which proved to be as closely tended as the front. Griff waved from the middle of a large patch of freshly tilled earth and a few rows of green plants. She skirted around a built-in pool and across another nicely mowed expanse of lawn to stand beside the raised garden bed. “Wow, Griff. This is great.” She breathed deeply of the sweet country air.
“This is my garden and I’m the farmer,” he said proudly.
“Looks wonderful, Farmer Griff. What have you planted?”
She listened patiently as he explained about the types of vegetables he’d planted. He seemed quite versed in the care and feeding of his plants. Was that Josh’s doing or Rod’s?
After a while, Rod appeared from around the house. “We better get you home. It’s almost supper time.”
“Could Rachel have dinner with us?” Griff asked as he wiped his hands on his shorts, leaving stripes of smeared dirt.
“Sure she can. That’s a great idea.” Rod turned his gaze on her. “You don’t want to eat alone when you could dine with us handsome men, now, do you?”
She laughed, charmed. “Thank you, but…”
He looked at her intently. “You already have plans?”
“No. I don’t want to intrude. I’m sure Josh wouldn’t want to come home to find company for dinner.” The excuse sounded lame, especially after the day they’d shared, but she couldn’t stay. She couldn’t see Josh again. She wasn’t ready for another ride on the emotional roller coaster that she rode every time he was near. “I really must leave.” She headed toward the car.
“But Dad won’t mind.” Griff and Rod fell into step with her. “He won’t get home until late anyway.”
Rod gave an assessing look. “We can take you home right after we eat.”
“We can pick green beans from my garden. They taste so much better than the ones you get from the can,” Griff added, his expression so earnest that Rachel stopped walking.
She bit her bottom lip. She didn’t relish being alone any more than she had to. A problem she’d never experienced in Chicago. But she wasn’t in Chicago, where her fast-paced world kept her from dwelling on things like loneliness and isolation. She decided to go with her current need. Besides, she wasn’t ready for her time with Griff to end. She wanted to make the most of the memories.
“All right, let’s go pick us some green beans.”
Rod smiled with approval. She blushed and hurried after Griff, ignoring the certainty that leaving had just become that much harder.
Oh, Rachel. What are you doing?
The aroma of spaghetti sauce and warm bread greeted Josh when he walked through the front door. Laughter drifted in from the kitchen. Feminine laughter.
His brows snapped together. His father had left a message saying they needed Josh home right away.
As he made his way through the house, he could hear voices. His father’s, Griff’s and then a voice he’d thought he’d never hear in his home: Rachel’s.
His father, it seemed, had taken up the matchmaking business where Mrs. G. had left off. But their efforts would never pay off, regardless of how easy and natural it felt to be in her company.
When his dad had told him that Griff and Rachel were at Columbia, all he could think about were the times they’d spent there years ago and how much he wanted to spend the day with Rachel and his son.
He’d wanted to make sure she was okay after the revelations of the day before; at least that’s how he’d rationalized his need to be with them. It had been sweet torture. He hadn’t wanted it to end. Reality really stank at times.
Rounding the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway. Griff stood on a chair in front of a large pot on the stove with a spoon in his hand. Rachel was leaning over his shoulder, his father’s barbecue apron double-wrapped around her slim waist. One of Josh’s old bandanas held back her ebony hair.
For a moment, dizziness swept through him. Seeing Rachel and Griff together, their heads bent close, made his heart ache. This was what he wanted. A wife to raise his son and a woman who would be passionate about their family, about him. A warm woman to love, who would want his love.
He gave himself a shake.
Rachel was not that person. Her career was her priority. She’d made that perfectly clear. She would never be content living here with them no matter how much fun they had together.
He exhaled slowly, finally remembering to breathe, and met his father’s knowing gaze. Josh narrowed his eyes with silent reprimand. Rod shrugged, but his eyes held mirth and mischief.
“I didn’t know we were having company tonight,” Josh commented as he stepped fully into the room.
Rachel turned quickly toward him, her eyes wide. Obviously she wasn’t a willing participant in his father’s matchmaking scheme. Not that she’d ever agree to such a thing. She’d claimed she didn’t need anyone and Josh pitied her for that. He’d have self-destructed long ago if not for his father, Griff and Mrs. G.
Sadness for Rachel, for the blows she’d sustained in the past few days and for her insistence of a solitary life, weighed heavily on his heart. She deserved his compassion and understanding. He’d made her laugh today. He’d do what he could to keep things light between them.
Griff waved the spoon, sending red sauce spraying everywhere. “Hi, Dad. What are you doing home so early? We didn’t think you’d be home ’til late.”
A splatter of sauce landed on Rachel’s cheek but she didn’t seem to notice. Her gaze pierced him. Her blue eyes darkened and her lips parted slightly. He recognized that look. The same one she’d had before she’d kissed him. It was a look that told him she saw him as a man in the here and now, not just as some guy from her past.
The uncomfortable pounding of his heart made thinking difficult. He broke the eye contact with Rachel and forced himself to answer his son. “I got a message—”
Rod cleared his throat, cutting him off. Josh shook his head at his father’s antics. This had to stop. He and Rachel weren’t going to get back together. The sooner his father accepted reality the better.
In a sudden flurry of activity, Rachel pulled off the apron, moved to the sink and washed her hands. “I think I should be leaving now. You gentlemen enjoy your dinner.” She moved to the back door and then stopped. Slowly she turned around. “Uh, Rod, would you mind taking me back to the hotel?”
Eyebrows raised in innocent surprise, Rod asked, “Couldn’t we wait until after we eat? I�
�m hungry.” He deliberately moved to the table and sat down.
Her gaze darted between the men. She swallowed. “I don’t want to intrude.”
Josh moved to the sink and washed his hands. Her gaze remained on him and he sensed her reluctance. “I’ll take you back after dinner, Rachel.”
She pulled her lip between her teeth, looking a little forlorn and uncertain. Surprise flickered through him. Seeing the moment of vulnerability touched him, making him want to take her in his arms and hold her. If they could recapture a fraction of the comfortable and easy atmosphere they’d shared earlier in the day, then he could let her go.
“Stay and eat, please.” He smiled reassuringly and stepped closer.
She stepped back, bumping into the door. She gazed up at him and blinked. Slowly, so to not send her running, he reached out and wiped the red smear of sauce from her cheek with his index finger. She swallowed. He held up his finger. “Sauce,” he said, his voice low.
She nodded, her lips parted. Josh fought the urge to kiss her. To recapture the blissful torture she’d inflicted upon him the other day. Abruptly he stepped back. Kissing her in front of his son and father was not a good idea. In fact, kissing her at all was a very bad idea. It would only heighten his attraction to her and complicate an already complicated situation.
He held out a chair at the table. “Sit, Rachel.”
A mutinous expression came over her lovely face. “You sit.” A spark of spunk flashed in her bright blue gaze.
“Are you going to serve us?” he teased, and liked the way she flushed in response.
She squared her shoulders and drew herself up, once again appearing cool and aloof. “No, I’m not going to serve you. You can set the table and get some serving dishes.” Her tone softened as she looked at Griff. “You can come down from there and join your grandfather at the table.” She threw Rod a murderous look before moving to the stove.
Josh hid his amused smile. She was something special. Running cold yet she could send his blood pressure skyrocketing with one smoldering glance. He staunchly forced himself to squelch the fierce need welling inside. He had no business allowing his feelings to run amok. She would be leaving soon, and he was not going to pine away for her a second time in his life.