Jason nodded vigorously, tugging him over the threshold. “All the kisses. Everything.”
Ben caught Jason’s lips as they came together hungrily. He managed to close the door, pressing him back against it, roaming his hands over Jason’s chest, skimming up under his clothes, eager for warm skin.
Jason spread his legs, and Ben shoved his thigh between them. They were both hard already, and he squeezed Jason through his jeans, anticipation flooding his senses. Then Ben jolted with a thought, pulling back.
“Where’s Maggie?”
Panting, Jason got out, “Downstairs. Her friend’s place. Don’t stop.”
“You’re sure?” Please be sure.
“I know I freaked out in the hotel, but yes. I’m a hundred percent sure. A hundred and ten if we want to get into sports clichés.”
“I’m disappointed it’s not a hundred and twenty.”
They laughed and kissed and rubbed, all needy gasps and moans, devouring each other. Jason bucked into Ben’s hand, groaning low in his throat. Ben wanted to climb into Jason’s skin, frantic emotion drumming through him like the rain that had begun to pelt the windows.
They had too many clothes on, and Ben didn’t have time to peel them off. His fingers made fast work of their buttons and zippers, and they groaned in unison when he shoved down their underwear enough to take their cocks in hand. He spit on his palm and stroked in concert with his thrusting hips, gripping their dicks together.
“Oh, God. This is too good to be true.” Jason moaned, his eyes squeezed shut. Ben jerked their hot, straining cocks as he kissed Jason again, sucking his tongue into his mouth.
Ben leaned back, panting. “I’m here. We’re together. Open your eyes.”
Jason did, and with a soft gasp he came, gaze still locked with Ben’s. Ben sped up the pace of his strokes, and a few seconds later he shuddered with his own release. He rested his face in the crook of Jason’s neck as he came down, pulse still racing, milking them through their aftershocks.
He licked at the beads of sweat in the hollow of Jason’s throat, then lifted his sticky hand, their seed mixed together on his skin. Ben licked his fingers clean, his balls twitching with the salty, musky combination, Jason watching, his pupils still blown, lips kiss-red, stubble burns on his face.
When Ben had gotten the last drop, Jason cupped his face and kissed him long and slow, licking into his mouth. Ben breathlessly shared their taste with him, and it felt like nothing less than a promise.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Bye, Mrs. Lane!” Maggie’s voice rang out as the front door opened.
In the bathroom, Ben and Jason sprang apart, laughing. They’d cleaned up and had been kissing each other for Ben didn’t know how long, all lips and spit and whispers of breath, quiet and perfect. It was like oxygen, the need to kiss Jason and have him close. He was giddy with it.
“Dad? There’s a bag in the hall.”
Ben realized they’d totally forgotten it as Jason squeezed his hand and led him from the bathroom. Maggie stood in the open doorway in shorts and a T-shirt, frowning down at his old duffel. She said, “Why would someone just leave it out here?”
“Sorry, I forgot it,” Ben said. “Scatterbrained today.”
Her head shot up, and she stared at Ben wordlessly. His gut clenched with sudden uncertainty. What if Maggie didn’t want him there? Montana had been one thing—would she want him to become a permanent part of her life? He and Jason hadn’t even had time to talk about logistics or anything, really.
He ran a hand through his hair, straightening it. “Hey, Maggie. How are you? I… I’m here,” he finished lamely.
Blinking, she looked between Ben and Jason, then zeroed in on Ben. “You’re here?” Her round face alight with pure joy, she raced over and threw her arms around his waist. “I missed you!”
Hugging her tightly, Ben swallowed the lump in his throat and kissed her head. “I missed you too, sweetheart.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
“What?” He jerked, glancing at Jason, then crouching and holding Maggie’s arms. “Why would I be mad?”
“Because I saw you and Dad kissing at the hospital. I pretended to be asleep, and then you didn’t say goodbye, and I thought maybe you knew and you were mad at me.”
“No, no, no. I’m so sorry I didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t do a single thing wrong. Okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled tentatively, glancing up at Jason and then back down to meet Ben’s gaze. “So are you and Dad kissing again?”
Ben’s grin felt like it glowed out of every inch of him. “We are. And if it’s okay with you, we want to keep on kissing.”
She bounced and clapped. “Yes, yes! Does this mean you’re moving here?”
“Uh…” Jason smiled uneasily. “Good question. We still have to talk about that. About everything.”
Ben stood. “We do. I actually have an idea I wanted to run by you guys.” He retrieved his duffel and they settled on the couch with Maggie between them, beaming. He cleared his throat, nerves jangling. What if they hated it?
Then we’ll figure out something else. It doesn’t matter where we live as long as we’re together.
He exhaled slowly. “First off, I have this for you, Jason.” He unzipped his bag and carefully pulled out the sketchbook, which he’d kept flat by hauling the atlas along too. “I meant to give this to you before you left.”
Sucking in a breath, Jason took it, reverently running his hand over the battered cover. “Thank you. I thought these were lost forever.”
“A little worse for wear, but no.” Ben gazed at him over Maggie. “Not lost.”
Jason met his eyes, smiling tremulously.
“Are you going to kiss, like, right now?”
Laughter bubbled up, and Ben pecked Jason’s lips, Maggie giggling between them. Jason gently laid the sketchbook on the coffee table and asked, “So what’s your idea?”
He pulled out the Yosemite brochure next, and Maggie eyed it excitedly, squirming. “Are we going there?”
“Well, I want to know how you’d feel about that,” Ben said. “After what happened, I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to go to the woods.”
“I do! I love it away from the city.” She grimaced. “I’m not going to let that bad man wreck everything. There are bad men everywhere anyway. Hopefully we’ll only meet good ones from now on.”
Jason leaned over and rapped his knuckles on the table. “I hope so too.” To Ben, he said, “Okay, Yosemite. Are you talking about a vacation?”
“No, not a vacation.” Butterflies flapped, Ben’s skin tingling. Would they want to share this future together? “They’re looking for a new head ranger at Yosemite. I asked Brad about it, and he thinks I have a great chance. He’s talking to the people down there.”
Maggie wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like Brad.”
Ben laughed. “I didn’t like him much myself the past few years, but he’s really trying to help. I want to make peace between us. He was a big part of my life for a very long time, and I hate to think it was all for nothing.”
She seemed to ponder it. “That makes sense. Okay. I’ll try to like him more.”
“Thank you. So, if I get this job, I’d move down to California. And I want you both to come with me. If that’s something you’d want to do.”
Maggie sat up straighter, eyes bright. “We could live by Yosemite? Instead of in the smelly city?”
“You could,” Ben answered, excitement rippling. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You might not even get the job.
Jason was quiet for a few moments. “I’m not sure. It would be a huge change.”
“It would,” Ben agreed, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. “I came up with a plan, and I could just tell you and see what you think?”
Maggie and Jason shared a glance, then nodded, Maggie kicking her feet rhythmically.
He exhaled. “Jason, there’s a new CalArts satellite campus in Fresno. Do you still want to go to
art school?”
“I think so?” A little smile tugged on Jason’s lips. “Wow, CalArts? I dreamed of that.”
“Of course he wants to go to art school!” Maggie motioned with her hand. “What else, what else?”
They might say yes. Holy shit. “We could live around Oakhurst, on the outskirts of the park. It’s about an hour from Fresno, and you could commute to classes, Jason. Maybe do it part-time? It would be doable.” Ben realized he was talking too quickly and stopped to take a breath.
Jason licked his lips. “Yeah. That could work.”
Maggie shook Jason’s leg, bouncing the whole futon. “Daddy, it would be perfect!”
“But what about the tuition?” Jason asked. “I don’t want to get into huge debt.”
“We’ll figure it all out. I can sell the cabin in Montana. I was looking at houses while I was waiting for my connection in Chicago, and the prices aren’t bad. There’s one in particular…” He fished out his phone and tapped. “It’s outside of town, but still close to the schools and stores. It’s at the end of a street, nice and secluded, can only glimpse one neighbor’s place through the trees.” He gave the phone to Maggie.
She and Jason scrolled through the pictures, Maggie swiping with her finger, an excited tension zinging through the air.
Ben said, “Big porch at the front and back. The estimated mortgage is twelve hundred a month. It’s totally doable. Brad bought me out of our house in Kalispell, and the money’s just been sitting in my account. I really should reinvest it. This house has been on the market a while too. Might be able to bargain them down.” He added, “And I know this is putting the cart in front of the horse. But I wanted to give you an idea of what it could be like. What we could have out there together.”
As Maggie scrolled through the pictures again, glued to the phone, Jason looked at Ben and said, “It does sound amazing, but…”
He held up his hands. “I know this is probably too much. I’d have to get the job first, and maybe you guys don’t want to move at all. I’m sure I could find a job here.”
Maggie whipped her head up, eyes wide in horror. “Here? Instead of being a ranger in the mountains? No way! That would be so dumb!” She snapped around to face Jason. “Right, Dad? Can we go? Can we move to Yosemite? You can go to art school and we could have a house!”
Jason was apparently at a loss for words. He finally said, “But where would I work? I have to make money.”
“I’m sure you could find something part-time,” Ben answered, heart hammering. “I have savings and a good salary. If money were no object, what would your dream life be? What would you change about this plan? I don’t want to come in here and dictate. We need to decide together. This is a jumping-off point. You know, just a start and…” He was babbling, and he stopped.
Jason stared into space. “What would I do differently?”
Maggie’s brows drew together. “You know you don’t have to do something different just for the sake of it. You don’t have to be a control freak all the time.”
Jason’s cheek dimpled with an incredulous smile. “You know what? I don’t think I would do anything differently. You could still work in a national park, Maggie would live in nature, and I could go to art school. It really is perfect if we can pull it off.”
Ben’s throat was dry, and he was going to come out of his skin with nervous optimism. “I know this is happening crazy fast, but if it will make us all happy, I think we should grab it. At least try, and if this plan won’t work, we’ll come up with another one. What do you say?”
Vibrating, Maggie clutched their hands, and Ben wanted to make her smile that widely for the rest of his life. He waited for Jason to answer. Jason looked at them, taking a shuddering breath before he asked, “Can we really do this?” Then he answered his own question. “I think we can. I trust you. I trust you, Ben. Let’s go for it.”
Maggie flew off the couch, literally jumping for joy, and Ben pulled Jason close. It was time for another kiss.
How is this my life?
The last time he’d wondered that, Jason had been shivering in the black of night, miles and miles in the middle of the Montana wilderness, Maggie gone. But Ben had been there, strong and dependable and good.
And here he was again.
Jason’s arm was numb, but he didn’t want to move an inch as the first rays of dawn brightened the living room. Ben’s steady breath gusted over the back of Jason’s neck, Ben spooned up close behind him, arm slung over Jason’s waist. It had been too hot for T-shirts over their pajama bottoms, which they wore for Maggie’s sake. Their heated skin pressed together.
Jason grinned to himself in the stillness.
They’d stayed up late making tentative plans that depended on Ben getting the job, and backup plans in case he didn’t. Without a proper bedroom, they’d only kissed softly and held each other as they fell asleep, content simply to be in each other’s arms.
Maybe it was crazy and impetuous for them to plan to move to California, uprooting both their lives to make a new one together with Maggie. But only one other thing in Jason’s life had ever felt so right, so destined and true—keeping his daughter when everyone said it was a mistake.
Ben stirred, his dry lips nuzzling Jason’s neck. “I can’t wait to wake up with you in our own bed,” he whispered.
A dizzy thrill sparked. “Me either.” Feeling Ben’s morning hardness pressing against him through their pajama bottoms, he boldly added, “Can’t wait to do so many things in that bed.”
“Hmm, tell me more.” Ben scraped his teeth over the back of Jason’s neck, then kissed the spot, trailing his hand down Jason’s chest. Then the teasing tone was gone, and he flattened his palm over Jason’s heart. “We can take it slow. I know what happened at the hotel was a lot to take in.”
A snort of laughter escaped Jason’s lips. “You could say that.”
Ben shook. “Oh my God, I did not mean it that way. I swear.” His laughter trailed away. “But seriously, I want to make sure you’re comfortable with everything we do. Or don’t do.”
Jason covered Ben’s hand on his chest with his own. “I know. It was intense—I guess more than I thought it would be. I’d never really let myself think about sex, so maybe that played a role. It was like…”
Ben nuzzled Jason’s neck. “What, baby?” Then he went rigid. “Shit, sorry. You didn’t like it when I called you that.”
“No, it’s okay.” He rolled it around in his head. “Say it again?”
“Baby,” Ben whispered before kissing Jason’s neck behind his ear.
A shiver skimmed over his skin. “I think I like it, actually. When we’re like this.” Now that he could relax, feeling taken care of—protected and safe—settled him and let him breathe easier. He turned his head so they could kiss briefly, slow and sweet, then rolled onto his back. Ben propped his head on his hand, waiting, his palm returning to Jason’s chest, patient and steady.
“The thing is…” Jason cast about.
“You don’t need the ‘right’ words. Just talk.” He smiled encouragingly.
“Okay. The thing is that sex was really…vulnerable, I guess. I was scared. Overwhelmed at how close I felt to you. I’ve never had that with anyone. Never trusted someone that much. Giving up control like that? It wasn’t easy.”
“I understand.” Ben’s blue eyes shone with warmth and love. “Like I said, we can go slowly. It’s not a sprint—it’s a marathon. Or something. That was supposed to sound deep.”
Jason kissed his chin and gave him a wink. “Super deep. And mmm, a sex marathon sounds pretty good now that I’ve had a chance to process everything.” He dropped his voice lower although they were already talking softly. “Now that I know what to expect, I want more. In every position possible.”
His whole body went hot as Ben rolled on top of him with delicious pressure, staring hungrily. “We don’t have our own bed yet, but let’s see what we can do in a bathroom.”
Quite a
lot, as it turned out.
Flipping the lock and pressing Ben against the door, Jason whispered, “I want to suck you.”
Eyes flickering, Ben moaned softly as he tossed a condom and bottle of lube on the counter. “You have no idea how hot it is hearing that come out of your mouth.”
Jason was determined to use his mouth to get Ben a whole lot hotter, and he dropped to his knees, the fuzzy blue bathmat cushioning him as he tugged down Ben’s pajama bottoms. The head of Ben’s cock was stained a deep red, and he licked at it like he would a cherry popsicle before sucking fully.
Ben’s hands tangled in Jason’s hair, not pushing or pulling, but heavy and good. Grounding. To have Ben’s cock throbbing in his mouth and filling his senses, hearing the little pants and moans, was pure heaven.
Jason sucked greedily, sloppy and probably doing it all wrong. But Ben wasn’t complaining, his thighs quivering as he hoarsely whispered, “That’s it.”
Experimentally, Jason ran his tongue up and down the ridge on Ben’s dick. Breathing through his nose, he slid down farther, but gagged. Ben’s gentle hands guided him back. “Not too much the first time,” he murmured.
Jason swirled his tongue around the way Ben had done to him in the hotel, and bobbed his head up and down, sucking firmly. He thought of what always got him off when he masturbated, and cupped Ben’s balls in his hand, rolling them together in his palm. Ben moaned loudly and his hips thrust up sharply. Jason followed his lead and sucked faster and harder.
Then Ben urged him to his feet, kissing him deeply and moaning into his mouth. “Going to make me come already.” Breaking their kiss, he kicked off his PJs and got rid of Jason’s too. “Need to fuck you again. You still want that?”
Jason laughed, his whole body electric. “Is that a trick question?”
Ben leaned in, his lips at Jason’s ear, hands sliding down to palm Jason’s ass cheeks. “You want me to fuck you?”
Cock jumping, Jason nodded.
“Can you say it? Can you tell me what you want?”
Even after everything, Jason’s face went hot. “I want you. Please, I…I want you to fuck me.”
Ends of the Earth: Gay Romance Page 21