Now she’d had her eyes opened, she could see the hunger in his as they fixed on the envelope before moving back to look at her sympathetically.
‘Of course I’m sure. I’ve seen and spoken to him. There’s no doubt it’s him. I’m sorry.’
Grace lost it – she could hardly see through the blaze of anger that suddenly seared through her. ‘Oh, you’re sorry are you? That’s rich.’
His gaze faltered. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You know what I mean. Rory’s dead. I found out yesterday that his body was formally identified using dental records – and I’d say it’s impossible for a dead man to blackmail someone, wouldn’t you?’
He made no response, just stared; his eyes locked in shock to hers.
‘Which means it’s you that’s been blackmailing me, not him. You who broke into my house on Saturday night–’
She broke off. She’d got him, she could see it in his eyes, but she took no pleasure from the fact. Instead she felt a terrible sadness.
‘How could you do that, Keith? I thought we were friends.’
‘And blackmail and extortion are criminal offences.’ Nick’s voice broke in, his footsteps so silent that he made them both jump as he entered the room. ‘I’d have thought you had enough on your plate without adding a possible jail sentence to your problems.’
Keith swung round, then turned back to Grace. ‘You tricked me!’
‘I’m not the one in the wrong here.’
For one brief instant he had the grace to look ashamed, but like a wounded animal he turned on Nick. ‘You bastard, poking your nose in … what’s it got to do with you anyway?’
‘I called Nick last night, when you broke in. It was he who told me about the dental records.’
‘Well, some mother you are,’ he sneered. ‘You weren’t meant to tell anyone about this – just how much regard do you have for your daughter’s safety?’
‘Stop it!’ Grace was shocked at the change in him. She couldn’t believe this was the same man she’d chatted and laughed with … supported. ‘How could you have involved Ellie – threatened her like that? You of all people, with the problems you're having at the moment with your own children.’
He crumbled before their very eyes – his gaze faltering beneath the condemnation in hers as he sank into a chair and buried his head hopelessly in his hands. ‘God, I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to believe that – or understand – but I was desperate. What with losing Amanda and the kids – and I’m in debt – serious debt.’
He was silent for a long moment, and it was clear he was taking stock as the enormity of what he’d done sank in. He looked up, his expression defeated. ‘I lied to you when I said I didn’t know what Rory had been up to – I’d given him alibis on numerous occasions when the police were questioning him – and a couple of times,’ his eyes slid away from hers, ‘I even did stuff for him so that it would look like you were making it up when his alibi was genuine. I didn’t want to do it, but he made me. Reminded me that I owed him big time. Then when you were telling me what he’d put you through and how you couldn’t really believe he was dead, the idea came to me. All I could see was that it was a way out of my problems. I could clear a large part of my debt, get Amanda and the kids back and really try to make a new start. I would never have hurt you or Ellie, you know that. Once you’d given me the money that would have been the end of it, I swear.’
‘Until the next time,’ Grace said.
‘No.’ But he didn’t meet her look. ‘What are you going to do?’
He looked so broken that Grace had to drag her eyes away to stop herself from feeling sorry for him. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I do,’ Nick said. ‘We have no choice but to take it to the police. There’s a small matter of five thousand pounds for a start.’
‘For God’s sake, please don’t do that. You can have it back. It’s still in my bedside cabinet–’
‘Mummy … it’s us …’
Ellie and Will sauntered into the lounge and came to a halt at the sight of the three adults all positively glaring at them.
‘Is everything okay?’ Ellie asked.
She took a hasty step back as Keith suddenly jumped up and rushed past her.
‘Best be off,’ he mumbled. ‘I’ll see myself out.’
And he was gone, leaving Nick and Grace to exchange swift glances before they too offered hurried excuses that they’d be back, and flew off in his wake.
But by the time they got to the end of the drive, Keith was already revving up his engine. They watched as his car sped off in an erratic line.
‘What do you think we should do?’ Grace asked.
‘It’s up to you. You’d be well within your rights to prosecute.’
‘But what good will that do? It’ll just expose everything to Ellie, which is the last thing I want. I don’t think he’s likely to cause any more trouble, do you?’
‘I doubt it. I’d say he’s had a hell of a scare, but it’s a difficult one.’ He sighed. ‘Probably best to sleep on it – see how things look in the morning.’
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Keith let himself into his flat with shaky hands. Shit … shit … shit. He’d really fucked up. What if he ended up in jail?
He paced up and down the room. He’d only been trying to save his marriage, for God’s sake – but how had he ever thought he could get away with it? He felt sick at what he’d done. He must have been mad. Mad. He hadn’t wanted to do it – of course he hadn’t – but how else was he supposed to get enough money to convince Amanda that he was serious about dealing with his debt? It had seemed such a simple plan when it had first come to him. Grace obviously lived in fear of Rory and it should have worked a treat. It never occurred to him that she’d delve deeper into the identity of the body. And it wasn’t as if she couldn’t afford it, for Christ’s sake. Rory may have ended up a smack head but he couldn’t have got through all his father’s money.
And now he’d got nothing to show Amanda when she came.
Which jolted his memory. She’d be here in less than an hour. What was he going to say to her? Far from having the ten grand he’d hoped to put on to the table in front of her, he had only half that – and worse, was probably heading for a prison sentence.
Despair swamped him and just for a moment the image of the anti–depressants sitting in the bathroom cabinet floated into his mind. God, if only he had the balls it would solve all his problems. But there was no way he’d ever do anything like that.
He stopped dead in his tracks, his head jerking up as the stirrings of an idea came to him. He clung to the shadowy outline and slowly, a more coherent pattern began to emerge.
What if he could prove to everyone that he was severely depressed? So depressed, that it had forced him to act entirely out of character? Perhaps then they’d feel sorry for him and let him off. Perhaps Grace could even be persuaded not to press charges.
He took a breath, forcing himself to think it through calmly, and in a relatively short space of time, he’d worked it out. He went over the plan again and again in his head, fine tuning it until he was certain it would work. He didn’t want to risk really killing himself, after all. He’d take some tablets, leave a note and lie down on his bed, making sure of course that his key was left in the lock so that Amanda could let herself in. She’d think nothing of that – they’d always laughed at how he left keys in the door. Then, when she found him, she’d call the ambulance and they’d pump his stomach and everyone would put it down to his depression. Perhaps Amanda would even feel sorry for him and realise how much he loved her; give their marriage a second chance. And surely no jury would send him to jail in those circumstances? His pulse quickened. It could work. It really could. And what other options did he have?
At eight twenty exactly he took half a bottle of pills. It didn’t look much and when by eight forty he was still wide awake, he took the other half. He had to at least be asleep by the time she came. At eight forty-five he checked the front d
oor – the key was still in place. Eight fifty-five, and though he felt a bit disorientated and fuzzy in the head, he still didn’t feel particularly drowsy. She’d be here any minute. Quickly, he went to the bathroom cabinet and took out the second bottle, hesitating for only a moment before he downed half of that with the help of a glass of water. Within five minutes he began to feel the effects and took himself off to his bedroom. It was nine o’clock.
At five past nine, his neighbour from down the corridor tutted as she saw that once again Keith had left his keys in the lock. Would he never learn? She knocked smartly on his door several times and when there was no response, opened the door and stuck her head in, calling out his name. Still silence. He’d obviously gone out. Well, she could hardly leave the key in the lock. She tucked it in her bag and left a simple note in his letterbox saying that she had his key if he needed it.
At nine twenty, Amanda hurried along the corridor to Keith’s apartment. Robin had been late arriving to babysit and she’d been delayed getting away. She sighed as she reached Keith’s door. She hoped this wasn’t going to take too long or be too difficult.
There was no response to her first knock.
‘Keith?’ she called, knocking louder.
She saw the note sticking out of his letterbox and shook her head as she read it. That was so typical. For a moment she wondered who this Sally was and eyed the neighbouring doors curiously. There was no point her knocking on them all to retrieve it – Sally may quite understandably feel reluctant to hand over his key to the ex–wife. She settled herself down to wait.
Twenty minutes later she was pacing up and down the corridor. She tried his mobile but got no answer. Furiously, she scribbled a note to leave alongside the other one, and departed. They’d have words about this tomorrow… how dare he drag her all the way over here and not even bother to turn up?
‘Amanda? Hi, it’s Don here – from Keith’s office? I’m sorry to bother you but I wondered if you had any idea where Keith might be? He’s not been into work for the last couple of days and no-one’s been able to contact him.’
Amanda frowned. He hadn’t returned her call either. ‘I‘ve no idea,’ she said. ‘We were meant to meet up the night before last but he didn’t show. I left a message for him but things have been a bit strained between us recently, so I wasn’t particularly surprised when he didn’t call me back.’
Tom hesitated, and his concern was obvious. ‘I suppose he’s all right? I mean … he’s not been himself lately as you probably know, but it really isn’t like him to disappear from the face of the earth like this.’
Amanda was aware of a stirring of unease but she forced herself to stay calm. Of course he was all right. ‘I’m finishing work in half an hour,’ she said. ‘I’ll pop over to his flat and get the caretaker to let me in if he’s not there. That way I can leave a note for him to call you when he turns up. I’m sure he’s okay – he’s probably just feeling a bit low and not calling anyone back.’
They found him lying serenely on his back, hands in a relaxed position by his side with a note propped up against the pillow beside him – for once as Amanda later said emotionally to Robin, completely at peace with the world.
It was a horrible wet day and as Grace walked by Nick’s side up the cobbled path to the crematorium, she felt wretched.
‘You mustn’t blame yourself,’ Nick said, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.
‘I can’t help it – I just keep thinking of him being desperate enough to do something like that and wondering if the fact that we caught him out was what tipped him over the edge.’
‘Look, he’d been depressed and had lots of problems. You weren’t to know the extent of them – neither of us was. And you heard what Marianne said about the key – they reckon he never meant to kill himself, it was just a cry for help. He was expecting Amanda to walk in and find him.’
‘That makes it even worse – to think that he was in there dying, while she was sitting outside his door. She must feel awful.’
‘As must the neighbour, I’m sure. It’s a terrible business all round.’
The service was due to start at eleven – it was ten forty-five now and the crematorium was packed already. In the foyer they were greeted by Marianne and Amanda, and by Amanda’s side, her two children – looking rather lost and overwhelmed as they stared fearfully at the coffin still in the hearse outside the door.
At eleven o’clock the coffin was carried in. One of Keith’s friends delivered a very moving eulogy and then it seemed no time at all before the curtains were moving slowly around the coffin as it moved forward and the congregation stood up to sing The Lord’s My Shepherd.
Two hours later, at a nearby hotel, Grace was in the queue to say goodbye to Keith’s wife. In front of her, Keith’s mother leant forward and gave Amanda a hug.
‘This is a very difficult time for us all,’ she heard her say in subdued tones ‘but I hope we can stay in touch? There are still the children to consider – and they are our grandchildren.’
‘Of course we can,’ Amanda replied, her eyes over-bright. ‘I’m so sorry that things didn’t work out for Keith and myself.’
Her mother-in-law squeezed her hand gently. ‘I’ll call you.’
And then it was Marianne’s turn and Grace felt a warm glow as Marianne embraced her sister-in-law and in typical fashion, broached the matter head on. ‘You’re not to reproach yourself,’ she said, giving her a fierce hug. ‘Keith was depressed but he brought his problems on himself – you and I both know that. Much as I loved him, if I’d been his wife, I’d have made the same decisions as you.’
‘Thank you for not blaming me,’ Amanda said quietly. ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you did.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ Marianne drew back and shook her head with a wan smile. ‘Keith loved you and so do we – it’s as simple as that. He didn’t mean to kill himself – you and I both know that. It was a cry for help that went tragically wrong and that’s how I’ll always view it.’
And as Grace took her leave and passed on her own condolences, she was glad they’d kept silent about her and Nick’s part in the proceedings. They’d both agreed there was absolutely no point anyone knowing what Keith had done. It was all history now – and five thousand pounds seemed a small price to pay for the guilt she knew she’d never completely shake off.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Grace rifled through some papers on her desk looking for the letter she was responding to, but her mind wasn’t really on the job.
She had to do it – she couldn’t go on working with Nick, it was all getting too complicated and he still hadn’t completely forgiven her for not confiding in him – not trusting him as he saw it, over the Keith business.
‘You’re not responsible for my problems,’ she’d said firmly. ‘Ours isn’t that sort of relationship and that’s fine. I thought that’s what you wanted?’
But even as she’d uttered the words, she was aware of the emptiness of them. She’d come to realise that she’d like nothing more than to have Nick properly in her life – it would be hard when the day came for their relationship to end. But end it would – and she needed to prepare herself for that. She’d even toyed with the idea of finishing things herself sooner to save some of the anguish she knew it would bring, but she was too weak. She lived for the moments they had together. And on a physical level he took her to pleasures she’d never dreamt of before. Where was the sense in depriving herself of all that?
‘I’m off to an appointment,’ Paul said, materialising at her side. ‘How’s it going?’
‘I should be finished in about half an hour. I’ll leave the letters on your desk before I go.’
‘Great … you’re an angel.’
The moment he was gone, Nick was out of his office and pulling her up into his arms. ‘It’s been too long. When can I see you?’
Grace laughed. ‘It’s been two days.’
‘Yes, but not since we made love,’ he murmured, brush
ing her lips with his. ‘Damn kids get in the way of everything. I’m dying of frustration here.’
He tightened his hold, deepening his kiss, and when finally they came up for air he wasn’t the only one dying of frustration.
‘What about tomorrow?’ he whispered in her hair. ‘It’s the school dance. We’ll have the whole evening to ourselves. Come over to mine and I’ll cook you dinner.’
‘Sounds perfect,’ she murmured.
He drew her closer, teasing her lips with his and causing a ripple of need deep within her. ‘No dessert though,’ he murmured. We’ll save that for later.’
And somehow it didn’t seem to be the right time to tell him that she was giving in her notice.
‘What do you think?’
Ellie stood in the kitchen doorway and did a little twirl, and Grace swallowed a lump wondering if all mothers felt so ridiculously sentimental about their offspring’s first dance.
‘You look lovely,’ she said, turning a deliberate blind eye to the fact that the dress was definitely shorter than she’d have preferred. She’d helped Ellie with a touch of makeup and it had transformed her daughter from the slightly awkward, gauche young teenager she was, into a sophisticated and elegant young lady She’d been amazed by her own reflection.
‘Wow … I look completely different,’ she said in delighted tones. ‘I could pass for at least sixteen, don’t you think?’
‘Yes … but you’re not sixteen,’ her mother reminded her firmly. ‘And this is definitely a one-off.’
‘Thanks, Mum …’ She swooped on Grace, giving her a hug. ‘Oops … mind my hair!’
‘You look great,’ Nick said later after Grace had dropped Will and Ellie off at the school.
His eyes slid over the simple cream shift dress she wore, noting the way it moulded to her curves. ‘Very feminine,’ he murmured, pulling her into his arms and kissing her thoroughly.
He drew back with his slow smile. ‘Hope you’re hungry? Food’s nearly ready. Come through …’
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