“Then stop being such a mule and do something about it. You know what? You go right on ahead and call Grandpa.”
“You said not to.”
“I changed my mind. You’re going to become just like that grouch unless you make some drastic changes in your relationships. I love you, but you’ve really got to get over this stubborn self-isolation thing you’ve got going on.”
Heath groaned, but Nell was right. “I love you, too.” He promised to call her after he talked to their grandfather.
After hanging up, Heath scanned the buildings beyond the house and spotted Flint’s outline near the horse corral. The two hadn’t spent as much time together during Heath’s vacation as he originally thought they would, and the month was half over already. Heath jammed on his Stetson and headed toward his friend.
“You seen Josie around?”
Flint’s shoulders went rigid and he turned around slowly. “We’ve known each other a long time now, haven’t we?”
Heath froze. Was Flint angry? Frustrated? Flint’s tone sent off warning alarms in his mind.
Heath forced himself to relax. “That we have.”
“How long?” Flint folded his arms over his chest and speared him with a hard look.
Huh. Heath had seen that look before. Ten years ago at boot camp to be exact. Determination mixed with an equal measure of indignation. But now that look was honed in on him. Was this about Logan eating ice cream with the boys? Heath hadn’t even realized Flint’s son was there.
Just answer the man’s question. “Ten years, or thereabouts.”
“Ten years seems long enough to know someone.” Flint cocked his head. “To decide if someone’s trustworthy.”
Where was this coming from? The two men had watched each other’s backs during boot camp, during their time in Iraq. Heath trusted Flint more than anyone else in the world. To think his friend didn’t return that conviction...
Heath widened his stance. “You saying you don’t trust me?”
Flint shook his head once. “That’s not what I said at all. I’d trust you with my life. Have before.”
“Then what is this about?”
“Josie.”
Her name, the way Flint said it, felt like a punch to the gut. Heath’s mouth went dry. Muscles in his legs and arms tensed, ready to spring into action. “What happened? Is she okay?”
“Don’t know.” Flint slid his thumbs into his pockets and rocked forward on his boots. “I think that’s something I ought to be asking you.”
Heath couldn’t stand the idea of waiting for Flint to get on with the conversation. Evidently he wanted to confront Heath on something. So do it.
Heath rolled his shoulders. “Go ahead and spit out whatever wants to be said so bad it’s clawing its way out of you.”
Flint lowered his voice and stepped closer. “What are your intentions where Josie Markham is concerned?”
“You sound like her father.”
“Well, Josie’s father is dead.” Flint’s stare remained hard. “In fact, she’s got no blood family left. All she’s has is us on the ranch and those in the League. While I might not be family, someone’s got to watch out for her.”
Heath stepped an inch closer. He and Flint might have fought as soldiers together, but Heath had gone toe-to-toe with the roughest folks in Texas for the past ten years while Flint had hidden away at the boys ranch. Hold up. It was wrong of him to think such a mean-hearted thing about his best friend. Acting on momentary indignation never served him well. Flint wasn’t hiding at the ranch, he was devoting his life to something good. Something worthwhile. However, Heath wasn’t about to let Flint attempt to intimidate or talk down to him.
“Funny, considering I’m the one watching out for her.” Heath thumped his own chest. “That woman was struggling on her ranch and working herself to exhaustion and still would be if I wasn’t doing the chores over there.” He gestured off in the general direction of Josie’s ranch across town. “You were all letting her and her unborn child drive around in that death trap of a vehicle before I insisted on picking her up every day. She’s gone alone to every doctor’s appointment. None of you have bothered to go and sit with her there.” Heath took another step closer to his friend and dropped his voice low. “So don’t talk to me about you being there for her if it’s only going to be in word and not deed.”
Flint’s arms went slack beside him. “Maybe there’s more we all could have been doing to pitch in for her. Plenty I didn’t think about. She’s stubborn and doesn’t let anyone know when she needs help.” He took a deep breath. “But that’s beside the point.”
Heath backed off, giving them both some breathing room. “I’m struggling to see what the point even is.”
“Are you leaving at the end of the month?”
Heath took another step back. “If by leaving you mean going back to work, yes.”
“Exactly.” Flint grabbed a bucket off the ground, sending a puff of grain dust into the air, and started for the barn door, signaling the motion-detecting floodlights to turn on.
Heath captured Flint’s arm, jerking him to a stop. “Exactly, what? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’re leaving and you need to remember that.”
“I’m a bad person if I go back to work? That makes no sense whatsoever.” Even as he said it, Flint’s words rang true and echoed Nell’s. Of course Heath had to go back to work in December...but that had been an excuse to keep people at a distance, too.
Flint made a tsk sound with his tongue and shook his head in a slow, sad way. “For a man who has spent his life unraveling crimes, you sure have a hard time reading people.”
Heath’s throat went dry. He knew what Flint was getting at... Josie. Was Heath setting them both up for heartache? But it wasn’t like that. He was helping her because she was alone and he’d want someone to do the same for Nell. She was also the witness to a crime, be it a petty one that didn’t seem to amount to much danger, but still...
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Josie’s my friend. That’s it, Flint. She and I both know that.”
“Tell yourself that if it helps you sleep better.”
Enough. He didn’t want to fight with his best friend. Not anymore.
Heath let go of Flint’s arm. “Is she in the house? I’m supposed to drive her home.”
“Josie’s gone.” Flint rested his hand on the door handle, his back to Heath. “Macy Swanson—the tall blonde who reads stories out loud to the boys in the learning center—she drove her home after Josie saw your truck was gone.”
“I was going to come back.”
Flint glanced back at Heath over his shoulder. “Josie looked upset.”
No wonder Flint had launched into an argument with him.
An ache spread through Heath’s chest. He shoved the heel of his hand against the center of his rib cage. “She did?”
Flint turned to prop his shoulder against the doorjamb. “I saw her crying.”
If Heath was a man given to cursing, now would have been a time to use one, but he’d long ago given up that bad habit. Instead, he kicked at the ground.
After they had finished speaking with Gabe earlier, Heath had made an excuse to leave the ranch for the rest of the afternoon. All to avoid Josie—only for a few hours. He had taken a drive, got his head together before seeing her again, because he’d noticed the way she’d looked at him after Gabe mentioned Edmund Grayson.
Josie would ask.
Did she know how much her examination made him mentally squirm? He couldn’t stop wondering what she was thinking. No one had ever had that effect on him before, but Josie was a singular woman. Sharp and quick to figure something out, bold enough to ask questions, yet empathetic and kind when the answers were difficult.
The problem was Heath didn’t want to answer her questions. Not today. Not when he knew she’d ask about his grandfather. She would have prodded into why he hadn’t called the man yet. Josie had a way of making Heath crack wide-open with information.
Heath blew out a long puff of air. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“Since you’ve been my friend a long time, I’m going to level with you.”
It’s about time.
“If you have no intention of sticking around past November, then stay away from Josie. Plain and simple.” The bucket swung beside him. “The woman lost her husband this year, she’s pregnant, had to leave her home and her entire life has changed. She doesn’t need another setback.” Flint looked away, toward the ground. “Don’t...don’t lead her on.”
“Flint. I wouldn’t—”
“Don’t make her hurt.”
“That’s not my plan.” But then...what was his plan? Once he was back to living at his apartment, he couldn’t stop at her ranch every morning to take care of her. He wouldn’t get to kid with her over breakfast or encourage her while she shared her dreams about her ranch.
Flint’s nostrils flared. His knuckles went white around the bucket’s handle. “Listen. I know what it feels like to think you’re in a relationship. Think the other person cares about you. And then have them disappear as if you’re nothing more than dried dirt on their shoe.”
Realization popped in Heath’s mind. Of course Flint’s thoughts would automatically go to Logan’s mom and her betrayal. Her name was usually off-limits, but Heath saw no way around it.
“I’m not like Stacie. I wouldn’t do that. Making someone think, hope, and then leave...” Heath shook his head as words failed him. He envisioned the end of the month, driving away and never seeing Josie again. His heart sank into the toes of his boots.
But, he’d visit. They’d stay friends. Wouldn’t they?
“Abandoning someone.” Flint nodded slowly. “It’s the worst thing you can do to a person.”
“I’m sorry.” For what Logan’s mom’s did to you. Flint didn’t want to hear that.
Flint blinked a few times, almost as if he was refocusing. “Don’t be sorry. Be smart. You head back to your apartment and your career in two weeks and we’ll all stay here. What you’ve done to help Josie would be great if you were sticking around, but now you’ve simply given her something to lose again. So let her be between now and then. That’s the best thing you can do.”
“But what if...” Heath couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes.
“What if, what?” Flint set the bucket down by the barn door so he could use his hands to talk. “I know you. Being a Ranger is your life. That’s the most important thing and there isn’t room for much else.”
“But—”
“Oh, you may think you care about Josie now. She’s pretty and nice and depending on you. Any man would like that. But once December hits, you’ll get assigned a case and that’ll become your priority. Promises to visit will lag into months of getting pushed back until finally it’s summer and Josie hasn’t heard from you in six months.”
Heath tugged off his hat and then scrubbed his hand over his hair. “I’m not that bad.”
“You are. You forget people the second you don’t need them.”
Everything came to a screeching halt. Was Flint mad at Heath for not being a more present friend? Come to think of it, Heath hadn’t been there for Flint at all when Stacie left him. How many people had he failed without realizing it?
“I... Am I really like that?” Hadn’t Nell accused him of the same thing? Letting too much time pass between contacting her and not staying engaged in her life? Did Heath have any friendships that he kept up with? Sadly...no. He partially blamed his police work. There was so much about his job he couldn’t discuss outside of work. Heath had watched that put strains on a lot of the married Rangers’ relationships.
But it wasn’t all police related. Most of the blame fell squarely on his shoulders. Heath kept people at a distance—for their safety, of course. If he wasn’t so connected to them, then if the worst happened, they wouldn’t need to miss him or mourn him at some point.
None of his relationships would be like when Dad died. That had been his plan.
Nell had challenged him to let people choose if they were willing to take that risk. Heath didn’t know if he was capable of doing that, though.
“You don’t want to depend on others,” Flint said. “I get it. I think it’s what makes you so good at your job.”
Heath shoved his hand against the barn and hung his head. “But it makes me a bad candidate for being a friend or anything more in someone’s life.”
“Bingo.”
“Ouch.” He ran his hand down his face.
“Well.” Flint grabbed his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before letting go. “I’m still willing to be your friend.”
Heath nodded and stepped away from the barn. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. During everything.”
Flint shrugged. “It happens. I’m not losing sleep over it. Don’t you, either.”
His friend’s words tumbled around in his head as Heath took the long way back to town. Driving often helped him straighten out his thoughts. What Flint said made sense. He should stay away from Josie, but Heath didn’t know if he could. Even when she wasn’t nearby, he wondered how she was and where at the ranch she was and pictured her smile.
Flint was right about Heath being a bad friend, too, and he wanted to change that. But how could he if he was supposed to pull away from Josie? Wouldn’t that be making the same mistake again—the same behavior that had led to his hurting Nell and Flint?
What was he going to do?
The long drive didn’t help at all.
* * *
Heath ducked his head, hoping to avoid Gabe as the man strode purposefully toward the ranch house the next day. When he’d stopped off at Josie’s house in the morning like he usually did, she was nowhere to be found, and she hadn’t answered her phone, either. Heath had gone so far as to send a text message, not something he was given to doing seeing as he had very few people in his life to text with. Still no answer.
If something was wrong, if she was sick or had an emergency or there was something the matter with the baby, she would have called him. Of course she would have.
Still, Heath walked a little faster.
Despite Flint’s warnings, Heath needed to find Josie and apologize for leaving her stranded yesterday. As long as he dodged Gabe, he could duck into the calf barn and catch a moment with her before she went into the big house to help with the housework for the day.
“A minute of your time, Ranger?”
Too late.
Gabe spotted him and motioned him forward.
“Of course.” Heath trailed Gabe to a rough picnic table situated under one of the large trees by the ranch house. “What’s on your mind?” Not that he needed to ask...
“Were you able to get ahold of your grandfather?”
No surprise there.
Heath exhaled and looked up to examine the way the branches on the tree wove into one another—like they existed to support each other and if some of them weren’t there, the whole tree would start to die.
“Yesterday wasn’t a good day for me to do that, but I’ll have an answer for you by the end of the week.” Three days to work up the nerve to make the call. Less than a week until the anniversary of Dad’s murder. Last night he’d crossed off the last name on Josie’s list of people who had worked at the ranch fifteen years ago. All dead ends. No new answers...only more confusion.
“There’s something more.” Gabe leaned against the edge of the tabletop and crossed his arms. “I hear you have some reservations about the boys here.”
Heath snapped his gaze back to
Gabe. “Josie told you?”
“She didn’t have to.” Gabe’s face remained unreadable. If he ever got tired of ranching, the man would make a top-rate investigator. “But word gets around in a tight-knit place like this.”
“It appears so.” Heath rubbed the back of his fingers under his chin, then straightened his spine. “Whatever you heard, know that I think you all are doing a great thing here for these boys.”
Gabe adjusted his arms a little. He had the build of a man who might best Heath in a takedown if he was a criminal. Good thing Gabe was about as noble as a person could be. Honest and hardworking, the man ran one of the most successful ranches in the area and spent all his free time volunteering. Heath admired the man for everything he was doing to help others.
“You think the boys here are all bad news, though, don’t you?”
“I guess you could say that.” Heath tried to choose his words carefully. “Normal kids are home with their parents. You get sent to a place like this because you’re having issues or are too much trouble for your family to handle. That’s a fact, and I’m the type who works in facts.”
“You’re not wrong about what starts the process of them being here. However, I find it hard to believe that you still consider these boys capable of putting one of our therapy horses at risk, endangering Josie’s beloved calves or stealing from the staff that they care about.”
True. After spending almost two weeks getting to know the boys in his detection class, Heath found it impossible to suspect any of them. Even Stephen—especially Stephen.
But the training that came with so many years in law enforcement told him there was always a chance. “I believe anything—often the most unlikely—is possible. I have to.”
“Do you think these boys will leave here and go back to their troublemaking ways? That they’re destined to be bad eggs, or however you want to phrase it?”
“Not all, but some will.”
“So lasting change isn’t real? It’s not something we can actually accomplish?”
Heath bit back a groan. He didn’t want to get into this discussion with Gabe. Not when he wasn’t sure what he believed anymore. “I know that bothers you to hear, but I’m a realist. I don’t think a person can do what I do and see what I’ve seen and not be.”
The Ranger's Texas Proposal Page 9