“Well, if that’s the case.” Stephen’s face lit with a conspiratorial grin. “Want to help me get some hay down from the loft in the big barn? Flint asked me to do it an hour ago and he’s going to come searching for me soon if I don’t have that done before the next time he looks.”
Heath laughed. “Oh, I see how it is.” He turned to join Stephen but froze when he spotted Josie. She was leaning in the doorway. With her red hair braided and wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, she was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on. Every cell in his body told him to go over and hug her—at least apologize and make things right between them. But she might not appreciate having that talk in front of Stephen.
How much had she overheard?
She looked at Heath. “Will you come back here when you’re done?”
Always. I’ll always come back to you. For as long as you’ll let me.
Where had that come from?
“Yes, ma’am.” He tipped his hat. They had so much to say to each other, but none of it needed to be said in front of Stephen.
The teen slapped Heath on the back. “I’ll send him back with hay for your calves, Ms. Josie.”
She waved them out.
They headed toward the barn and climbed up into the loft. Heath scaled the huge pyramid of hay bales and passed the rectangles one by one to Stephen, who tossed them through the hole in the loft down into the main section of the barn.
Stephen moved, making the loft’s floorboards groan. “You know, since I started your class, I notice things all the time. A lot more than I even realized there was to notice.” Breathing heavy, he pointed at the tower of hay. “We probably only need one more.”
Heath hefted the last bale toward Stephen. “And it’s hard to turn your mind off once it starts.”
“That’s so true,” Stephen grunted and tossed the bale down through the hole. “Like right now.” He dusted off his hands. “This floor. The noise it makes.” He stomped across the loft. “It’s so different than the barn loft at the old ranch.”
Heath stepped down from the hay, his legs suddenly wobbly. “How so?”
“That old one sounded...” Stephen screwed up his face. “I don’t know...almost hollow.”
“Hollow?” Heath’s heartbeat sounded in his ears.
“Like there was space in between the levels.” Stephen headed toward the ladder so he could climb down to the main level. “I’m probably wrong.”
Heath licked his lips. Dare he hope? “Which barn, now, are you talking about?”
“The main one back at the old ranch.”
The one where Dad was murdered.
Chapter Nine
Josie prepared bottles for the calves and called over a few of the boys to move them out into the small pasture and take turns giving each calf a bottle. The boys were ecstatic—they always begged for the opportunity to do the bottle-feeding. By the time Heath strolled in with a bale of hay propped on his shoulder, Josie was alone again.
“Are they old enough to eat this stuff yet?” Heath swung down the bale and set it beside the cabinet where she stored the other food items.
She smiled and shook her head good-naturedly. Sure, Heath had told her he’d spent time on his uncle’s ranch, but the man definitely had more city in him than country when it came to animal knowledge.
“We start them on hay at four days old. But they’re mostly still on the bottle. If you must know, I end up sneaking most of it over to the goats.” She pointed in the direction of the goat enclosure. “They’re so cute and I’ve always wanted one. It’s impossible to pass up their sweet little cries, so I feed them.”
Heath tilted his head, wearing a soft smile. “You’ve always wanted a goat?”
“Or two.” Josie laughed lightly. “I can’t justify spending money to buy one now, but they’re on the dream list for my ranch. Someday.”
They stood for a moment, staring at each other. The man in front of her looked so capable, handsome and strong. She fought the powerful urge she felt to melt against him and beg him to change her mind about falling for a lawman.
What should she say? Why did you leave yesterday without saying anything? Do you care about me? If not, why do you act like you do? Will you leave me...us...and never look back? Can I trust you?
Heath cleared his throat. “I’m real sorry about leaving you stranded yesterday. That wasn’t my intention. I was going to come back for you, but I should have told you that.”
“Why’d you go?”
“To clear my head.”
Of what? Of her? Of the ranch? “Did it work?”
A slight grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “Does it ever?”
Josie propped her hands on her sides. “I overheard what you said to Stephen.”
He adjusted his hat. “All of it?”
“Most,” she admitted. Okay, all. She happened to step through the doorway right as Heath began questioning the boy about the calf incident. “It was sweet of you to say you’d mentor him after November, but will you be able to do that?”
Say you love it here. Say you’re moving. Say you’ll stay.
“I don’t live all that far. When assignments don’t take me away, I could swing by here in the evening if I wanted to.” He propped his hand on the side of his belt.
“Stephen’s scheduled to go home in December. He won’t be here at the ranch any longer.”
“Right.” Heath scratched the back of his neck. “Cell phones and computers are wonderful inventions, as well.”
“True, but they don’t replace face-to-face interaction.”
“I agree.” He stepped closer. His voice was somewhere between a whisper and a breath. “Josie?”
Only her name—but the way he said it made her want to believe anything was possible.
She looked away. “You haven’t told me much about your family. Will you?”
He stepped back and leaned against the wall. “What would you like to know?”
“Everything.”
“You know more than most people already. I told you about my father. About my mother remarrying. You know about Nell and my niece. And you heard me tell Stephen about my stepfather.”
Josie’s heart twisted for the teenage boy who had lost his entire family in such a short time—his father in the line of duty and then his mother and sister because his mom chose his stepdad. Heath must have felt such anger toward the man. Suffered the slice of betrayal from his mother’s actions. Known loneliness after being separated from his younger sister. All while mourning his hero. At least he and Nell had mended their fence.
“I can’t believe your mother allowed him to kick you out.” She laid her hand on his arm. The muscles under her touch were so solid and firm, much like the man, but she wanted to get past that to find out what drove him. “It wasn’t fair of him to make that ultimatum.”
He sighed. “She was still in mourning, too. My mom, she’s not a strong woman—she’s not like you. She’d never worked a day in her life and when my father died, she latched on to the first available man she could find. For security. Just to have someone to pay the bills and take care of her...at least that’s how I saw it go down. I’m sure she figured she was doing it for us kids’ sake, too. For me and Nell to have a father figure. It just didn’t work out that way.” He looked off to the side.
Josie squeezed his arm. “You’re a good man, Heath. You’ve been through so much and were treated poorly by people who should have loved you and yet you’re still so honorable. I don’t know how you do it.”
He looked down at her hand on his arm and exhaled. “Because of all that happened with my family, I don’t...I don’t know how to show people I care. A man my age should be able to do that. I’m starting to wonder if perhaps I’m not all that honorable after all.”
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br /> She slid her hand down his arm to take his hand. “Hey, don’t say that.”
He wrapped his fingers over hers, clinging as if she was a lifeline. “What if everything I’ve done has been to prove my own worth? To prove that my dad would be proud of me and that my mom should have kept me? What if my drive has been wrong all along? Do you think that discounts everything I’ve done?”
She placed her other hand around their joined ones. “You’re a good man. Do you hear me? Is that sinking in? I’ll keep saying it if you need me to. I think you might be the best man I’ve ever known.”
His deep brown eyes captured hers as he searched her face. A hundred questions creased his brow. “I want to know you. Really know you. Tell me about your family, too.”
Josie traced her thumb over his knuckles. “I’m an only child. My mother passed away when I was eleven. Brain tumor.”
“I’m sorry,” Heath whispered. He gently tugged her closer so they were sharing air as they spoke. The scent of fresh pine soap and hay dust enveloped her. If only he’d wrap his arms around her. She missed the feeling of being held more than she realized.
Josie took a deep breath, continuing, “Dale and I met my freshman year of high school. We never even officially dated—we met and he became my world. I was very young. I didn’t know what I was looking for.”
I should have been searching for you.
“My father was a truck driver, all over the country. He was gone a lot. I was lonely.” She stopped tracing Heath’s knuckles and let her hand rest on top of his. “Dale proposed the day after my eighteenth birthday. That same year my father’s truck hit an icy patch in Colorado. His eighteen-wheeler went off the edge of the road into a ravine. They assured me he didn’t feel any pain at the end.”
With hesitation, Heath cupped his free hand around her shoulder blade. A fierce protective look crossed his face. Almost as if he never wanted to let go.
“You’re all alone now, then, aren’t you?”
“In a sense.” She dipped her head. “But I’m not alone. Not really.” Feeling bold because of their proximity, Josie tipped her face to his and whispered, “I’m not alone right now.”
He sucked in a ragged breath. His gaze moved from her eyes to her mouth, asking a question she didn’t know how to answer.
She bit her lip. Change the subject. Before they both wound up doing something they’d regret. “Why won’t you call your grandfather?”
Heath dropped her hand and turned, slipping around her from where he had been cornered between her and the wall. He yanked off his hat and tossed it on top of the feed cabinet, which made his hair stick up in adorable angles. He wrapped his hand over the back of his head. “When my mother remarried, we lost all connection to him, and when Nell and I tried to contact him later on, he hung up on us. I’m not so sure he wants to hear from me now.”
“But you’re going to try?”
“I promised I would, so I’ll keep my word.” He snatched his hat back up and worked it around and around in his hands. “Well, if you don’t need me anymore, I better head out. There’s something I need to go take a look at.”
“Thanks for the hay,” she called lamely as he left. The whole time holding back the words that desperately wanted to cross her lips.
I need you, Heath Grayson. Wait. I’ll always need you.
* * *
Heath was afraid his heart was going to pound its way right through his rib cage.
Calm down. Treat this like any other case.
Impossible.
He turned his truck down the driveway that led to the area across town where the boys ranch had been located before Cyrus Culpepper left the Lone Star Cowboy League all his land. Heath knew this area of the old boys ranch well. He’d combed over it a handful of times during his friendship with Flint. Never in an official capacity before, because he’d only recently obtained clearance from his boss to investigate his father’s cold case, but that hadn’t stopped him from poking around. After all, it wasn’t against the law for him to stumble upon clues off duty.
What had he missed?
Probably nothing. No doubt he was chasing the wind, but after Stephen’s observation, he had to come back to check the barn.
What if...?
Heath had wanted to head to the old location right away, but talking with Josie had been more important. Before today, the crime scene sat for fifteen years—another half hour wasn’t going to hurt it.
But a few more seconds with Josie? Oh, that would have changed everything. Heath groaned. He would have kissed her. Would Josie have responded favorably? She’d tilted her face up to his, as if to grant permission. He crammed his hat on. Focus. Right now he couldn’t process all that. Not when he might finally have a lead after fifteen years of unanswered questions. He slammed the gear shift into Park and was out of his truck a second later, tearing his way toward the large barn. Flint had lent him the keys to the buildings, so getting through the locks wouldn’t be a problem. He fished the ring of keys from his pocket.
For a minute he froze outside the side door. From the photos and case files back in his room at the inn, Heath knew he was standing exactly where his father had been murdered. They had found his body right here. No murder weapon. No reason for the killing.
Just gone.
The anniversary of his death was only four days away.
You might be the best man I’ve ever met.
“That’s because you didn’t know my father.” Heath cupped his hand over his jaw. “He was the greatest man I’ve ever known.” He squatted and pushed his fingertips into the hard ground. He blinked against a burning in his eyes.
Being at this location had never affected him in this way. Maybe Heath was going soft. Everything—the boys at the ranch, his family, realizing what a junk friend he’d been to Flint, and Josie, especially Josie—was making his chest sore from aching with emotions he’d never wanted to sort through before. From longing for a life he didn’t know if he had the right to want.
He pressed his palm into the earth. “What did they do to you? Why did they do it?” But verbalizing questions wouldn’t assist his investigation. His earthly dad was long past the point of being able to help him, but God—another Father—might be willing to help him, if only he’d ask.
Heath’s knees hit the ground and he bowed his head. “God, I’ve left You out of all of this—haven’t I? For the past fifteen years, I’ve set up cones around my dad’s murder and told You to keep out. I wanted to hang on to that hurt. That’s all I knew. It defined me.”
He took a rattling breath. Might as well admit it all; God knew anyway. “And I’ve made every choice in my life to date because of it instead of seeking Your guidance. Forgive me, Lord. I’ve been so boorish. I’ve walked around saying I care about protecting people, when all I’ve done is make choices to protect myself—my heart. Because of that, I’ve been a terrible witness for You. Haven’t I? I’ve claimed Your name, claimed to follow You since I was a teen, but it was mostly in word and not deed. Exactly what I accused Flint and the League of doing in Josie’s life. Well, no longer.”
No one was around to see, so Heath tipped back his head and spread his arms as if he was opening them up to God. “I am Yours.” He slowly rose to his feet. “My life is Yours. Guide my hands in this investigation. If there is justice, let it be because of You. I’m handing over my desire for vengeance to You. Heal me, Father. Please... I don’t want to just exist anymore. I want to know a joy that comes from You. I want to live in a way that pleases You. In the name of Christ, I pray all these things.” He opened his eyes and whispered, “Amen.”
* * *
“Over here. This barn.” Heath waved at Finn Brannigan, another Texas Ranger from Company F. On duty, Finn wore the normal Texas Ranger uniform—khaki pants, boots, a white button-down and his white Stetson.
The gun on his hip glinted in the late-afternoon light.
Heath was surprised Finn answered the phone when he had called an hour ago. The man had recently gotten married and had taken an extended honeymoon, but apparently he was back to work now.
“Thanks for coming out so quickly.” Heath extended his hand for a handshake. “How’s married life?”
“If you get the opportunity, I highly recommend it.” Finn pumped his hand once. “Amelia reminded me to thank you again for the wedding presents. She’s planning to display both of them year-round.”
Once Heath heard Amelia loved and collected Christmas decorations, he had enlisted his sister to pick out a wedding gift for them. Nell had tracked down a special Texas star for the top of their tree as well as an ornament in the shape of a pug in honor of Amelia’s dog—Bug—who had played a role in bringing the couple together. Heath had felt cheesy giving the decorations to Finn and his bride, but the thoughtful gifts had struck a chord with Amelia. So far she’d thanked him three times in person, once in a thank-you card and had Finn thank him whenever their paths crossed.
“Come on in.” Heath held open the barn door. “Let me show you what I found.”
“What type of drugs?” Finn specialized in undercover drug work, which was why Heath had called him. As much as Heath wanted to take the lead on his father’s investigation, with what he’d uncovered in the barn, Finn was the better-trained man for the job. The best option was to let go of his desire to run the case and allow Finn to take over.
“Once I found them, I wasn’t going to touch anything without another officer here. I didn’t exactly bring evidence gloves and bags on my vacation. Let me show you.” Heath climbed into the loft and walked to the far end until the sound the floorboards made changed. Slightly dull and hollow, just like Stephen had pointed out.
Finn’s boots clomped behind him. “False floor?”
Heath nodded. “I don’t know how it got missed in the original investigation.” Then again, Heath had missed it the dozen times he’d scoped out that barn, as well.
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