by Mary Martel
“You fucking dick,” Tyson snarled. “That’s Ariel’s mother you’re talking about. Show some fucking respect.”
“And that’s another thing. Ariel, Ariel, Ariel. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about this stupid girl. We’ve been at each other’s throats since that fucking dream, since Quint got a good look at her sweet ass back in June. I was all for keeping her back in June when we had the dream and knew she had magic, but now we’re killing people and fighting with each other. We’re supposed to fight for each other, together. Not fight against each other, and we’re certainly not supposed to kill anyone.”
“Else,” Quinton barked.
“What?” Several voices said at once.
“You meant to say ‘we’re certainly not supposed to kill anyone else.’”
The air froze in my lungs and my heart skipped a beat. How many other people had they killed?
A hand, burning with heat, landed on my bare back and I let out a small scream and jerked away from it.
Everyone stopped arguing, stopped moving, stopped everything to watch me.
Abel, who had been the one to touch me, wrapped his arms around me from behind in a hug and pulled my body backwards across the table. My bare bottom slid across the smooth, wooden surface of the table until my back was to his front. He rested his head on top of mine, not seeming bothered by my wet hair, or my partial nudity. My legs were out straight in front of me on the table with my feet dangling off the other side.
The room was frozen as all eyes watched me in Abel’s arms.
This time I felt the tears as they slid down my cheeks and I knew I was crying again. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that I could tell this time that I was crying. I was starting to feel things again.
Julian cleared his throat and, without taking his eyes off of me wrapped up in Abel’s arms, told the room, “I have a solution for getting rid of the body. All this dirt, I say we start digging.”
Oh god.
He was talking about burying my mother in their basement. I made a rude noise in the back of my throat and swallowed down the bile threatening to rise. I could not afford to be sick right now.
“You can’t be serious,” someone said and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to risk seeing her on the dirt floor again with her crotch on display for all to see and looking exactly what Dash had accused her of looking like.
“I’m all for dumping her somewhere,” Dash semi repeated his first statement.
“I don’t want Ariel to be put through hell when the body is found,” Tyson said quietly.
“Agreed.” Quinton quickly put in. “I say we bury her.”
“You would, seeing as you’re the one who killed her,” Addison said snidely.
“It was an accident,” Quinton growled.
“I’m good with burying her,” Damien spoke softly.
“So am I,” Abel rumbled from behind me. “Twin?”
“Fine,” Addison agreed reluctantly.
“I’m in,” Tyson said.
“It was my suggestion,” Julian told them.
“One I backed,” this from Quinton.
Dash sighed heavily before saying, “Fine. We bury her.”
And, just like that, they agreed to bury my mother’s body in their weird basement room with a dirt floor.
They didn’t even bother to ask for my opinion, or ask me if I was okay with it.
I wasn’t.
Not at all.
Chapter Twenty-nine
It was Quinton who brought me clothes while Julian and Tyson began to dig a hole in front of the brick wall. I was surprised when Quinton dropped a small pile of my own clothes in my lap.
Before I could utter a thank you, he leaned in and kissed me gently on the forehead. Then he turned to Abel and ordered coldly, “Get her dressed.”
I’d stopped crying again. It was as if a switch had been flipped off inside of me and I was left empty again. I knew, soon enough, the switch would be flipped again and I’d feel something I was better off not feeling. There was nothing I could do to stop it.
Abel helped me to my feet and I stood on shaking legs. I let the towel drop to my feet, not caring that I now stood there naked. Addison moved to stand beside his brother. They stood shoulder to shoulder, like a muscular wall before me, blocking me from view of the others. They might have had the decency of blocking me from the others but that didn’t mean they didn’t take the opportunity to eyeball my body. Because they did. Thoroughly.
I didn’t have it in me to care. I stood still and let them look their fill, not even bothering to try and cover myself.
They both sighed heavily at the same exact time, making the same exact sound.
“You’re too thin, Ariel.” Addison said when he looked me in the eyes again.
“I didn’t notice it until now, but my twin is right. You’re too thin. You don’t notice it until you take your clothes off,” Abel agreed with his brother.
Okay, so maybe they had been checking out my body for reasons other than one’s I’d thought.
“I imagine,” Quinton said from directly behind me, “our Ariel has not had the easiest of lives. Which would likely explain why she’s underweight. Give her time and a healthy environment and she’ll get where she needs to be. Now,” his chest brushed my back as he stepped into me, “let’s get you dressed, baby. I sent Dash and Damien back over to your place to clean up the bathroom. I know you’re uncomfortable around them and have been ever since you spied on us in the kitchen. You might want to have your clothes on before they get back. Then again, maybe not. The view’s great and it might go a long way towards bringing them over to your side.”
His rough, calloused hands traveled lightly down my sides leaving a trail of fire in their wake. My breath caught in my throat at the unexpected touch and I couldn’t help the shiver that ran through my body. My nipples hardened and the twins both made low noises in the back of their throats at the view.
How embarrassing.
Quinton’s hands stopped at my hips. He simply stopped moving and held perfectly still save for his chest. His chest I felt rising and falling from behind me. He buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply.
“Please, please, get dressed, Ariel.” He groaned. “Now is not the time for any of us to be fighting our dicks getting hard.”
“Because you accidently killed my mother, or because you’re about to bury her in your basement?” I asked softly.
“It was an accident,” he said, his voice as softly as mine had been. “I would never do anything to intentionally cause you pain, but I told you I’d take care of you in whatever way I saw fit and you wouldn’t always like it. This goes hand in hand with that.”
“I know it was an accident,” I assured him. The rest I was avoiding.
“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered. “I couldn’t bear it if you hated me. I’ve been waiting for you for longer than you can imagine.”
I didn’t know what he meant by that, so I said the only thing I could. I told him the truth.
“I don’t hate you,” I said. “To hate someone, you have to feel something, and right now, I don’t feel anything.”
He let me go abruptly and stepped back. His hands fell away from my hips, leaving me feeling oddly bereft.
“Get dressed,” he ordered me in a husky voice. “We’ll talk more about this later when it’s not so fresh and it’s just you and me.”
That didn’t sound like such a good idea. The talking part. I didn’t much care for him when he opened his mouth. And I didn’t much care for how much I liked it when he touched me and how empty I felt when he let me go. I also didn’t think there should ever come a time when it was just him and me.
Addison held up a black t-shirt for my inspection. Across the chest there was a white skull wearing an eye patch over its left eye and a pirate hat on top. It could have been a black garbage bag for all I cared, so long as it covered me up it was fine by me. Addison put it over my head as I shoved my
Abel knelt in the dirt in front of me with a pair of red, lacy panties in his hands. He picked up one foot and slipped it through a leg hole. He did the same with the next foot. Then he slid them slowly up my legs. When he had them in place snuggly on my hips, he ran the backs of his knuckles down my thighs in a soothing caress.
“I forgot shoes,” Quinton said.
I looked up and found he’d moved to stand beside Addison. He trailed Abel’s movements with his eyes, a thoughtful expression on his face.
He’d forgotten more than shoes. There was no bra either.
Addison handed his brother a pair of black short-shorts and Abel slid those up my legs as well.
“Hole’s done,” Julian yelled at us.
Abel gained his feet and grabbed ahold of my hand. He twined our fingers together and squeezed. Addison moved in on the other side and mimicked his twin’s actions.
Quinton moved up in front of me. He cupped my jaws in his rough, calloused hands, and asked, “Do you love her?”
I flinched and tried to pull my face out of his hands. He didn’t let me go. I had a feeling, a thought that drifted through my head, whispering how this did not bode well for my future and that scared me.
“Answer me,” he whispered softly. This was a question I did not want to think about, nor did I want to think about the answer to the question. I was in denial about so many things already, did I want another one brought up to the surface to be examined by others? I did not think so. But, mostly, I didn’t want to take a closer look at the answer myself.
“You don’t, do you? It’s okay if you don’t. She was a monster and monsters are hard to love. This I know as fact. No one is going to judge you, babe, not here. But I want an honest answer.”
“Why do you care, Quint?” I whispered. “What does it matter whether or not I love her? She’s dead. Dead people don’t care about things like love. So why do you care? And what the hell do you know about loving monsters?”
The grip on my jaw tightened as he pulled my face so close it was mere inches away from his own. “My father was a far bigger monster than your mother ever dreamed of being. He did things, unimaginable things, unspeakable things, and some of them he did to me.” He let go of one side of my face to run the pad of his thumb across my chest, above my collar bone and over my scars. He’d noticed them and he thought he was making a point, but he didn’t know he was making the wrong one. He’d made assumptions and he’d been wrong. “Answer me, Ariel. Do you love her?”
I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then I reopened my eyes. I looked deep into those dark, dark eyes and I told him the absolute truth. Even though I think it killed a small piece of my soul to admit the truth out loud.
“No,” I said quietly, but clearly so he wouldn’t miss a single word. “I don’t love her. Any love I had for her died a slow death over year after year of being her one and only whipping boy. You’ve mistaken my tears and my upset for caring and you are very wrong. I’ve never seen someone die before, Quint. And that someone being my only living relative makes it worse. I’m upset because she beat on me and tried to kill me simply because she was crazy and could. I cried because with her dead, I’ll never, not ever, know the love of a mother. And I cried because I didn’t care that she was dead and I felt like I should care. I know that if I died she wouldn’t have cared unless she got something out of my death besides simply being rid of me. The last thing I want in this whole world is to be like the thing I hate the most in it. Is that a good enough answer for you?”
Both Julian and Tyson had moved closer while I was talking. They stood directly behind Quinton and they both wore worried expressions on their faces. They were worried because of me, I knew it. I’d overshared in trying to get my point across. Apparently, listening to me was more important than dumping my mother’s body in the grave they’d dug for her.
“Yeah, baby,” Quinton said, drawing my attention back to him and away from his two shadows. “That answer is good for me. I hate it, but I thank you for being honest with me all the same. Now, I have another question for you.”
I hated him, and I hated his stupid questions.
“Do you really want to be here when we throw dirt on her?”
I blinked.
He’d surprised me. I thought he’d ask me another deep, meaningful question.
I thought about what he’d asked of me. Did I really need to be here for this? Did it matter? Did I want to be here for this? No. No, I absolutely did not want to stand aside and watch my mother’s body being tossed into a dirt hole and then covered in said dirt. But, I was going to be here for it because I didn’t want to be a coward who hid from all the unpleasant things in my life. That was no way to live my life, I wanted to be stronger than that.
“No, I don’t want a front row seat to this shit show. I’d be insane if I did. But I’m going to sit through it anyway.”
Quinton stared me down. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to intimidate me or see into the depths of my soul. Either way I didn’t back down. I held my ground and he was the first to look away. Score one for me.
A muscle in his jaw ticked as he nodded his head. “Alright,” he muttered, “have it your way.”
I wanted to laugh at him. If I had things my way I never would have set foot in this damn room. I never would have ditched school and came home early. This wasn’t about what I wanted and never had been. I had wanted to call the police and they’d refused me, now they were digging holes and burying bodies. This was about not being a coward and seeing things through to the end. Right and wrong had ceased to matter when her head had collided with the corner of the countertop in my bathroom. I had gone along with their brand of crazy, now I’d see this thing through to the end.
In a show of support, both Addison and Abel squeezed my hands gently. I was glad they hadn’t backed off when Quinton got in my face. He was too intense for me and he made me feel things I was uncomfortable feeling. Even if the timing had been better I still would have been uncomfortable with him.
Quinton moved away from me, following Tyson and Julian to their freshly dug hole. Addison and Abel dragged me across the dirt until we stood opposite of the other three, with only the grave between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Damien and Dash enter the room. They moved on silent feet across the dirt to stand beside a twin each.
I stood unmoving as I stared down into the dark depths of the dirt grave and I felt nothing but emptiness inside. I watched silently as Quinton picked up my mother’s body and unceremoniously tossed her into the dirt hole. She hit bottom with a thud and that’s what did it for me. That’s what broke me.
Jerkily, I wrenched my hands out of Addison and Abel’s and stumbled backwards until my back hit the brick wall.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, unsure of who I was speaking to. Was I apologizing to my dead mother, or to the guys for not being able to handle the situation?
I turned on my bare feet and ran, fleeing the strange room.
They let me go.
The sound of dirt being shoveled back into the hole followed me all the way home.
I didn’t start dry heaving until I made it to the safety of my bedroom. I forced myself to choke down the bile that threatened to come out because there was no way in hell I could go into the bathroom to vomit. I’d probably never be able to go in there again.
Chapter Thirty
I took a seat on my window seat, surrounded by bright, girly pillows and flicked my wrist casually. My bedroom door slammed shut, making me cringe. I’d done well for a beginner, but I really needed to work on it; I had wanted the door to shut without making noise. I got one but not the other. Progress.
Only days ago, I would have jumped for joy at the progress I had made. Today, not so much.
This was a dark day. For me and Mr. Cole. No, not Mr. Cole, but Marcus. He’d insisted I call him by his first name when he got home. With my mother dead, I had no reason not to honor his request. Add that to the fact his brother had died and I couldn’t not give him what he’d wanted. We’d both lost family even though I was the only one aware of it. I felt his pain like a physical thing and it hurt me just to look at him. I imagined he saw something similar on my face, but he was way off on the why.
My mother was dead and Mr. Cole thought she’d gone and left us both willingly for something else, or, likely, someone else. He didn’t seem too broken up about it. In fact, he didn’t seem to care that she was gone at all. Such was his grief over the death of his brother that he didn’t seem to mind that I’d supposedly been left behind with him, for him to take care of.
He told me we’d deal with her absence after he put his brother in the ground. I’d left it at that. The pain in his eyes when he talked about his brother hurt simply to look at, I did not want to make it worse.
I wanted to ask him questions about my future though because I was worried. With my mother gone he had no real obligation to take care of me. He could send me away tomorrow and there was nothing I could do about it.
Another part of me simply didn’t care. I was numb inside and out and quite possibly in shock. Who cared about tomorrow when I felt next to nothing today?
The guys had tried to see me, tried to talk to me. They’d called, texted, and even showed up at the house. Apparently, Tyson had given out my phone number to the rest of them and all but Damien and Dash had made use of it. Even though I did not talk to any of them I was still a little hurt that those two hadn’t even sent a text to ask if I was okay. It was stupid because I knew they didn’t really like me, but that didn’t take the sting out of them making it blatantly obvious. I knew my silence upset Tyson and the twins the most because we had become friends and they didn’t understand why I had shut them out. Quinton kept texting me because he was worried I now hated him. I didn’t hate him. I hated myself because I didn’t care that she was dead. After almost throwing up the one time, I realized I’d only gotten sick because the dead body had freaked me out, as well as what we were doing with it. I didn’t care that it had been my mother’s body. I was afraid to see Quinton because I didn’t know how I’d feel about him or myself when I did. What if I saw him and it made me feel something other than nothing about my mother being dead? I couldn’t be around him for a while.
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