“It’s the same with Will,” Evie said. “He was asleep in two seconds. That wassail recipe is very potent.”
Eliza grinned. “Isn’t it, just? It’s been putting Greenleaf men to sleep after holiday parties for years.”
Georgie was too tired to waste words. “Then why are you both here?”
“We wanted to talk with you,” Eliza said. “Why don’t we all tuck up in bed and have a nice chat?”
Georgie had a bad feeling about what might be coming, but the two women wore very determined expressions. Sighing, she climbed into bed. Eliza got in on the other side, while Evie perched on top of the covers, tailor-style.
“Now we’re as cozy as church mice,” Eliza said. “Isn’t this fun?”
“It’s almost two o’clock in the morning,” Georgie said. “Please cut line and tell me what’s going on.”
Eliza shrugged. “Very well. We were wondering if you and Fergus had a fight, since you both seemed upset when you came back into the ballroom. And then you avoided each other for the rest of the evening.”
Evie nodded. “We all noticed, even Will. And men rarely notice things like that.”
Georgie thought she’d done a better job of disguising her feelings, but apparently not. “Having a fight presupposes that there’s something to fight about in the first place. Or entails the notion that two people share a relationship close enough to give them something to fight about.”
“That was a nicely muddled evasion, my dear,” Eliza said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Have you been practicing that?”
“No, it just came to me,” she replied in a gloomy voice.
Evie leaned forward and took her hand. “We only want to help. Won’t you please tell us what happened?”
Perhaps it was Eliza’s loving hug, or the sympathetic look on Evie’s face. Whatever it was, Georgie soon found herself blurting out the whole sorry mess.
“He looked positively revolted,” she said, as she ended her tale with a recounting of their disastrous kiss. “I must be dreadful at it.”
Evie shook her head. “I highly doubt that. Even though he avoided you for the rest of the evening, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Whenever you danced with someone else, he looked ready to murder your unfortunate partner.”
“I thought he was going to pull one of the display swords down from the wall and start chasing after all the bachelors,” Eliza said. “When, that is, he wasn’t making sheep eyes at you.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Georgie said with a reluctant laugh.
“It’s not,” Evie said. “It’s quite clear that he’s madly in love with you.”
Eliza nodded. “I agree. Even Bertie has noticed.”
“I know,” Georgie said. “Bertie tried to talk to me about it, but I told him to mind his own business.”
“So I understand,” Eliza said, in a dry tone.
Georgie winced. “Is he very angry with me?”
“He’s never angry with you, dear. He just worries because he wants you to be happy.”
“I thought Fergus would make me happy,” Georgie said with a grimace.
“We agree,” said Evie. “Which is why we think you shouldn’t give up on him.”
“But he…he rejected me.”
“Nonsense,” Eliza said. “He just got cold feet.”
“I’m sure he was embarrassed,” Evie said. “You see, Fergus once caught my sister in the same sort of position with his cousin, when Alec was technically still engaged to Fergus’ sister.”
“How very awkward,” Georgie said.
“Then he challenged Alec to a duel,” Evie added.
Georgie gaped at her. It was hard to reconcile the image of the quiet man she’d come to know with one who would issue such a dramatic and dangerous challenge. Then again, he had looked very dashing and romantic in his kilt tonight, quite like the sort of man who would make a point of defending his sister’s honor.
“That sounds dreadful,” she said. “I hope neither was injured.”
Evie shook her head. “It all turned out just fine, but you can see that Fergus is very sensitive to issues regarding a woman’s honor. I’m sure he was mortified to find himself acting in so reckless a fashion.”
Georgie covered her face with her hands. “I practically threw myself on him. What must he think of me?”
Eliza gently pulled her hands down. “He thinks you’re wonderful.”
“And you’re sure it wasn’t because I don’t know how to kiss?”
“Oh, we’re quite sure it wasn’t,” Eliza said, exchanging a knowing grin with Evie.
“Then what’s holding him back?” Georgie asked, exasperated.
Evie suddenly looked uncomfortable.
Georgie sucked in a horrified gasp. “Is there something in his past? Something with…with another woman.”
Evie flashed her a reassuring smile. “Nothing like that. There are, as you say, issues from his past that are holding him back from making an offer. I will add that his family thinks he has overstated the importance of those issues. They would be thrilled if Fergus asked you to marry him, I’m sure.”
Georgie shook her head, frustrated by the vague explanation. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“He doesn’t think he’s worthy of you. That’s why he’s pushing you away. Because he doesn’t want to hurt you.”
“Of course he’s worthy of me! He’s wonderful,” Georgie exclaimed.
“I agree,” said Eliza. “So you must convince him of that.”
Georgie cocked on eyebrow at Evie. “I don’t suppose you can give me any more details about this mysterious past of his, can you?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s not my story to tell,” Evie replied.
“Then how the devil am I supposed to convince him that he shouldn’t push me away? The whole thing seems impossible.”
“Hmm.” Eliza pulled her knees up and rested her chin on top of them. “You need to start with the most salient point.”
“And that is?”
“You need to ask him if he loves you. That will force him to take a stand.”
“And you need to do it quickly,” Evie added. “Because we leave for Maywood Manor in three days.”
* * *
Georgie soft-footed her way down the stairs and craned around the banister to look around. Fortunately, the entrance hall was deserted, since most everyone was in the kitchens or outside preparing for the skating party. Bertie had worried that the ice on the pond wouldn’t be thick enough to support the skaters, so the entire enterprise had been in doubt. But a string of cold days had done the trick, and Bertie had just this morning pronounced the ice solid enough for skating.
That had sent everyone scrambling to get organized—the men outside and the women indoors.
Many of the staff had the day off, so Georgie, Evie, and Eliza had been busy in the kitchen all morning. Cook had volunteered to stay, but she’d needed help to produce the mountain of sweets for the children to consume once they’d had their fun. Georgie had only just managed to slip away to race up to her room to change. She had no intention of bearding the lion in his den when she was covered in flour and blotches of cake batter.
She scurried across the hall to the library. Fergus had retreated there an hour ago, after helping set up tables and benches by the pond. Georgie had little doubt that he intended to spend the rest of the day in the library, avoiding the fun and definitely avoiding her.
Sending up a little prayer for courage, she opened the door and slipped inside. Fergus was sitting in one of the leather club chairs by the fireplace, his nose deep in an agricultural journal. He was so engrossed in his reading that he didn’t notice until she was practically on top of him.
He stared blankly at her for a moment before dropping the journal and springing to his feet. “Georgie, er, Miss Gage. What are you doing here?”
He was so tall she had to tilt her head to meet his gaze. Yes, she could have backed up a few steps, but she wouldn�
�t put it past him to try to bolt if she gave him room. Really, who would have thought she was so intimidating?
“I was looking for you,” she said. “I believe we need to talk.”
He cast a glance over her shoulder, as if seeking a route of escape.
“Don’t even think of trying to run away, Fergus Haddon,” she said, her thin veneer of control deserting her. “If I have to tie you up in order to have it out, I will not hesitate to do so.”
He frowned. “I have no intention of running away, Miss Gage. But it’s not proper for us to be alone like this. I can’t imagine that your brother would like it.”
“Dear me. You didn’t seem to mind being alone with me last night.”
“And look how well that turned out,” he said.
“I’m sorry you found the episode so distasteful,” she said, trying to sound dignified rather than hurt. “But I have no intention of throwing myself on you today. You are quite safe, Mr. Haddon. You have my word.”
“You’re as daft as I am if you think that’s what I’m worried about. It’s just that—” He broke off as if to collect his thoughts, and then gave her a rueful smile. “Of course we shall talk, if that’s what you want. I’m at your service.”
That was a depressingly formal response. Still, she managed to return his smile and allowed him to hand her into the club chair. He opted to stand, propping a broad shoulder against the edge of the mantle, his expression polite but distant, as if he was mentally already halfway back to Scotland. Fergus Haddon did not look like a man in love, and it took every shred of optimism in Georgie’s soul to dredge up the words she needed to say.
“First of all,” she said, “I want to apologize for throwing myself at you last night. I realize you were shocked, and I’m sorry I put you in so uncomfortable a situation.”
His wary gaze softened. “I will admit to being a trifle shocked, but you did nothing that warrants an apology.”
“But I did make you very uncomfortable, did I not?”
“Not in the way you think.”
She had no idea what he was talking about. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to explain.”
“It’s nothing you should worry about. Much,” he finished with a mutter. “Apologies aside, what else did you wish to discuss with me?”
She clasped her hands loosely in her lap, so as not to fidget. “As you can imagine, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened last night. About the last few weeks, actually. I feel I owe you an explanation for my actions.”
He’d started shaking his head before she’d even finished. “No, I’m the one who should explain. It was I who selfishly agreed to your suggestion that I pretend to court you. That was obviously a poor decision on my part, and I fear I gave you the wrong idea.”
Though her heart sank, she wasn’t ready to call a retreat. “You mean to say that I misapprehended your feelings for me, do you not? Actually, I don’t know at all how you feel about me. I don’t even know if you like me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said in a gruff voice. “I think you’re wonderful. It’s just that…” He trailed off, apparently unable or unwilling to be more specific.
“Well, never mind that for the moment,” she said. “What I do know is how I feel about you. And I suspect those feelings would have developed without any encouragement from you, feigned or otherwise.”
He gazed at her, clearly troubled.
“Don’t you want to know what those feelings are?” she asked.
One corner of his firm mouth kicked up in a wry smile. “Short of making a dash for it, I suspect I don’t have much of a choice other than to find out, do I?”
She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. He certainly wasn’t making it easy on her. Then again, nothing worth having was ever easy.
“After all,” he added, “I can’t spend my remaining days here avoiding you. It would be quite a blow to my masculinity to be forced to cower in my room by a slip of a girl.”
“I’m not a slip of a girl,” she said indignantly.
When he grinned at her, Georgie realized he was beginning to enjoy himself. Or, rather, enjoy putting her on the hot seat.
We ’ll see about that, Mr. Fergus Haddon.
“To put it bluntly,” she said in a brisk tone, “I’ve fallen in love with you, Fergus. And it’s not because you’ve led me on. It’s because of who you are and how you make me feel about myself. It’s so different from anything I’ve ever known.”
He looked stunned—again. Still, he wasn’t stopping her. So, progress.
She stood and drifted over to join him. When she placed a hand on his chest, she could feel the hard, fast thumping of his heart. “I’m so used to being an invalid, having to cater to everyone’s fears about me. But it’s not like that when I’m with you, Fergus. With you, I feel like myself again. The way I used to be before I got sick, only better. Honestly, I thought I’d never feel that way again.”
When he pressed her hand against the silk of his waistcoat, she gazed up into his serious, handsome face and put all her hopes and dreams into words that seemed hopelessly inadequate. “You came to the Friar’s House and everything changed. I began to dream again. I began to see possibilities for the sort of life I’d all but forgotten about these past few years. Do you know how wonderful that is?”
He stared at her with a longing she’d never seen on another man’s face. It made her knees go weak and her heart pound madly against her ribcage.
But when he blinked, it was like a shutter had been rolled down. He took her hand from his chest and carefully unwound his fingers from hers. “Georgie, I—”
“Let me finish,” she said rather desperately. “I know something is holding you back, but for just this moment, I want you to forget about it and tell me how you truly feel about me. Because if I didn’t entirely disgust you last night, and if you do have feelings for me, I’d like us to…um, I’d like to…” Good Lord, she was making a hash of things.
“Well, I’d like to court you,” she said in a rush. “If it wouldn’t be too much of a bother, that is.”
Oh, dear. That really hadn’t come out the way she’d intended.
Fergus looked utterly astounded. Georgie was so mortified that she was hard-pressed not to slink out of the room. Without a doubt, this conversation had turned into the most humiliating experience of her life.
“Say something,” she said tersely.
“I,” he started. Then he grimaced and pressed a hand to his lips. A moment later, Fergus burst into laughter. And not a polite chuckle, either. He was bent almost double, gasping as he tried to control himself.
She gathered up the tattered shreds of her dignity. “If you’re going to act like that, I’m leaving.”
But before she took two steps, he reached out a hand and reeled her back in. “Nay, lass. You’ll not be running away after that little performance.”
“It wasn’t a performance! I meant every word I said.”
He cradled her cheek, giving her a smile so warm and tender that it stole her breath. “I know. And trust me when I tell you that no woman has ever offered to court me before. I will forever cherish that moment.”
She winced. “It actually came out rather muddled.”
“It was perfect.”
“Then I didn’t disgust you last night?” she asked in a hopeful voice.
He huffed out a laugh, then leaned down and brushed a soft, tantalizing kiss across her mouth. He teased her for a few seconds, nuzzling her, then flicking his tongue between her lips. But when she moaned and started to part for him, Fergus drew back.
“Does that answer your question?” he asked, his brogue deep and rough.
“Yes, but then why are you stopping? Don’t you want to court me?”
His chest expanded on a huge breath. “More than anything, but it’s simply not possible.”
Argh. He was the most frustrating man she’d ever known. “Something is holding you back. Can’t you tell me what it is?”
; He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his feet, as if to close himself off from her.
“Fergus?” she prompted.
He finally looked up. “I once challenged my cousin to a duel.” The tone of his voice suggested that he expected her to shriek and faint dead away.
“Yes, I already know that.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Who told you? Wait, it doesn’t matter and that’s not really the important part. Doesn’t it bother you that I did something so unforgiveable?”
“It is rather puzzling, since I thought you quite liked your cousin. But I understand your reasons.”
“You do?”
“Yes, you were defending your sister’s honor.” She frowned. “But there’s one thing I don’t understand. Your sister wanted to join a convent, correct?”
He nodded.
“Then why did you challenge your cousin if your sister didn’t want to marry him in the first place?” she asked.
“Because I didn’t know she didn’t want to marry him. Well, I did, except I wasn’t really paying attention to that part. Or to Alec, either. He kept trying to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen.” He let out a disgusted snort. “Oh, confound it. It all sounds completely ridiculous, doesn’t it? And I suppose it was.”
“Just a bit confusing. You didn’t actually go through with the duel, did you?”
“No, thank God. Lady Reese put a stop to it.”
“Oh, I wish I could have seen that,” Georgie said. The more she knew about Lady Reese, the more she liked her.
Fergus let out a reluctant laugh. “She came roaring onto the field like a fire-breathing dragon. I thought she was going to murder us.”
“You probably deserved it.”
“We did. We were both acting like idiots.”
“But you and your cousin made it up, didn’t you?”
“We did. Alec is a good man,” he said, sounding a little gruff.
Georgie patted his chest. “Then it sounds like everything worked out fine. I understand what brothers are like, Fergus, so you needn’t be embarrassed on my account. And if that’s the only thing that’s holding you back—”
She stopped, startled by the change in his expression.
The Season for Loving: A Renegade Royals Novella Page 7