‘So Peter Sinclair wasn’t Peter Sinclair?’
‘You’ve got it!’
‘Then who the fuck was he?’
‘Good question, I‘m beginning to get an idea, but until we can dig up something new, I suggest we start writing up the story for the paper. I think it’d be a good idea to get the story out in the public domain, it might ease any pressure on us.’
We spent the next few hours beginning to write up the story of William Howard Miller, starting with a description of the Reichstag fire and then reproducing his letter, describing his part in it.
‘It’s too long’ Lisa commented looking at our draft, ‘we need to cut it down, Jack reckoned the story needed to be in two or three episodes of about a thousand words.’
‘Okay, rewrite number one then.’ We began to work our way through what we had written, losing words whilst retaining the narrative of the story. Eventually, we gave up and watched television before heading for bed early, I still had not recovered from the previous night.
When I awoke the next day, there was a text message from Jane. ‘We need to meet, please phone me.’ I did as requested.
‘Ian, I really need to speak to you face to face, there’s something I have to tell you and I don’t want to do it over the phone.’
‘This sounds ominous. Could you meet me half way, I’m still in London.’ I tried to sound phlegmatic, but my hands were beginning to shake and I felt hot. What new bombshell could she land on me? What would it be this time?
‘I could meet you at Stansted airport, outside the departures entrance.’
‘Okay, at 11.30?’
‘Fine, I’ll see you then.’
Lisa looked at me. ‘What does the witch want now?’
‘Don’t talk about her like that….’
‘Huh, witch wasn’t my first choice, though it sounded similar. You can’t let her walk all over you like this Ian. One minute she’s walking out on you, the next she expects you to drop everything and go running to her. She can’t have it both ways. Every time you speak to her you end up getting hurt all over again.’
‘I know, but she’s my wife and despite everything, I love her, even though I know I can’t stay married to her after she’s been with another man. We have to divorce now, because I could never forgive or forget that. Trust can’t be re-established once it’s been broken like that. I told you, there’s no going back, it’s just that going forward is so daunting, so hard.’
‘Ian, I hope that if I marry, my husband will be as loyal and faithful as you.’
‘Thanks, you make me sound like a Labrador or Alsatian.’
‘No, Ian I really mean it, you can defend her even after everything. I just hope my husband will be as loyal.’
‘You have doubts about James?’
‘None, but he hasn’t asked me, so I’m not counting my chickens before their hatched.’
‘If he’s worth it, he’d be stupid to let a girl like you go.’
She smiled at me affectionately. ‘Go see her, but don’t let her upset you any more.’
At exactly 11.30 I walked up to the departures door at Stansted Airport. I could see Jane already waiting for me. Jane. She was standing in the midday sun, her dark hair shining. She might have been over fifty, but I still saw the young woman who I first fell in love with, the woman I married two years later and the mother of my children. She had put on a little weight in the intervening years, but that filled out her face making her look far younger than her years. There she stood, sunglasses shading her eyes. My Jane. Soon to be mine no more. My mouth went instantly dry as I saw her and my eyes stung with unshed tears. I swallowed with difficulty.
‘You’re early.’ I said.
‘Yes, I was rather anxious.’
‘Anxious, you? You’ve made all the running in this ….situation.’
‘We can’t talk here, let’s go get a coffee.’
We forced our way through hordes of suitcase burdened holiday makers, passing the departures door and going on through the arrivals door. Inside we found a relatively deserted coffee bar and settled ourselves down in a corner with two unwanted coffees.
‘Okay, what is it you wanted?’
‘Ian, there’s no easy way to say this, but I’m leaving Suffolk to move nearer Simon….’ I zoned out of the rest of the speech as my mind reeled. Simon, bloody Simon, the boyfriend Jane had before she met me at University. The pain knotted in my gut. I could have coped with almost anyone else, but not bloody Simon. It was not just that I had always considered the man a total twat, though to be fair I had only met him once, nearly thirty-five years ago; but for Jane to go back to him seemed to negate the time we had together, almost as if she was expunging the Ian years as a mistake and going back to the time before me. Jane was still talking. ‘I’ve found a job near him in Southampton, I haven’t finally decided to move in with him, but it’s a strong possibility. I wanted you to hear it from me, not second hand through the kids. I’m going to tell them when I get back.’
I looked at her across the table; her eyes were as misted with tears as mine.
‘Look Jane, don’t you think you’re being a bit rash. This is all so quick; it’s not like you not to look before you leap. I know we can’t stay married, but I still love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Are you sure that you’re not jumping in with both feet because you’re running away from something rather than towards something? It’s almost as if you’re on the rebound. You’ve only been with him a few weeks, isn’t this a bit precipitous? You’ll be away from your friends, family and entire support network. You’ll be alone, if it all goes wrong.’
‘On the rebound? I’m hardly a teenager Ian. We’ve talked it over. I’m aware that I’m taking all the risks and I’ve pointed that out to Simon. I’ve known him for thirty odd years.’
‘No, you knew him as a youth thirty years ago, it’s not the same.’ I corrected. ‘You’re jumping into a relationship with someone you don’t really know. It’s no use saying you knew him in the 1970s. I’m not the same person I was then and nor is he.’
‘We’ve talked it all through and I’ve found a job in Southampton, I gave my notice in yesterday. I move down there in a month.’
‘I’ll be honest with you, I think you’re making a mistake and you’ll come to regret it. You know that if…no, when it all goes wrong, I’ll be here to help you pick up the pieces. I could never marry you again, but you’ll always be my friend and I’ll always love you.’
‘I couldn’t do that to you Ian. I’m taking the chance and I’ll have to live with the consequences, if it doesn’t work out.’
‘I still think you’re making a mistake and you should think about it more before you dive in head first.’
‘I’m going Ian. I want to be happy and I hope you’ll be happy too eventually.’
The conversation went round in circles for half an hour, but there was no dissuading her, she had made up her mind and rash though the decision was, she was determined to stand by it. I kissed her on the cheek as we parted and it dawned on me that this could be the last time that we’d see each other on this footing. I drove the hour back to Hackney and walked into the flat where Lisa was surfing the net in search of more information about Sinclair. She looked up as I entered the room.
‘Hi, I think I’ve just found a picture of Sinclair senior from the early eighties. I’ll just save it.’ She looked at me more closely. ‘Ian, are you alright? You look very pale and there’s that empty look in your eyes again. She’s done it to you again hasn’t she?’ I haltingly told her the gist of our conversation. She regarded me with genuine pity.
‘Oh Ian, I’m sorry, she’s succeeded in dumping on you all over again. I agree with you, she’s making a big mistake. You’re right, she’s behaving like she’s on the rebound. How do you think Lucy and Rob will take it?’
‘I really don’t know. It seems a bit hard on Rob; she’ll have gone by the time he gets back. It looks like I’ll be taking him off
to Uni on my own.’
My mobile began to ring insistently. I looked at the caller Id and was unsurprised to see it was Lucy.
‘Hi Dad.’
‘Hi Love, what’s up? Been speaking to your mother?’
‘I have, what the fuck is she doing? She wants to move in with this Simon after just a few weeks, she’d be tearing me off a strip, if I considered moving in with a guy after such a short time.’
‘I know love, I’ve told her that I think she’s making a mistake, but there’s no putting her off.’
‘She wants me to meet him Dad, but I told her I wanted to talk to you first, I don’t want to do it behind your back, I’ll only go if you agree.’
‘If he’s going to be part of your mother’s life, then you have to meet him. I’ll be honest, I hate the idea of that twat meeting you, but she’s your mum and you have to meet her partner. So if it’s my permission you’re asking for, then I give it, albeit reluctantly.’ I paused. ‘Sorry, my comments were out of order.’
‘Hey Dad, if that’s the way you feel, there’s nothing wrong with saying it. Get it out of your system.’
‘Do you know if she’s spoken to Rob?’
‘Yeah, I had him on Facebook just now. He’s not too happy about it all. He says he’ll agree to meet Simon, but only if I’m there too.’
I smiled. ‘That sounds like Rob. Always wants to have support when the going gets difficult. Give him my love.’
‘I will, but perhaps you should talk to him.’
‘Yeah, you’re right I’ll log on and talk to him when we’ve finished.’
‘He’s gone now Dad, you’ll have to get on to him later. Are you alright Dad? I worry about you. I want to be there for you but this bloody dissertation is really dragging on. I hate the idea of you being alone through all this.’
‘Don’t worry about me love, I’ll be fine and I’m not on my own, I’m still working with Lisa, she’s been a great help.’
‘Thank her for me Dad. I never really got on with her at school, but she’s been a good friend to you throughout all of this.’
‘I will; goodbye Lucy, take care.’
‘You take care Dad, I’ll speak to you soon, love you.’ She hung up.
‘Lucy.’ I said holding up the mobile.
‘Is she okay?’
‘Somewhat unimpressed with her mother, but she’s okay. She said to thank you for what you’ve done for me. She’s grateful that I’ve got someone to support me through this shit.’
‘Ian, it’s been a pleasure. I’m just happy that I could be there for you.’
I looked at her. ‘Do you know what?’ I asked. ‘You’re wise beyond your years.’
‘Wise? Me?’ she laughed. ‘I think all this is playing with your mind. No-one has ever accused me of being wise.’
‘Well you are.’
‘You didn’t see me at uni, I spent half my evenings wasted, you should have seen the state I was in after Mayhem!’
‘You still got a bloody good degree. I told you, you’re a caring and wise young woman, and I’ll always be in your debt. Maybe one day I’ll have the chance to repay you.’
‘Don’t be silly Ian, you owe me nothing, I’m the one doing the repaying, for all those years of care at school… and all the tissues I used!
‘Okay, we’ll call it quits, now let’s change the subject.’
Chapter 26
Owing to the time difference, I could not get Rob on Facebook until the following morning. He was not impressed with his mother’s news and worried at what was going on at home whilst he was away. He was very concerned about me. Again he wanted to return to be with me, but I dissuaded him and told him about my work with Lisa, but left out the danger we were in. It reassured him that I had someone with me. Like Lucy, he knew Lisa from school, he was much younger of course and I think he had always had a crush on her. We chatted for a while and I arranged to meet him at Heathrow, when he returned as scheduled in three weeks.
Lisa came out from her room looking less than her usual radiant self. Her eyes were red and swollen, she had obviously been crying.
‘What’s up kid? Why are you so upset?’
‘I’m sorry Ian, I’m such a wimp. All that you’ve put up with and I get all weepy because James isn’t coming home as we arranged.’ I put my arm round her and hugged her.
‘Hey, it’s not the end of the world.’
‘I know. It’s just that I was looking forward to seeing him so much. He phoned me an hour ago and said that his boss needed him to work all next week in order to close the deal the week after. He said he could get the time off then.’
‘Did he realise how upset you were?’
‘Uhuh, I’m afraid I cried on the phone, then we had big row.’
‘And you’ve been crying ever since. He’ll be feeling as guilty as hell you know.’
‘Serves him right, the poohead!’
I laughed. ‘Very grown up. Can I take back what I said last night about you being wise?’
‘Thanks!’
‘Look, give him a ring and make up. If he can’t come to you, why don’t you go to him? Get a flight to Prague and see your man. If he’s that important to you, then show him; don’t make the mistakes I made. Look at the bloody mess I’m in, you don’t want to end up like me. Besides, you’ll be safely out of the reach of our unknown bad guy. In the circumstances, it’s probably just as well James isn’t coming home, that could put him at risk too, unless he’s going to go into hiding with us here. ’
‘You were always so good at putting me back together when I was upset and you haven’t lost your touch. I’ll go to Prague and surprise him, but only once we’ve got to the bottom of this.’
‘Good girl, you know it makes sense. You’re only young once, make the most of it.’ She smiled at me.
‘There you go again, sounding as if you’re my granddad. You do realise that what you’re telling me applies to you too.’
‘I’ve no-one to run to.’
‘Not at the moment, but you need to make the most of your life. You will meet someone else and then you’ve got to go for it.’
‘When and if that happens I’ll bear it in mind.’
‘But seriously, we need to set a time limit on this, we’re stirring up a hornets nest with this research, we need to find what the connection is between Miller and what’s been happening to us soon. If we can’t do it in the next few days, we’re never going to and it’ll be time for us to go looking for somewhere to hide until it’s all blown over.’
‘Okay, I’ll agree to that as long as you take cover too, I’m not about to bail and leave you in the shit.’
‘I’ve got an idea that ties all this together, which might expedite matters.’
‘What?’
‘I really don’t want to say yet, there’s no real evidence other than a hunch. I want you to play the devil’s advocate to test my idea once we find some evidence. Now let’s sort out your trip.’
We went on the internet together and booked her tickets from Stansted to Prague on Tuesday morning. I offered to take her to the airport on my way back to Suffolk and then on to places unknown. After coffee we went back to work on the story. My mind began to wander, could Sinclair really be who I thought? Was I jumping to hasty conclusions? I mulled this over in my mind worrying at the problem, whilst Lisa retyped the story again. Eventually we got it down to a length and a format that we were both happy with and Lisa emailed a copy to Jack. I was still niggled about Sinclair.
‘You seem distracted.’ Lisa said. ‘Are you losing interest in all this?’
‘Good God no! I’m just running over the Miller conundrum in my head.’
‘Yeah, who the hell was he?’
‘I’m not totally sure, but Sinclair senior went to a lot of trouble to change his identity.’
‘Why so cryptic? Look Ian, I’m in danger too, I’ve a right to be let in to the secret’
‘You’re right. I’ve got no proof, but since he paid t
he care bills for Lisl Miller…..’
‘He’s Miller?’
‘It’s a working hypothesis. We’ve had the whole thing the wrong way round. It wasn’t Aylmer working through Sinclair to keep Miller hidden; it was Sinclair working through Aylmer!’
She laughed. ‘That’s wonderful; the father of the leader of the neofascist BNRA was a Nazi war criminal. This is dynamite! We could really sell our story now. In fact I’ll bet it’s just doubled or trebled the value of our story. Better still it would destroy his carefully created image as a British nationalist’
‘It’s also not provable and would therefore be actionable for libel. We can’t make any reference to it in the article, unless we have evidence to back it up, and it would have to be conclusive evidence no newspaper would publish it otherwise. It will have to be legally watertight. You’ve already told me how litigious Sinclair is where his image is concerned.’
‘I suppose I also accounts for the break-ins and the threats.’ ‘Yep, we’ve crossed into very dangerous territory here and we can’t do anything but to go on. We’ve already seen the violence of some of his supporters, especially Storm45. They don’t hesitate to use violence and I think they believed we knew more than we did. Now we’ve got to get the proof. It really is very risky.’
‘But we’ve both said that someone needs to throw a spanner in Sinclair’s works, now we’ve got the chance.’
‘But at what cost? We don’t have any evidence to support it, but if we have to try to find it and we’ll need to be very careful that we stay under the radar.’
‘We have to go on; I will if you will too, I can’t do this alone. Remember what you said, all that’s necessary for evil to triumph is that the good man do nothing.’
I sighed wearily.
‘There’s no stopping you and we have no real option anyway. We have to get Sinclair before he gets us, hiding might work, but bringing the truth to light and destroying him would be more effective, if we can do it. But there’ll be a cost, what about Seneschal and the Madrid job?’
‘Fuck them. I’ve got a few days respite anyway, but I’m not being packed off to Madrid now.’
Nothing left to lose Page 19