by Tracey West
CHAPTER 15
Sub Attack!
Later that night, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico waddled up to the octopi guarding the sub. The penguins were wearing lederhosen, short pants with suspenders. Skipper held an accordion. All three of them smiled goofily.
They lined up, just as they had been instructed.
Skipper was mortified. “We never tell a soul we did this. We take this shame to our graves,” Skipper told his crew, through a clenched beak.
“Agreed,” said Kowalski.
Then Skipper started playing the accordion, and the three penguins launched into a German folk dance. The octopi stared curiously at the penguins at first. Then they started clapping to the music. Kowalski and Rico slapped each other’s flippers as part of the dance, and the henchmen copied them.
The penguins danced their way down the dock, away from the submarine and into the surrounding jungle. Transfixed by the music and dancing, the henchmen followed them.
Below the pier, the North Wind agents waited for the guards to clear out.
“Time?” Classified asked Eva.
“Twenty-two hundred hours,” she replied.
Classified nodded. “Time to take down Dave.”
The agents burst out of hiding, dressed in all their high-tech gear. They entered the sub, using electrical charges and lasers to burst through door after door. Corporal gave a big polar bear punch to any guard that stood in their way.
The four North Wind agents stopped in front of Dave’s captain’s chair and trained their weapons on him.
“Dave the octopus!” Agent Classified shouted. “Show me your tentacles!”
Dave casually swung around in his chair and raised his tentacles.
“All of them,” Classified ordered.
Slam! Dozens of octopus henchmen dropped from above, smashing the North Wind agents underneath them.
• • •
Back in the jungle, the octopus guards frantically searched for the adorable penguin folk dancers. Where had they gone?
After they disappeared into the forest, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico dropped down from a tree branch, sitting on the accordion.
“We lost them, Skipper,” Kowalski noted.
“And not a moment too soon,” Skipper said, hoisting up his lederhosen. “These hosen are riding up in my Bundesliga.”
They hopped down from the accordion. Kowalski picked up Rico and planted him upside down in the dirt. Then he studied the shadow Rico cast under the moonlight.
“Classified should be walking away from a huge explosion with Private on his shoulder in three . . . two. . . . Give him a welcome home, Rico!” Skipper said.
Rico leaned his head back and hocked up fireworks that exploded in the air above them. But there was no sign of Private or the North Wind.
“Um, the sub didn’t explode. I fear the fireworks may have been a tactical mistake,” Kowalski said.
Wham! A horde of octopus henchmen dropped down upon the penguins.
By the time the penguins realized what was happening, they found themselves in a cage being wheeled through Dave’s submarine. Behind them, octopi pushed a cage holding the four North Wind agents.
“Remain calm! Do not panic! We will still win!” Short Fuse cried. Then he started to lose it. The poor little guy was bawling hard.
Kowalski reached through the bars to touch Eva. Her head spun around to look at him. All the fire was gone from her eyes.
“Eva! I know,” Kowalski said sympathetically.
Agent Classified turned his head away. He felt just as bad as the others, but he wasn’t about to show it.
Inside, though, the truth hurt.
For the first time, he had failed.
CHAPTER 16
Dave Wins!
Dave gasped in mock surprise as his henchmen wheeled the penguin cage before him.
“Welcome! Skipper, Kowalski, and rootin-tootin’ Rico!” he said. “The gang’s all here! The mood is electric! Is that really finally everybody?”
His henchman Nicholas filled in the last portion of their penguin chart. All of the octopi let out a garbled cheer.
Skipper gripped the bars of the cage. “All right, Dave. Just what have you done with—”
Before he could finish, Dave slipped around a metal table with Private strapped to it.
“Private!” Skipper cried.
“Guys!” Private cheered. “You’re in for it now, Dave!”
“Really?” Dave asked. He turned the ray toward Private. It was loaded with Medusa Serum.
“Now, who’s ready to move into live penguin testing?” Dave asked.
“You move that death ray away from Private right now!” Skipper yelled.
“It’s not a death ray, Skipper!” Private called out. “He’s gonna turn us into monsters!”
Dave nodded. “Yepper-doo!”
“Skipper!” Private cried.
Skipper was horrified. “You can’t take away Private’s cuteness!”
“He’s the cute one! That’s his thing!” Kowalski said.
Rico nodded.
“What?” Private asked.
“It’s all the little guy’s got!” Skipper went on.
Private sighed. Is that really all his team thought of him? That all he could do was be cute?
Looking sad made him even more adorable.
“Hmm, you are supercute,” Dave said, eyeing him. “We’d better crank this up.”
He nodded to two henchmen.
“Drew, Barry, more power!” he commanded.
They quickly worked on the machine, and it hummed louder.
“Skipper?” Private asked nervously. “Any time now. . . .”
Skipper looked at Dave. “Your plan is insane! Do you really think any of this is going to make people love you?”
Dave held a tentacle over the Fire button. “No, but they’ll despise you. Isn’t that what really matters? Ready?”
“Negotiations have broken down,” Kowalski said worriedly.
“Rico! The paper clip! Get us out of here!” Skipper ordered.
Rico coughed up a baseball glove.
“We need that paper clip. Chop-chop, soldier!” said Skipper frantically.
Kowalski slipped on the baseball glove and started to catch the items that Rico coughed up. A toothbrush . . . a teddy bear . . . a sippy cup . . . but no paper clip.
Skipper got behind him, gripped him around the waist, and squeezed Rico’s belly. “Where’s the paper clip?”
He glanced over at Private. The ray inched closer and closer to the frightened little guy.
“No!” Skipper yelled.
Private looked over and saw Rico trying to cough up the paper clip. That reminded him of something—the paper clip he had swallowed earlier. He coughed and gagged.
Zap! Dave fired the ray. There was an explosion of green smoke.
“No!” Skipper wailed.
The smoke cleared, and Skipper rubbed his eyes. “Private?”
He looked at the table, expecting to see a monster there. But Private wasn’t there. All that was left were a few feathers.
Dave looked confused. “I disintegrated him. That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Rico was devastated.
“You maniac! You blew him up!” Kowalski yelled.
“No . . . ,” Skipper whispered.
Dave shrugged. “Oh well. This is why we test things, people. I’ll have to lower the power for the others.” He nodded to his henchmen. “Gentlemen, chart a course for New York City. The monsters are due in Manhattan.”
Dave made an announcement over the sub’s speakers. “All henchmen report to your posts.”
A henchman rolled the penguins’ cage away, and Dave followed. Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico wiped away tears. Private was gone . . . gone forever!
Or was he? Once the room was empty, a penguin appeared from behind the metal table. A really cute penguin, holding a paper clip. The paper clip that had unlocked him from the metal table just in time
.
Private was alive!
CHAPTER 17
Saving the North Wind
Dave’s henchmen quickly got to work. They chained together the North Wind agents and placed them on a platform in the Death Machine room. One of the henchmen, Brutus, stood behind a console, ready to activate the machine and destroy the agents.
“All right, octopus!” Agent Classified called out. “Whatever Dave’s paying you, I’ll double it!”
Brutus replied in garbled octopus speech.
“Is that a yes?” Classified asked. He looked at his team members. “Does anyone speak octopus?”
“Sorry,” replied Eva.
“Nope,” said Short Fuse.
“Not a clue,” answered Corporal.
“Blast it!” Classified cried. He pointed at Brutus. “You. Free us,” he said as if he were talking to a child. “We give you ma-ny fish-es.”
Classified pantomimed eating a fish. “Mmm, yummy!”
Brutus ignored him. He punched buttons on the console, and the platform flipped around. An enormous death machine faced them.
“What is that?” Classified asked.
Bright lights came on, illuminating the dials on the death machine: Dead. Deader. Deadest. Really Dead. Really, Really Dead.
“Oh great,” Classified moaned.
The machine whirred to life. The platform slowly inched toward the machine. Whomp! Two metal compactors slammed together. As soon as the platform reached them, they’d be crushed.
Whomp!
Short Fuse started to lose it again. “Oh no! This is it!”
“I don’t want to die all squishy!” Corporal wailed.
Eva rolled her eyes. She was the only one who kept her cool.
The platform inched even closer. . . .
“Oh, we’re dead! Dead! Dead!” Classified yelled, grabbing onto Corporal.
Suddenly, the team was whisked backward just before the compactors smashed together.
Whomp!
Classified’s eyes were shut tightly. He didn’t realize they’d been saved. “Oh no! We’re dead! Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaaad!”
The platform revolved around, revealing Private at the controls, holding a bat. Brutus fell to the ground, unconscious.
Private pressed a button, releasing the chains binding the agents. Classified still clung to Corporal. When he opened his eyes and saw Private, he snapped back into tough-guy mode.
“Hello! I pushed a button!” Private said.
“Ho ho ho! Super! Well done, Private!” he praised.
“Good work, malinki,” Eva said affectionately.
“Eh, yes, excellent button pushing,” Classified said, trying to cover for his failure. “Hm. Compliment, praise, etcetera. All right agents, we are back in business. Time to take down Dave.”
Private smiled, glad to be part of a team again. Then he saw the North Wind racing for the wrong exit. “Wait! Skipper, Kowalski, Rico—and those penguins,” Private said, pointing. “They’re this way!”
The agents stopped.
“Right, and as soon as we return to the North Wind headquarters, grab fresh equipment, and work up a smashing new plan, we’ll come speeding back and take down Dave,” Classified said.
“But they’re in danger!” Private urged.
“We can’t go running in without a plan,” Eva said.
“We got no tech, man! I need my booms!” Short Fuse said.
Private was angry. “Skipper wouldn’t care! Plan or no! Fancy equipment or no! He’d never leave a man behind!”
His words stopped the agents. They watched as Private, small and alone, took the exit leading toward danger. They hesitated for a moment—and then Classified led them through the opposite door.
“Come on,” Classified said.
CHAPTER 18
Dave Takes Manhattan
Inside his submarine, Dave was getting ready for his big New York appearance. He spoke to his henchmen. “Gentlemen, what we do now, we do for all octopus-kind. But mostly for me.” Dave looked up to watch a news report on his TV screen.
“BREAKING NEWS! The penguins have been found,” the reporter was saying. “Okay, according to my notes, genetic researcher Dr. Octavius Brine has found the penguins and is bringing them here to New York’s Battery Park. The penguins are coming back! Oh my gosh! Loooook!”
Dave suddenly appeared on the water, rising from the unseen submarine below him. He held a microphone. He tapped it to make sure it was working and then said, “Penguin lovers of the world! Guess who I found?” The crowd roared with delight.
“It wasn’t easy,” Dave continued, “but seeing the penguins get what they deserve will make it all worthwhile.”
“What a weird thing to say,” the news reporter said. “I’m so excited!”
Dave turned to his henchman. “Do it,” he ordered.
Back inside the sub, Private peered through a window at the pile of penguins. He tried to get the attention of his brothers.
“Skipper! Skipper! Rico! Kowalski!” he called out.
They could barely hear him over the triumphant music playing behind Dave.
“It’s like I can still hear his little voice, calling to us,” Skipper said.
“You have to get out of there!” Private yelled. “Move!”
“It’s like he’s saying, ‘You have a great otter there. Moo,’ ” Skipper said.
“Why would he moo?” Kowalski asked.
“What are you asking me for?” Skipper replied. “I’m not Private’s little ghost.”
Then Brutus hit a button.
Zap! The ray beamed the Medusa Serum all over the captured penguins.
“Noooooo!” Private wailed.
CHAPTER 19
Mutants Unleashed!
Outside, the crowd couldn’t wait to see their beloved penguins.
“Are you READY?” Dave asked the crowd.
“YEAH!” they cheered.
Dave walked down the side of the sub, laughing maniacally. “Yay! Your new and improved penguins!”
The mouth of the submarine tilted upward, shooting out a mass of penguins. Smoke billowed out along with them, spreading across the water and through the park.
The penguins landed in Battery Park and marched through the park. Confused, the crowd tried to see them through the thick fog.
“Mommy, it’s the penguins!” a little girl exclaimed, walking closer to the line of marching penguins.
Then the fog slowly cleared . . . revealing not a bunch of adorable penguins, but an army of mutant penguins! All their cuteness was gone. Now they looked really scary.
The former penguin-loving people started swatting at the mutant penguins with penguin backpacks and stuffed penguin toys. In a daze, the mutants swatted back at them, all grunting like Frankenstein’s monster. The happy reunion became a free-for-all: humans against penguins, and penguins against humans.
Back in the submarine, Private peered through the periscope and watched the scene. This was terrible!
“Oh dear. Oh no. Oh no, oh no . . . ,” he moaned.
Suddenly, Private heard a loud noise. “Crikey!” he said. He turned around just in time to see several octopi henchmen drop from the ceiling, trapping Private in. He looked around. There was no way out, but he refused to let the henchmen think he was scared.
“Come on, then. You wanna go?” he shouted. “You want some argy bargy?” Then with a sudden burst of confidence, Private charged them. He let out a war cry. “Aaaaaagh!”
The octopi charged, and it looked like Private was doomed. But just as they were about to make contact, Private disappeared.
The octopi henchmen looked at each other in confusion. “Where’d he go?” one asked.
And then the octopi heard a familiar sound—the sound of the ray vehicle revving up.
“YAAAAAAAHHH!!!” Private yelled, as he crashed right through the henchmen. The octopi scattered left and right.
Dave didn’t notice Private driving out of the sub, piloting th
e ray. Private quickly spotted mutant Skipper. With a crazed look in his watery eyes, Skipper was eating stuffed penguins from a souvenir stand. A terrified cat ran by, and Skipper grabbed it.
Private jumped down from the ray and ran to Skipper. “Skipper! Don’t eat that!”
Skipper turned to look at Private.
“Gnagh!” he blurted out. His mind had been mutantized too.
“It’s okay, Skipper,” Private said. “It’s me, Private.”
Skipper lunged at him, but Private quickly dodged out of the way.
“I know you’re in there somewhere,” Private told him.
“Gnaghgnaghgnaghgnagh!” Skipper replied.
Skipper swung his giant flipper at Private. Now it had a wicked-looking claw at the end. Private dodged again.
“Listen! This isn’t you!” Private told him.
Skipper paused. It looked like he was thinking it over.
Then he swallowed the cat.
“No! Bad Skipper!” Private yelled.
Skipper lunged for Private again. This time, Private didn’t dodge him. Instead, he slapped Skipper across the face.
“Oh, dear,” Private said. He would never dream of slapping Skipper. Not even a horrible, mutant, cat-eating Skipper. But now he had done it!
Skipper stared at Private. The slap jarred something in Skipper’s brain. Images flashed through his mind. Baby Private, hatching from an egg. Private giving Skipper a silly salute. Private making an adorable sad face.
“Pry-vit?” Skipper asked.
“Yes! That’s it!” Private said.
“Private! You’re alive!” Skipper cheered in his normal voice.
Skipper’s body was still mutant, but his brain was back to normal. He hugged Private, laughing and then sobbing.
Then he coughed, and the cat jumped out of his mutant mouth.
“Sorry,” Skipper told Private. “It’s just that I thought you were a goner.”
Mutant Skipper and Private hurried to find the rest of their team. They spotted mutant Kowalski getting ready to throw a trash can through a store window. His flippers had transformed into tentacles! They ran up to stop him.
“Urgh? Hissssssssssssss!” Kowalski flailed his tentacles at them.