Ann Summers was the place I’d normally get all my underwear from, but that all changed when Rick and I started having problems. I didn’t feel comfortable wearing sexy underwear around him, choosing something far more plain and comfortable.
“Don't do that,” he says, moving closer.
“Don't do what?” I ask him, confused, my arms wrapped around my bare midriff.
“Don't hide from me. Never hide your body from me. You’re beautiful and should never hide a body that is alluring, artistic and heavenly. You’re perfect inside and out.” He moves my hands away from my stomach, and I let them fall limply to my side.
“I bet that’s what you tell all the girls,” I tease, trying not to show how uncomfortable I am with being the centre of attention. His words are sweet, and they melt my heart, but I’ve looked in the mirror. I’ve seen the ugly scars on the inside and out.
“No, Lola. Only you.” He steps closer so we’re chest to chest, his warmth pressing against my breasts causes a throb low in my stomach. My nipples tighten, the hard tips brushing against the lacy fabric of my bra and the sensation of the rough material rubbing against my already sensitive breasts has tingles pulsating all the way to my clit.
“No one is as beautiful as you, Lola,” he whispers, his piercing blue eyes glistening with affection. When he looks at me like that, I only see the truth and the love he has for me. And as cliché as it sounds, he really does make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world whenever I’m around him. He’s constantly paying attention to everything I do and say, and not many men do that.
I bite down on my bottom lip trying to be brave and sexy, although my whole body is shaking with nerves and excitement. I most likely look demented and crazed, instead of the seductress I was going for. I want to run and hide, but something inside me doesn’t let me. Placing my hands on his bare chest, I run my finger across his defined, cut abs.
I'm so turned on, and it’s all because of this man in front of me. The softness in his eyes turns into a fiery blaze. I squeeze my thighs together at the wetness seeping between them. I try to sound seductive enough to distract him, fighting a giggle.
“Dean, baby, is it cold?” I whisper, batting my eyelashes.
He seems confused, but before he has time to think or open his mouth, I push him over the edge of the boat. I stand, laughing, his shocked expression hilarious before he disappears under the water.
Too busy laughing, I don’t hear Dean re-surface, and by the time I realise what’s happening, he’s grabbing my wrists, pulling me into the freezing water. I squeal as I fall head first, coming up spluttering water, whipping the hair out of my face. I start giggling, splashing Dean before swimming off farther into the lake.
The water has done very little to cool down the fire that is burning inside me. Even now, when my body is getting used to the temperature of the lake, I still feel like I’m in a furnace.
Dean swims over to me, pulling me against his body, and I immediately wrap my legs around his waist, rubbing my sex up his hard shaft, gasping at the sensation. I didn’t even mean to do it; it was just a knee-jerk reaction. He growls in my ear, sending shivers up my spine, so I do it again. I love it when he makes that sound; it makes me feel powerful and sexy.
Lifting his head from my neck, his lips find mine, kissing me passionately. The kiss turns into something more, something deeper, and it’s like something inside me shifts because I want him, like really want him.
It’s not about sex; it’s about Dean and the way he makes me feel. I know he would wait a lifetime for me, but I feel like we’ve already waited a lifetime to be with each other.
It’s overwhelming, a mind whirl, but it also feels right, no matter how quickly it’s happening.
“I want you,” I tell him, fighting myself to not look away. I’m nervous he’s going to turn me down; even though it’s clear he wants me.
“I want you too, Lola, but we can wait for that. We have forever,” he tells me sincerely, looking at me with adoration.
“No, I want you, Dean. I need you now,” I plead, frustration lacing my tone. I’ve never been surer of anything. I just wish he could see that.
“Let’s get you home.” He smiles, and even though he hasn’t answered, I can only be thankful that he hasn’t said no.
Chapter 16
All the way back to the cabin my nerves get the best of me. Whether it’s due to excitement or the unknown, I’m not sure; all I know is that I desperately want this. Every time I glance at Dean, he looks deep in thought and those nerves inside me intensify, thinking he’s changed his mind. The possibility that he’s trying to think of a way to gently let me down also crosses my mind, and it’s making me sick to my stomach.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want me like that,” I assure him, my voice a whisper as I keep my gaze on the ground. I want to move forward, and the thought of him not wanting me tears something deep inside me.
Dean breaks through my thoughts as he grabs my hand, pulling me against him. Just his touch is sending sparks through me, but the moment I look up, I’m startled by the intensity in his eyes. The powerful look sends shivers racing through my body.
“I want you, Lola. I’ve always wanted you. I just don’t want to rush you. I can wait as long as you need me to. I’m not going anywhere. Please don’t push yourself to do something you aren’t ready for,” he says softly, taking care to not hurt my feelings.
“Dean, you’re not forcing me into anything I don’t want to do. I want this, and I want you. I’ve feared intimacy for so long and never thought I’d ever get to experience what every other woman out there has with their partners. They get the best parts of sex, whereas I’ve done nothing but fear it, dread the act. But whenever you touch or kiss me, I feel like my whole body is being set alight. You make me feel, make me want and need things I’ve never felt before. I want more,” I say, taking another step closer to him and lifting my head.
He growls deep in the back of his throat before slamming his lips against mine, picking me up by the backs of my thighs. I grab his shoulders, swinging my legs around his waist, his mouth swallowing my moan.
After a few attempts to open the door, Dean finally succeeds, stepping through and kicking it shut behind us. Leading us to the bedroom, he never once breaks apart from our kiss. My nerves have me shaking in anticipation, and I begin to worry if I’ll be good enough. Will he enjoy it?
Dean deepens the kiss, and I forget all about my insecurities and fears. The kiss turns hotter, more passionate, and desperate. Clinging to his hair, I pull him to me, needing him closer. He slides me down his body, and as my feet hit the floor, I immediately reach for his T-shirt. I only manage to lift it so far before Dean has to help me out, pulling it the rest of the way off in one fluid movement.
Never getting tired of seeing his incredible body, I step forward, my finger moving over each ridge of muscles, before inching lower, over his happy trail and towards that defined V I so desperately want to lick.
He sucks in a breath, and I’m surprised I’m having such a strong effect on him. His eyes darken, and his hands move towards my top.
Lifting my arms, he pulls the top over my head. He bends down, placing sweet kisses across my stomach, trailing them up my chest, all the way to my favourite spot behind my ear. God, I love it when he kisses me there, nibbling at the sensitive skin. Goosebumps trail down my spine, causing me to shiver.
Needing to see more of his skin, I move to the zipper on his jeans, thankful he left the button undone after getting dressed on the boat.
He reaches behind me to the clasp of my bra and my heart pounds. When my breasts come free, I can't help the moan that slips out, my nipples puckering from the cool air. Another shiver runs through me as he slowly slides the straps of my bra down my arms until it falls to the floor. A pained groan escapes me. I just want him to rip it off and ravage me. I need him so fucking much, my stomach tightening in anticipation.
Even though he’s c
ausing me to lose my mind, I manage not to lose all my concentration and get the zipper down, revealing his boxers.
Dean pulls me against him, kissing me once again as he moves me backwards towards the bed. Laying me down, he presses kisses from my mouth, down my neck, nipping at my skin as he goes. When he reaches my breasts, he takes my erect nipple into his mouth, his fingers twisting and pulling the other, not wanting to leave it out. I don't even recognise the sound that comes out of my mouth. My whole body feels like it's on fire and I’m so overwhelmed with emotions that I could explode at any given moment. Static flows through me, the caress intoxicating.
Lying here half naked, pressed beneath Dean’s hard body, is the most pleasurable moment I’ve ever had. As soon as I feel his thick, erection through his jeans, I move. It’s like my body has a mind of its own, pushing and rubbing against him, seeking out the right amount of friction to give me what I need.
His touch seems to be everywhere at once, leaving sparks of electricity burning along my skin.. Grabbing the belt loops on my shorts, he pushes them down my legs, taking my red lace briefs with them. I can feel the cool air hit my hot, wet folds, and my breath catches, my chest swelling.
Dean lets out a ragged breath, his liquid gaze meeting mine. For minutes he just looks down at me, his gaze searing into mine, like he’s searching my soul.
We both react at the same time; him brushing his knuckles gently down my cheek as I caress his cheek with my thumb, palming his strong jaw lovingly.
“Are you sure?” he asks, a tremor coursing through his body. I don’t think I can speak with all the emotions knotting in my throat, so I just nod, watching his eyes flare with hunger.
Dean sits up, sliding off the bed and walking over to the dresser. At first, I think he’s changed his mind and is going to leave, but my heart pounds when he reaches for his jeans. He pulls them down his legs, along with his boxers, and his erection springs free, slapping against his hard stomach.
Oh. My. God!
Dean’s erection stands proud, and I lick my lips, wondering how he tastes. He rolls a condom along his length before walking back over to the bed, his eyes never leaving mine as he settles between my thighs. He spreads my legs using his large thighs, leaving me vulnerable and open, my naked body on full display.
My emotions are scattered all over the place, jumping from excitement to lust, and then to desire and nervousness. I’m a little scared and worried too, but nothing is going to stop me from having him, from making love to him tonight.
I trust my feelings towards Dean. I know this isn’t me on the rebound or settling for the first person to be nice to me, what I feel for him is real and no one can tell me any different. I can’t explain or think of words good enough to describe the intensity of my feelings and over analysing everything isn't going to help anything.
One of his hands reaches behind my neck, guiding my lips to his as he gives me another earth-shattering kiss. The tip of his erection slides through my folds, never once entering me, but the sensation is just as breathtaking. I moan at the same time he growls into the kiss. He reaches for my hips, stopping me from rocking against him. I growl in frustration, wanting him inside me, yet all he does is chuckle.
“Lola, I need to hear you say that this is okay, baby,” he rasps out, his eyes darkening as he stares down at me.
“I’ve never wanted anything more or as desperately as I want you. I trust you with my life. I know if I need you to stop, you will. You’ll do it without hesitation and be okay with it, not once making me feel guilty. So please, Dean, make love to me,” I plead, trying to position my hips so he can enter me but he pulls back. I’m about to tear into him when the sight of him reaching between us stops me.
Dean circles his hand around his erection, pumping it once, twice before guiding himself into my wet heat, his eyes wild and filled with need. With shaky hands, I grip his shoulders, tears filling my eyes at how incredibly gentle he’s being, how different this is from what I’ve been used to.
I feel full, his length stretching me like I’ve never been stretched before. A slight sting lingers, but it soon disappears as he thrusts all the way to the hilt. Our breathing comes out ragged and fast, panting against each other.
His hands roam my backside, palming the globes as he rocks deep with slow, torturous thrusts. Moaning, I lean up and sweep my tongue into his mouth before turning it into a kiss.
My back bows off the bed when he lowers his mouth to my nipple, sucking the tight bud till he has me in a withering mess.
“Yes! More,” I beg, arching my breasts to his mouth again. My eyes close as his tongue circling my nipple, flicking it once, twice before circling all over again.
His pace is torturous, and I need more. I want more, and I know he’s holding back on me.
Licking a path up his neck, I reach his ear, biting down on his earlobe before sucking the sting away. A growl rumbles from his chest, and I feel the sound down to my toes.
“Let go! God, please, let go. I need you, all of you,” I moan. I move my hips in rhythm to his thrusts, and when I don’t get the friction I need, a frustrated curse whispers from my lips.
A guttural growl rumbles from his chest, and whatever control he was holding onto snaps. He slams into me, hitting something deep inside me that causes an earthquake to erupt. My back arches and I scream out in pleasure, all the muscles in my body tightening. I scrape my fingers down his back, placing them on his firm, tight ass as I push up then slam back down onto his erection, meeting him thrust for thrust.
Dean throws his head back, his eyes closed as an animalistic sound erupts from his mouth. At first, I think I’ve hurt him, but when his eyes meet mine, they’re full of passion, a searing hunger and if I’m not mistaken, love.
“Dean, please.” I don’t even know what I’m pleading for; I just know I need… something.
“Jesus, Lo. I’m not going to last long. God, you’re so fucking tight, and so fucking beautiful. Fuck! You’re sexy, and you feel so fucking incredible,” he rasps out, and I smile up at him.
Feeling full and out of control, I drive my hips up before plunging down on him. The sounds of our flesh slapping together echoes around the room, our bodies slick with sweat as we move together.
His thrusts become punishing, and I wrap my legs around his waist, he goes deeper. I’m so overwhelmed that I don’t know my left to my right.
My head is spinning, and with each thrust, he manages to unleash another cry from me. With each cry, my muscles tingle. God, my entire core is tightening, waves of pleasure coursing through. I don’t think I’m going to last much longer.
My tongue snakes out, licking his nipples before biting down gently, causing his abdominal muscles to tighten.
My moans grow louder, as do Dean’s, his thrusts deeper, harder. The intensity has my body heating all over.
He reaches down, rubbing his thumb against my clit in a circular motion. I scream out in pleasure, wanting to fall over the edge but I hold on, willing my body to last because I don’t want this to ever to end between us.
“Let go, Lo. Come for me. I want to feel you come apart around my cock. I want to hear you scream my name,” Dean rasps, his dick pulsing inside me at the same time his fingers press harder, moving faster on my clit.
With his dirty words and hard thrusts, I shatter, my core spasming as a million tiny volts shoot through it, a strangled cry echoing around the room.
I don’t have time to come down before Dean’s thrusts become harder, ragged. Even though I’m still shaking and sensitive from my first orgasm, he manages to bring me into another one, my voice hoarse from calling out his name.
Dean grunts into my neck as my body shakes with tremors. Seconds later he’s throwing his head back, releasing his own sound of pleasure as he releases inside me, his dick twitching with each spurt of cum.
He pulls out slowly, and I gasp at the sudden twinge of soreness between my legs. A part of me wishes he could stay inside me forever. He takes
in a deep ragged breath before throwing the condom into the bin by the side of my bed.
My sex stings a little, feeling raw, but I like knowing that Dean is the reason it’s there, and it’s caused by pleasure instead of the pain that I’m used to.
He rolls to his side, pulling me to his chest, his breathing unsteady and heavy just like mine. I feel like I’ve just run a marathon.
He lazily turns his head. “Lola, that was… fuck! I don’t even know what that was, but it felt incredible.”
I lean over to kiss his chest. “Yes, you were pretty incredible, Mr Salvatore,” I tease, and he smiles against my head.
“No, Lola, you were amazing. Nothing can compare to what we just shared. Thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your body and letting me make love to you.”
I inhale deeply, hearing him say those words doing funning things to my insides. I reach up to kiss his mouth quickly, not expecting him to deepen the kiss.
My eyes widen when he begins to stir, his erection pressing against my hip. I start laughing at how insatiable he is.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, lifting one eyebrow questioningly. God, he’s sexy when he does that. I can’t help but stare, still amazed at what this man did to my body.
“Um...,” I giggle, pointing down to his erection.
He laughs with me, rolling so he’s on top of me. The movement causes his erection to rub against my sensitive sex, making me moan once more.
“When it comes to you, my dick is always hard. And now that I’ve see you naked it’s going to a permanent fixture. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You’re strong, passionate, caring, sexy, attractive, sensitive, funny, and most of all, you’re just… you. I love everything about you,” he says, a sexy grin tugging at his lips.
My heart starts beating rapidly against my chest as a realisation smacks me in the face. I’m in love with Dean Salvatore.
I can run from my past, but there’s no running from my feelings for him. I don’t want the only relationship I’ve ever had to be the one that defines my life. I won’t let Rick ruin my chances at future happiness when he’s already taken so much from me.
If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1) Page 17