Loving Protector

by Sally Quilford

  “I think I have made my feelings plain,” said Lady Bedlington.

  “With all due respect, Your Ladyship, I think you are being unkind.”

  “With all due respect, Miss Kirkham, I have reached an age when I can say what I wish. Mr. Purbeck seeks to deny the rightful heir to the Duchy of Midchester. I think you will find, despite your dreams and fantasies, that society has different ideas and that such a thing will not be so easy. All the rightful heir has to do is claim his inheritance and all Mr. Purbeck’s plans are as dust.”

  “Mr. Purbeck says that the duke’s heir said he did not want to bear his father’s name and title. He told his father he would rather starve in a garret than to do so. How can a son say such a thing to his father?”

  “Perhaps,” said the Colonel, “he had good reason.”

  Calista looked at the Colonel and an idea began to form. Purbeck had been cold towards him. Lady Bedlington had made a point earlier of indicating Purbeck’s interest in the title, but the Colonel had insisted that the duke may dispense of his lands and titles as he wished.

  “Mr. Purbeck says that the duke’s son is a dreadful man. Proud and stubborn.”

  “Blanche,” said Evelyn in her quiet way. “I do not think that it is correct for you to criticize a man you have never met.”

  “And one to whom I’m related,” said Lady Bedlington.

  “You’re related…” Blanche’s face turned ashen. “I had no idea. I mean…”

  For Calista that gave her the proof she needed that the Colonel was the Duke’s son. She realized his eyes were piercing into her, as if he followed her train of thought.

  “Miss Haywood,” he said, when the other ladies were leaving the room to go up and change for dinner. “Could I speak to you alone for a moment?”

  Lady Bedlington glanced back and smiled. “You are allowed five minutes with her, Brook. Anymore than that and I will barge in on you.”

  Her Ladyship herded the others out of the room and shut the door.

  “What is it, Colonel?”

  “I suspect you have guessed my secret.”

  “You are the duke’s son?”

  “Yes, but I would be grateful if you could keep that to yourself and do not even tell your step-mother and step-sister.”

  “But surely others know. I think Mr. Purbeck does. He seemed to look at you strangely.”

  “No, Purbeck has other reasons to dislike me. I was once romantically attached to his elder sister. Unfortunately I found out that she was had already made a promise of marriage to another man. She told her family that I abandoned her, and I did not dispute the fact. If it salvaged her pride to think so, I was not about to deny her that small victory.”

  “What I mean is that surely others know who you are anyway?”

  “Great Aunt Agatha does, of course. But I took my mother’s family name as soon as I was old enough. People know that my father has a son, but they do not know my birth name, and he has never acknowledged me publicly. I have seen my father twice in my life. Once when I was a baby, which naturally I do not remember. Apparently he came to see me at our relative’s house, took one look at me and walked away. And once again when I called him out.”

  “Would it be rude of me to ask why you did that?”

  “My father may be a gentleman by birth but he is not a gentleman by deed. My late mother was sixteen when they married. It was arranged by the families so there were no illusions about it being a love match. However, from the very beginning my father treated her abominably, both physically and mentally. He was violent, and he paraded his mistresses in front of her in her own home. When she was seventeen years old and expecting me, she fled my father’s house and went back to her family, fearing for her life after my father had flown into a drunken rage, egged on by his current mistress.” The colonel’s eyes became dark and brooding, as if the pain of thinking of his mother’s suffering were too much for him. “They protected her, of course, but she never spoke out against my father publicly. You are aware, I am sure, of the double standards that exist in society, Miss Haywood. A man, especially a nobleman, may behave as he pleases, but his wife must always be above reproach and is expected to put up with ill treatment in silence. She has no recourse in a court of law, and my father would not divorce her.” The Colonel’s eyes became sad. “My mother died when I was five years old, but her family, perhaps mindful of the way she was treated, refused to let me return to my father for fear he may treat me just as badly. As it stands, they paid me a very great favour in doing so. I did go to my father when I was twenty-one, hoping to find him changed. It was a foolish notion.” He fell silent for a while, as if he was seeing the scene in his mind’s eye. Calista, transfixed by the tragic story he told, said nothing. “I suppose I thought that as he had come to see me when I was born, he had some interest in me. He denounced me on the spot. He said that my mother was a …” He drew in his breath sharply. “I shall not share that word with you. I will only assure you that my mother was everything that was good and pure in this world. That is not a son’s delusion. That is the opinion of everyone who knew her. My father denied that I was his son. I was furious. Not for me, but for the insult he paid my dear, gentle mother. So I challenged him to a duel. It was illegal to do so, and still is, but I felt that I owed it to my mother who had been so badly treated to protect her good name. I was a better shot than my father, but still I only winged him, simply to make my point. That was when he disowned me completely, saying that if I ever tried for the dukedom he would leave word with his lawyers that I was not his true heir. He claimed he had proof that my mother deceived him.”

  “But that is not true.” Calista felt a lump in her throat. Having been loved and protected by both her parents, and then by Evelyn, she could hardly comprehend a father treating his wife and son so badly.

  The Colonel smiled sadly. “No, I am sure it is not. From the time she married till she left at seventeen, my mother was seldom in anyone’s company but my father’s. He made sure of that, so that his cruelty would not be discovered. But I would still not have her name sullied. Mud, as you know, Miss Haywood, sticks. I do not mind for myself. I have made my own fortune, and distinguished myself as a soldier. If I were thrown out of society because that society believed me to be illegitimate, I would survive. The hypocrisy that exists is astounding. The only commandment of the nobility is ‘thou shalt not be found out’. I do not care if my father does disown me publicly as well as privately. But I will not stand by and let anyone cast aspersions on my mother’s character. Not after all she suffered at his hands.”

  “I am so sorry for both your suffering,” said Calista, as a tear slipped from her eye. She had an image of an eager young man, hoping that his father would accept him, despite everything. It must have hurt the Colonel far more than he pretended.

  “I cannot say I suffered. My mother made sure of that by taking me to a safe haven where I was loved and nurtured.”

  “It must have hurt deeply when your father disowned you.”

  “Do not imbue me with a sensitivity I do not have, Miss Haywood. I can honestly say I hate my father, and am just as happy to disown him.” Despite his words, Calista believed he was telling a lie. She could not blame him. It was no doubt a way of protecting himself against the pain of his father’s behaviour.

  “I believe your five minutes are up,” said Lady Bedlington from the door. She smiled kindly at Calista, who curtseyed and went to leave the room. As Calista turned into the corridor, out of the corner of her eye she saw Lady Bedlington move across the room and put her hand on the colonel’s arm in a touching gesture, murmuring something in sympathetic tones that Calista did not quite hear.

  Calista only wished that she had the courage to touch him in the same way. She would have done anything to take away his pain.

  “What on earth did the Colonel want with you?” said Blanche when Calista arrived at their sitting room.

  “He is renovating his house and asked my opinion on some
things,” said Calista. She wished she did not have to deal with Blanche of all people. She felt moved by the colonel’s story and wanted to be alone to think about it. To think about him.

  “Your opinion? Oh well, I am sure that is his way of trying to include you. Just like his insistence you go to Almacks. I think he feels sorry for you. Do not think he will marry you, Calista. You are far too unimportant for a man like the colonel.”

  “Blanche,” said Calista, her temper rising. “Do you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?” She brushed past Evelyn, ignoring the fact that her step-mother reached out for her, and went into her room, slamming the door after her.

  She heard Blanche’s muffled tones through the door. “Mama, how could you let her speak to me in such a way? And me about to become a duchess.”

  Calista lay on her bed in the darkened room, thinking of all she had been told. She realized how lucky she had been, to be raised first by two parents who loved each other dearly, with a gentle father and loving mother, and then to have Evelyn as a step-mother. Admittedly Blanche could be a problem, but even she did not behave violently towards Calista.

  After half an hour, the door opened a little. “Calista…” It was Evelyn. “May I come in, dearest?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Evelyn shut the door and came to sit on the edge of Calista’s bed. “Blanche’s words have hurt more than ever, have they not?”

  “No, I do not care what Blanche says.”

  Evelyn stroked Calista’s arm. “Oh I think you did then. I have known you to defend yourself to her, but never to give way to temper.”

  “I am sorry.”

  “You do not have to apologise to me, child. Nor to Blanche for that matter. She goes too far and it is good for her to be told when she is wrong. You like the colonel, do you not?”

  “Of course, he is a very fine gentleman.”

  “No, I mean you like him as a man. I was young once. I know that look in your eyes. But something else has upset you. Why did he wish to speak to you? Has he said something offensive to you?”

  “Oh no, he would never do such a thing, Evelyn. I am afraid I am sworn to secrecy. I cannot tell you.”

  “Very well, I will respect that. You are a good girl, Calista. I am sure he likes you too.”

  “Blanche is right, I am sure. He just feels sorry for me and wishes to be kind. Not that I expect him to want to marry me. Unlike Blanche, I do not see every man I meet as a potential husband.”

  “No, I think that when you fall in love, it will be once only and it will be the love of a lifetime.” Evelyn smiled.

  “Is that how you felt about Blanche’s father? When you married him, I mean.”

  “No. Not really. We were fond of each other. At first but… I am afraid I have my secrets too child. Some that are too painful to share and some that might explode and…”

  “What?” Calista sat up. “What is it, Evelyn? You may trust me with anything, I hope you know that.”

  “Yes, I know, dear, but I fear from the look in your eyes that you are the keeper of enough secrets at the moment. When Blanche is safely married and nothing can be undone… then I may tell you. I can only hope that you will not think unkindly of me.”

  “I am sorry if you have known pain,” said Calista, taking Evelyn’s hand in hers. “I would do anything to spare you from it.”

  A tear formed in Evelyn’s eye and rolled down her cheek. “You are a dear girl and I love you as my own. We will find happiness you and I, Calista. I know it.”

  “But first we have to get Blanche married off,” Calista said impishly. “I am sure there will be any number of Dukes in Almacks. Or Earls or Marquises. Perhaps now we are no longer at war with France, we could marry her off to a nice French diplomat and then she will go and live abroad.”

  “You should not make me laugh at such things,” said Evelyn, giggling. “Blanche is my daughter after all.”

  “I am sorry,” said Calista, becoming serious.

  “No, darling, do not be.” Evelyn squeezed her hand. “I love your humour and Blanche does rather deserve it at times. Maybe we could even find a Russian diplomat. That is even further away.”

  “Knowing Blanche she will be running Russia within six months. She will certainly give the Tsar a run for his money.”

  “You are a wicked girl and I am not listening anymore.” Evelyn paused before bursting out laughing again. “I gather Siberia is an interesting place to live.”

  The bedroom door burst open. “What on earth are you two laughing about? You’re disturbing my sleep? I must look beautiful for tonight.”

  “You always look beautiful, Blanche,” said Calista, determined to be kind to Blanche to make up for her recent cattiness.

  “What do you want, Calista?” Blanche’s dark eyes narrowed.

  “Nothing.”

  “You must want something. You are never kind to me.”

  “I have always tried to be, Blanche.”

  “Then you should try harder.” Blanche left, slamming the door.

  “Oh dear,” said Evelyn, “the poor Tsar.”

  Calista fell back on the bed, laughing hysterically.

  Chapter Five

  Almacks was packed to the brim with nobility of all kinds, and along with the young women taking their first official steps into society. Both Blanche and Calista were presented to the patronesses, who looked upon them both with favour.

  “Do you enjoy visiting Almacks?” Calista asked Lady Bedlington as they made their way to the ballroom. Blanche had spied Mr. Purbeck across the room and made a rather undignified beeline for him, closely followed by her embarrassed mother.

  “Not very much, child. It is grand enough but the patronesses insist no alcohol is served on the premises. Only lemonade. In my experience one cannot face the majority of the nobility without a strong drink to hand.”

  Calista laughed. “I think I am already drunk on the atmosphere.” It was certainly heady. Everyone was dressed in their finery, and Calista could not remember when she had seen more beautiful gowns and in every conceivable colour. The simple pale blue gown she wore seemed drab by comparison. Her fair hair had been set up in the French style, and was adorned with a wide blue ribbon to match her dress. She instinctively put her hand to her hair, hoping that nothing was out of place.

  “You need not worry, child,” said Lady Bedlington. “You look utterly charming.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Ah, and I think my great nephew thinks so too.”

  “He is here?” Calista looked towards the door and saw the colonel arriving. He was dressed in black, and whereas most of the other men wore knee breaches and garters, he wore the new style drainpipe trousers made famous by Beau Brummell. Calista could not help thinking that it made him look more masculine than the other men.

  “You seem surprised, child.”

  “Only because yesterday he told me that he did not care for society, so I did not think he would come to a place like this.”

  “Perhaps he has good reason.”

  The colonel walked across to them, and as he did, Calista saw that nearly every woman’s eyes followed his progress.

  “Good evening, Brook. Miss Haywood was just saying that she did not expect to see you here.”

  The colonel smiled. “Normally I cannot abide these gatherings, but I wanted to witness Miss Haywood’s first official step into society. How are you finding it, Miss Haywood?”

  “Rather overwhelming at the moment,” said Calista. “I’m terrified of saying and doing the wrong thing.”

  “I am sure you would never do either. Would you like to dance? Or is your dance card already filled?”

  It was on Calista’s lips to say that even if it were, she would make a space for him. Instead she said, “I think all the young men are waiting to see if my step-sister is available first.”

  “Then their loss is my gain.”

  “This should be interesting,” said Lady Bedlington, wryly. “
I have never seen you dance, Brook.”

  “I’ll have you know I’m famed for my dancing Aunt Agatha. Though not necessarily for good reasons.”

  The dances in Almacks were mostly square dances or country jigs, so there was not much chance to talk to the colonel. All Calista knew is that each time she took his hand to do a turn, a thrill ran through her. She could feel the heat emanating through his gloves and hers. She wished that no one else would ask her to dance all night, and that he could be her only partner. Despite his joke, he danced very well.

  As soon as the dance ended, other young men began to flock around her, quickly filling up her dance card. She kept one space empty at the end, hoping that the colonel might ask her again so that the evening might end as enjoyably as it started . While she was dancing with others, she was acutely aware of his eyes following her, as he stood next to his great aunt’s chair, and was surprised to see that he did not ask any other ladies to dance. Some of them fluttered around him, speaking in hopeful tones, but after a few polite words from him, they moved away.

  “I am so charmed to meet you, Miss Haywood,” said one young man, whose name she had missed.

  “That is very kind. Thank you.” The dance was slower, so she and the young man had more chance to talk.

  “Tell me, do you know if your step-sister’s dance card is full yet?” And that was when Calista realized that the young men dancing with her really were only waiting their turn with Blanche. “I have no idea, sir. Perhaps you should ask her.”

  “Yes, yes, I should really. But … she is so exquisite. So unreachable. I dare not.”

  “She does not bite,” said Calista with a smile. Even as she said it, she doubted her own words. “I am sure she will be delighted to dance with you.”

  “Purbeck is monopolizing her. It’s really bad show, don’t you know? One is supposed to circulate at these events.”

  That explained why the colonel had not asked Calista for another dance. At least she hoped that was the reason. “They say he will be the next Duke of Midchester,” the young man continued. “Old Midchester picks up and drops favourites at the drop of a hat. Everyone knows that. My brother was a favourite last year, but then the fool went and married an actress. I ask you.” The young man droned on in that vein throughout the dance, so that by the time it ended, Calista breathed a sigh of relief.