“But as I’ve tried to tell Evelyn all along,” said Mr. Benedict, “had you not been provided for, you would always have a home with us.”
“It is all academic now,” said Brook. “We are very happy together, Calista and I. I can only wish you both the same joy.”
His words should have made Calista more content, but they only served to disturb her more. It was true they were happy together, but how long would that last when he grew tired of her in his bed? She put her feelings of pessimism down to tiredness. It had been a stressful few days, when she had not slept very well. And once Brook awoke, he gave her other reasons not to sleep. She suddenly longed for the privacy of a bedroom of her own and wondered how to broach the subject when the others had left.
“I think I may have an early night,” she said when they were alone. She could not look at him, so she stared into the fireplace.
“Yes, we will go up straight after dinner.”
“What I mean is that I’m very tired.”
“I see… Have I displeased you in any way?” What a question! He had certainly not displeased her, but she could feel herself being subsumed to his will again, and losing herself in the process.
“No, but you must be very tired too. You really have done too much since yesterday.”
“I would not have it any other way. Calista…”
“What?”
“Look at me.”
Reluctantly she turned around.
“I have said all along that I want us to have a proper marriage.”
“Yes, I know. But I am so tired and…”
“Then we will go to bed and sleep. That too is part of a proper marriage, is it not? Sleeping together in the same bed?”
“I do not think we will sleep.”
He smiled so seductively that she almost threw herself at him. “If sleep is what you need, then sleep is what we shall do. You have my word of honour I shall not … bother you.” His lips curled up at the corners again.
She was the one to crumble first, having led next to him for half an hour, trying to pretend she was not acutely aware of his presence beside her. She tried to make it seem casual, as if she were just checking to see if he still breathed by putting her hand on his chest. She did not fool him. He was already attuned to her moods.
“You are a very demanding woman,” he said with a grin, before gathering her up in his arms.
When she awoke, very late the following morning, Brook was not lying next to her. Panicking, she jumped out of bed and threw on her dressing gown. She had a sudden image of him having got up in the night and collapsed on his way to the bathroom, or perhaps even having fallen downstairs. The fact that the servants would most certainly had found him and let her know if the latter had happened, did not occur to her due to her overwhelming fear for his safety.
She rushed to the bathroom, but it was empty. She was just about to head to the staircase when she saw Brook coming out of the room that had once been the drawing room. “There you are,” he said with a smile. He was fully dressed, looking refreshed and handsome.
“I was worried about you.”
“I’m sorry, I would have let you know, but you were very tired last night and I knew I should not be selfish and wake you again. As much as I wanted to.” His eyes moved over her body, and she was aware of not being nearly as well dressed as he was.
“I should go and get dressed.”
“Not yet. I have something I wanted to show you. The reason I got up early. I take it you have not seen this room yet.”
“Erm … no, the servants said that only you had the key.”
“That is correct. I was going to surprise you with it on our wedding day, only events rather took over.” He held out his hand to her. “Come, I have been spending the morning making sure everything is just right.”
To her surprise, when she reached him, he swept her up in his arms. “This,” he said, “is to make up for not carrying you over the threshold on our wedding day. And if I am honest, I prefer to do it now, as I show you this room. You inspired it.”
He carried her through the door, and she glanced around, her eyes widening in surprise and delight when she saw that he had created a magnificent library, just as she had suggested. The two walls had been knocked down, creating a room that was some one hundred feet long. “Not quite as big as the library at Blenheim,” he said.
“Oh I do not mind. It is wonderful, wonderful! Put me down so I can take a proper look.”
“I am not sure I want to.”
“You can hardly carry me up and down the room. You are still not as well as you think you are.”
“Very well, I will put you down just this once.”
Calista practically skipped up and down the room, marveling at the rows of books. Some were very old, whilst others with the latest editions of the most popular novels. The room had been furnished with plush sofas and chairs, with plenty of space for lounging and reading. Floor to ceiling sash windows let in the light so that it almost felt as though they were standing outside. The air was filled with the scent of dozens of vases of flowers.
“I had to replace all the original flowers,” Brook explained. “Naturally they had not survived being locked up for several days. So that is what I wanted to do this morning, before you awoke.”
“Thank you, it’s just … oh, it’s magnificent. Even better than I imagined it.”
“Nothing quite worked out as I wanted it to,” Brook said more seriously. He perched on the arm of one of the chairs.
“No, I realize that,” said Calista, feeling as if the light had gone out of the room. “I know that you only ever meant to offer me your protection, but I will try and be a good wife to you. As you said we are happy…”
Brook had jumped up from the arm of the chair, looking very angry. “Protection? Who said so?”
“You did. When we were watching Evelyn and Mr. Benedict in the garden. You said you would protect me. And Blanche thought…”
“Blanche? Why does everything always come down to that witch? You thought I offered you my protection? That I was asking you to be my mistress?”
“Were you not?”
“No I damn well was not.”
“Oh, then if I misunderstood…”
“You most certainly did. What sort of man do you take me for?”
“I…”
“Good God. No wonder you seemed so upset to be marrying me, if you think I am the sort of man who would ask an innocent girl of twenty to be his mistress. Is that how I appear to you?”
“No, of course not.”
“I hoped, Calista, I hoped against hope that once we were married you might come to love me. But how could you ever love me, believing such a thing? Dammit, Calista!”
She wanted to tell him that she did love him, only she was not yet sure enough of him. “Why should it matter if I love you or not?”
“Do you really have to ask that? Why else would I step in and stop you from marrying that oaf, Garton? I could not bear to think of him touching you. Believe me when I say I was ready to kill him for even thinking it.”
“I thought you only married me to be noble and kind. I thought you loved Blanche, because she is so much more beautiful than I am.”
“Blanche!” He laughed bitterly. “I would no more let that woman in my life than I would a viper. Oh she set her cap at me, until she realized she might have bigger fish to fry, but I am not as stupid as young Purbeck. Or perhaps I am an even bigger fool.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was going to propose to you in this room, until events overtook us. I know that most women like to be proposed to in a garden, but I thought this was more suited to you. I was going to fill it with flowers, at least to make it seem a bit like a garden, then bring you here and say everything to you that I know women like to hear…”
“No…”
“I see. You do not want to hear it. Then I am sorry I have wasted my time.”
“No, Brook. I do
not want you to say what you think I want to hear. I just want you to say what is in your heart.”
“Why, have I not made a big enough fool of myself?”
“No. I mean, you’re not a fool. I was wrong about you offering me your protection, and I am sorry, but it never occurred to me that you would ever feel for me what I feel for you.” She knew she was going to have to be brave again. Even if it meant him laughing in her face. “I love you. I’ve always loved you, but I thought you only married me to save me from Garton and I was afraid that if I told you how I felt, it would make you feel more responsible for me. I wanted to give you a chance to escape…”
“Escape?” Brook had crossed the room without her realizing. He pulled her into his arms. “Don’t you know that I’ve been in your captivity since the first day I met you? I don’t want to escape. I love you, Calista. I have loved you from the moment I opened the carriage door and saw your brave, beautiful face glaring at me, determined to face your attacker head on. That was the woman I fell in love with. The same woman who stood up to my father.” He stroked her hair. “I think that you have been so overshadowed by Blanche’s personality all these years, so convinced that she is better than you that you really have no idea how much more beautiful you are.”
He loved her! It was all she had ever wanted to hear. “You said that the Earl of Garton’s taste was for homely women.”
“You did not see his first wife…”
“But he wanted to marry me.”
“Then he showed some rare good taste.”
“That was very well saved,” said Calista, with a wicked grin, “but I know what you said about him preferring homely women.”
“Well, perhaps you do give off a homely air sometimes, with that innocent face of yours.” He kissed her neck and laughed softly. “But he has not seen you as I’ve seen you.”
She blushed and hid her head in his shoulder. To say how intimate they had been over the past couple of days, she suddenly felt as if everything between them was brand new, even the intimacy. “I’m glad you saved me from him,” she whispered. “I could not bear to think…”
Brook held her closer still, and she was aware of his lips tightening. “No, neither can I, so do not even think of it. You’re mine, and I promise I will protect you. Not in the disgusting way you thought, but as my wife, as my love.”
“And I’ll protect you too.”
“I have no doubt about that my little Boadicea.”
The End
Loving Protector Page 13