by Virna DePaul
But it would never be with Logan. I’d always be wondering how long I had with him, when he’d leave again… whose number was in his wallet. I couldn’t create a future with a guy I couldn’t depend on for the long haul.
Jared had been a godsend. If not for him, I would have moped all night. I’d rented a drama but it was so badly done, we laughed through most of it. It almost took my mind completely off him.
The next morning, I slowed at the curb in front of Logan’s house and grabbed the documents. Just before I got to the front door, he opened it and waved me in.
“How’d your date go last night with, uh… Jared? That was his name, right? Did he take you some place nice? Have fun?” He rapid-fired the questions as I stepped into the entryway.
I cocked my head. “Jealous?”
“A little.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Okay, a lot.”
I believed him. But it wasn’t enough for me.
Scanning the living room for a flat surface, I found the coffee table. “You ready to sign?”
“Absolutely.” He joined me, kneeling on the floor.
“If they accept your offer and we open escrow, you’ll need to make the good faith deposit.”
“No problem.” Logan diligently signed every place I indicated then I stuck the papers back in the folder and stood.
“I’ll get these faxed later today and let you know as soon as I hear from them.”
“Okay.” He shadowed me as I made a dash for the exit. “But you didn’t answer my question.”
“What question?”
“How was your date? Where did he take you?”
“Uh…” I looked down at my toes. Logan was being way too nosy. I could tell him to mind his own business but he’d only be more certain that I loved him. “We decided to stay in.”
Logan’s eye twitched. “The whole night?”
I’d never tell Logan that Jared and I were no longer romantically involved — or why. “No. He left early since he sees morning patients. Do you want the blow-by-blow, everything we did last night?” I lifted my chin, daring him to push but hoping he didn’t.
“No.” He shifted his weight to his other foot. “That was plenty.”
***
I slogged into the office and sunk into my chair, leaned back and closed my eyes.
The specialty inspections had gone fairly well, better than most houses. But Mr. Fellows wouldn’t see it that way. I could feel a cancellation coming on.
Glancing at my monitor, I saw an email from the listing agent of Logan’s house. Crap. It had been less than twenty-four hours since I’d sent Logan’s offer to the other realtor and I’d already gotten an answer. If I’d been less efficient and faxed it the next morning, I could have dragged out the entire process and possibly had a forty-eight hour break from Logan. Long enough to get over him.
Who was I kidding? I couldn’t totally get over him in nine years, much less two days. And poor pathetic me couldn’t wait to see Logan to give him the news. Calling him would be healthier for me. But I always met my clients in person to go over the terms. I couldn’t give Logan any less. Besides, if he accepted the counter, he had to sign off on it. I had to see him that morning whether I wanted to or not.
I picked up the phone to call him but it rang before I got to it. I cursed my heart for jumping at the prospect of Logan calling me.
It was Mr. Fellows.
“I’m sorry, Shelby, but I’m canceling escrow. The combined total for the electrical, the roof and chimney repairs could be forty to sixty grand to fix everything. I didn’t sign on for a fixer.”
My stomach dropped. He was going to cancel on me again. All that hard work for nothing.
Hearing a knock in the doorway to my office, I looked up to see Logan. I held up a finger so he would give me a minute and he leaned against the doorjamb. I turned away from the beautiful and distracting man to give Mr. Fellows my full attention.
“You figured it needed a little bit of work when we put in the offer. We knew about the roof from the beginning and the sellers warned you about the wonky electrical. I’ll admit the chimney issues are a surprise but even if you spent forty grand on that, it’s pretty minor considering you’re buying a house for 2.5 million that appraised for over three.”
My eyes stung. I’d been babying Mr. Fellows for months and months. I thought we’d finally found the right house and I’d worked so hard, put in so many hours, all to have it cancel for some stupid reason.
“You’re saying I shouldn’t worry about a few grand? Maybe if it was your money, you’d think differently,” he snapped.
“No, that’s not what I meant. Look, why don’t we put in a request for repairs or ask them to give you a credit? See what they say.”
“Fine. Do that.” He hung up.
I buried my face in my hands. “Stupid man,” I mumbled.
“You okay?” Logan asked.
I’d forgotten he was there. “Yes, I’m fine. Just frustrated is all.”
“Lance Fellows, right?”
“Yeah.”
“The guy’s huge in the car industry. Owns most of the dealerships around here. You’d think he’d never bought a house before.”
“Oh, he has. That’s the problem. He’s been burned.” I shook my head. “I was just about to call you. Have a seat.” I printed out the counter offer and handed it to him. “It’s a fair counter.”
He didn’t answer, just picked up a pen and began signing. When he’d initialed the last spot, he slid the papers across the table toward me. “Let’s celebrate.”
I stood and walked to the door as a hint that business was concluded. “Nothing to celebrate yet. As Mr. Fellows has proved over and over, the deal isn’t done until escrow closes.”
“Let’s go out anyway.” He rose and stood toe-to-toe with me.
“No, Logan. I’m not interested. I’d think you’d want your women willing.” My insides knotted when his scent reached my nose, a mixture of after-shave and soap. “I’ll stop by tomorrow and get your deposit check then I’ll open escrow.”
“Willing?” he asked. “You love me. You want me. The only reason the willingness is lacking is because you believe I don’t return your feelings. But I do. I love you, Shelby.”
“I judge people by what they do, Logan. And all I know is that we were in love, or so I thought, and you dumped me. You also kissed some random girl and didn’t have the guts to tell me. If you want to convince me how sincere you are, then prove it.”
The next instant, he pulled me to him by my waist with one hand, reached behind my neck with the other and dove. His mouth closed over mine and I opened as if in a trance, my tongue delving into territory all too familiar. The years melted away as if he’d never been gone. Sweet memories rushed me and I wanted to relive them. I pushed myself against him, taking the kiss deeper. Logan spun us around and bumped my back into the wall. A tiny yelp of pleasure escaped my throat and my pulse quickened as his lips found my neck and my hands snaked up his shirt to touch those delicious abs. But it wasn’t enough. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed his hips against mine. Heat coursed threw me and I almost moaned.
“I love you, Shelby,” he whispered in my ear.
Crap. Back to reality. I flattened my palms against his stomach and pushed. “No, you don’t.”
“I do. And that kiss just proved how much you love me.”
I snorted. “You’re not that naïve. If every steamy kiss meant true love, people would be getting married left and right.”
“Ouch.” He covered his heart with one hand. “Cold hearted.”
“You made me that way. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Snatching my purse, I headed out on wobbly knees, praying he wouldn’t follow. If he pushed any more today, he’d see what a fraud I was.
At the end of escrow, once Logan had the keys to his new home, I’d be done with him. Except that Logan’s persistence and what appeared to be sincerity had already gotten to me. Again. Whether I fled the country
or stayed in Sacramento, my heart would still break because he’d still dump me. Since my fate was sealed, it almost didn’t matter if I slept with him or not. At least sex with him would give me an outlet for my frustration. But the sting of being dumped would increase tenfold by having completely given myself to him in that way again. My broken heart would heal faster with my pride intact. No, I would not sleep with Logan Starks again.
CHAPTER SIX
“It’s Saturday and you’re working?” Ginny asked.
“Yeah, I need to put Logan in escrow then I have to see if I can save the Fellows deal.” I groaned. “He’s such a nice guy but he’s torturing me.”
“I always thought Logan was nice.”
“No, not Logan.” I rolled my eyes even though Ginny couldn’t see me through the cell phone. “Mr. Fellows. He’s about to cancel escrow.”
“Again?” Ginny squeaked.
“Not if I can help it. I’ll come by around noon,” I said.
“Great. What’s your agenda? Shopping, nails or lunch?”
I grinned. “How about all of the above?”
Ginny laughed. “See you then. And don’t think you’re getting out of spilling all the details on you and Logan.”
“There is no me and Logan.” I hung up and got to work.
The escrow company didn’t work on Saturdays but Logan didn’t know that. If he was bluffing, I wanted to know today rather than wait two days until Monday. Much to my surprise, when I arrived on his doorstep, Logan had the good faith deposit already written and waiting. I’d half expected him to try to delay me but when I turned to go, all he said was goodbye.
Strange. He didn’t look beaten down or dejected. Or hostile. Just… preoccupied. He probably had another woman waiting. An actress come to visit him, more likely. Regardless of the mystery woman’s profession, Logan had changed his mind about me already. I shouldn’t have any feelings about that. And I didn’t. The only thing I felt was emptiness… a big hole in my heart that might not close this time, never heal.
I went back to the office, called Mr. Fellows to discuss the figures and confirm his request, then typed it up. “Remember, today’s Saturday. I seriously doubt they’ll reply before Monday. Let’s just hang tight, okay?”
He agreed and my breath whooshed out in relief. If he changed his mind and called to cancel, I wouldn’t answer my phone. Even workaholics needed time to decompress once in a while. For the rest of the weekend, I was just a regular girl.
I turned off my computer, locked up and left my work behind me.
At the mall, Ginny and I hit our favorite stores.
“What made you do it, Ginny? How did Logan make you a believer?” I held up a red blouse and examined the fabric.
“Believer in what?” she asked. “Oh, that color will look fabulous on you.”
“That he loves me. After what he did?” I added the blouse to the to-be-tried-on stack.
“Maybe he had his reasons, Shel. Have you talked to him about it yet?” She eyed a pair of jeans then moved on.
“What’s the point? He dumped me. End of story.”
“Maybe there’s more to that story.”
“Ginny, seriously?” We’d gone shopping to relax but the topic was undoing all the calm I’d collected over the last hour. My shoulders stiffened and I took a deep breath.
She stopped skimming the racks to study me. “I’d been a third wheel with you two for years. I watched you guys a lot and I’m telling you, Shel, that boy was madly in love with you.”
“Then he left. Now there’s a string of women.”
Ginny scoffed. “Please. That’s only according to the tabloids. Just because he’s seen with a woman doesn’t mean he’s sleeping with her. Do you sleep with every guy you talk to?”
She had me there. A flash of Logan’s kiss the day before invaded my brain, making me feel twitchy. “This topic is not exactly therapeutic. Can we talk about something else?”
She smiled. “For now. Let’s go to the fitting room.”
By the end of the day, we’d eaten too much to fathom fitting into our new clothes but our toes glittered. Ginny leaned over from the passenger side and hugged me when I pulled up in front of her house. “Go do your workout or whatever else, then come back for the party around eight, okay?”
I hugged her back. “I had fun today.”
“Me, too.” She smiled and got out of the car.
“Hey, Gin?”
She paused and turned back to face me.
“You didn’t invite Logan, did you?”
She chuckled. “For someone so intent on not getting involved with him, you sure do give him lots of time in your head.”
My brows drew together. “Did you?”
Ginny shook her head and closed the car door. “No. But it’s my birthday and I want to have fun. I’ve invited quite a few people and some of them know Logan. I wouldn’t put it past him to weasel an invite from somewhere. It’s what I’d do if I was a man in love.” At that she grinned and took off.
Crap. Everyone around here knew Logan, hometown boy who made it big. Ditching my best friend’s birthday party was out of the question. I could only hope that he found something more exciting to do.
***
What did my eyes behold as soon as I walked through the door of Ginny’s house? Logan and Jared. Talking. To each other. Well, good — easier to avoid both of them if they’re together. But why were they conversing? Did they already know each other?
Logan spotted me almost as soon as I crossed the threshold, followed by Jared. Each lifted his glass at me and smiled. Shit. They had to have been talking about me.
“Shelby! Finally.” Ginny hugged me as though we hadn’t just seen each other a couple hours ago. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d changed your mind.” She nodded toward the two hottest guys in the room. “Or bolted once you saw them.”
“I must admit, the thought did cross my mind,” I said, my mouth twitching.
“Don’t you dare.” Ginny wagged a finger at me. “This is my birthday.”
“If I did bail, it would be your own fault for letting those two in.” I raised one brow.
“What’s wrong with Jared? I thought you two had fun the other night.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s kinda creepy that they’re both over there ogling me?”
“Awkward, yes.” She grinned and patted my shoulder. “You’re gonna have to toughen up.”
“That seems to be my life story right now.”
“You could end it. Just takes one word — yes.” She jerked her head toward the kitchen. “Let’s get you a drink.”
I followed her but waited until we’d passed the hotties. “End it? What do you mean exactly?”
“Sleep with Logan. Then you’d either get him out of your system and move on to Jared or you’d get inspired to work it out with Logan.” She glanced over at the two men again. “I don’t see how you can lose.”
So tempting, but… “I dunno. Sounds risky. Don’t think I could handle Logan dumping me again.”
Inside the kitchen, she grabbed orange juice and vodka. “He won and you lost. Something happens to a person when they get dumped. It’s hard on the psyche, even if we’re planning on breaking up with him anyway.”
Since when did my best friend become so insightful?
“You guys were just kids then,” she continued. “But now, you’re a grown woman. You’re successful, confident and you have the tightest butt I’ve ever seen. Who can blame a guy for pursuing you? But this time around with Logan, you can be in control. And there might be benefits.” She grinned.
Chuckling, I snatched the glass from her hand. “You are so bad.”
She gazed into the liquid of her own glass. “I’ve been dumped by more than a few. And each time, it hurt like hell. But I know you love Logan. So reel him in.”
“Victor’s been letting you watch too many chick flicks.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my screwdriver. “Love does not conquer al
l. And it doesn’t justify everything. Besides, I’m not good with head games.”
“Whatever gets you out of this weird limbo so you can get on with your life.” Ginny studied me a moment. “Look, he was an eighteen year old boy. Who hasn’t made at least one gross lapse in judgment as a kid? That’s why God invented second chances.”
“I don’t know, Gin. My head goes in that direction more often than you’d think. But I don’t ever want to go through that kind of pain again.”
“Just make sure you’re not missing out on something amazing just because you’re a coward.” Ginny reached behind her back and grabbed the vodka, uncapped it and poured more in my glass.
“No.” I laughed and tipped the bottle back up. “Trying to get me drunk?”
“Yes. But I have to tend to my guests, so go chat with the guys. If you don’t, they’ll know you’re avoiding them.”
“Why should I care if they know what I’m doing?”
“You don’t want to burn both those bridges, do you?” she whispered in my ear with a giggle. “I live vicariously through you.”
I laughed as Ginny vanished into the crowd. Leaving the kitchen, I searched for the duo. There they were, talking to a very pretty young blonde. And by the expression on her face, she was in heaven. I did a double-take. Ah, yes. Tiffany. I remembered comparing my abs to hers at the gym and feeling that mine weren’t nearly cut enough. I also remembered how she worked the men, flirting with them mercilessly. She spent more time with the rich ones, guys I’d sold big houses to.
Neither Logan nor Jared were an option for me but that didn’t mean I wanted to see Tiffany’s claws in either of them. Jared was a good man, through and through. A guy like that might be susceptible to pure evil. Okay, I knew Tiffany wasn’t evil. But I also knew she wasn’t a nice girl.
Logan was used to handling women. He could take care of himself if she made a move, even get involved without getting hurt when it ended. But I didn’t want to witness their coupling.