by Ellen Wood
Sara could do nothing. She could only accept this change in him and bear it in silence. Had she been asked to pin her faith on the truth and honour of any living man, she would have pinned it on Oswald Cray’s. Not because she loved him, not because it was to her his allegiance was certainly due, but because she believed him to be, of all others, the very soul of chivalrous integrity. But that he had changed to her there could not be a shadow of doubt: his conduct proved it. He had silently broken off all relations with her, and given no token of what his motive could be.
That some cause, just or unjust, had led to it, she yet did him the justice to believe; he was the last man so to act from caprice, or from a totally unworthy motive. And she knew he had loved her. In vain she asked herself what this cause could be; but there were moments when a doubt of whether the terrible secret, which had been imparted that past night to Dr. Davenal, could have become known to Oswald Cray. If so — why, then, in his high honour, his sensitive pride, he had perhaps decided that she was no fit wife for him. And Sara could not say that he had so decided unjustifiably. Whatever the cause, they were separated.
They were separated. And the sunshine of her life was over. Oh, the bitter anguish that it cost! There is no pain, no anguish, that this world and its many troubles can bring, like unto it — the finding one false, upon whom love, in all the freshness of its first feeling, has been lavished. The bright green of life’s verdure is gone; the rich blue has faded from the wintry sky.
Sara said nothing, but the doctor spoke openly of the strange conduct of Mr. Oswald Cray.
“I know nothing that can have offended him,” he observed; “unless he has chosen to take umbrage at the money’s having been left to me.”
“Nonsense,” said Miss Davenal; “it’s not that Mr. Oswald Cray did not want the money for himself; would not, it is said, have accepted it. It is not that.”
And It is not that,” echoed Sarah Davenal’s heart.
“What else is it, then?” said the doctor. “Nobody in this house has done anything to offend him. You have not, I suppose, Sara,” — suddenly turning upon her, as a faint doubt flashed into his mind, never before admitted to it The question brought to her she knew not what of emotion. She answered it with an outward appearance of calmness, save for the burning red that dyed her face.
“Nothing, papa. The last time I spoke to Mr. Oswald Cray was the night of the accident. We parted quite good Mends — as we always had parted.”
And the sweet words whispered by Oswald rose up before her as she spoke. What a contrast! that time and this!
“Just so,” replied the doctor. “There has been nothing whatever to cause this coolness on his part, except the business of the money. Well, as I give it back to the family, perhaps my gentleman will come round. Rely upon it, that pride of his has been touched in some manner or other.”
But the weeks had gone on, and December was in, and the gentleman had not “come round” yet. Sara Davenal sat at her bedroom window, all her shivering misery only too palpably present to her, as she watched the cold rain falling on the wet streets, in the gloomy twilight of the afternoon.
She saw Roger bring the carriage round. She saw her father go out from the house and step into it. It was the open carriage, but the bead was up, and Roger and his master were sheltered from the rain. It was not the usual hour of Dr. Davenal’s going out, but the bad day bad kept patients from calling on him, and a message bad just been delivered saying that a lady whom be attended, Mrs. Scott, was worse.
Sara heard the house clock strike four, and the lamps were already lighted in the streets. Night was coming on earlier than usual. The gleaming of the pools of water in the rays of the gas lamps did not tend to add to the cheerfulness of the scene; and Sara, with a shiver that she could not suppress, quitted her room and went down stairs.
The blaze and warmth of the dining-room, as seen through the open door, was a welcome sight. She went in, and knelt down before the fire on the hearth-rug, and laid her aching head for shelter against the side of the marble mantle-piece, and stayed there until disturbed by the entrance of Miss Davenal.
“Neal’s come home,” announced Miss Davenal.
“Is he?” apathetically answered Sara.
“I saw him go by with his portmanteau. What are you down there for, Sara, roasting your face? Have you no regard for your complexion?”
“I am not roasting it, aunt. My face is quite in the shade.”
“But you are roasting it. What’s the use of telling me that? Had I allowed the fire to burn my face at your age, do you suppose I should have retained any delicacy of skin? Get up from the fire.”
Sara rose wearily. She sat down in a chair opposite to the one her aunt had taken, and let her hands fall listlessly in her lap.
“Have any patients been here this afternoon?”
“I think not, Aunt Bettina. I suppose it was too wet for them to come out.”
“Have you been drawing?”
“Not this gloomy day. I like a good light for it.”
“It strikes me you have become very idle lately, Miss Sara Davenal! Do you think that time was bestowed upon us to be wasted?”
A faint blush rose to Sara’s cheek. In these, the early days of her bitter sorrow, she feared she had been idle. What with the shock brought upon her by that ominous secret, and the cruel pain caused by the falsity of Oswald Cray, her tribulation had been wellnigh greater than she could bear.
“Ring the bell,” said Miss Davenal.
Sara rose from her chair and rang it. It was answered by Jessy.
“Tell Neal I shall be glad to see him.”
Neal appeared in answer to the summons. His London journey had been prolonged by the permission of the doctor, and he had but now returned. In he came, just the same as usual, his white necktie spotless, his black clothes without a crease.
“So you are back, Neal,” said Miss Davenal. “I am very glad to see you. And pray have you arranged all your business satisfactorily? — secured your share of the money?”
“Entirely so, thank you, ma’am,” replied Neal, advancing nearer to his mistress that he might be heard. “I am pleased to find all well at home, ma’am.”
“You have been away longer than you intended to be, Neal.”
“Yes, ma’am. I wrote to my master stating why it was necessary that I should, if possible, prolong my stay, and he kindly permitted it I saw Mr. Oswald Cray, ma’am, while I was in London,” Neal added as a gratuitous piece of information.
“You did what?” asked Miss Davenal, while Sara turned and stood with her back to them, looking at the fire.
“I saw Mr. Oswald Cray, ma’am.”
“Oh, indeed. And where did you see him?”
“I met him one night in London, ma’am. He was walking with a young lady.”
“Saw him walking at night with a young lady?” repeated Miss Bettina, in rather a snappish tone; for as a general rule she did not approve of young ladies and gentlemen walking together, especially at night “She seemed a very nice young lady, ma’am, young and pretty,” continued Neal, who was getting a little exasperated at the face of Miss Sara Davenal being hidden from his view. “I believe it was Miss Allister, the sister of a gentleman with whom Mr. Oswald Cray is very intimate.”
“Well, I am glad you are back, Neal,” concluded Miss Davenal.
“Things have gone all at sixes and sevens without you.”
Neal retired. And Sara, in her still attitude before the fire, repeated the words over and over again to her beating heart. A lady young and pretty! walking with him in the evening hours — the sister of the friend with whom he was so intimate! She laid her hand upon her bosom, if that might still the tumult within, in all the sickness of incipient jealousy. Until that moment Sara Davenal had never known how she had clung to hope in her heart of hearts. While saying to herself, He is lost to me for ever, this under-current of hope had been ever ready to breathe a whisper that the cloud might some time be cleared
up, that he might return. Now the scales were rudely torn from her eyes, and reason suggested that his slighting treatment of her might proceed from a different cause than any she had ever glanced at.
“What was it Neal said, Sara? That the pretty lady walking with Oswald Cray was somebody’s sister?”
Sara turned in her pain to answer her aunt “Mr. Allister’s sister, he said.”
“Who’s Mr. Allister?”
“A sick gentleman who used to be at Bracknell and Street’s. I remember that night of the railway accident Mr. Oswald Cray was obliged to return to town because he had promised to spend — to spend the Sunday with him.”
An idea darting into her brain had caused her to hesitate. Had Oswald Cray’s anxiety to return to town been prompted by the wish to be with the sister as well as the brother? Sara felt her brow turn moist and cold.
“Young and pretty!” repeated Miss Davenal. “Who knows but they may be engaged? Ah! it’s Caroline who should have had Oswald Cray.”
Meanwhile Dr. Davenal had been driven to the house of Mrs. Scott. It was not very far from his own home, about two streets only. Time had been, and not so far back, when Dr. Davenal would not have thought of ordering his carriage for so short a distance, would have braved the inclemencies of the weather, the drifting rain, the cutting wind, and walked it. But the doctor had been growing ill both in body and mind; since the night of that fatal revelation, whatever it may have been, he seemed to have become in feelings like an old man, needing all the care and help of one. As he had looked from his window that afternoon, a sort of shudder at the out-door weather came over him; a feeling as if he could not and ought not to venture out in it And he told Roger to bring round the carriage.
He stepped out of the carriage and entered Mrs. Scott’s, leaving Roger snugly ensconced under the shelter of the head and the horses steaming in the rain. But when the doctor reached his patient’s bed, he found her so considerably and alarmingly worse that he could not yet think of leaving her. She was a great and real sufferer; not as poor Lady Oswald had been, an imaginary one; and in the last week or two her symptoms had assumed a dangerous character. The doctor thought of Roger and his horses, and went down.
“I shall not be ready to come home this hour, Roger. Better go back and put the horses up. You can come for me at five.”
So Roger, nothing loth, turned his horses round and went home. And Dr. Davenal, with another shudder, and a very perceptible one, hastened in-doors from the beating rain.
“What’s the matter with me this afternoon?” he asked, half angry that any such sort of sensation should come over him.
Is the body at times more sensitive to outward influences than it is at others, rendering it susceptible to take any ill that may be abroad? Is it more liable to cold, to fever, to other ailments? Or can it be that the mind has so great an influence over the body that the very fact of dreading these ills predisposes us to take them? If ever Dr. Davenal sensibly shrank from an encounter with the outdoor weather, it was on that afternoon. He could not remember so to have shrunk from it in all his life.
Mrs. Scott’s room was hot The fire was large, every breath of air excluded, and two large gas-burners flamed away, adding to the heat As Dr. Davenal sat there he became first at ease in the genial warmth, then hot, and subsequently as moist as though he were breathing the atmosphere of a baker’s oven. He had had many a battle with this same Mrs. Scott over the heated rooms she loved to indulge in, but he had not conquered yet.
It was not much above half-past four when the doctor was beckoned out of the room. He was wanted down-stairs. There stood Julius Wild, and Mr. Julius Wild was in as white a heat with running as Dr. Davenal was with that pernicious atmosphere above.
“I have been about everywhere, sir, trying to find you,” he began, out of breath. “At last I bethought myself of asking your coachman at the stables if he knew, and he said you were at Mrs. Scott’s. You are wanted in the accident-ward, sir, as quick as you can get there.”
“What has come in?” inquired Dr. Davenal.
“A young man fell on his head from the very top of that scaffolding in High Street, sir. It is a dreadful case, and the house-surgeon does not think he can be saved, even with the operation. The top of the head is crushed in. Mr. Berry and Dr. Ford and some more are there, but they wish for you.”
Dr. Davenal did not delay a moment. In a case of real necessity he threw aside all thought of precaution for himself. If human skill could save the life of this poor young man, he knew that his could, and he knew that perhaps his was the only hand in Hallingham, which could successfully carry through the critical and delicate operation he suspected must be performed.
He had no greatcoat with him, and he started off at once with Julius Wild, heated as he was. The rain beat against him in a torrent, for it poured now; the wind whirled itself in eddies about his person. No umbrella could live in it; one which the doctor had borrowed from the hall of Mrs. Scott was turned inside out ere he had taken many steps.
“A rough night, sir,” remarked the young embryo surgeon, as he kept by his side.
“It is that,” said Dr. Davenal.
Away they splashed through the muddy pools in the streets. It was quite dark now, with the unusually gloomy evening, and the gas lamps only served to mislead their eyesight in the haste they had to make. There could be no waiting to pick the way. The Infirmary was at a considerable distance from Mrs. Scott’s, and ere they reached it the cold had struck to one of them. The one was not Julius Wild.
When they came in view of the Infirmary, Julius Wild ran forward to give notice that the doctor was approaching. Two or three of the medical men were in the great hall looking out for him; Mark Cray was one of them. The news of the accident had travelled in the town, and the surgeons attached to the Infirmary were collecting there.
“We began to despair of you,” cried Dr. Ford, “and there’s no time to be lost. I was just recommending Mr. Cray to be the one to officiate.”
Dr. Davenal turned his eye with an eagle glance on Mark Cray ere the words had well left Dr. Ford’s lips. The look, the warning conveyed in it, was involuntary. Had Mark actually acceded to the recommendation, the look could scarcely have been sterner. Mark coloured under it, and his thoughts went back to Lady Oswald. Never, in Dr. Davenal’s presence, must he attempt to try his skill again.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
THE LAST MEETING.
THE night’s work told on Dr. Davenal. The soaking rain, the chilling wind, had struck inward the perspiration which Mrs. Scott’s heated room had induced. On the next day he was visibly ill. Sara noticed it, and begged him not to go out.
“Not go out, child? I must go out.”
“But you are not in a state for it. I am sure you are very ill.”
“I caught cold last night; that’s what it is. It will go off in a day or two.”
“Yes if you will lie by and nurse yourself. Not if you go out to make it worse.”
“I have never lain by in all my life, Sara. A doctor has no time for it What would become of my patients?”
He went out to his carriage, then waiting for him. The close carriage. Bright as the day was — for the weather had changed — it was the close carriage that had been ordered round by the doctor.
“Is master ill, I wonder?” thought Roger, when he found it was only to pay the daily round of near visits.
As the doctor went out at the gate it happened that Oswald Cray was passing. And Mr. Oswald Cray quite started when he saw Dr. Davenal, the change in him was so great It was impossible for either of them to pass the other, had they so wished it, without being guilty of absolute rudeness, and they stopped simultaneously.
“You are ill, Dr. Davenal?” exclaimed Oswald, speaking impulsively.
“Middling. I have got a cold hanging about me. We have had some bad weather here.”
It cannot be denied that Dr. Davenal’s tone and manner betrayed a coldness never yet offered to Oswald Cray. Generous
man though he was by nature, as little prone to take offence as most people, he did think that Oswald Cray’s slighting conduct had been unjustifiable, and he could not help showing his sense of it They stood a moment in silence, Oswald marking the ravages illness or something else had made on the doctor’s face and form. His figure was drooping now, his face was careworn; but the sickness looked to be of mind more than of body. Unfortunately those miserable suspicions instilled into Oswald Cray’s brain arose now with redoubled force, and a question suggested itself — could anything save remorse change a man as he had changed, in the short space of time?
“You are a stranger now, Mr. Oswald Cray. What has kept you from us?”
“The last time I called you were all out,” he answered, somewhat evasively.
“And you could not call again! As you please, of course,” continued the doctor, as Oswald’s face took a somewhat repellant turn, and the Oswald pride became rather too conspicuous. “I had wished to say a word or two to you with regard to the will made by Lady Oswald; but perhaps you do not care to hear it.”
“Anything that you, or I, or any one else can say, will not alter the will, Dr. Davenal. And it does not in the least concern me.”
“But I think you are resenting it in your heart, for all that.”
Ah, what cross-purposes they were at! Oswald had not resented that; and all his fiery pride rose up to boiling heat at being accused of it He had deemed that to make Dr. Davenal the inheritor was unjust to the nephews of Lady Oswald, and he had felt for them; but he had not resented it, even at heart He spoke the literal truth when he said it was a matter that did not concern him. If the heavy cloud of misapprehension between them could but have cleared itself away!