Indecision and fear. She was paralyzed by indecision and fear.
“Will you play, too?” Her voice was small, her eyes full of hope.
“What?” I sank back against her pillows. We were on her bed again, having just woken up from a marathon sleep session. We both still slept better with the other one there, but since her mom drew the line at letting me spend the night, we had to settle for long weekend naps- with her bedroom door propped open.
Piper scrambled to her knees beside me, her face filled with more animation than I’d seen in days, maybe weeks and I felt my resolve slipping.
“If you play, then you’d be around a lot. The teams travel together and practice at the same time. Games are almost always on the same night.” She grabbed one of my hands and held it in both of hers.
“Please, Drew. I don’t think I can do this alone.”
Maybe it was unhealthy, for both of us, but I knew I had fast become her security blanket, and without even realizing I needed one, she’d become mine. Still, I hated the feeling I was being manipulated.
“You wouldn’t be alone, babe. What about Luke? And Jared? And Noah? And everyone else?” In spite of everything, I knew I was going to do it. For her at this point, I’d do anything, but that didn’t stop the panic from building, threatening to choke me. “I’ll come to all your games.”
She didn’t say anything. She just stared at me.
“Ahhh.” I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling just enough to feel pain. She had no idea what she was asking of me.
She knew she had me, though. “I’ll go back to school.” In her excitement, she scrambled again, only this time she straddled my lap, settling on my thighs.
“Piper-” I shot a glance at her open door. We hadn’t even really kissed, but that hadn’t kept our physical relationship from growing. We constantly touched- holding hands, sitting close with our arms around each other, for heaven’s sake we’d just slept four hours with our bodies completely tangled. But this- “That’s blackmail.”
“Drew, please.” She covered my hands where they rested on her thighs with her own. “I’m not trying to blackmail you, although I’ll admit taking credit for getting you to play has crossed my mind. I’ll be a hero with the boys-”
“That’s not funny-”
“Yes, it is, but that’s not the point. We need this. You and me. We need to fight this battle together.”
She reached up to thread her fingers through the hair at my temples. I never knew how good it felt for someone to play with my hair until Piper- she couldn’t stop and I loved it. I loved her- no. Mentally, I gave myself a shake. I didn’t need to be thinking like that.
“I don’t know why you stopped playing basketball. Or why you are so afraid of being in a relationship, but maybe-” she paused and tilted my head back to face her because I’d looked away. “Maybe, we can help each other get through this.”
A part of me knew she was right.
I nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll do it. But you have to promise me you’ll go back to school.” I knew it would be hard for her, but I also knew she was stronger than she thought.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll do it.” She smiled, repeating my words back to me. “But I still get to take credit for getting you to play.”
“That’s it,” I warned her, leaning forward and tackling her off my lap and onto the floor. We landed with a loud ‘oomph’ that brought her mom to the door with a frown on her face.
“You guys hungry? I just made enchiladas.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you, Ms. Hines.” I pushed away from Piper, who giggled. I shot her a look.
Piper’s mom raised her eyebrow and pushed the door further open before leaving the room.
“You’re scared of my mom,” Piper teased.
Rolling my eyes, I reached for her hand and helped her to her feet. “More like I’m scared of losing the only good sleep I get. I’ve got to stay on her good side.”
Piper
Monday mornings sucked under normal circumstances, but today took the cake. Like I promised Drew I would, I got up and got ready for school. Unfortunately, I felt sluggish and awkward. I hadn’t left the house much in the last two weeks and suddenly the school I’d been attending for over two years felt more intimidating than I ever thought possible. And it wasn’t like it had been the most welcoming place for me anyway.
Luke had been amazing. I’ve always known he was a great brother, but he’d gone above and beyond. While I wasn’t at all thankful for what happened to me, I was grateful for the closeness that developed with my brother as a result. Poor guy, though, he’d been shooting me concerned looks the whole drive to school and I wished I knew how to reassure him. But honestly, I was a little concerned myself.
Thankfully, Drew was already at school. He texted me that he would wait in the parking lot to walk in with me. I didn’t want to depend on him like that, but I knew I did. We still hadn’t had that conversation, the one where we declared our feelings or defined our relationship, but things had changed.
“You ready for this,” Luke asked after pulling into our spot in the parking lot.
I shrugged. “I guess, I don’t really have a choice.”
His face softened. “Sure, you do, Pipe. You heard what Mom said, if you need a break, take a break. I’ll give you a ride home if you feel overwhelmed.”
“Thanks, Luke.” I reached across the console to give him a hug. “I know I’ve said it before and you get all embarrassed, but thank you. Thank you for coming for me.”
“I’ll always come for you, Pipe. You’re my twin. My other half.” He gave me a goofy grin, his face as familiar to me as my own.
“Yeah, I love you, too, Pukey Lukey. Now let’s do this.”
“Stop calling me that,” he complained as he got out of the Jeep.
Before I could open my door, Drew appeared to do the honors.
“Hey,” he greeted me with a smile and a quick kiss.
“Dude, don’t kiss my sister in front of me.” Luke made a gagging noise.
“Don’t listen to him.” Drew looked amazing, as usual, in a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. The ring in his lip tickled when his lips met mine- I was glad to see him.
“Ugh. I’ll see you guys later.” Shaking his head, Luke made his way into the school.
“You ready for this,” Drew asked, taking my backpack and hooking it over his own shoulder.
“I can carry my own backpack.” It was sweet, though, that he did.
“I know you can. You got this?” he asked, reaching for my hand and lacing our fingers together.
“Yeah, I got this.”
Drew cleared his throat and glanced toward the school. We were almost to the door. “How about this? Is this okay?” He squeezed my hand with his.
I suppose this was as close to talking about it we were going to get for now. “It’s okay.” And it was.
It was a bit of a surreal experience walking into school. First of all, I wasn’t sure what exactly people knew about what happened to me, but there was a lot of whispering behind hands and subtle and not so subtle pointing in my direction.
Although, the pointing could have been in our direction. Drew and I had walked the halls together before, but never like this. Never holding hands. Never with the obvious closeness that had been growing daily since the first time he’d come to my house and we’d slept instead of watching Arrow.
He must have sensed my unease because he squeezed my hand again and pulled me closer to his side.
“Don’t worry about them,” he whispered close to my ear.
“I’m not worried.” We’d reached his locker and I began turning the lock.
“Then what is that look you have?” His finger circled in front of my face.
“I don’t know what your-”
“Yes, you do. Come on. Don’t have secrets.” He handed me my backpack so I could unload it into the locker.
“Don’t have secrets? That’s a good one coming from you,” I teased
him, but I wasn’t really teasing.
“What’s that supposed to mean,” he protested, with a laugh.
I put the rest of my stuff away, leaving what I needed for Biology in my bag and gave him a look. “Don’t play innocent with me. And it’s just weird. I’ve gotten a lot of looks walking the halls of this school and none of them have been like that.” I pointed to one of the dance team girls, Chloe Randall. She wasn’t trying to hide the look of hatred in her eyes, so I wasn’t worried about pointing right in her face.
“She’s just jealous,” Drew said, claiming my hand again.
“You might actually be right about that.”
“Of course, I’m right. I’m kind of a big deal, you know- oomph,” he groaned slash laughed, rubbing his stomach where I’d elbowed him. “Why are you always hitting me?”
Shaking my head, I dragged him toward Mr. McGowan’s room, thinking I was really glad he was by my side.
Chapter 25
Piper
That day something unprecedented happened in the cafeteria. For the first time since I’d been a student at Eastridge Heights, people were sitting in different spots. Instead of sitting at their usual table Luke, Jared, Adam, and Zeke sat beside Dannika and all the basketball girls had shifted to their table to sit with a couple of the other basketball boys.
Drew and I walked in, still holding hands, and after collecting our food, went to sit beside them.
The closer we got, Jared, Adam, and Zeke stood and I had to drop Drew’s hand to accept their hugs.
“It’s good to see you back, String Bean,” Jared said once we’d all taken our seats.
“Thanks, Jed.” I lifted my hand for his fist bump.
“Yeah, it just hasn’t been the same on the court without you,” Zeke teased.
“Are you ready to start practice next week,” Adam asked.
“Good grief, you guys. Give her a break, it’s her first day back.” Dannika held up her fist, her brow lifted threateningly.
“I just want to know when all this happened.” Jared pointed a finger back and forth between me and Drew.
“Um- Uh-” I blushed to the roots of my hair. Drew’s hand slid to my knee under the table.
“None of your business is when this all happened,” he said, leaning his shoulder into mine.
Jared put up his hands. “Fine, fine. If that’s how you want to be.”
“Don’t complain, Jared. She convinced him to play basketball,” Luke easily, like he hadn’t just dropped the biggest bomb.
“Luke!” Drew and I both yelled.
“What? They were going to find out next week anyway.” Luke leaned away from my hand trying to smack him.
“Are you really gonna do it?” Zeke’s eyes were wide as saucers.
I glanced around the table and each one of them had leaned forward with expectant, excited expressions on their faces. Drew on the other hand looked a little like a deer in the headlights.
“Knock it off!” I shot Luke a death glare and he just rolled his eyes.
“It’s okay.” Drew squeezed my knee. “Yes, I’m going to play. I figure if Piper can come back after what she went through, then so can I.”
“Awww,” Dannika sighed into her hand.
“That’s real sweet and everything, but are you serious? Because I’m about to have a stroke over here.” Adam fanned himself with some homework he’d been working on. He glanced around the table, grinning so wide it almost split his face. “Aww, yeah. We’re gonna win! We’re gonna win!”
Adam stood up and he, Luke, Jared, and Zeke double high-fived each other laughing and congratulating each other like they’d already won the State Championship.
Beside me, Drew sighed and I almost felt bad for him- until I saw his own smile rivaled Adam’s and I knew everything would be okay.
Drew
I wasn’t about to tell my parents anything. I might have promised Piper I would play basketball for the school team, but that didn’t mean I had to abandon my principles. In fact, maybe playing meant staying true to what I believed more than giving it all up. I just had to play by my own rules.
I knew, though, if I told them, if they got involved- it would be Colorado all over again. I couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not after Piper.
And so I was sweating bullets. Standing on the edge of the Eastridge Heights basketball court, I was sweating bullets. I hadn’t shot a ball, hadn’t run a step. Yet I felt as though I’d run a marathon or played in a holiday tourney.
Why was I doing this, again? I was drowning in regret and second thoughts.
“Good to see you, Drew.” Coach Tillman slapped me on the shoulder.
Gulping, I glanced over to see his shit eating grin and I wanted to throw up.
“Seems all your sports paperwork is already filed. I was worried since you said you weren’t going to play, but the fees were paid when you enrolled this summer and your sport’s physical is up to date. You’re ready to go.” Coach rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist- or a high school basketball coach that had just been handed the best high school basketball player in the country.
Closing my eyes, I began counting down from one hundred in my head, praying it would work to keep the anxiety at bay.
“Hey,” a soft voice beside me pulled me away when I’d just reached sixty-seven and my heart settled.
Without even opening my eyes, I wrapped her in my arms. She was sweaty from her own practice and tried to get away from me.
“Drew, I haven’t showered yet,” she laughed, pushing against my chest.
“No. Don’t. Just stay.” She must have heard the desperation in my voice because she stopped struggling and hugged me back.
“Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” She tried to get a look at my face but I couldn’t let her see just yet, I was still fighting the fight. I buried my face in her neck and breathed deep. She smelled like strawberries and hard work and basketball. It was just what I needed.
“Drew, you’re making me nervous.” She worked her hands up my chest and over my shoulders until she could lift my head.
Damn.
I wasn’t quite there yet.
Her eyes scanned over my face, stopping to study my eyes. The longer she looked the deeper the furrow between her brows grew.
“You don’t have to do this.” She was shaking her head. “You don’t.”
“Piper-” I reached for her hands, still on my face.
“No. I didn’t know-”
“You still don’t know.” The situation was so ridiculous, I almost laughed. Sure, I had my issues, but Piper had been kidnapped with a pillowcase over her head. Dragged in the dark and then beaten and touched and-
And she was here.
If she could do it- so could I.
She paused, studying me again. Any minute the guys would be out here and I needed to pull myself together. For crying out loud, it was basketball!
“You’re right, I don’t know. Someday I hope you’ll tell me, but it’s okay-”
“No! Piper-” I took her face in my hands. “You are the strongest person I know. You can do this. I can do this. It’s just a game, right?”
She didn’t believe me, but she wanted to. So, she nodded. “Yeah, just a game. I should go get cleaned up.”
My eyes dropped to her lips and she gasped. “Drew-”
“A kiss for good luck.” Our lips met in the longest kiss we’d shared since the night of her league game weeks ago. I didn’t want to let her go. I’d missed this. I’d promised myself I would take things slow, but maybe I was done with that. As long as she was, too.
“Wow,” she breathed when we finally broke apart.
I rested my forehead on hers. “Yeah. We should probably talk.”
“Later.”
“Later.”
It amazed me, based on my earlier near panic attack, how easily I fell back into the routine of participating in an organized practice. Coach Tillman knew what he was doing and it was no surprise his te
ams won Championships. He tried not to show me special treatment, but the man was giddy and everyone knew it.
“I think Coach is almost as excited as we are that you’re playing.” Luke nudged my side with his elbow as we ran stairs at the end of practice.
“He’s a friend of my dad’s. They played together.”
Luke’s eyes went wide. “Your dad played?”
I nodded. “College and a few years in Europe.”
Luke considered that for a minute. “That’s why the house and all the cars and all that?”
“No. That’s all old money. Trust fund baby.” Plus, a billion-dollar company owned by the family.
“Wow.” We climbed the stairs in silence. But when we reached the bottom, he said, “So, he must be pretty excited about you playing, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t told him.”
“What? Why not?”
“It’s a long story. He’ll find out eventually. Coach Tillman has probably talked to him about it.” In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if I found an ambush when I got home. Anxiety ripped through my stomach.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
“Dude, I thought my life was messed up.” Luke punched my shoulder so I knew he was teasing.
“You have no idea.”
Chapter 26
Drew
Practice altered the routine Piper and I had developed over the last couple of weeks. It was almost eight by the time I made it home. I was exhausted- not so much physically because I’d been working out and playing all along, but emotionally, I was spent. All the memories, the drama- everything I’d been running from took center stage in my mind. It was going to take some getting used to, this rehabilitation of my brain to believe basketball wasn’t at fault. There was nothing wrong with the game- it was people, people were the problem.
And the worst was waiting for me in the driveway when I pulled up to our house.
I took my time parking and collecting my gear from the backseat before getting out of my car- his car.
“Drew.”
“Do we have to do this, Dad? I’m playing. Isn’t that enough?”
Dating: One on One: Eastridge Heights Basketball Book 1 Page 16