by Linda Howard
“If I agreed, it would have to be at night. I have chores around here that have to be done.”
“Night is fine with me. Midnight would be fine with me, if it would get you back in school.”
He gave her a quick look. “You really mean it, don’t you? You actually care that I dropped out of school.”
“Of course I care.”
“There’s no ‘of course’ about it. I told you, no other teacher cared if I showed up in class. They probably wished I hadn’t.”
“Well,” she said in her briskest voice, “I care. Teaching is what I do, so if I can’t teach and feel I’m doing some good, then I lose part of myself. Isn’t that how you feel about flying? That you have to, or you’ll die?”
“I want it so bad it hurts,” he admitted, his voice raw.
“I read somewhere that flying is like throwing your soul into the heavens and racing to catch it as it falls.”
“I don’t think mine would ever fall,” he murmured, looking at the clear cold sky. He stared, entranced, as if paradise beckoned, as if he could see forever. He was probably imagining himself up there, free and wild, with a powerful machine screaming beneath him and taking him higher. Then he shook himself, visibly fighting off the dream, and turned to her. “Okay, Miss Teacher, when do we start?”
“Tonight. You’ve already wasted enough time.”
“How long will it take for me to catch up?”
She gave him a withering look. “Catch up? You’re going to leave them in the dust. How long it takes depends on how much work you can do.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, grinning a little.
She thought that already he looked younger, more like a boy, than he had before. He was, in all ways, far more mature than the other boys his age in her classes, but he looked as if a burden had been lifted from him. If flying meant that much to him, how had it felt to set himself a course that would deny him what he wanted most?
“Can you be at my house at six? Or would you rather I come here?” She thought of that drive, in the dark and snow, and wondered if she’d make it if he wanted her to come here.
“I’ll come to your house, since you aren’t used to driving in snow. Where do you live?”
“Go down the back road and take a left. It’s the first house on the left.” She thought a minute. “I believe it’s the first house, period.”
“It is. There isn’t another house for five miles. That’s the old Witcher house.”
“So I’ve been told. It was kind of the school board to arrange living quarters for me.”
Joe looked dubious. “More like it was the only way they had of getting another teacher in the middle of the year.”
“Well, I appreciated it anyway,” she said firmly. She looked out the window. “Shouldn’t your father be back by now?”
“Depends on what he found. If it was something he could fix right then, he’d do it. Look, here he comes now.”
The black pickup roared to a stop in front of the house, and Wolf got out. Coming up on the porch, he stomped his feet to rid his boots of the snow caked on them and opened the door. His cool black gaze flickered over his son, then to Mary. His eyes widened fractionally as he examined every slim curve exhibited by Joe’s old jeans, but he didn’t comment.
“Get your things together,” he instructed. “I have a spare hose that will fit your car. We’ll put it on, then take you home.”
“I can drive,” she replied. “But thank you for your trouble. How much is the hose? I’ll pay you for that.”
“Consider it neighborly assistance to a greenhorn. And we’ll still take you home. I’d rather you practiced driving in the snow somewhere other than on this mountain.”
His dark face was expressionless, as usual, but she sensed that he’d made up his mind and wouldn’t budge. She got her dress from Joe’s room and the rest of her things from the kitchen. When she returned to the living room, Wolf held a thick coat for her to wear. She slipped into it; since it reached almost to her knees and the sleeves totally obscured her hands, she knew it had to be his.
Joe had on his coat and hat again. “Ready.”
Wolf looked at his son. “Have you two had your talk?”
The boy nodded. “Yes.” He met his father’s eyes squarely. “She’s going to tutor me. I’m going to try to get into the Air Force Academy.”
“It’s your decision. Just make sure you know what you’re getting into.”
“I have to try.”
Wolf nodded once, and that was the end of the discussion. With her sandwiched between them, they left the warmth of the house, and once again Mary was struck by the bitter, merciless cold. She scrambled gratefully into the truck, which had been left running, and the blast of hot air from the heater vents felt like heaven.
Wolf got behind the wheel, and Joe got in beside her, trapping her between their two much bigger bodies. She sat with her hands primly folded and her booted feet placed neatly side-by-side as they drove down to an enormous barn with long stables extending off each side of it like arms. Wolf got out and entered the barn, then returned thirty seconds later with a length of thick black hose.
When they reached her car, both Mackenzies got out and poked their heads under the raised hood, but Wolf told her, in that tone of voice she already recognized as meaning business, to stay in the truck. He was certainly autocratic, but she liked his relationship with Joe. There was a strong sense of respect between them.
She wondered if the townspeople were truly so hostile simply because the Mackenzies were half Indian. Something Joe had said tugged at her memory, something about it would be bad enough if it were just him involved, but it would be twice as bad because of Wolf. What about Wolf? He’d rescued her from an unpleasant, even dangerous, situation, he’d seen to her comfort, and now he was repairing her car.
He’d also kissed her silly.
She could feel her cheeks heat as she remembered those fierce kisses. No, the kisses, and remembering them, begot a different kind of heat. Her cheeks were hot because her own behavior was so appalling she could barely bring herself to think about it. She had never—never!—been so forward with a man. It was totally out of character for her.
Aunt Ardith would have had a conniption fit at the thought of her mousy, sedate niece letting a strange man put his tongue in her mouth. It had to be unsanitary, though it was also, to be honest, exciting in a primitive way.
Her face still felt hot when Wolf got back into the truck, but he didn’t even look at her. “It’s fixed. Joe will follow us.”
“But doesn’t it need more water and antifreeze?”
He cast her a disbelieving look. “I had a can of antifreeze in the back of the truck. Weren’t you paying attention when I got it out?”
She blushed again. She hadn’t been paying attention; she’d been lost in reliving those kisses he’d given her, her heart thundering and her blood racing. It was an extraordinary reaction, and she wasn’t certain how to handle it. Ignoring it seemed the wisest course, but was it possible to ignore something like that?
His powerful leg moved against hers as he shifted gears, and abruptly she realized she was still sitting in the middle of the seat. “I’ll get out of your way,” she said hastily, and slid over by the window.
Wolf had liked the feel of her sitting next to him, so close that his arm and leg brushed her whenever he changed gears, but he didn’t tell her that. Things had gotten way out of hand at the house, but he didn’t have to let them go any further. This deal with Joe worried him, and Joe was more important to him than the way a soft woman felt in his arms.
“I don’t want Joe hurt because your do-gooder instincts won’t leave well enough alone.” He spoke in a low, silky tone that made her jump, and he knew she sensed the menace in it. “The Air Force Academy! That’s climbing high for an Indian kid, with a lot of people waiting to step on his fingers.”
If he’d thought to intimidate her, he’d failed. She turned toward him with fire spar
king in her eyes, her chin up. “Mr. Mackenzie, I didn’t promise Joe he would be accepted into the Academy. He understands that. His grades were high enough to qualify him for recommendation, but he dropped out of school. He has no chance at all unless he gets back into school and gets the credits he needs. That’s what I offered him: a chance.”
“And if he doesn’t make it?”
“He wants to try. Even if he isn’t accepted, at least he’ll know he tried, and at least he’ll have a diploma.”
“So he can do exactly what he would have done without the diploma.”
“Perhaps. But I’m going to begin checking into the procedure and qualifications on Monday, and writing to people. The competition to get into the Academy is really fierce.”
“The people in town won’t like you tutoring him.”
“That’s what Joe said.” Her face took on that prim, obstinate look. “But I’ll have something to say to anyone who kicks up about it. Just let me handle them, Mr. Mackenzie.”
They were already down the mountain that had taken her so long to drive up. Wolf was silent for the rest of the drive, so Mary was, too. But when he pulled up to the old house where she was living, he rested his gloved hands on the steering wheel and said, “It isn’t just Joe. For your sake, don’t let on that you’re doing it. It’s better for you if no one knows you’ve ever even spoken to me.”
“Why ever not?”
His smile was wintry. “I’m an ex-con. I did time for rape.”
Chapter Three
Afterward, Mary kicked herself for simply getting out of the truck without saying a word in response to his bald statement, but at the time she had been shocked to the core and incapable of a response. Rape! The crime was repulsive. It was unbelievable. She had actually kissed him! She’d been so stunned that she’d merely nodded goodbye to him and told Joe that she’d see him that night, then gone in the house without thanking them for all their help and trouble.
Now reality set in. Standing alone in the old-fashioned kitchen, she watched Woodrow hungrily lapping milk from his saucer while she considered the man and his statement. She abruptly snorted. “Hogwash! If that man’s a rapist, I’ll boil you for supper, Woodrow.”
Woodrow looked remarkably unconcerned, which to Mary indicated that the cat agreed with her judgment, and she had a high opinion of Woodrow’s ability to know what was best for himself.
After all, Wolf hadn’t said that he’d committed rape. He’d said that he had served time in prison for rape. When Mary thought of the way both Mackenzies automatically and bitterly accepted that they would be shunned because of their Indian blood, she wondered if perhaps the fact that Wolf was part Indian figured in his conviction. But he hadn’t done it. She knew that as well as she knew her own face. The man who had helped her out of a bad situation, warmed her cold hands against his own body and kissed her with burning male hunger, simply wasn’t the type of man who could hurt a woman like that. He was the one who had halted before those kisses had gone too far; she had already been putty in his hands.
It was ridiculous. There was no way he was a rapist.
Oh, perhaps it hadn’t been any great hardship for him to stop kissing her; after all, she was mousy and inexperienced and would never be voluptuous, but…Her thoughts trailed off as remembered sensations intruded. She was inexperienced, but she wasn’t stupid. He had been—well, hard. She had distinctly felt it. Perhaps he hadn’t had an outlet for his physical appetites lately and she had been handy, but still he hadn’t taken advantage of her. He hadn’t treated her with a sailor’s attitude that any port in a storm would suffice. What was that awful term she had heard one of her students use once? Oh, yes—horny. She could accept that Wolf Mackenzie had been in that condition and she had accidentally stirred his fire in some way that still remained a mystery to her, but the bottom line was that he hadn’t pushed his advantage.
What if he had?
Her heart started a strong, heavy beat, and heat crept through her, while an achy, restless feeling settled low inside. Her breasts tightened and began throbbing, and automatically she pressed her palms over them before she realized what she was doing and jerked her hands down. But what if he had touched them? What if he had put his mouth on her? She felt as if she would melt now, just thinking about him. Fantasizing. She pressed her thighs together, trying to ease the hollow ache, and a whimper escaped her lips. The sound was low, but seemed inordinately loud in the silent house, and the cat looked up from his saucer, gave a questioning meow, then returned to the milk.
Would she have been able to stop him? Would she even have tried to stop him? Or would she now be standing here remembering making love instead of trying to imagine how it would be? Her body tingled, but from barely awakened instincts and needs rather than true knowledge.
She had never before known passion, other than the passion for knowledge and teaching. To find her body capable of such strong sensations was frightening, because she had thought she knew herself well. Suddenly her own flesh was alien to her, and her thoughts and emotions were abruptly unruly. It was almost like a betrayal.
Why, this was lust! She, Mary Elizabeth Potter, actually lusted after a man! Not just any man, either. Wolf Mackenzie.
It was both amazing and embarrassing.
Joe proved a quick, able student, as Mary had known he would be. He was prompt, arriving right on time, and thankfully alone. After stewing over the morning’s events for the entire afternoon, she didn’t think she could ever face Wolf Mackenzie again. What must he think of her? To her mind, she had practically attacked the man.
But Joe was alone, and in the three hours that followed, Mary found herself liking him more and more. He was hungry for knowledge and absorbed it like a dry sponge. While he worked on the assignments she had set out for him, she prepared a set of records in which to keep the time he spent on each subject, the matter covered and his test scores. The goal they had set for themselves was much higher than just a high school diploma. Though she hadn’t promised it, she knew she wouldn’t be satisfied unless Joe was accepted into the Air Force Academy. There had been something in his eyes that told her he would never be complete unless he could fly; he was like a grounded eagle, his soul yearning for the sky.
At nine o’clock she called a halt and noted the time in her records. Joe yawned as he rocked the chair onto its back legs. “How often do we do this?”
“Every night, if you can,” she replied. “At least until you catch up with the rest of your class.”
His pale, blue-diamond eyes glittered at her, and again she was struck by how old those eyes were. “Do I have to go back to regular classrooms next year?”
“It would help if you did. You’d be able to get much more work done, and we could do your advanced studies here.”
“I’ll think about it. I don’t want to leave Dad in the lurch. We’re expanding the ranch now, and it means a lot more work. We have more horses now than we’ve ever had before.”
“Do you raise horses?”
“Quarter horses. Good ranch horses, trained to handle cattle. We not only breed them, but people bring their own horses to the ranch for Dad to train. He’s not just good, he’s the best. Folks don’t mind that he’s an Indian when it comes to training their horses.”
Again the bitterness was apparent. Mary propped her elbows on the table and leaned her chin on her upraised, folded hands. “And you?”
“I’m Indian, too, Miss Potter. Half Indian, and that’s more than enough for most people. It wasn’t as bad when I was younger, but an Indian kid isn’t much of a threat to anyone. It’s when that kid grows up and starts looking at the white Anglo daughters that all hell breaks loose.”
So a girl had been part of the reason Joe had quit school. Mary raised her eyebrows at him. “I imagine the white Anglo daughters looked back, too,” she said mildly. “You’re very good-looking.”
He almost grinned at her. “Yeah. That and two bits will get me a cup of coffee.”
“So they looked back?”
“And flirted. One acted like she really cared something about me. But when I asked her to a dance, the door was slammed in my face right quick. I guess it’s okay to flirt with me, sort of like waving a red flag at a bull from a safe distance, but there was no way she was actually going to go out with an Indian.”
“I’m sorry.” Without thinking, Mary reached out and covered his strong young hand with her own. “Is that when you quit school?”
“There didn’t seem to be any point ingoing. Don’t think I was serious about her, or anything like that, because it hadn’t gotten that far. I was just interested in her. But the whole thing made it plain that I was never going to fit in, that none of those girls would ever go out with me.”
“So what did you plan on doing? Working on the ranch for the rest of your life and never dating, never getting married?”
“I’m sure not thinking of getting married!” he said strongly. “As for the rest of it, there are other towns, bigger towns. The ranch is doing pretty good now, and we have a little extra money.” He didn’t add that he’d lost his virginity two years before, on a trip to one of those bigger towns. He didn’t want to shock her, and he was certain she would be shocked if she had any idea of his experience. The new teacher wasn’t just prim, she was innocent. It made him feel oddly protective. That, and the fact that she was different from the other teachers he’d known. When she looked at him she saw him, Joe Mackenzie, not the bronzed skin and black hair of a half-breed. She had looked into his eyes and seen the dream, the obsession he’d always had with planes and flying.
After Joe had left, Mary locked the house and got ready for bed. It had been a tumultuous day for her, but it was a long time before she slept, and then she overslept the next morning. She deliberately kept herself busy that day, not giving herself time to moon over Wolf Mackenzie, or fantasize about things that hadn’t happened. She mopped and waxed until the old house was shiny, then dragged out the boxes of books she had brought from Savannah. Books always gave a house a lived-in look. To her frustration, however, there was no place to put them. What she needed was some of that portable shelving; if all it required for assembly was a screwdriver, she should be able to put it up herself. With her customary decisiveness, she made plans to check at the general store the next afternoon. If they didn’t have what she needed, she would buy some lumber and hire someone to build some shelves.