by Linda Howard
The moment of truth came all too soon. He parked in front of her quarters and got out to walk around the truck and open the door for her. There were a number of personnel going about their business, glancing at them with idle curiosity, and she knew he had perfectly gauged the situation.
She took out her keys and unlocked the door, then turned and faced him in the colorless glow of the vapor lights overhead. Her eyes were solemn and defenseless as she stared at him, his eyes glittering like ice.
“Hold out your hand,” he commanded softly, and she obeyed.
His hard, warm hand enclosed her fingers, and he pulled her closer even as he bent. His mouth lightly touched hers, lifted, settled again. He turned his head slightly to adjust the pressure, and somehow the motion parted her own lips, so that they yielded to the molding of his.
His taste was warm and pleasant and…male. The scent of him enveloped her, and she shivered in response. His mouth was still on hers, moving gently. She felt the tip of his tongue touch and tease, making her stiffen at the jumbled memory of some uninvited, intrusive kiss, but this was nothing like that. She felt enticed rather than coerced, and his taste was filling her senses. Warm pleasure shuddered up from her depths; with a little whimper she opened her mouth, and slowly he took her.
The carnality of it was staggering, and so was her reaction to it. She heard herself whimper again, and then somehow she was pressed hard against him, her head tilted up and back to give him deeper access, an access he took with a hard male dominance that stunned her. She felt weak and hot, and her breasts tightened with an ache that contact with his hard chest both soothed and intensified. Her loins felt hot, too, as coils of pleasure tightened deep inside. She was clinging to his hand like a lifeline.
Slowly he lifted his mouth, and it was all he could force himself to do to break the contact. He gave into the temptation to take several more quick kisses from the soft, innocent mouth that had so quickly warmed to awareness, then he had to release her hand and step back. He had promised her. He wanted nothing more than to shove her inside her dark quarters and carry her down to the floor, mounting her with quick, hard urgency, but restraint now would bring him much sweeter rewards in the future. So he controlled his rough, quick breathing and tried to control the fierce rush of blood through his veins.
“Three seconds,” he said.
Her eyes were glazed as she stared at him, and she was weaving slightly. “Yes,” she whispered. “Three seconds.”
She didn’t move. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. “Go inside, Caroline.” His voice was low and calm. “Good night.”
“Good night.” She moved jerkily to obey, and as she reached the threshold she paused to look at him over her shoulder. Her eyes were huge and dark with some indefinable emotion. “That was much longer than three seconds.”
She switched on the light, then closed and carefully locked the door. Even as she turned the bolt, she heard him drive away, telling her that he hadn’t been tempted to linger for even a second, or hadn’t considered the idea of knocking on her door. He had accomplished his mission, which was to establish their “relationship,” so as far as he was concerned, there was no reason to hang around.
She sat down on the couch and remained there, motionless, for quite some time. She had some thinking to do, and she always concentrated better if she could just sit still and totally lock herself inside her brain, or perhaps it was more a matter of locking everything else out, and that included physical stimuli.
It hadn’t taken any psychoanalysis for her to understand years ago how her upbringing and accelerated progress through school had combined with her own nature to make her the odd man out, but she hadn’t minded. Why should she worry that she had never learned how to associate with the opposite sex on a social and emotional level, when there hadn’t been anyone of the opposite sex she was interested in associating with anyway? So she had never regretted her out-of-sync relationship with the rest of the world—until now.
Now, for the first time, she was strongly attracted to a man and wanted him to be attracted to her, but how did she go about accomplishing that feat? When other girls had been learning how, she had been studying physics. She was an expert in laser optics, but she didn’t know a damn thing about flirting.
Why couldn’t she have gotten her feet wet with someone less challenging, say a fellow physicist who had also spent more time with books than people and was a little awkward socially, too? But, no, instead she had fallen head over heels in attraction with a hotshot fighter pilot, a man who could make women go weak in the knees with one look from those diamond-blue eyes. She didn’t have to be an expert at kissing to be able to tell that he was, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she had made a fool out of herself. All he had done was hold her hand, as he’d promised, and she had practically been all over him. She had a distinct memory of pushing hard against him and rubbing her front against his like a cat, and thinking that she was going to fall in a heap at his feet.
He’d been nice to her this evening. He’d treated her as a friend, had let her relax, and she had had fun. She couldn’t remember the last time she had done something so totally useless and enjoyed it. Simple playing hadn’t been part of her childhood; her parents had carefully monitored her activities to make certain they were geared toward her educational progress. No ABC blocks for her; she had used flash cards. In defense of her parents, though, she had been an impatient child, irascible when the pace had lagged behind the speed of her inquisitive, hungry intellect. Her childhood hadn’t been unhappy, just different, and she had made her own choices in life.
She was groping her way through unfamiliar territory, but Caroline’s approach to any problem was to tackle it head-on. She didn’t really know how to use the weapons nature had given her, but Joe Mackenzie was about to find them all brought to bear on him.
The first step in solving any problem was to research the subject. It was early enough that a lot of people were still awake, and there were plenty of female Air Force personnel who turned out to be willing to lend her magazines with articles that she thought addressed the problem, and she was even able to come up with quite a bit of research on fighter pilots in general. She was an accomplished speed reader and sat up for several hours plowing her way through magazines offering such intriguing articles as “He’s Bad, Bad, Bad—So Why Do You Love Him Anyway?” and “Finding The Gold in The Dross—When Not To Give Up.” Double titles seemed to abound, as well as hundreds of glossy photos of women five feet nine inches tall who weighed a hundred and fifteen pounds, most of which was evidently hair and breasts. She learned how to tell when he was cheating, and how to get revenge. She learned how to break into real estate or start her own company, how to win at blackjack—she committed that to memory—and where to stay on vacation in Europe. Interesting stuff. She just might subscribe.
The material on fighter pilots was even more interesting.
She was in the office before dawn, dressed in a loose, lightweight jumpsuit. When she had been making her selection that morning, seduction had collided with comfort, and seduction had lost without even a whimper. The temperature hit a hundred and ten during the day, for heaven’s sake.
She hauled out the specs for the day’s tests and began rechecking them, making a mental note to ask Cal a few questions about the computer program. She had taken a second major in computer programming, which had seemed to be a good complement to physics, and it had in fact come in very handy on several occasions. She logged onto the computer and began running the tests through it, rechecking once again that everything was as perfect as they could get it.
“How long have you been in—”
She shrieked at the voice right behind her and came up swinging, overturning her chair in the process. Joe’s hand shot up and caught her right fist before it could connect with his face, and a split second later he caught the left one in his other hand, the twin movements like lightning.
“Don’t do that
again!” she yelled, going up on tiptoe to glare at him, thrusting her jaw up to his. Her eyes were still dilated from fright. “What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? From now on, whistle before you get to the door!”
With a deft motion he twisted her arms behind her back, still holding her fists clasped in his palms. The action brought her breasts firmly against him and encased her within his arms. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said softly. “But if your first reaction is always to attack, you should learn how to do it right, so you won’t wind up in the sort of predicament you’re in now.” He saw interest sharpen the dark bluish-green of her eyes and knew that he had successfully deflected her attention from the fact that he was holding her captive.
Caroline considered the situation. She tugged briefly on her arms, but he held her firmly, and there was no way she could free herself from those iron hands. He was too tall for her to hit him in the face with her head. “Is till have the option of stomping your instep and kicking your ankle or knee.”
“Yes, but you’re too close to put much power behind it. You can hurt me, but not enough to make me let you go. If I were an attacker, sweetheart, right now you’d be in some serious trouble.”
She wiggled experimentally again, testing her limits of movement. His arms were locked around her, and she was pressed fully against his muscled body. She shivered a little at the unexpected pleasure of it, so surrounded by his warmth and scent. He smelled delicious; she had never noticed any other man smelling the way Joe did, and it wasn’t just the fresh scent of soap lingering on hiss kin. It was a hot, musky scent, subtle and powerful, making her want to bury her nose against him and drink it in. The effects were strong and immediate; her breasts began to tingle and ache as her nipples peaked, and hot tension tightened her loins.
She cleared her throat and tried to take her mind off her body’s reaction; they were in the office, for heaven’s sake. Just because she had changed her mind about wanting to experience more of this man/woman thing didn’t mean she wanted to do it here. “Umm…so what should I do when I want to attack?”
“You should learn how to fight first,” he replied, and pressed a quick, hard kiss on her mouth as he released her.
Her lips tingled from the kiss, and she licked them. His gaze slid to her mouth and darkened. She tried for nonchalance to hide the fact that she was shaking all over. “So, what do you recommend?” she asked as she set the chair upright and briskly backed out of the computer program, just to give herself something to do. She switched the machine off and faced him with a bright smile. “Martial arts?”
“Dirty street fighting would be better. It teaches you how to win any way you can, and to hell with fighting fair. It’s the only way you should ever go into a fight.”
“You mean like throwing dirt in the guy’s eyes and stuff like that?”
“Whatever works. The idea is to win, and stay alive.”
“Is that the way you fight?” she asked. She desperately needed to sit down, her legs were shaking so much, but he would tower over her if she did, and the thought of that made her nervous, too. She compromised by propping herself on the edge of the desk. “Is that what the Air Force teaches its pilots now?”
“No, that’s the way I was taught to fight when I was a kid.”
“Who taught you?”
“My father.”
She supposed it was a masculine bonding thing. Her father had taught her calculus, but that wasn’t quite the same.
“I’ve been researching the typical fighter pilot,” she said. “It’s interesting reading. In some ways, you’re the perfect stereotype.”
“Is that so?” He showed his teeth in a very white smile, though maybe it wasn’t a smile at all.
“Well, in some ways you’re atypical. You’re unusually tall, more suited to a bomber than a fighter. But fighter pilots are typically intelligent, aggressive, arrogant and as determined—maybe stubborn is a better word—as a bulldog. They want to be in control at all times.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, dark lashes shadowing his glittering eyes.
“Fighter pilots have keen eyesight and fast reactions. Most of you have blue or light-colored eyes, so you’re certainly typical on that. And here’s an interesting little tidbit…fighter pilots usually have more female children than male.”
“Finding out will be fun,” he drawled.
She cleared her throat. “Actually, I thought you might already know.”
He lifted his eyebrows. “Why’s that?”
“I did notice that they called you Breed. I assumed it’s because you do it so well.”
One corner of his mouth moved in a slow smile. “My breeding productivity doesn’t have anything to do with it. They call me Breed because I’m a half-breed Indian.”
Caroline was so startled that she could only stare at him. “A Native American?”
He shrugged. “That’s what you can call it if you want, but I’ve always called myself an Indian. Changing labels doesn’t change anything else.” His voice was casual, but he was watching her closely.
She studied him just as closely. Hiss kin was certainly dark enough, with a deep bronze hue that she had assumed was a dark tan. His hair was thick and black and straight, those sculpted cheekbones high and prominent, his nose thin and high-bridged, and his mouth was typically clean-cut and sensual. His eyes, however, were an oddity. She frowned and said accusingly, “Then how can you have blue eyes? Blue is a recessive gene. You should have dark eyes.”
He had been alert to how she would receive his heritage, but at her reply something in him relaxed. How else would Caroline respond to something but with a demand for more information? She wasn’t shocked or repelled, as some people still were by his mixed heritage, or even titillated, as sometimes happened—though he had become accustomed to that because women were often excited by his profession, too. Nope, she honed right in on the genetic question of why he had blue eyes.
“My parents were both half-breeds,” he explained. “Genetically I’m still half Indian and half white, but I got the recessive blue-eyed gene from both my parents. I’m one-quarter Comanche, one-quarter Kiowa and half white.”
She nodded in satisfaction, the mystery of his eye color having been explained. She pursued the subject with interest. “Do you have any brothers or sisters? What color are their eyes?”
“Three brothers and one sister. Half brothers and sister, to be precise. My mother died when I was a baby. My stepmother is white, and she has blue eyes. So do my three brothers. Dad was wondering if he was ever going to have a black-eyed baby until my sister was born.”
She was fascinated by this glimpse of family life. “I’m an only child. I always wanted a brother or sister when I was little,” she said, unaware of the faint wistful note in her voice. “Was it fun?”
He chuckled and hooked his foot in the chair, turning it around so he could drop his tall frame into it. Caroline remained propped against the edge of the desk, still effectively pinned there, because he was in the way, but she wasn’t paying attention to that any longer.
“I was sixteen when Dad married Mary, so I didn’t grow up with them, but it was fun in a different way. I was old enough to appreciate babies, to take care of them. The best times were when I would go home on leave and they would swarm all over me like little monkeys. Dad and Mary always take off for one night alone while I’m there, and I have the kids to myself. They aren’t little anymore, but we all still like it.”
She tried to imagine this big, dangerous-looking man relaxed and surrounded by kids. Even just talking about them had softened his face. It wasn’t until she saw him that way that she realized what a barrier he kept between himself and everyone else, because there was no barrier between him and his family. With them he would relax the iron control that characterized his every move, lose the remoteness that lay over his expression and in his eyes. The relationship he had with his men was different. It was the camaraderie that is established with a
group whose members work together and depend on each other for a long time. That wasn’t personal, and in a way it required him to retain his control. Suddenly she felt cold and a little lost, because she wasn’t inside his intimate little circle. She wanted him to relax that guard with her, let her see the inner man and get close to him. With her recent feminine awakening came another insight, one that hurt even more: she wanted him to want her enough to lose that frightening control. It hurt because he didn’t, and she knew it. What was frightening was that she knew it wouldn’t matter to her unless she was already far more involved emotionally than she had thought.
She became aware that she had been staring silently at him for several long minutes, and he had been just as quietly watching her, one eyebrow slightly quirked as he waited for her to say something. She blushed without knowing why. He came lithely to his feet, stepping forward, so close that his legs were touching hers. “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”
“You,” she blurted out. Why was he standing so close? Her pulse was beginning to race again. What was it about him that being close to him put her brain into neutral and her body into overdrive?
“What about me?”
She tried to think of something clever and casual, but she had never learned how to prevaricate or hide her feelings. “I don’t know anything about men. I don’t know how to act around them or how to attract them.”
His expression was wry. “You’re doing okay.”
What did he mean by that? She was being her usual blunt self, which had always sent men running. This was more difficult than she’d imagined it would be. She found that she was wringing her hands and was vaguely astonished at herself, because she’d never thought she was the hand-wringing type. “Am I? Good. I’ve never seen anyone I wanted to attract before, so I’m at something of a loss. I know you said we’d just pretend to have a relationship so your men wouldn’t bother me, but would it be too much of a bother for you if I wanted to make it more real?”