by Linda Howard
“If it’s an explanation, don’t bother,” she shot back. “You used me. Fine. But damn you, you didn’t have to take it as far as you did! Do you know how it makes me feel that I was such a fool to fall in love with you, when all you were doing was playing a game? Did it stroke your ego—”
He put his hand across her mouth. Above his tanned fingers, her gray eyes sparked pure rage at him. He took a deep breath. “First and most important thing is: I love you. That wasn’t a game. I started falling the minute I saw you. I tried to stop it but—” He shrugged that away and got back to the important part. “I love you so much I ache inside. I’m not good enough for you, and I know it—”
She swatted his hand aside, scowling at him. “What? I mean, I agree, after what you did, but—what do you mean?”
He took her hand and was relieved when she didn’t pull away from him. “I’m adopted,” he said. “That part’s fine. It’s the best. But I don’t know who my biological parents are or anything about them. They—she—tossed me into the street and forgot about me. I grew up wild in the streets, and I mean literally in the streets. I don’t remember ever having a home until I was about fourteen, when I was adopted. I could come from the trashiest people on the planet, and probably do, otherwise they wouldn’t have left me to starve to death in the gutter. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but if you marry me, you have to know what you’ll be getting.”
“What?” she said again, as if she couldn’t understand what he was telling her.
“I should have asked you to marry me before,” he said, getting it all out. “But—hell, how could I ask anyone to marry me? I’m a wild card. You don’t know what you’re getting with me. I was going to let you go, but then I found out about the baby and I couldn’t do it. I’m selfish, Sunny. I want it all, you and our baby. If you think you can take the risk—”
She drew back, such an incredulous, outraged look on her face that he almost couldn’t bear it. “I don’t believe this,” she sputtered, and slapped him across the face.
She wasn’t back to full strength, but she still packed a wallop. Chance sat there, not even rubbing his stinging jaw. His heart was shriveling inside him. If she wanted to hit him again, he figured he deserved it.
“You fool!” she shouted. “For God’s sake, my father was a terrorist! That’s the heritage I’m carrying around, and you’re worried because you don’t know who your parents were? I wish to hell I didn’t know who my father was! I don’t believe this! I thought you didn’t love me! Everything would have been all right if I’d known you love me!”
Chance uttered a startled, profound curse, one of Nick’s really, really bad words. Put in those terms, it did sound incredibly trivial. He stared at her lovely, outraged face, and the weight lifted off his chest as if it had never been. Suddenly he wanted to laugh. “I love you so much I’m half crazy with it. So, will you marry me?”
“I have to,” she said grumpily. “You need a keeper. And let me tell you one thing, Chance Mackenzie, if you think you’re still going to be jetting all over the world getting stabbed and shot at while you get your adrenaline high, then you’d better think again. You’re going to stay home with me and this baby. Is that understood?”
“Understood,” he said. After all, the Mackenzie men always did whatever it took to keep their women happy.
Epilogue
Sunny was asleep, exhausted from her long labor and then the fright and stress of having surgery when the baby wouldn’t come. Her eyes were circled with fatigue, but Chance thought she had never been more beautiful. Her face, when he laid the baby in her arms, had been exalted. Until he died, he would never forget that moment. The medical personnel in the room had faded away to nothing, and it had been just him and his wife and their child.
He looked down at the wrinkled, equally exhausted little face of his son. The baby slept as if he had run a marathon, his plump hands squeezed into fierce little fists. He had downy black hair, and though it was difficult to judge a newborn’s eye color, he thought they might turn the same brilliant gray as Sunny’s.
Zane poked his head in the door. “Hi,” he said softly. “I’ve been sent to reconnoiter. She’s still asleep, huh?”
Chance looked at his wife, as sound asleep as the baby. “She had a rough time.”
“Well, hell, he weighs ten pounds and change. No wonder she needed help.” Zane came completely into the room, smiling as he examined the unconscious little face. “Here, let me hold him. He needs to start meeting the family.” He took the baby from Chance, expertly cradling him to his chest. “I’m your uncle Zane. You’ll see me around a lot. I have two little boys who are just itching to play with you, and your aunt Maris—you’ll meet her in a minute—has one who’s just a little older than you are. You’ll have plenty of playmates, if you ever open your eyes and look around.”
The baby’s eyelids didn’t flicker open, even when Zane rocked him. His pink lips moved in an unconscious sucking motion.
“You forget fast how little they are,” Zane said softly as he smoothed his big hand over the baby’s small round skull. He glanced up at Chance and grinned. “Looks like I’m still the only one who knows how to make a little girl.”
“Yeah, well, this is just my first try.”
“It’ll be your last one, too, if they’re all going to weigh ten pounds,” came a voice from the bed. Sunny sighed and pushed her hair out of her eyes, and a smile spread across her face as she spied her son. “Let me have him,” she said, holding out her arms.
There was a protocol to this sort of thing. Zane passed the baby to Chance, and Chance carried him to Sunny, settling him in her arms. No matter how often he saw it, he was always touched by the communion between mother and new baby, that absorbed look they both got as if they recognized each other on some basic, primal level.
“Are you feeling well enough for company?” Zane asked. “Mom’s champing at the bit, wanting to get her hands on this little guy.”
“I feel fine,” Sunny said, though Chance knew she didn’t. He had to kiss her, and even now there was that flash of heat between them, even though their son was only a few hours old. She pulled back, laughing a little and blushing. “Get away from me, you lech,” she said, teasing him, and he laughed.
“What are you going to name him?” Zane demanded. “We’ve been asking for months, but you never would say. It can’t stay a secret much longer.”
Chance trailed his finger down the baby’s downy cheek, then he put his arms around both Sunny and the baby and held them close. Life couldn’t get much better than this.
“Wolf,” he said. “He’s little Wolf.”
Mackenzie’s Magic
By Linda Howard
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Chapter 1
Her head hurt.
The pain thudded against the inside of her skull, pounded on her eyeballs. Her stomach stirred uneasily, as if awakened by all the commotion.
“My head hurts.” Maris Mackenzie voiced the complaint in a low, vaguely puzzled tone. She never had headaches; despite her delicate appearance, she possessed in full the Mackenzie iron constitution. The oddity of her condition was what had startled her into speaking aloud.
She didn’t open her eyes, didn’t bother to look at the clock. The alarm hadn’t gone off, so it wasn’t time to get up. Perhaps if she went back to sleep the headache would go away.
“I’ll get you some aspirin.”
Maris’s eyes snapped open, and the movement made her head give a sickening throb.
The voice was male, but even more startling, it had been right beside her; so close, in fact, that the man had only murmured the words and still his warm breath had stirred against her
ear. The bed shifted as he sat up.
There was a soft click as he turned on the bedside lamp, and the light exploded in her head. Quickly she squeezed her eyes shut again, but not before she saw a man’s broad, strongly muscled, naked back, and a well-shaped head covered with short, thick dark hair.
Confused panic seized her. Where was she? Even more important, who was he? She wasn’t in her bedroom; one glance had told her that. The bed beneath her was firm, comfortable, but not hers.
An exhaust fan whirred to life when he turned on the bathroom light. She didn’t risk opening her eyes again, but instead relied on her other senses to orient herself. A motel, then. That was it. And the strange whumping sound she had only now heard was the blower of the room’s climate-control unit.
She had slept in plenty of motels, but never before with a man. Why was she in a motel, anyway, instead of her own comfortable little house close by the stables? The only time she stayed in motels was when she was traveling to or from a job, and since she had settled in Kentucky a couple of years ago the only traveling she’d done had been when she went home to visit the family.
It was an effort to think. She couldn’t come up with any reason at all why she was in a motel with a strange man.
Sharp disappointment filled her, temporarily piercing the fogginess in her brain. She had never slept around before, and she was disgusted with herself for having done so now, an episode she didn’t remember with a man she didn’t know.
She knew she should leave, but she couldn’t seem to muster the energy it would take to jump out of bed and escape. Escape? She wondered fuzzily at the strange choice of word. She was free to leave any time she wanted…if she could only manage to move. Her body felt heavily relaxed, content to do nothing more than lie there. She needed to do something, she was certain, but she couldn’t quite grasp what that something was. Even aside from the pain in her head, her mind felt fuzzy, and her thoughts were vague and drifting.
The mattress shifted again as he sat down beside her, this time on the side of the bed closest to the wall, away from the hurtful light. Carefully Maris risked opening her eyes just a little; perhaps it was because she was prepared for the pain, but the resultant throb seemed to have lessened. She squinted up at the big man, who sat so close to her that his body heat penetrated the sheet that covered her.
He was facing her now; she could see more of him than just his back. Her eyes widened.
It was him.
“Here you go,” he said, handing the aspirin to her. His voice was a smooth, quiet baritone, and though she didn’t think she’d ever spoken to him before, something about that voice was strangely familiar.
She fumbled the aspirin from his hand and popped them into her mouth, making a face at both the bitter taste of the pills and her own idiocy. Of course his voice was familiar! After all, she’d been in bed with him, so she supposed she had talked to him beforehand, even if she couldn’t remember meeting him, or how she’d gotten here.
He held out a glass of water. Maris tried to prop herself up on her elbow to take it, but her head throbbed so violently that she sank back against the pillow, wincing with pain as she put her hand to her forehead. What was wrong with her? She was never sick, never clumsy. This sudden uncooperativeness of her own body was alarming.
“Let me do it.” He slipped his arm under her shoulders and effortlessly raised her to a sitting position, bracing her head in the curve of his arm and shoulder. He was warm and strong, his scent musky, and she wanted to press herself closer. The need surprised her, because she’d never before felt that way about a man. He held the glass to her lips, and she gulped thirstily, washing down the pills. When she was finished, he eased her down and removed his arm. She felt a pang of regret at the loss of his touch, astonishing herself.
Fuzzily she watched him walk around the bed. He was tall, muscular, his body showing the strength of a man who did physical work instead of sitting in an office all day. To her mingled relief and disappointment, he wasn’t completely naked; he wore a pair of dark gray knit boxers, the fabric clinging snugly to his muscled butt and thighs. Dark hair covered his broad chest, and beard stubble darkened his jaw. He wasn’t handsome, but he had a physical presence that drew the eye. It had drawn hers, anyway, since she’d first seen him two weeks ago, forking down hay in the barn.
Her reaction then had been so out of character that she had pushed it out of her mind and ignored it, or at least she had tried. She had deliberately not spoken to him whenever their paths crossed, she who had always taken pains to know everyone who worked with her horses. He threatened her, somehow, on some basic level that brought all her inner defenses screaming to alert. This man was dangerous.
He had watched her, too. She’d turned around occasionally and found his gaze on her, his expression guarded, but still, she’d felt the male heat of his attention. He was just temporary help, a drifter who needed a couple of weeks’ pay in his pocket before he drifted away again, while she was the trainer at Solomon Green Horse Farms. It was a prestigious position for anyone, but for a woman to hold the job was a first. Her reputation in the horse world had made her a sort of celebrity, something she didn’t particularly enjoy; she would rather be with the horses than putting on an expensive dress and adorning a party, but the Stonichers, who owned Solomon Green, often requested her presence. Maris wasn’t a snob, but her position on the farm was worlds apart from that of a drifter hired to muck out the stables.
He knew his way around horses, though; she’d noticed that about him. He was comfortable with the big animals, and they liked him, which had drawn her helpless attention even more. She hadn’t wanted to pay attention to the way his jeans stretched across his butt when he bent or squatted, something that he seemed to do a thousand times a day as he worked. She didn’t want to notice the muscles that strained the shoulder seams of his shirts as he hefted loaded shovels or pitchforks. He had good hands, strong and lean; she hadn’t wanted to notice them, either, or the intelligence in his blue eyes. He might be a drifter, but he drifted for his own reasons, not because he wasn’t capable of making a more stable life for himself.
She’d never had time for a man in her life, hadn’t particularly been interested. All her attention had been focused on horses, and building her career. In the privacy of her bed at night, when she wasn’t able to sleep and her restless body felt too hot for comfort, she had admitted to herself the irony of her hormones finally being kicked into full gallop by a man who would likely be gone in a matter of weeks, if not days. The best thing to do, she’d decided, would be to continue ignoring him and the uncomfortable yearnings that made her want to be close to him.
Evidently she hadn’t succeeded.
She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the light as she watched him return the water glass to the bathroom, and only then did she notice what she herself was wearing. She wasn’t naked; she was wearing her panties, and a big T-shirt that drooped off her shoulders. His T-shirt, specifically.
Had he undressed her, or had she done it herself? If she looked around, would she find their clothes haphazardly tossed together? The thought of him undressing her interfered with her lung function, constricting her chest and stifling her oxygen flow. She wanted to remember—she needed to remember—but the night was a blank. She should get up and put on her own clothes, she thought. She should, but she couldn’t. All she could do was lie there and cope with the pain in her head while she tried to make sense of senseless things.
He was watching her as he came back to bed, his blue eyes narrowed, the color of his irises vivid even in the dim light. “Are you all right?”
She swallowed. “Yes.” It was a lie, but for some reason she didn’t want him to know she was as incapacitated as she really was. Her gaze drifted over his hairy chest and flat belly, down to the masculine bulge beneath those tight boxers. Had they really…? For what other reason would they be in a motel bed together? But if they had, why were they both wearing underwear?
&
nbsp; Something about those sophisticated boxer shorts seemed a little out of place on a guy who did grunt work on a horse farm. She would have expected plain white briefs.
He turned off the lamp and stretched out beside her, the warmth of his body wrapping around her as he settled the sheet over them. He lay on his side, facing her, one arm curled under his pillow and the other resting across her belly, holding her close without actually wrapping her in his embrace. It struck her as a carefully measured position, close without being intimate.
She tried to remember his name, and couldn’t.
She cleared her throat. She couldn’t imagine what he would think of her, but she couldn’t bear this fogginess in her mind any longer. She had to bring order to this confusion, and the best way to do that was to start with the basics. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, almost whispering. “But I don’t remember your name, or—or how we got here.”
He went rigid, his arm tightening across her belly. For a long moment he didn’t move. Then, with a muffled curse, he sat bolt upright, the action jarring her head and making her moan. He snapped on the bedside lamp again, and she closed her eyes against the stabbing light.
“Damn it,” he muttered, bending over her. He sank his long fingers into her hair, sifting through the tousled silk as he stroked his fingertips over her skull. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”
“I didn’t know I was.” It was the truth. What did he mean, hurt?
“I should have guessed.” His voice was grim, his mouth set in a thin line. “I knew you were pale, and you didn’t eat much, but I thought it was just stress.” He continued probing, and his fingers brushed a place on the side of her head that made her suck in her breath as a sickening throb of pain sliced through her temples.