by Anna Schmidt
His last lecture.
He stared blindly at his notes, the words swimming before his eyes as he heard the hall fill with students, so full of life with their laughter and chatter. When the room grew quiet, he continued to stare at the water-stained papers before him. He allowed himself one moment of fantasy in which he imagined telling the students of his impending dismissal and envisioned them rising up and marching as one to the office of the chancellor to demand his reinstatement. The very idea of such an insurrection actually made him smile through his tears.
Then reality took charge. He stacked his notes and tapped them into alignment on the edge of the lectern before putting them back inside his briefcase. He switched off the lamp over the lectern and looked up at the students for the first time.
They all watched him, their expressions rapt with curiosity and interest. He had achieved what every professor dreams of—the undivided attention of this assembly. He could feel their eyes following him as he made his way to the exit, briefcase in hand. When he reached the door, he turned and looked back at the lectern that had been like a stage for him—a place where he had known his worth.
“Class dismissed,” he said softly and left the room.
The minute she entered the apartment after collecting Liesl from school, Beth knew something had changed. Instead of being in his study preparing a lecture or researching something for an article he intended to write, Uncle Franz was in the kitchen, standing by the open window, a bottle of milk in his hand.
In the winter the family often used the small balcony outside the window as a makeshift second refrigerator, setting the milk and butter and eggs out there to allow more space in the actual refrigerator for other things. But they had not needed to store anything out there for weeks. What food they had fit with room to spare. Times were hard—even harder than they had been before the holidays.
“Uncle?”
The glass bottle slipped from his fingers and shattered in the sink as his shoulders slumped and then shook violently. His tears came accompanied by audible gasps and moans.
“Papa!” Liesl screamed and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his legs.
Beth pulled the girl free. “Go to the bathroom and get me a wet cloth,” she instructed, trying to hold back her own fear. “Your father has cut his hand. Go.”
Once Liesl had left the room, Beth guided Franz to the nearest chair. “Let me see,” she said, taking hold of his hand. “It doesn’t appear to be too bad.” She looked at him then—at his red-rimmed eyes, his thin hair standing up in tufts as if he had repeatedly run his hands through it, his wire-rimmed glasses askew on his forehead. “Now calm yourself. Where is Aunt Ilse?”
“I sent her to the market. I told her….” He drew in a shuddering sigh. “I lied to her. I gave her money and told her they were selling oranges.”
“What has happened?”
Liesl came running just then with a cloth soaked and dripping all over the floor. “Here,” she said, thrusting the cloth at Beth and then immediately climbing onto her father’s lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. “It will be all right,” she assured him. “We can put a bandage on it until it heals.”
Beth took the cloth to the sink to wring out the excess water and wondered if the sound her uncle made was an attempt at laughter at his daughter’s unintentional analysis of their new situation. Outside the still-open kitchen window, a clock chimed the hour. Four thirty. Beth mentally ran through the usual schedule. On Thursdays, Uncle Franz had a late-afternoon lecture—a lecture that began at four o’clock. She turned to face him. Their gazes met, and he nodded in answer to her unspoken question.
“Liesl, why don’t you go into the front room so you can watch for your mother? We don’t want to upset her when she gets home and realizes that your father has cut himself.”
“I’ll tell her that everything is going to be all right so that she is not scared like she gets,” Liesl announced as she hurried off to the front room, closing the door behind her.
“Tell me,” Beth said as she tended to her uncle’s cut.
He released a shuddering sigh and then told her the story.
“Josef’s father? But how…?”
“He overheard a conversation at some social gathering he was attending. The fact is that he came to warn me because of Josef—out of gratitude. He also made it clear that we should go away—he suggested moving to Eglofs and living with Marta.”
“But Munich is your home.” She tied the ends of the gauze bandage and glanced at him. “Is this because of me? Is that the reason for…?”
He cupped her cheek. “Nein, Liebchen. You mustn’t think that. No, what I believe that Herr Buch was trying to tell me is that my activities are being observed. They may have even discovered my association with…”
“If they know about you, then they surely know about Josef.” Her heart hammered with a level of fear that she hoped never again to experience. “That is why Herr Buch came to you. Josef is also in danger, and he believes that if we leave Josef will follow us.”
“I believe that what he was telling me is that we are all in danger, Beth.” They heard the front door to the apartment open and close and Liesl’s excited but muffled voice telling her mother about Franz’s cut hand. “But he is fine. Beth bandaged it, and the bleeding has stopped, and…”
Beth prepared herself for her aunt’s collapse into hysteria as the door to the kitchen opened and Liesl burst in and ran to her father.
Aunt Ilse calmly set a small paper bag on the table and slowly began removing her gloves. “Beth, please take Liesl to the park,” she said quietly, then turned to Liesl. “Your father and I need to talk privately.”
It was evident that Liesl was as taken aback by this unexpected change in her mother’s demeanor as Beth was. “I’ll get my coat,” she said and left the room without a word of protest.
“It has happened?” Aunt Ilse said, looking from Uncle Franz to Beth and back again.
“Ja. Not officially but then I did not stop at my office. I am certain there is a letter waiting there.”
“We can speak with Josef,” Beth said. “It was his father who—”
“Beth, please attend to Liesl,” Aunt Ilse interrupted. “Your uncle and I need to consider what options lay ahead for us.”
“But—”
“Enough,” Ilse hissed, clenching her fists at her sides. “For once just do as I ask.”
Reluctantly Beth left the kitchen only to discover Liesl huddled in the foyer dressed for the winter’s day in her coat, hat, and mittens. She sat with her hands wrapped tightly around her knees as she squatted next to the door. “I’m scared,” she whispered. “I wish Josef was here.”
“So do I,” Beth agreed as she put on her coat. “I’ll tell you what. It’s almost time for his shift at the hospital to be over. Why don’t we go and meet him—surprise him?”
As she had hoped, the girl’s mood brightened immediately. “Let’s go,” she said as she leapt to her feet and flung the door open. “Josef will know what to do. He’s a doctor.”
But Josef was nowhere to be found—at least not any place that Beth felt she could take Liesl. Someone at the hospital told them he had left as soon as his shift ended. “Seemed in a terrible hurry about something,” the man added. And Beth remembered there was a meeting of the White Rose friends set for that evening.
“We should go home,” she told Liesl. “Your parents will wonder where we are.”
The two of them walked through the marketplace, taking the shortest route back to the apartment from the hospital. Beth was lost in thought and anxious to get Liesl home so she could make some excuse and go to the meeting and warn Josef and the others. She barely noticed that Liesl was also unusually quiet.
“Beth?” The girl’s voice shook. At first Beth thought it was the cold, but then she saw how Liesl looked up at her, her face puckered into a worried frown. “Is something really bad going to happen to us?”
“Of course not,�
�� she replied, stunned at the child’s perception of the events that had unfolded that afternoon. “It has just been a difficult day for your father and—”
“Something has happened, and I know that it made Papa very sad. Even when the bombs fall, Papa is never sad. He is always singing and telling me stories and holding tight to Mama and—”
Beth stopped and knelt down so that she and Liesl were looking directly at each other. She placed her hands on the girl’s shoulders and told her the truth as she knew it at that moment. “Liesl, we may be going away for a while—all of us. We may go to stay for a while with your Tante Marta and your cousins. You would enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”
Liesl looked doubtful but nodded, even as her eyes filled with tears.
“I mean think about it. There are almost never any bombs in the country. No need to be afraid when the planes come. No need to hide in the cellar. You can play outdoors with your cousins and—”
“But Papa cannot come, can he? He has to be at his work and—”
“No, Liesl. He is going to find another job.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why? Why will he find a new job?”
“Because if we move to the country—”
“He has been dismissed. My teacher said….” Her eyes widened in horror, and she began to howl like an animal caught in a trap.
Beth pulled her close as much to muffle her cries as to comfort her, for they were beginning to attract the attention of passersby. “Liesl, it will be all right. You’ll see.” She hoped that she was not lying to this child who had become as dear to her as a sister.
“It’s my fault,” Liesl wailed.
“No.”
“It is. My teacher said that the professors at the university sometimes did not teach what they should, and I told her that Papa was not like that. But then she asked me all sorts of questions about what he taught and what he said about Herr Hitler and whether or not at home we…”
Again she dissolved into tears, and she clung to Beth so tightly that Beth lifted her into her arms and carried her down the street. “Shhh,” she whispered soothingly, even as her heart raced with this new evidence that Liesl’s teacher had possibly—probably—reported her uncle to the authorities.
“I hate my teacher—and Herr Hitler,” Liesl said, her voice rising in tandem with her fury.
Beth glanced quickly around. They had turned onto the block of shops where the bakery was. They were almost home. She set Liesl down as she rummaged through her purse for the key to the entrance leading to the apartments. “You must not say such things,” she told Liesl. “You are a Friend and as such have no room in your heart for such feelings.”
“I wish we could just go away from here and never come back. I wish we could go live in America with you. I wish—”
“Be still now,” Beth instructed as she followed Liesl up the stairs. “It is not the time to speak. It is the time to listen.” And to pray.
CHAPTER 15
The following morning while Aunt Ilse packed and Uncle Franz spent time in his study going through his papers—burning some in the kitchen stove and ripping others to shreds—Beth tried to concentrate on Liesl’s incessant chatter. Having apparently decided overnight that a move to the country was a good idea, she talked without ceasing about what they might expect.
“I suppose I will share a room,” she said with a sigh.
“You share one now—with me,” Beth reminded her. She stood at the window, watching for any sign of Josef. He had not come home all night, and the last any of them had seen or heard of him had been the previous morning when they had all naively believed they were safe.
What if he had been detained for questioning? Arrested? Or worse?
As Liesl’s high voice pierced the air, Beth forced herself to make what she hoped were the appropriate sounds of agreement or listening, but her mind was on Josef. Where was he?
“Beth?” Her uncle had come into the small bedroom without her realizing it. “Could you do something for me?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I need you to go to the university—to my office. I believe that I may have left something there—some important papers.”
Her eyes widened in fear. Josef had told her of her uncle’s determination to author the next leaflet. Now she saw how his hand shook as he handed her a key. “Do you know where they might be?” she asked.
“Under the blotter on my desk.”
Beth nodded and hurried to put on her coat and hat.
“If someone stops you or interrupts you or if they have changed the lock or already—”
“I understand,” Beth assured him. “Don’t worry.”
“You must hurry,” he reminded her. “Our train leaves….”
“I know.” She was halfway down the first flight of stairs when she turned and saw her uncle standing in the open doorway of the apartment watching her. “If I am not back in time, go without me,” she instructed. “Josef and I will get a later train.” They were scheduled to leave just after two, and it was already approaching ten o’clock. By the time she got to the university and reached her uncle’s office without attracting attention and then made it all the way to the train station, it would be nearly time for the train to leave.
“I—”
“Promise,” she whispered, coming back to stand near him in case any neighbors might be listening. “Because once I am done with your errand, I am going to find Josef.”
He touched her cheek and grasped her hand in his. “I don’t know how we would have survived without you, Beth,” he said, his voice breaking. “They may come for me yet, and if they do…”
“I will make sure that Aunt Ilse and Liesl are safe,” she promised. “But you must get on that train if you can. It’s your only chance.” She did not wait for his answer but pulled her hand free of his grip and ran down the four flights of stairs to the street.
She wanted to run the distance to the university, but she also did not wish to draw attention to herself. Instead she walked as quickly as possible down the narrow cobblestone streets, across busy squares, slowing to a normal pace every time she saw soldiers or Gestapo agents so as to not draw attention to her haste. When the university was in sight, she broke into a run, keeping her eyes fixed on the massive building with its high arched windows and stone statue sentries that lined the rooftop as if looking down on her with disapproval.
It was already after ten o’clock. There was no time to waste.
In the lobby she saw Willi Graf on his way to class. Traute LaFrenz was with him, and Beth waved to them both. She remembered then that he and Josef both attended Professor Huber’s lecture at that hour, so she stopped in the atrium of the building, hoping to see Josef hurrying to class as well.
When there was no sign of him, Beth started up the wide stairway past a pair of life-sized white marble figures to the floor above. She stopped long enough to peer into the lecture hall where Professor Huber was about to begin his class to make sure that Josef was not there. She saw lots of men in uniform but no Josef. As she made her way along the corridor, one by one doors closed as classes began. Beth was relieved to realize that she was alone except for the custodian sweeping the stairs. With a nod to him she hurried past, hoping that he would assume she was simply late for class. Her uncle’s office was down a narrow side corridor.
Reaching her uncle’s office, she fumbled in her pocket for the key before realizing that the door stood slightly open. She stood frozen outside the door, listening for sounds of movement inside. After a long moment she cautiously pushed the door all the way back and stepped inside.
The room was a chaotic mess. Drawers open, files scattered, and the blotter stained with a spilt bottle of black ink lay on the floor along with a broken desk lamp, the plaster cup that Liesl had made in school and given to him to hold his pencils, and the nameplate that identified him as professor of natural sciences.
It took time to sift through all the papers and file folders
scattered around the room, but she was fairly certain that whoever had searched the office had already taken any incriminating documents. She glanced at a wall clock and saw that it was nearly eleven. Classes would be letting out soon, and the halls would be filled with students. She picked up the heavy black receiver of the telephone that sat precariously on a corner of the desk and dialed the apartment.
As soon as her uncle answered, she uttered two words and quickly hung up the phone. “Go now,” she whispered, and she knew that he would understand.
Knowing she needed to get away from his office without being noticed, she stepped into the hallway and looked both ways before setting the door open to the degree it had been when she arrived. She could go down a back stairway, but she still hoped that perhaps Josef had arrived late for Professor Huber’s lecture and she could warn him so that he could get to safety.
On tiptoe to keep her leather heels from echoing on the tile floor, she ran to the end of the hallway and edged close enough to the balustrade that she could see the floors below her and the main lobby. A few students were leaving their classroom as others began drifting in for their eleven o’clock lectures. Willi and Traute were just leaving the building. Beth called out to them and again they waved but left the building without stopping to visit.
A moment later she saw Hans and Sophie enter the large reception area below her. One was carrying a suitcase she recognized as one they used to store leaflets and the other carried a briefcase. They started up the stairs and headed along a corridor, leaving leaflets outside classroom doors. Then together they ran to the very top floor of the building.
Beth had little time for worrying about Hans and Sophie. She had her own problems. She hurried across the lobby, intent on catching up with Willi and Traute. Josef and Willi had the same class schedule, and she knew that their next class was in a building closer to the hospital. If she could just catch the same streetcar that Willi and Traute were no doubt catching, she could find Josef and go with him straight to the train station. There was still time to meet up with her aunt and uncle and Liesl. There was still time to escape Munich.