by Dee J. Stone
Looking into the shop, I see him serving customers behind the counter. He’s wearing his Juice Me apron and hat, and he looks so, so cute. I never told him this, but when I first saw him in his uniform, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. There was just something about the way he looked in it that tugged my heart. The way he smiled to each customer and chatted with them as he made their smoothies. Of course, my heart fell to my toes when I saw him flirting with other girls. And of course I made it seem like I couldn’t stand his guts, even though I wanted more than anything to be his friend again.
Sometimes when I get hit with these memories, I can’t help but marvel at how far we’ve come. But we still have a long way to go. Taking a deep breath, I open the door and walk in. The small bell echoes throughout the shop, turning some heads toward my direction. But not Cruiser. I’m relieved because it gives me a few extra minutes to collect my thoughts. I want to be there for him and let him understand that he can talk to me about whatever lies in his heart, but I don’t want to be the pushy, naggy girlfriend. I don’t want to feel like I need to walk on eggshells when I’m around him, but I’m terrified of pushing him away.
He’s tending to a couple at the counter and doesn’t see me. I stand in line. Cruiser’s coworker, Freddie, sees me. I put my finger on my lips, asking him to keep quiet because I want to surprise Cruiser. He winks and smiles.
“Next,” Cruiser calls.
I step forward. Cruiser’s eyes register surprise when they land on me. Smiling, I lean closer. “Hey. Fancy meeting you here.”
He chuckles. His whole face lights up like I made his day. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
I sit on one of the stools and rest my elbows on the counter. It’s been a month since I was here. “Remember what happened the last time?” I ask.
His eyes flash with the memory. He grins. “Sure do.”
He convinced me to try one of Freddie’s experimental smoothies, which actually tasted pretty good. Then he and I went to the storage room, where we had a small make out session and talked. That was where he convinced me to stick with dance. The memories are so clear it’s like they happened yesterday. It was hard to be open with him because I had just broken up with Rey.
“Can I get you anything?” he asks.
“Sure. Surprise me.”
He works on my smoothie. I can almost see the black cloud hovering over his head. He’s pretending to be cheerful, though.
He finishes my smoothie and sets it down in front of me. “Kiwi strawberry.”
“Thanks.” I drop the money and reach for a straw, jabbing it through the lid. Cruiser watches me drink. “Mmm. Delicious.”
“Knew you’d like it.”
I take another sip. “Everything okay?”
“Sure. Why you ask?”
“No reason. You just seem upset.”
He smiles widely. “No, I’m cool.”
I know he’s lying. And that kills me. Why won’t he be open with me and tell me what’s bothering him? But I don’t say anything. It’ll just upset him further.
“Can I get you anything else, Lex?”
“No, thanks.”
His eyes search mine. “How was practice?”
“Not bad.”
“That’s good.”
We’re quiet. I need to know what’s wrong. I can’t stand seeing him so hurt. But maybe…maybe he’s not ready to talk to me about it. Whenever I have a problem, the first person I want to talk to about it is Cruiser. But he’s not like me. Maybe he needs to figure some things out on his own before he feels comfortable to discuss them with me. Maybe it’s enough that I just be here with him, offering my company.
“Missed Juice Me?” he asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
I laugh lightly. “More like I missed Juice Me’s most valuable employee.”
He laughs, too. “I was actually thinking about you right before you came in.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. But that shouldn’t be too surprising, since I’m always thinking about you.”
I giggle, feeling my cheeks heat up. My stomach does a few flips.
“Do you need to head home soon?” Cruiser asks.
“Nah. I’ll stick around for a bit.”
He leans forward to kiss me. “Thanks.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cruiser
Watching Lex drink another smoothie at the counter changes something inside me. She’s ordered her third one. Because she wants to keep me company. Because she knows something’s bothering me. I love this girl so much, so much it scares me. I’ve never felt this strongly about anything or anyone. It’s a damn scary thing.
She’s right—something is bothering me. My ship. I feel pathetic, being so upset over a stupid ship. Other people out there are going through worse things. Illness, death. And I’m crying over a model ship.
I don’t want Lex to know it’s destroyed. I guess it means something special to her, too, since she was with me every step of the way. When my grandparents gave it to me, when I changed my name. She teased me constantly when I was a kid. She spent so much money on a new case. I don’t want her to feel as disappointed as me. Maybe it’s silly. Hell, I don’t know.
“What?” she says.
I blink. “Hmm?”
“You’re looking at me funny.”
“Just like looking at you. Can never get tired of your face.”
Her gaze drops to her smoothie. Cheeks get red. She’s so cute when she blushes. We’ve been going out for a little over a month and she still gets embarrassed when I compliment her.
She has no idea how much she means to me. Seriously, I can sit with her all day and that would be enough. All I need is to look into those blue eyes and I’m lost.
“Cruiser, get more cups from the back,” my boss Jackie yells, snapping me out of my Lex dream. I go to the storage room. The place means something different to me, ever since I brought Lex in here. We were having fun with smoothies and I had to be alone with her. She just broke up with Rey and I knew I had to stay a few feet away. But I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to talk to her. Touch her. Kiss her. I know where I backed her into the wall and kissed her, lifting her a few inches off the ground. I know where I laid her Sharkettes jacket on the floor and lowered her on it. Climbed on top of her. Had a talk.
It’s memories like these that mean a lot to me. They get stuck in my head, where I’ll lock them and keep them safe. I want to have more in the future. Can’t wait to have more. Lex thinks I hold back from her. Maybe I do. But it’s not because I don’t trust her or don’t want to open up to her. I just don’t want to be negative around her. When I’m with her, I want to be happy. Want to see her face shine. Want to make her smile and giggle.
I grab the cups and walk out of the storage room. Derek and Jared, Rey’s friends, are standing in line. I nod to them. “Sup? What would you like to order?”
They exchange a glance. Derek steps closer. “Strawberry.”
“Jared?”
He shrugs, pushing his messy dark hair out of his face. “I’ll have the same.”
“Coming right up.”
I work on their smoothies. When I hand it to them, Jared says, “Hey, Cruiser?”
“Yeah?”
“Where’s Rey been these days?”
Both he and Derek look at me with hope in their eyes. Like I’m going to tell them to have no fear because Rey still wants to hang with them, he’s just on vacation or something. The three of them have been tight for a long time. They met in some nerd club in middle school.
“He’s been around,” I say.
They exchange another glance. Don’t say anything for a bit. Then Jared says, “He doesn’t want to hang out with us, does he?”
My gaze moves to Lex. She gives me a reassuring nod. How do you tell your twin brother’s best friends that he’s being a dick? I clear my throat. “Give him some time. I’m sure he’ll come around.”
“Did we do something?” Derek asks.
/> “No one did anything. You know Rey. He doesn’t do well when he’s stressed. Trust me, he’ll come around.”
They both nod unsurely. Derek says, “Thanks for the smoothies, man.”
“No prob.”
Once they’re gone, Lex leans forward. “Well, Mr. Dalton, you handled that situation impeccably well.”
“Not used to this,” I mumble.
She rubs my arm. “You did a good job. They’re worried about him. I am, too.”
I want to talk to her about Rey. Tell her how I’m even more worried than I was a few days ago. Mom found him with drugs. Not sure what, but something pretty heavy. I thought he was done with that shit after what happened with that Jake guy. Damn, when will he learn anything? Where the hell is his head?
Jackie walks over to the counter with a girl behind her. I straighten up. Oh shit. Erica Sandford.
I glance at Lex. See how uncomfortable she looks.
“This is our latest Juice Me girl,” Jackie says. “She starts tomorrow. You’ll be training her.”
My mouth gets dry. What the hell? Erica’s going to work here? When I look at Erica, she smiles. Checks me out. Oh no. Hell no.
Lex gets up and grabs her bag. “I’ve got to go.”
“Lex.” I reach for her hand, but all I get is air.
“I’m leaving early,” I tell Jackie, untying my apron. I throw it along with my cap onto the counter. “Lex, wait!”
“Don’t forget about the party,” Jackie calls after me.
I catch up to Lex outside the shop and grip her arm softly. “Stop. Please.”
She slowly turns around. “She’s going to work with you?”
I hold out my hands. “I didn’t know. I’m just as surprised as you.” Hell, is this some sort of ploy or something? I rejected her over and over. What does she want from me?
Lex opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it. I see it in her eyes: you slept with her. But she doesn’t say anything.
We just stare at each other. I see the worry in her eyes. But again, she doesn’t say anything.
“I can ask Jackie not to hire her,” I offer.
She folds her arms. “Would you really do that?”
“I don’t know. No. It ain’t right.”
Her arms are still folded.
“Lex, please say something. I know you want to.”
She shuts her eyes and breathes out of her nose. “Okay, fine. I don’t want her working with you. Why did she specifically apply to Juice Me? Is she after you or something?”
My body stiffens. “Of course not.”
She takes in a sharp breath.
“You don’t trust me,” I mumble, the realization hitting me over the head like a boulder.
“Of course I do,” she says. “It’s her I don’t trust.”
“That’s basically saying the same thing.”
“You slept with her.”
My jaw twitches. “You think I don’t know that? I regret it. All of it.”
“But this is the reality, Cruiser! You’re going to be working side by side with a girl who clearly is in love with you.”
“Bullshit,” I mutter, not wanting to accept her words as true. “She’s not in love with me. What we had? It was nothing. Just a casual…” My voice trails off when I see her nostrils flare. I clear my throat. “You don’t trust me. You don’t get how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I would never, ever hurt you. I would rather stab myself.”
Tears drip down her cheeks. “I know that,” she whispers. “I know. But…” She whacks the tears away. “What if you and I get into a fight? She’ll be there. And one thing would lead to another and then…you’ve never been in a committed relationship before.”
“You think I’d go running to another girl when we have problems?”
She throws her hands in the air. “I don’t know!”
“I can’t believe you of all people would make assumptions about me based on my past. I thought you looked past that. I thought you believed in me.”
More tears rush down her cheeks. “I do.”
“You’re judging me.” I turn my back on her and brush a hand through my hair. Tears of betrayal enter my eyes. “I can’t believe you’re judging me.”
“Cruiser. I’m sorry.” She rests a hand on my shoulder.
I shrug her off and head for my bike. “Call Dani to pick you up. I need to be alone.”
“Cruiser, please.”
I don’t look at her. I can’t believe she’d say that. Think that. My T. Rex.
I kick into gear and zoom off.
***
A few hours later, I park my bike in Juice Me’s lot. Jackie and her damn party. It’s her birthday and some of my coworkers want to kiss up to her. I don’t want to attend. Have no interest. But Jackie’s my boss and I’ve got no choice.
The drive did crap. I thought it’d clear my head. Make sense of what went down with Lex. But nothing could excuse what she said. My eyes tear up just thinking about it. Nothing is going to distract me, not even a lame party. I invited her to come and keep me company. I doubt she’ll show up now.
I head inside. The place is crowded. People are dancing, eating, drinking. A DJ plays music. It actually looks pretty cool. I don’t want to stay long, just enough for Jackie to see I made an effort to celebrate her special day. Then I’ll head home and distract myself with a game. I don’t want to talk to Lex. Hell, of course I do. But I also don’t. What she said…damn. Betrayal by those I love cuts deep, like someone’s slicing me with knives.
I munch on some cookies. My eyes move around the room. Is Jackie even here? Hell, I bet she won’t show up for another hour.
“Oh, look who it is!”
Hell no. I spin around to face that familiar voice. She hasn’t officially been working at Juice Me yet and she’s here? Holding a cup in her hand, her wavy hair wild like she took a tumble behind the bushes. I turn my back on her.
She steps around until she’s in front of me. “Why the long face?”
“Seriously not in the mood, Erica.”
“Mmm. My name is sexy on your lips.” She giggles and loses her balance for a second before catching herself.
I glance at the cup. “You’re drunk? They spiked the punch?”
She snorts. “No. This is from my…personal stash.” She raises her purse and smiles. She takes another sip. “I’m having lots of fun. Are you?”
Why won’t she leave me alone?
The music switches to a fast beat. Erica squeals and grabs my hand. “Dance with me, Cruiser!”
I pull my arm away. “No.”
She grabs hold of me again, her fingers clawing into my skin. She tugs me to the dance floor. I let her, only because I’m worried she’ll hurt herself if she continues yanking on me like this.
“You should go home,” I tell her. “Call someone to pick you up.”
She throws her arms around me. Nearly topples over. I wrap an arm around her to keep her steady before she drops to the floor and cracks her skull. “Let’s dance!”
“You should go home,” I tell her again, keeping my eyes anywhere but her face.
She grinds against me. I take hold of her hands and lift them off me. “Erica—”
“We used to have so much fun. Remember when we went clubbing a few weeks ago?”
This isn’t like her. She’s never been clingy. Hell, it was always me seeking her out, not the other way around. “What’s going on with you?” I ask.
She throws her arms around me again and dances against me. “You were the perfect distraction. Let’s go find a private place where we can—”
I softly pull her hands off me. “Erica—”
“You were such a great distraction when Jose broke up with me. Jerk has a girlfriend. Can you believe that? He fucking cheated on me and I forgave him. Then he breaks up with me to hook up with that skank! Freaking ass.”
She nearly tips over. I take hold of her waist again. This time, I look down at her, into her eye
s. And I see something. Something I never thought I’d see on her. Pain. Pure, agony. Sympathy fills me up. No matter who you are, where you come from, everyone goes through shit.
Erica smashes her lips to mine. Clutching the back of my head in an iron grip so I can’t pull away, she tugs me into the storage room and closes the door after her.
I push her off me. “Erica—”
“Kiss me, Cruiser.” Her voice is low and husky. Seductive. “I always got lost in your amazing kisses.”
“Stop it. I have a girlfriend. And even if I didn’t—”
She puts her finger on my lips. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“Damn, Erica—”
She leans forward to kiss me again, but I hold her back. “Please, Cruiser. Just one kiss.”
I keep her at arm’s length. “Did you take a job here because of me?”
She giggles and slaps my chest. “Aren’t you full of yourself?” She bends forward to kiss me with so much force that my hand slips from around her waist and her face bumps into my chest. She closes her eyes, smiles, and moans.
I try to get her off me, but she’s got me in a tight grip. I don’t want to hurt her. “Is there anyone I can call? Can I have your phone?”
“Your chest is hard as stone.” She moans again. “Are you still working out?”
Shit. I doubt anyone here knows her. I wish I could take her phone, but I can’t steal and can definitely not go snooping around in her pockets or purse.
I drag her out of the storage room and over to one of the tables. I try to pry her off me as gently as possible. It’s not an easy task, but after a few seconds, I lower her onto one of the chairs. She slumps to the side. I straighten her out. Run a hand down my face. What the hell am I supposed to do with her?
“You’re hot,” she says before putting the cup to her lips. I snatch it away.
“Can I have your phone?”
She grins. “Why? Want to look for some naughty pictures?”
I grit my teeth.
“It’s okay.” Still with a grin, she reaches into her bag and plucks it out. “I don’t mind if you look.”
I take her phone and scroll through her contacts. I don’t know anything about her life, who her friends are. I call the first girl on the list.