by Jane Toombs
Fay woke abruptly, alarmed. She’d been nursing the baby, where—? Seeing Marie asleep in the cradle, she frowned, trying to remember if she’d put her there. No, because if she had, she’d have fastened her bra and buttoned her shirt. That triggered a vague recollection of Dan’s warm fingers lightly touching her bare skin. Warmth curled within her. But wait, didn’t that memory belong to the night Dan had taken her in and buttoned her into his grandfather’s pajama top? Still, he must have put Marie in the cradle.
Enough speculation. Sitting up, she put herself to order. Dan was nowhere in sight. Listening, she heard the sound of someone chopping wood outside. She nodded, glad he wasn’t in reach because it gave her time to get over her annoyance at him being right about her needing a nap. Which was silly. Why was she angry with him? She really didn’t have a good reason. If it was about their relationship changing, she was as much at fault as he.
Okay, so it had to be herself she was mad at. Any relationship with Dan other than friendship was doomed to go nowhere. Once she was back in Archer she would be going back to work, part-time at first, but eventually full-time. There was no time in her life to worry about developing a relationship with a man right now. Especially another man who lacked the ambition to get ahead in his career.
She suddenly remembered she’d had the fiasco with Ken. She certainly hadn’t meant to hurt Ken, but there was no way she could have married him once she realized he had no ambition to advance in his career.
He’d called her cold-hearted. Clear-headed would have been more accurate. Just because she had a yen to be held and cuddled at the moment, and Dan was the only available male, didn’t mean she needed to muddy the waters any further.
When Dan came in carrying a load of kindling, she smiled at him. “You were right. What a difference a nap makes. Thanks for rescuing Marie. That’s the first time I’ve actually fallen asleep holding her.”
“You had her safely up against the back of the couch. But she did appreciate me picking her up. I got two rewards. The first was a burp.” He dumped the kindling in the wood-box before adding, “The other was a smile. And don’t tell me it was just gas. I know a smile when I see one.”
“Oh, no,” she wailed. “I missed her very first smile.”
“Now that she knows how, it’ll be your turn next.”
Relieved that she’d been able to free herself of any anger toward Dan, she smiled at him and said, “I’ll admit you deserved to be first. Any nonmedical man who can deliver a baby, learn to give her a bath without dropping her and also change a diaper without stabbing her with pins, certainly deserves that reward.”
Later, as she helped him prepare supper, Fay was pleased to find their relationship easing back into a casual friendship mode. The way it should be. She’d make sure it didn’t get dislodged again.
After supper and after Marie was settled for the night, Dan said, “Didn’t you say something about a game earlier?
“Has to be Scrabble,” Fay said. “I’m set on coming out on top.”
“Variety’s more fun.”
She toyed with the notion that might be a double entendre and decided to ignore it, if it was. “I want to win again and I will. Tonight.”
“You sound wired. Expecting to win a trophy?”
“Why not? Is there one?”
“I’ll come up with something.”
“In your double solitaire, luck counted,” she said. “It may count a bit in Scrabble, too, but skill is what wins.”
“You trying to psych me out?”
She smiled. “Why, not? All’s fair in—war.”
He chuckled. “Seems to me that’s not quite the way the quote goes. And, hey, it’s only a game.”
“I always come through with what I promise. That makes for success.”
Ignoring his frown, she picked her letters, only to find the best word she could spell was lover. She plunked her letters down.
Dan spelled desire. When their glances crossed he grinned at her.
The game went on, with them trading places back and forth as to who was ahead. But when he tallied the scores, hers was higher.
“I did it!” she cried, jumping to her feet. “I won.”
“Just like you promised,” he said as he rose from his chair. “You’ll be happy to know I’ve come up with a reward.”
When he came close, she threw her arms around Dan and hugged him.
He hugged her close. “To get your reward,” he said into her ear, “you need to lie face-down on the couch.”
Bemused by the shivery tickle from his warm breath against her ear, she pulled away from him and obeyed. “What now?” she asked.
“Shift over a little so I can sit beside you.”
When she did, he eased down and she felt his hands rest in the hollow of her back. “You’ve won a first-class back rub.”
“Are you a masseur as well as a cop?”
“Nope, but in college I dated a gal who was getting her degree in physical therapy, and I learned a few things from her.”
While Fay was wondering exactly what, he added, “Did you know a back rub has a different purpose than a massage?”
He ran his hands up her spine, his fingers gently gliding over her vertebrae. As he rubbed her shoulders and then began to slide a hand down each side of her body, he said, “A back rub is used to relax the patient. A massage might also do that, but the purpose is to tone the muscles. The back rub is more caressing.”
Was it ever. She imagined the gal from his college days doing this to him and was surprised to feel resentment.
“Don’t tense up,” he told her. “Defeats the purpose.”
Whatever he was doing felt incredibly good. She not only relaxed completely but felt that in a few minutes she was going to turn to warm Jell-O and flow off the couch into a puddle onto the floor. “Don’t ever stop,” she murmured.
“A man knows he’s doing something right when he hears those words from a woman.”
She smiled. Maybe this wasn’t cuddling, but what he was doing ranked right up there with it. She’d underestimated Dan.
“If I win again, do I get another back rub?” she asked.
“We might try leg massage or—”
“Thanks, but I’d rather stick to the back,” Fay said.
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
She began to imagine Dan’s hand rubbing her toes, her ankles, his hands sliding up her calves, over her knees and along her thighs. Which was a mistake because the back rub hadn’t triggered erotic feelings. Not until now, when her imagination took hold. She became conscious of how his fingers grazed the side of her breasts each time he ran his hands down. And how those hands rested for a moment on the curve of her buttocks before his fingers began the climb up her spine.
In no time at all she’d managed to work herself into a state that could lead nowhere. Summoning up a smidgen of willpower, she said, “Thanks, Dan, but I think I’m relaxed enough.”
He removed his hands, saying, “Was the reward worth the fight?”
“I consider it a prize worth winning.” Which was the understatement of the year.
He rose from the couch and looked down at her. “This reward works both ways, you know. When I win next time, it’ll be your turn to give me a back rub.”
She turned over and sat up. “Fat chance you’ll win.”
His eyebrows climbed. “Afraid?”
She shook her head. “It’s just as well you won’t win, because I’ve never given a back rub to anyone in my life.”
“No problem. I’m just the man to teach you.”
There was a problem. She couldn’t very well admit that she was wary of touching people, but touching him was different. She actually wanted to touch him, and that was scary.
Come on, girl, she admonished herself. What’s touching him through his clothes going to do to you? It’s not as though your hands would be on his bare skin.
Unfortunately the thought of skin-to-skin contact crea
ted such a vivid image in her mind that she felt her face flush.
“Well?” he said.
“I suppose on the off chance you do win, I can learn. It’s just that…”
“What?”
Okay, she might as well admit at least part of it. “I’m not fond of touching people.”
“Even friends?”
“It’s silly, I know. I figure maybe it’s because my parents weren’t touchers so as a kid I guess I didn’t learn that some kinds of touching were all right.”
“You can begin to practice with me. There’s nothing frightening about rubbing a friend’s back.”
Deciding there was no way she could back out without sounding really weird, Fay took a deep breath. “Luckily you don’t stand a chance of winning, Sergeant.”
“Just watch me, lady.”
She eyed him sternly. “I’m beginning to think your ‘reward’ was just a sneaky way to get me to give you a back rub.”
He grinned at her. “You wouldn’t believe me if I denied it. About touching, though—that hug you gave me doesn’t count?”
“Hugs are different. If something really fantastic happens, I might hug the person next to me. It’s spontaneous, not thought about.”
“Most of us ‘touchers’ don’t plan ahead. I’ve never once thought about whether or not I should slap a good buddy on the shoulder when I meet up with him.”
“Well, I do think about things like that. I just can’t help it. Maybe your parents were more intimate.”
Dan frowned and stared off into space.
Belatedly she remembered him telling her that his mother had left his father for another man and she could have bitten her tongue. Since there was no way to apologize, she didn’t attempt it. Instead, she changed the subject.
“Tomorrow’s Friday night, fish-fry night, right?”
He nodded.
“Casual, I hope. I really didn’t bring anything dressy with me.” Since he still seemed distracted, she added, “I probably wouldn’t fit into any if I had. What a bummer—anemic and still a few pounds too heavy.”
That focused him. He gave her a quick once-over before saying, “You look fine to me.”
“You keep telling me that, but you’ve only seen me pregnant and now. I used to be, well, svelte.”
“There’s a word I never cozied up to. Svelte always meant skinny to me.”
“I wasn’t skinny.”
“If you say so.”
“I wasn’t. I can show you pictures—” She broke off, realizing those pictures were back home in Archer and he wasn’t ever likely to see them. Shifting quickly, she said, “We really need to finish the film in that disposable camera. How many pictures are left?”
“Six. Since it’s going to rain tomorrow, let’s wait so Megan can take an indoor shot of the two of us together when we drop Marie off.”
Maybe I should take Megan up on her offer, Fay thought, and stay in town instead of coming back here. It might be better for all concerned. Except she knew it wouldn’t. Even if Dan stayed at the house, too, it wouldn’t be the same. The cabin was like a second home to her. Actually it was the only home Danny Marie had ever known. Not that the baby cared where she was as long as Mama was nearby. But Mama cared. Perhaps more than she should.
Luckily Danny Marie was not yet a month old. Too young to miss Dan, the one she’d bestowed her first smile on. Because it wasn’t likely they’d see Dan again once they were back in Archer. Even if he called, Fay wasn’t sure she’d want to see him. A friend, yes, but they really had very little in common. She doubted he would be persistent if she was cool to him. Which, of course, she would be. He surely would understand why.
Dan strode to the cradle, and Fay realized with a start that the baby was whimpering. She’d gotten so engrossed in her return-to-Archer scenario she actually hadn’t heard her daughter’s complaint. She watched him cuddle the baby to him, murmuring to her as he carried her to the table for a diaper change, and all of a sudden her chest felt as though a large and heavy rock had taken up residence there, a feeling she knew was emotional rather than truly physical.
In a couple of weeks she’d be leaving. And, though she and Dan might share the same city, in a sense, once she left the cabin, she would be leaving him for good, too.
It scared her to realize how much that disturbed her.
Chapter Seven
Despite the rain on Friday, or maybe because of it, Fay really looked forward to dinner out. Casual, Dan had said, but she wanted to—well, dazzle him. Impossible, given the fact, that though she was feeling a good deal better, her before-pregnancy clothes still didn’t fit right.
Still, when she examined herself in the bathroom mirror, she wasn’t too disappointed. The gold silk scoop neck shirt covered the fact that the black velveteen pants were maternity wear. Her face had certainly regained some color in the past week, and her careful application of makeup made her look more like the self she was used to. Though her hair still needed styling, she’d pulled some of it back with a gold ornament.
Not so bad, she told herself. Maybe not svelte, but good enough, considering what she had to work with. When she emerged into the main room, she was rewarded by the obvious admiration in Dan’s eyes.
He wore jeans, with a dark blue turtleneck shirt under his casual jacket and he nodded in approval, though she privately felt this guy would look good in anything he wore. Or nothing? Damn, where had that wayward thought come from?
“I’m expecting a lot from that picture window surprise of yours,” she warned him.
The rain had drizzled off to a fine mist by the time they reached Megan’s house in town. As Fay settled a sleeping Danny Marie into the crib, she had second thoughts. Maybe they should take the baby with them.
As though he’d read her mind, Dan said, “Don’t worry. Megan will overwhelm Marie with care, not ignore her.”
Realizing that sooner or later she had to leave her daughter in someone else’s care, Fay nodded, telling herself if Megan did run into trouble she could always call Dr. Bruce. But she worried all the way to the lodge. Stop that! she warned herself. How can you ever go back to work if you have this delusion that only you or Dan can take care of your baby properly?
Once inside the log lodge, she looked around, hoping to distract herself. Rustic, deliberately so, but it worked. The building was snuggled under tall evergreens, a true wilderness restaurant if ever there was one.
The dining room, with knotty-pine paneling, was a fair size and already half-filled, though it was still early. Once they were seated near the back of the room, Dan ordered a beer, but Fay stuck with water since she was nursing.
True to what he’d told her, a large window dominated the back wall, where outdoor spotlights illuminated a woodsy scene with a clearing in its midst. She glanced at Dan, eyebrows raised.
“Not yet. Be patient,” he advised.
The fish, when it arrived, was delicious. So were the French fries. She was nearly through with the meal when she noticed something moving outside the picture window. She saw a man dump something in the middle of the clearing, then hurry out of sight. Certainly that couldn’t be the surprise. She swallowed the last of the milk she’d ordered with the meal and almost choked when something huge and black ambled out of the pines toward the lodge.
“A bear,” she muttered when she could speak. “That’s a bear.” She’d never seen one outside of a zoo.
Dan nodded.
“Is he tame?” she asked as the bear, looking impossibly large and cuddly at the same time, stopped in the middle of the clear space and began eating what had been dumped there.
“No, he’s a wild bear. The lodge has a contract with him. They feed him leftovers every night in the same place and, in turn, he leaves their Dumpsters alone.”
She blinked at him, half taken in, before she shook her head. “Come on.”
“Okay, they lock their Dumpsters so they’re bear-proof. But he’s learned to show up at the same time every night
and not come around at any other time. The owner calls it operant conditioning. Bears rate high on the intelligence scale.”
Watching the bear fascinated her, as it did the other diners. He paid no attention to anything else but the food.
“I like your surprise,” she told Dan.
They were getting ready to leave when a blond woman about Fay’s age came up to their table. “Dan!” she exclaimed, giving him a hug. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen you. Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?”
“Actually I’m not, Anita,” he said as he smiled down at the woman, who looked impossibly sexy in a tight red dress with heels to match.
“Oh?” Anita said.
“Good to see you,” he told her.
Anita frowned as he placed a hand at the small of Fay’s back and began to usher her out.
“Old girlfriend?” Fay asked when they reached his truck.
He shrugged. “I went to school with her.”
Which told Fay exactly nothing. Since it was none of her business, what did it matter?
When they arrived to collect Danny Marie, Megan assured Fay the baby had been fine. “She didn’t like the nipple on the bottle at first, but she got used to it fast,” Megan said. “What a cutie.”
Though she urged them to stay for coffee, Dan refused. “This is Fay’s first night out. Let’s not overdo it.”
Fay waited until they got back in the truck with the baby before she said, “I can turn down my own invitations.”
“What? Did you want coffee?”
She sighed. “No, but you refused for both of us without asking me—or even glancing toward me.”
“I thought you’d be tired.”
“If I am, that’s beside the point. I could have made my own refusal, if you’d given me a chance.”