by Jane Toombs
She rose, tied her robe on and padded out to maneuver the chain into its slot. Then she head Danny Marie fussing. Fay lifted her daughter from the crib to change her. Since the baby didn’t seem hungry yet, Fay sat in the rocking chair, cuddling the baby and murmuring to her.
“Your mama has been very foolish,” she told her daughter. “But do you know—I don’t care. Getting ahead’s important, but so is—” She stopped abruptly, aware the word that hovered on the tip of her tongue—love—was one she couldn’t possibly mean. Didn’t mean. Love had nothing to do with what had happened with Dan, wonderful though that had been.
“I know I love you, little one,” she said. “And I suppose deep down I love my dad, mad as he makes me sometimes. Aunt Marie, too, and my cousin and her sons. But no one else.”
There was no other family to love. Both her mother and father had been orphaned by the time they met. Though her mother had the one sister, Dad had been an only child. Like she’d been. “Like you’ll be,” she told the baby. Marriage and more children were just not on the agenda.
When Fay got home from work the next day, Yvonne had a message for her. “Your father called and asked that you give him a ring back when you can.”
“Thanks. Any other messages?”
Yvonne shook her head. “I checked with Clara to see how she is and she does have a really bad cold. She asked if I could help you out on Monday if she didn’t improve by then and it happens I can.”
Fay thanked Yvonne for her willingness to help. After the woman had left, she found herself thinking about her father’s message and that there had been no other calls. But Dan had been working today, too, and probably hadn’t had a chance.
She hesitated before phoning her father, but after all, she had agreed he could call her. She sighed and punched in his number.
He spent several minutes telling her how sorry he was for being so bullheaded, and that he’d been wrong to try to convince her not to carry the baby. “I keep trying not to interfere in your life, but I keep doing it,” he admitted. “I’m going to change that.”
Then he went on about how the baby had reminded him of Fay as an infant. “You did right and I was wrong,” he said.
She felt her anger seep away as she listened. But some of it came back in a hurry when he said, “That cop—Dan Sorenson. Now there’s a guy with some solid meat to him. I told him so. Said my daughter could do a lot worse than him.”
“You said what?” she cried, horrified.
“He’s a hundred times the man that jerk you were engaged to was.”
She groaned. “You can’t mean you hinted Dan should marry me.”
“No, I didn’t come right out and say it. But he knew what I meant, all right. He’s a canny one, that Dan.”
She bit back angry words with difficulty, but couldn’t help saying, “I thought you were going to try not to interfere in my life again.”
“Who’s interfering?” he asked. “I was just pointing out some home truths.”
She sighed. Her father would never learn. “Please don’t say anything like that to Dan again.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll call you again soon.”
Home truths? The truth was her father might never stop interfering in her life. Could she reconcile with him knowing that? Her dad had always said what he thought and always would. But what on earth must Dan think?
Dan didn’t call that evening, either, or Thursday or Friday. Friday evening her father phoned, thanked her again for getting back to him on Wednesday and asked if she could come over Saturday for lunch.
Oh, oh, here it comes, she thought. He was going to spring Nell on her.
“I’m not sure,” she said cautiously. “I’ll have to get back to you. And, remember if I do come, I’ll be bringing the baby.”
“Of course,” he said. “I want Nell to see my cute little granddaughter.”
Aha, it was out. “So she’ll be there.”
“Actually she’s making the lunch. Nell’s a great cook. She really would like to meet you.”
Fay took a deep breath. Face it, she had to meet Nell sometime. But so soon? Before she was even sure she’d forgiven her father? “What time would it be, in case I can make it?”
“Around noon.”
Well, it would give her somewhere to go tomorrow, Fay thought as she hung up. Now that she realized what her father had said to Dan, she no longer was surprised at his failure to call her, though it did hurt that he could make love to her so sweetly and then drop her. She sighed. To a man who’d vowed never to venture into marriage again, her father’s words must have sounded as though he’d be getting his shotgun out next.
That evening she decided to bite the bullet and meet Nell, since she really didn’t want to go through the rest of her life at odds with her father. Besides, Danny Marie needed a grandfather. Calling her father back, Fay told him they would be there for lunch tomorrow.
The next day, Fay arrived at her father’s house, her old childhood home, shortly after twelve. He was out the door almost before she had the ignition shut off.
“Let me carry my granddaughter in,” he said after greeting her. “You don’t need to bring that baby bed in, I brought your old crib down from the attic. Cleaned it up a bit and it’s as good as new.”
“I didn’t know you’d kept my crib all those years,” she told him as they walked toward the house.
“Forgot about it ’til Nell asked if I had anything to put the baby in. Fits real nice into the old sewing room.”
Nell was waiting in the entry. She had short, curly gray hair, a pleasant face and a welcoming smile. “I’m so happy to meet you at last, Fay,” she said. “I’m a hugger, so I hope you don’t mind.” She held out her arms.
Fay found she didn’t mind too much being hugged by Nell. Her father beamed at them both, obviously pleased the initial meeting was going well.
“So this is your little one,” Nell said, turning her attention to the baby. “Goodness, Hank, she’s got your eyes.” She looked at Fay. “Do you mind if I hold her?”
“Not at all.” Which was the truth. Her first impression of Nell was that her father’s choice was as open and honest as he was.
The baby smiled at Nell, pleasing everyone. After a few minutes spent admiring the baby, Nell handed her back to Hank. “You have a wonderful little daughter,” she told Fay. “Your father is very lucky to be gifted with a granddaughter like her. Now, why don’t you two sit down? I have a few last-minute things to do in the kitchen.”
“I’ll help.” Fay offered.
Nell shook her head. “Thanks, but that’s not necessary.”
Still holding Danny Marie, Hank was already in what Fay knew he called his “easy chair.” As she headed for the couch the doorbell rang.
“Get that, will you, honey?” Hank asked.
When Fay opened the door, Dan grinned down at her, sending her pulses pounding.
“Made it,” he said. “Wasn’t sure I could. Nice of your dad to invite me.”
Speechless, she stood aside so he could enter. Nell came in from the kitchen for the introduction, greeted Dan and vanished once more.
Hank held up the baby, saying, “Your turn to take her, Dan. I think her diaper needs changing.”
Fay, diaper bag in hand, led Dan to a small room off the hall where her mother had once kept her sewing machine. The old machine was still there, out of sight in its cabinet. The table where her mother once pinned patterns to material had been padded with a quilt so it could be used to change the baby’s diaper. Since her father would never have thought of it, Fay knew Nell must have. There was also a step-on garbage pail under the table. Nell again.
“I can change her,” she told Dan.
“You’re surprised to see me,” he said, laying the baby atop the table, with a hand on her tummy, holding her there.
“My father didn’t hand out an invitation list ahead of time.”
“I gathered that.” As he spoke he began to remove the dirty dia
per.
Fay handed him a baby wipe. She took the folded diaper he handed her and deposited it in the pail, then gave him a clean one. Though she’d promised herself she absolutely wouldn’t ask the burning question, she found it impossible to hold her tongue. “You didn’t call.”
“Got a new case that may be related to the one that sent me on administrative leave. If so, it’ll be a tough nut to crack. Kept me so busy I couldn’t get away. Anyway, I thought we both needed time.” He secured the new diaper and lifted the baby into his arms, saying, “That better, Marie?”
Time to what? Decide never to see each other again? Which might not be a bad idea. Except now it was too late, as far as she was concerned. What was between them needed to run its course to get him out of her system once and for all.
She couldn’t think of anything else to say except, “I see.” To her horror, she found herself adding, “I suspected my father had scared you off.”
“I don’t scare easy.”
An answer of sorts. And the only one she was going to get, apparently.
“Think she’ll go to sleep if I put her in the crib and jiggle it a little?” he asked.
“Maybe. She’s been fed.”
Dan laid the baby in the crib, covering her with a blanket that looked new. “Time to close those big blue eyes, Marie,” he crooned as he eased the crib back and forth gently on its rollers. He glanced at Fay. “Know any lullabies? I have a limited repertoire.”
Since Danny Marie probably wouldn’t go to sleep if they stood here talking over her head, Fay put the chance for a private conversation with Dan aside. She gazed down at her daughter and began to sing softly, “Bye low, my baby, bye low, my pretty baby girl,” She repeated the words three times, then hummed the tune until Danny Marie’s eyes drooped shut.
They eased from the room.
“One your mother sang to you?” Dan asked in a low tone as they approached the living room.
“My dad, actually. I don’t remember, but Mom said he used to sing to me and she taught me the words.”
Strange, Fay had forgotten about that until just now.
“You’re just in time,” Nell announced from the kitchen archway. “Lunch is served.”
Nell was a good cook, Fay realized as she sampled the food. It was too bad she simply didn’t feel like eating. No doubt due to Dan’s presence and his comment about them both needing time. She couldn’t wait to hear his explanation.
They’d fallen into bed together. Both of them had enjoyed the experience. Neither expected anything permanent to come of it. Was it what her father had said, despite Dan insisting he didn’t scare easy? He certainly couldn’t have liked the comment. But if that was the problem, then why had he accepted Dad’s invitation today?
After they’d all finished dessert and coffee, her father rose. “I have an announcement to make. First, though, I want to thank Nell for a delicious meal. Her blueberry pie rivals any I’ve tasted.”
He allowed Fay and Dan to add their compliments to the cook, then cleared his throat. “I’ve finally persuaded Nell to set a wedding date. We’ll be married on August 15. Nothing fancy, just a small reception following the church ceremony. You’ll both be getting your wedding invitations soon, but I wanted you to know ahead of time.” His gaze settled on Fay. “I hope you’ll be happy for us.”
She swallowed, stunned. Pulling herself together, she rose and managed to say, “Of course.”
Nell jumped up, hurried over and threw her arms around Fay. “Thank you, my dear. Thank you so much.” When she pulled away, Fay noticed tears running down her cheeks.
Nell hadn’t thought she would approve, she realized, feeling guilty for all the negative thoughts she’d had about her father’s companion before meeting her. Do I really approve? she asked herself. The happy smile on her father’s face touched her heart.
This was the man who’d sung lullabies to his pretty baby girl, who’d pushed her on park swings, who’d taught her how to catch a ball and row a boat. Who’d read the comics to her before she’d learned to read them herself and who taught her how to deal with bullies.
Interfering as he was, he loved her, had always loved her. Swallowing to rid herself of the lump in her throat, she offered her father a genuine smile. How could she not be happy for him?
Fay listened bemusedly to Dan congratulate her father and then watched him give Nell a hug. “I had no idea I was invited to an engagement lunch,” he told her. “Best one I ever ate.”
Nell beamed at him.
Hearing a tentative wail from the other room, Fay breathed a sigh of relief. She needed an excuse to get away for a bit and get over her shock, and also the feeling that she might burst into tears. Never once had she suspected her father meant to marry his companion. Foolish of her. Her father was the marrying sort. Unlike Dan. Or her.
“I must see to the baby,” she said and left the kitchen.
She was sitting in the sewing room rocking chair nursing Danny Marie, when Dan edged around the door she’d left ajar. “I can’t stay,” he told her. “I’ll finish up what I have to do and then stop by your place later.”
Just like that. Assuming she wanted him to. Not even asking if it was okay. Men were like that, why should she expect him to be any different? Even if he was.
“We do need to talk,” she muttered finally.
He grinned. “That, too. See you as soon as I can make it.” And then he was gone.
“You may as well learn early, little one,” she murmured to the baby, “that men are not to be trusted.”
Yes, and also that, difficult as it sometimes was to get along with them, it was impossible to get along without them.
It wasn’t until she was ready to bring Danny Marie out to socialize with her father and Nell that the import of what Dan had told her about the new case hit home. If this was connected to the one where he’d got shot, didn’t that mean it’d be dangerous? She controlled her instinctive shiver of fear for him. Dan was a detective, a cop. For all she knew, he was always in danger.
For some reason that had never really come home to her despite all he’d told her about his ex-wife’s fears. Yet he liked what he did, despite the danger. If he didn’t worry about it, she’d try not to. Because worry was a useless emotion.
“Dan’ll be safe,” she whispered to the baby. “I know he will.”
At that moment she realized how much he meant to her and that scared her more than any fear he might be in danger.
Chapter Twelve
Back at her apartment, Fay changed Danny Marie, while talking to her as if she were her best friend. “The trouble is I want to see Dan. And, blast the man, he’s right—not just to talk. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind. He’s lodged there now, even though what I want to think about is how to come to terms with my father marrying Nell.”
Before Fay had left her dad’s house, he’d confided that he was selling it and Nell was also selling the house she’d lived in with her husband. “There’s no use burdening a new marriage with old memories, even though they may be good ones.” Hank had said. “We’re going to start out with a place that’s ours, Nell’s and mine.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Fay had said, and meant it. It would help her, too. This way, she wouldn’t have to visit and see Nell in the house that had been her mother’s.
It hadn’t occurred to her until this minute that Nell’s daughter—what was her name?—might also feel better if Hank Merriweather wasn’t living in her father’s house. Aware she’d be meeting the girl at the wedding, Fay searched for the name, recalling it was a combination of the father and mother’s names. Oh yes, Jonell, called Jo.
Good grief, the marriage would mean she was acquiring a stepsister!
“That means you’ll have an Aunt Jo,” she told the baby.
After Danny Marie settled down to sleep, Fay threw in a load of wash and emptied the garbage and trash cans into the large container out in back. No way did she intend to sit around twiddli
ng her thumbs to wait for any man’s arrival, and that included Dan. When she finally ran out of chores, she opened her briefcase, sat down and studied the printouts from work. She might be good, but only fools didn’t check for errors.
To her extreme annoyance, she found she couldn’t concentrate on the papers in front of her. Maybe if she used the computer she could. She turned it on and remembered there’d been something she wanted to look up on the Internet. After she’d stuck the info she needed into a temporary file folder, she wondered if any of the Sorensons had ever tried to find their mother via the Net. Megan had given her an e-mail address. Should she e-mail Megan to let her know if she ever wanted to search for her mother, the Internet would be the place to begin?
Fay shook her head. She’d already learned not to mention his mother to Dan. It really was none of her business and might only upset Megan.
Pushing everything else firmly from her mind, Fay forced herself to concentrate on checking through her work project, which was going well. Why, then, did she wish she was nearer to finishing it? She’d known when she took it on that the job would take over a month, maybe two.
The baby woke. Fay fed her again, bathed her, played with her and settled Danny Marie in her crib. Not feeling especially hungry after the big lunch, Fay made popcorn and ate it with chocolate milk, one of her favorite treats. As she cleaned the kitchen, she tried to decide what do when Dan showed up. Once he kissed her could she hang on to any plan other than to let nature take its course? Probably not, but she could at least straighten him out about how she felt concerning her father’s remark. And pry out of him why he’d thought they needed time to sort things out after last Tuesday.
The door chime startled her. From the living room window, she saw Dan’s car parked under the street-light. Still, at the door she checked to see that the chain was on, then asked, “Who is it?”
“Dan.”
She slid the door open the few inches the chain allowed. Dan, without a doubt. Closing the door, she slipped off the chain and opened it again. “Does my performance meet with your approval, Sergeant Sorenson?” she asked as he stepped inside.