by Suzie Carr
“August twenty-fourth.”
“So what did he do to piss you off?”
“He just doesn’t understand me most of the time.”
“He doesn’t have the wiring to.”
“Don’t you think that’s just an excuse?”
“Emma, it’s a fact. A chemical and biological fact.”
“I need a night away from his antics. I can’t wait for our dinner on Friday.”
“I’ll be ready to go by seven. Have we decided whether we’ll be dining with hammers or forks?”
“Let’s go for the forks this time around,” I wrote. “By your next visit, we’ll chug beer and eat like savages. And maybe if you’re ever here again, I can surprise you even more with other Maryland traditions.”
“Did I tell you I like surprises?”
“Did I tell you I am full of them?”
“I suspect you are,” she wrote.
And she couldn’t have pinpointed her suspicion any more accurately. I was full of surprises, even to myself; the biggest one being this growing affinity towards her.
Chapter 6
Everyone had always told me how shades of lilac brought out the sparkle in my eyes, so it wasn’t an option to pass by the window of Lord & Taylor and not purchase the blouse that draped the mannequin—a lilac blouse with willowy three-quarter length sleeves and a revealing neck line.
And it also wasn’t an option to wear anything else on Friday night. I wanted to look and feel my best with Haley.
Ever since my first meeting with her, I walked around feeling sexier than ever, sensual to my own touch, and alive with an energy force that could grow a field of wild, exotic plant life.
People paid more attention to me; they threw that second glance my way as I walked by them in the grocery store or through the mall. This new confidence, and its attention, intoxicated me.
****
When Friday finally approached, I strode into Colin’s office and told him that I was planning on meeting Goldie at the mall to shop and then heading home to bed.
“A night with Goldie. What could be more fun?” He painted a sarcastic grin on his face.
“Why would you say that?”
“I’m kidding. I think you need this time with your friend.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Work a bit longer and then maybe I’ll go grab a drink with some of these guys.”
I wondered if by these guys, he also meant Meredith. “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded not looking up from his laptop.
“Are you attracted to Meredith?” I hoped in some selfish way that his answer would free me from any guilt for my upcoming night with Haley.
He stopped typing and met my eye. “Do you ever wonder what I find most appealing about you?”
His gaze weighed heavy on me as I searched his face for help in answering his question. “Tell me.”
“Your confidence. Please don’t lose that about yourself.”
He was a smart man who handled my tactless question with stride. Of course he was attracted to Meredith. Who wouldn’t be? The girl was hot. “I can’t get that image of her rubbing your arm out of my mind.”
“If I wanted to be with her or anyone else, I would be.”
And he would be. What Colin wanted, Colin openly pursued and took hold of it. He was honest in his ventures, which was more than I could say for my deceitful self at that moment.
“Good.” I nodded my head. “I appreciate your honesty.”
“It’s what makes our relationship work.”
He lusted for Meredith. I witnessed this for myself. But some things in a relationship were better left unsaid, not admitted. “I’m going to let you get back to work. I’ll call you later tonight.”
“So, which mall are you meeting her at?”
“Columbia Mall.” Why was I lying to him about this? So what if I was meeting Haley? It’s not like having dinner with a woman would send up a red flag for him. Though, in the back of my mind, that flag was waving with a fury strong enough to set a windmill into motion.
“Good. You need to get out. You’re always cooped up in that apartment of yours doodling away. Get out and have some fun every once in a while.”
Just because I enjoyed alone time didn’t give him the right to think less of me. Usually when he said something like that, it angered me. Not this time. This time I took that comment and ran with it; in the opposite direction of the Columbia Mall and straight to Haley’s towering hotel near Baltimore Washington International Airport.
****
There she stood, waiting for me, curbside.
Her radiant smile flooded me with ripples.
She climbed in and I nearly fainted from the rush. Her freshly shampooed hair filled my car with the fragrance of sweet flowers. Her full lips shined with gloss and her satin skin glowed. The deep green spokes of her eyes latched onto mine.
She placed her hand on my arm. “It’s nice to see you.”
We shared a gaze, one long enough to jolt me. “Nice to see you, too.”
“So, where are you taking me?” she asked.
“I thought you said you liked surprises.”
“I do.” Her voice reached out to me in one long, sultry whisper.
I steadied my fluttering hands against the steering wheel. “Then sit tight.”
“A woman in charge. I like it.”
Me? A woman in charge? That was a first.
I reached above my head to grab a CD from my sun visor holder. “Well, as the woman in charge of this evening, I thought we’d enjoy some pre-dinner music.” I glanced at the CD. “I know you’re a John Denver freak, but would you settle on Train?”
“‘Drops of Jupiter.’ One of my all-time favorites.”
“You’re not going to start singing already are you?”
“You seriously have to get to know me better.”
Having no argument against that, I simply nodded. And with that, the two of us followed the lead singer’s vocals, matching every inflection and pitch with precision as we coasted along with the masses on the road.
“Is it always this hectic on the interstates here or is it just because it’s a Friday night?” she asked.
“Are you kidding? We’re talking major tie-ups any day of the week.”
Red brake lights glared in the distance.
“I actually saw on television right before leaving my room that there is a major delay on one of the roadways. I hope this wasn’t it.”
The lights coiled like a snake, disappearing into the bend in the road. “I think it may have been. This stretch of highway is probably the only area where traffic flows smoothly, even in rush hour. So, if it’s backed up, there is a problem.”
“I’m in no rush, are you?”
“We might miss our dinner reservation if it doesn’t let up soon.”
“So what?” Haley asked.
Yeah, so what?
“We can switch to plan B if so,” she said.
“I don’t have a plan B.”
“You don’t operate by the five P’s?”
“Five P’s?”
“Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Marketing 101.”
“You are a saleswoman,” I said.
She rubbed her nails against her shirt, as if cooling them. “And if I must say so myself, a damn good one at that.”
She gifted me with a sexy sidelong glance, sending more ripples loose, catching me so off-guard, I had to fight to maintain control of the car, even at five miles an hour. “I can see that.”
“I have lots of funny stories I can tell you to support my claim.”
“Seems we have all the time in the world at the rate we’re moving,” I said.
So, for the next hour and a half, as we moved a mere one-hundred feet, she entertained me with some of the funniest clips from a day in the life of being her. When the traffic unsnarled, I had to raise my hand up in surrender to her theatrical satire. “Where do you come up
with these random thoughts?”
“You mean to tell me, when you’re sitting in a meeting, you’ve never heard the stomach conversation?”
“I’ve just never thought of a stomach growl as a conversation before. But now, thanks to you, if I do hear even the tiniest rumble, I’m going to have to excuse myself from the room so the person doesn’t think I’m being rude laughing at him.”
She craned her neck closer. “I can still hear your tummy.”
I placed my hand across it. “What’s it saying this time?”
“It’s asking what plan B is because it thinks we missed plan A.”
“It’s eight-forty-five on a Friday night. Do you prefer metal or plastic forks?”
“If metal forks mean another hour to eat, then I’m opting for the plastic fork choice,” she said.
“Then, I know just the place.”
I drove us straight to Baltimore’s Inner Harbor and pulled into a parking garage. The above-average temperatures for March brought out the crowds. A musician, playing the fiddle on the open quad of the harbor, entertained a group of onlookers with his rendition of Charlie Daniels Band’s song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” He tapped his foot wildly and the crowd clapped their hands in unison.
In the distance across the harbor, the reflection of the miniature lights on the Rusty Scupper restaurant danced on the calm water. And within sight, the water taxi drifted towards the landing dock and would empty a few dozen more people into the buzzing shopping area.
As we entered the shopping complex, I led her up the stairs to the food-court.
“What would you recommend?”
“A sandwich wrap. Of course followed up by a big slice of homemade fudge from a place we will pass downstairs.”
She possessed a refreshing, open-minded attitude.
“I love being a tourist,” she said. “Show me the way, baby.” She latched onto my arm.
I dangled my arm in hers, completely relaxed, natural, leading us forward. A woman in charge.
“What’ll it be, girls?” The man behind the counter asked.
His striped over-sized baseball hat and matching shirt made me smile. How fun it would be to wear something happy to work instead of boring business attire. He seemed to enjoy himself, wearing a genuine smile that matched his upbeat outfit. “Two turkey wraps with ranch dressing, tomatoes, and green and red peppers.”
After ordering our wraps, I led Haley downstairs and down the hall to where they made the fudge. “You can’t come to Inner Harbor and not witness the most fun display of baking you’ll ever see.” In the distance, voices chimed. “Do you hear them?”
“Are those the fudge bakers singing?”
“You’ll see.” I tangled my arm in hers again and pulled her forward, wrestling through the crowd. As we approached, I turned to her and saw that same wide-eyed look she had in the café the first time we met. I left my arm planted around hers as we watched the bakers. She didn’t seem to mind.
The fudge artists wore white baker’s hats and colorful suspenders over white shirts. One was handing out samples on a toothpick; another was pouring gooey fudgy liquid onto a giant stainless steel countertop while another rolled the fudgy mixture into shape. The one poking his head in and out of the giant oven sang the loudest. They harmonized, appearing to make up the song lyrics as they went along. They sang about the process of baking and had us cheering. Their voices filled the open area, attracting people as they moseyed on by. Once through singing a song, they insisted we all try a sample and leave with a big, delicious chunk of Baltimore’s finest fudge. We were first in line to get ours.
“Where should we eat our wraps?” she asked.
“I think I should take this snow-laden Denver gal on a walk so she can bottle up as much balmy Maryland air as possible. We can find a bench along the harbor and sit while we eat. What do you say?”
“We just had fresh powder fall this morning. So, I was hoping you’d suggest we enjoy this sweltering sixty degree weather.”
We wandered down to the end of the harbor walkway and then settled on a bench facing docked boats. Our legs hugged against each other. Neither one of us moved. Tingles pulsated through me.
We sat in silence watching the water taxi make yet another run across the harbor.
“What are you thinking of?” she asked.
How could I tell her that what I was really thinking was how much I loved sitting so close to her? “How pretty the skyline looks.”
“What else?”
I inched closer. “How easy it was to move onto Plan B.”
She turned inward to me, draping her arm over the top of the bench. Her hand rested close to me; close enough that if she wanted, she could’ve easily twirled her fingers in my hair. “What was Plan A, anyway?”
“Plan A— ” I paused. Plan A was something Colin would have conjured up to impress his guest. This easy-going woman didn’t need such an elaborate show. Her lighthearted attitude is what appealed to me. “Plan A was to take you to a stuffy restaurant where turkey wraps and homemade fudge were not on the menu.”
“Thank God for curves in the road,” she said.
“Yeah, I’d consider this curve a good one.”
“I’ve never come across a curve I didn’t like.”
Under the soothing caress of her admission, I softened. “I suspect you haven’t.”
She smiled and the slight seductive look in her eye sent my head spinning.
“Let’s talk about you,” she said.
I braved even closer, crossing my leg over my knee and inching it precariously near hers. “What do you want to know?”
She rolled her gaze down to it and then ever-so slowly swept her eyes back up to me. “So, you’re getting married? How’s the planning going?”
I didn’t want to talk about the wedding. I didn’t want Colin popping up into my night. Most of all, I didn’t want Haley to focus on the fact that I was engaged. “It’s still months away. I haven’t been doing too much with it at this point.”
“You’re going to be a bride. I would think you’d be bubbling over with explaining the details.”
Why did she want me bubbling for Colin? “I think the problem with so many new marriages is that the bride and groom focus so much on planning that when it’s over, the excitement that kept them soaring through their engagement fizzles rather quickly after it’s done, like the smell of a new car does.”
“Wow. I never thought of it that way. Kind of takes the romance out of it.”
“I think people put too much emphasis on the big day.”
“I’m sorry if I’m getting too personal, but I have to ask, are you happy to be getting married?”
The answer was apparent and easy to divulge to her soft, waiting eyes. “I’m not sure.”
We stared at each other in silence. She circled her gaze around my face. I followed her roaming eyes, yearning for her to land her soft lips on mine.
“That’s normal I think,” she said.
“I’m sure it is.”
“What’s causing your confusion?”
Well, for starters, the fact that I wanted to reach over and kiss her.
Secondly, the fact that I was more attracted to her in that moment than to anyone else I could ever remember. “A few things that I’m sure with time, I’ll figure out.”
“Can I ask you an even more personal question?” she asked.
I nodded not letting go of her gaze.
She traced her fingers along the curl hanging on my face. “Are you as attracted to me as I am to you?”
Moisture pooled between my legs, sending quivers where I’d never felt them quite so strong before. Her outspoken, bold persona inspired me and frightened me at the same time. I could only manage to drop my eyelids and breathe.
She wrapped her finger around the curl. “You don’t have to answer.”
I opened my eyes and followed her mouth as she spoke, not uttering a word.
“I just want you to th
ink about it,” she said.
She uncoiled my blonde spiral, easing it onto my cheek. She leaned in closer and hugged me. Her sweet breath washed over my face as she caressed my cheek with her soft lips. And as she drew away, she whispered, “I think you are.”
I melted.
****
On the ride home from her hotel, I retraced the feel of her kiss on my cheek, the soft, feathery tickle of her lips against my skin. A cascade of sweet emotions tickled me throughout. I craved more. I wanted to feel her lips on mine. I wanted to feel the softness of her tongue play gently with mine. I wanted to get drunk on her airy breath.
I was totally attracted to her.
What could I do with these feelings? It’s not like I had the freedom to explore them in any real sense.
Poor Colin. I lied to him. I betrayed his trust. And worst, if Haley had kissed me, I wouldn’t have resisted. I couldn’t have resisted. I would have allowed myself to taste the sweetness of her mouth, and I couldn’t deny the craving that lurked to taste so much more of her. That truth scared me.
I couldn’t be a cheat. Not me. I prided myself on being true.
Cheating first started with lies. I lied to him. What next?
I had this great guy who simplified my life. Yet I complicated it by nurturing thoughts of this beautiful woman. Ever since meeting her, I distanced myself from Colin. I imagined five years from then. Would I live to regret cheating if I indulged in my curiosity? The consequence would be losing Colin. Then what? Would I be with Haley? Could she respect me knowing I cheated on my fiancé? I would never trust me. How could she?
My marriage to Colin was real. She was a fantasy. If I wasn’t careful, I could lose him; ruin what I did have.
I had to salvage our relationship. I had to refocus on him. I had to change back into the good fiancé. I had to become honest again.
I would love him like he deserved to be loved. If only I could figure out how.
****
Surprisingly, I lasted the whole weekend without showing my guilt. Colin and I spent the entire time together planting seeds, painting my patio, cleaning the interiors of our cars, and cuddling up at night, with Snickers and Spitfire, to watch movies. We had a wonderful weekend together, and when I climbed into my bed Sunday night, I felt free and clear of the intense emotions I experienced Friday night.