by Suzie Carr
“Of course we will.” I didn’t care if we hung out in a cave all day, as long as I was with her.
****
Nestled in the center of a bustling city street, her two-bedroom apartment rose above the clutter of surrounding buildings, opening a picturesque view of the metropolis from her kitchen window. I stood in the appetizing nook, accentuated with savory green, the color of romaine lettuce, and admired the detail of the accessories.
“Where did you ever find such unique curtains?” I held the fern-colored fabric in my hand.
“I made them.”
“I’m impressed. I can’t even sew a button.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t even color in the lines.”
We both laughed.
“Follow me,” she said, taking me by the hand and veering us into the living room.
The picture drew my eyes directly to it as I walked through the archway. I took a long, deep breath. “Oh my God.” I cupped my hands over my mouth. “You didn’t.”
“Do you like it?”
I stared at the picture that I drew of her special place. The forest green mat and the grandiose etchings on the cherry oak frame captured the depth in the picture and created an impression of richness. “That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done.”
“It looks perfect above the mantle, doesn’t it?”
I was speechless. No one had ever honored my work with such prestige.
“Come here,” she pulled me over to the couch. We sat close and stared at the picture.
What an honor to not only see my picture hanging on her wall, a wall she’d be staring at every day, but also an honor to be sitting in her living room, in her personal space.
I wanted to learn everything about her.
From my vantage point, I saw picture collages filled with some smiling and some goofy faces. She collected angels. She had poems framed and strategically placed around candle holders, around funky table lamps, and around shelves alive with greenery. I had so much to discover in her and only one day left in Denver to do so.
She leaned in close to me. “So,” she whispered, our faces now only inches apart.
My heart galloped ahead. “So,” I whispered back, my voice shaky. I didn’t take my eyes from her moist, welcoming lips. Goldie’s voice echoed in my mind telling me one cookie at a time and no more. But I knew, if I had one, I wouldn’t be able to stop. My life would then turn into one big crumbled up heap of cookies.
“What do you think of my place?” She asked edging even closer to me.
“I’m glad you brought me to see it,” I managed to say this as she circled my face.
“Me too.”
We stared into each other’s eyes and I studied her – on how perfectly female she was, how I’d love to glide my fingers on her soft face, snuggle up against those shiny waves falling gracefully on her shoulders, and melt into her curvy lips.
She was the first to peel her eyes away. “Maybe we should go.”
“Yeah, maybe we should.” I looked back at the picture, calming the surge with a deep inhalation, then a slow exhale.
She rose, fumbling to set a fallen pillow back into place, “I’ll just make sure I have our lunch fully packed.”
“Mind if I use your bathroom?” My voice was still shaking and my body still trembling.
“First door there on the right.”
I almost made it past the couch. But she tugged at the back of my shirt.
I turned to face her radiant smile.
“I don’t want anything to be awkward between us today,” she said.
“Are you feeling awkward?” I asked her.
“No.”
“Neither am I,” I said, then shot her a coy smile before heading off to the bathroom.
Once I closed the door, I slid my back against the oak, all the way down to the floor, allowing myself to experience the sheer intensity of the moment. I sat with my hands tucked in my hair until my breathing stabilized and my floating spirit grounded.
****
I waltzed out of her apartment soaring to the beat of an invigorating rhythm orchestrated solely by the pure sexual chemistry flowing between us. I quivered as the ticklish vibes pumped through me.
Not until we arrived at the walking trail did I finally have my emotions somewhat under control. I wasn’t exactly dressed for a hike with wearing my ivory silky pants and sling back sandals, but she promised to trade in her original plan of rocky, uphill terrain, for a more subdued, paved trail suitable for a lazy morning stroll.
“From a person not familiar with this place, what is one of the first elements about it that you like the most? Besides me, of course.”
“Well, that was a given.” I lowered my eyelashes slow, and dramatically. “But besides you, what I like about Colorado is how safe I feel. Well, except for the mountain lions I’ve heard about. Could they really leap from behind a bush and eat me?”
“I don’t think a mountain lion would eat you,” she said all serious.
I laughed. “No? Why not?”
“They like to munch on the locals. He’d take one look at you and know that you’re not from around these woods. You’re too pretty to be a woman of the mountains.”
“You’re so goofy.” I shook my head laughing.
“A life without goofiness is like an ocean without fish, unnatural and unspeakably harmful.”
“Right,” I said, continuing to laugh.
She punched my upper arm, “Stop laughing at me.”
I reciprocated. And we continued this silly banter and arm nudging for the entire walk, which lasted the remainder of the morning.
And as it neared midday, we returned to her car to retrieve the picnic basket and find a secluded area to eat. She knew all the tourist-free areas and led me over to the perfect hidden spot where no one would bother us.
“I made this quilt myself,” she said, swooshing it up in the air and letting it fall gracefully to the ground.
“Where did you learn to be such a whiz with sewing?”
“My grandma taught me. Look around you. What else is a girl to do in these woods?”
“I don’t know, clean horse stables?”
“Which is why I took up sewing.” In one poised move, she lowered herself to the quilt and tucked her feet neatly under herself. “Don’t get me wrong. I love horses and ride them often, but who wouldn’t avoid the unpleasant task of shoveling hay to sew and chat with a woman eager to reveal decades of stories?”
I lowered myself down to the quilt. “Is she still alive?”
“My grandma, no. She passed away just under a year ago. She was in her nineties and died a very happy woman,” she said, taking the snacks from out of the basket.
“She must have been thrilled that you took up a career in clothing design sales.”
“She celebrated my landing this incredible job right along with me. She danced in circles when I first told her, leaping in the air like she had a trampoline under her feet. I want to live my life as happily as she did.”
“Yeah, me too.” I placed slices of cheese and a few plump strawberries on each of our plates. “We just have to see to it that we do.”
I held the wine glasses as she poured the Merlot wine. Then, setting the bottle back into the basket, she reached and took her glass from me. “Here’s to seeing to it, then.”
We clanked our glasses together and took a sip, our eyes fixed on one another.
“I was going to dip these strawberries in chocolate for you because I know how much you crave it, but then I was afraid they’d get all gooey on us.” She bit into one.
“They’re perfect.” I sunk my teeth into the juicy fruit and the sweetness trickled down my throat.
“I want to ask you something.”
“What? Why I talk with a funny east coast accent?” I hesitated then asked, “Or what I’m doing here in the middle of the national forest sipping wine with you?”
“Yeah, something like that.” She spilled her words out lazily.
&
nbsp; “Something like what? Which one?”
She held my gaze as she lifted a strawberry from the basket and placed it to my mouth. “Why you talk so funny of course.”
I bit into it and juice dribbled down my chin. And she was quick to dab it with a napkin, all without taking her eyes from me.
“That’s not what you wanted to know.” I squinted at her. My tummy fluttered.
“Don’t give me that little look.”
I licked the remaining juice off my lips. “Fine, if you’re not going to ask me your real question then, you’ll never get the answer to it.”
I wanted her to ask me something personal and deeply intimate. I didn’t want to talk about funny accents, horse stables or Denver scenery. I wanted to explore her thoughts and understand her emotions.
Too preoccupied to eat, I set my plate to the side and laid down on the quilt, staring straight up through the tree ceiling to catch a glimpse of the bright blue sky.
She sat and watched me.
“I want to know what you’re feeling when you’re with me,” she said.
The question sent shock waves through me and loomed in the air like a balloon slowly inflating with helium, building momentum and force, waiting to be addressed and dealt with. I turned my head to her. “I don’t think it’s an emotion that I can put into words.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I closed my eyes, digesting the weight of the words that gave rise to a tantalizing whirlwind within me. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“So do you feel it as intensely as I do?”
I nodded, not taking my eyes from hers. I craved to touch her skin. I blindly searched out her hand and cradled my fingers around it. She lowered herself onto her side, letting out a relaxed sigh and laying her head down close to mine. Our hands remained entwined as she turned onto her back and looked to the sky. I continued to stare at her, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath, drinking in the beauty of her long, sleek neck and perfectly manicured face.
She spoke to my heart without saying a word.
Slowly, seductively, I stroked her hand, her fingers. She joined in. Her electrifying fondling sent my head spinning. And just when I didn’t think my body could tremble any harder, she proved me wrong when she propped herself up, cushioning my head in her arm, and bringing her lips within reach of mine. “What’s going on in that heart of yours, right now?” she asked, resting her fingertip in the center of my chest.
In one extreme sensuous urge, I rested my finger up against her lips, causing her to moan, which further fed my arousal. The soft feel of her feminine curvy lips against my finger, sent delightful sensations running through me in quick sequences, each pulsation more exhilarating than the one before it. The warmth pooling between my legs grew even hotter.
I lowered my gaze to focus on her full, fleshy lips. Yearning to feel them against mine, I slid my head closer. Her lips were now just a mere inch away from mine.
She brushed her lips against mine, then spoke in a low, soft murmur, “I really want to kiss you.” She stroked my cheek, sending a wave of warmth through me. “I’ll stop now if you want.”
“Don’t stop now,” I whispered into her mouth.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I, unable to control the impulse any longer, stopped her with my lips.
Her mouth was warm, moist, and delicious. She tasted of sweet strawberries. I sought out her velvety tongue with my own and when we joined we circled each other, dancing, feeding off each other’s stimulating sensations. Every stroke of her soft tongue against my own sent delicate quivers of pure delight down my spine.
We explored each other’s mouths eagerly. Our breathing harmonized. One breath of hers turned into one breath of mine, intensifying the flow of freedom, beauty, and wholeness between the two of us. With each turn, each passing, each twirl going on inside, I grew hotter and eager to discover more of her.
Following her pace, slowing to feathery caresses, our tongues released and our kissing turned into gentle grazes. Dizzy and breathless, each fluttering sweep of her lips against mine sent me floating. Connected to her spirit, every ounce of my being tingled at a level I’d never before encountered.
As our lips parted, I kept my eyes closed, wanting to suspend the moment—the moment I’d dreamt of and waited my whole life to experience.
She brought my quivering body into her arms, and I melted into her embrace.
Chapter 13
Resting my head along her chest, I stared up into the cloudless blue sky and listened to her gentle breathing. She ran her fingers through my hair, stopping to twirl a loose curl around her fingers. Cuddled up against her was the only place I wanted to be at that moment.
She kissed the curls on top of my head. “That was the most incredible kiss.”
“I could lay here like this forever.”
She pulled me in tighter. I continued to melt, resting in her arms, basking in an intimate glow, until we both drifted off to sleep.
****
My cell rang. I woke in a panic and shot up to my feet.
“Shit! It’s 6:15.” I straightened my shirt and turned my back to Haley as I answered. “Hello?”
“Where are you?” Colin asked.
From his flat tone, I suspected he knew I wasn’t holding hands in unison with a bunch of self-help seekers in the hotel conference room. “I’m having coffee. Where are you?”
“I’m waiting for you at the hotel bar.”
“You sound angry,” I said.
“I’m just worried.”
“Don’t worry. I’m fine, hon.”
“I’ve been sitting here for the last forty-five minutes, listening to a bunch of babbling idiots go on about how much they enjoyed the seminar and wondering where the hell my fiancé is. Who are you having coffee with?”
“I’m having coffee with a woman from the seminar. I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”
“How far away are you?”
“How far away am I?” I repeated, looking to Haley for guidance. She made her fingers into a three and a zero. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
Driving through the winding steep declines of the Rockies, my hand clutching the Oh Shit Handles of her car as it hugged the Colorado River’s edge, I realized how unprepared I was to delve into the emotions of this new world. One moment I was flying like a butterfly with new wings, fluttering around like I owned the sky, the next I was back to hugging the ground like a caterpillar.
I wanted to still be in her arms, lying on her hand-made quilt, soaking in her peaceful beauty.
My life would never be the same now after that kiss.
“I don’t want you to go back,” she said.
I stroked her face. “I don’t want to go back either.”
“Then don’t.”
Life was not so black and white for me. Colin didn’t deserve to be hurt by my selfish actions. “I have to. He’s waiting for me.”
“Stay in Denver with me.”
“I wish things were different so that I could.”
“Imagine, we could come back to this place over and over again.”
I would love to experience that afternoon again and again, but I had that one major obstacle blocking my path, my promise to Colin to be faithful. I didn’t want to think of the man I’d marry as an obstacle. But after that kiss, he was now.
He was strong and confident. I didn’t want to picture him any other way.
“Haley—” I lingered on her name, not sure how to explain that I couldn’t ever be the person she deserved.
“You’re reluctant.” Panic lined her words.
“I can’t stay here. You know that.” I tried to sound logical.
“Why can’t you?”
“I’m getting married. The wedding is planned, the house is bought, the honeymoon is booked, everything is set. I can’t just walk away and move to Denver.”
“Sure you can. It’s your life isn’t it?” Her voice rose beyond cas
ual civility.
“Why are you being this way?”
She looked straight ahead, hugging the turns in the road. “Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve ever experienced what we did today with Colin?” Anger now spilled from her eyes.
“No, of course not. What we experienced today was unique, incredible, and beautiful.”
She turned her attention back to the road. “And yet you’re going to marry him?”
I didn’t expect to have to change my entire future on the car ride back to the hotel, which I could now see rising up in the distance. We drove past a convenience store where Colin and I had bought snacks at the night before. “I can’t just call off the wedding.”
“No.” She smirked. “Of course you can’t.”
“I just need some time. So much is rushing at me, so fast. I want a chance to enjoy them first.”
“Before you banish them?”
She must’ve seen the look of horror on my face because she was quick to continue. “Because that’s what you’re planning isn’t it? Revel in the good times while you can and then pretend they never happened when the timing deems it necessary.”
This bitter side jumped out of thin air without warning, like a tornado, carrying with it shards of anger, resentment, and guilt.
“Am I right, Emma?”
She called me Emma. I was no longer baby. And she was right. I would have to banish my feelings for her.
She rounded the corner and entered the lobby entrance driveway. Colin stood in front of the lobby door talking with an older gentleman. He had his sports jacket swung over his shoulder in vogue fashion as he leaned in towards the man, talking with his hands as always. He peeked up at Haley’s car through his sporty sunglasses.
“You have to do what’s right for you, Emma,” she said, coming to a stop.
“I don’t want to leave it this way.”
She stared down at her perfectly manicured fingernails. “Me neither.” Her voice had softened.
“I have to go. That’s him.” I motioned to Colin who was now shaking the man’s hand.
She glanced up through the window at him. “Just as I pictured him to look.”