‘I think you might feel better if you did.’ He was very practical. ‘You did nothing wrong, but you know what rumours are like and it might be better to just tell Lisa up front what happened,’ Jed said. ‘And then you can stop worrying about it. If anyone does bring it up, Lisa will just blow them off.
‘And...’ he gave her a smile ‘...she might be a bit more understanding when patients land in the department with their life savings stuffed in a carrier bag.’
‘I think I might,’ Jasmine said. ‘Thanks.’ It was actually nice to have told someone and telling Lisa was a good idea.
‘I’d better go,’ Jed said. ‘It’s one thing having a friend over, but different me still being here in the morning. What are you on tomorrow?’
‘I’m on a late,’ Jasmine said. ‘Ruby’s picking Simon up from crèche.’
‘How’s that working out?’
‘Good,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘She’s really sensible and he seems to adore her. Simon’s usually in bed by about seven so she gets her homework done.
‘Stay if you like,’ Jasmine said, ‘I mean...’
‘I know what you mean.’ And he looked over at Jasmine and for the first time things were starting to get serious, and he didn’t feel hemmed in. In fact, he wanted more of this and was sure that Jasmine was someone he could open up to about his past. She just didn’t need it tonight. ‘Are you sure?’ Jed checked. ‘He might wake up again.’
‘He might.’ Jasmine looked up at him. ‘Look...’ She didn’t really know how to say it without sounding needy, but she had Simon to think of so she had to be brave. ‘I want to see more of you, Jed.’ His eyes never left her face. ‘I’m the same as you. I don’t want this to carry over to work, which means that if we are going to see more of each other... I’m not asking for for ever, but if you’re thinking this isn’t working out then say so now.’
‘I think it is working out.’
‘And I’d like to see you a bit more than a couple of hours once a week.’
‘Me, too.’
‘Stay, then,’ she said.
It was all a bit different having Simon in the house with them.
Like at midnight when they were kissing on the sofa, instead of things leading to wherever they might lead, she had to check on Simon, who was whimpering with his teeth. By the time she’d given him some medicine and rubbed some gel on his gums, Jed was sitting up in her bed, reading his horoscope in one of her trashy magazines.
Except he put it down as she started undressing.
‘Don’t,’ Jasmine said, because he had an unfair advantage, well, two actually. He was already in bed and also with a body like his there was no need to be embarrassed about stripping off in front of another person.
‘Why are you shy now?’
‘I don’t know.’ She actually wasn’t shy, she felt guilty for what she had said. ‘Thanks,’ she said as she slipped into bed. ‘For hearing me out and what I said about wishing it had never happened.’
‘I’d be the same,’ Jed said, shuddering at the thought of how much worse things might have been for him—and he closed his eyes for a moment, imagining the last couple of years with a baby added to the mix. And he turned and he almost told her, but he could see her eyes were still swollen from crying and it simply wouldn’t be fair to her.
‘Imagine if he hadn’t stolen the money,’ Jed said. ‘You could have spent your life married to a guy who was crap in bed.’
He saw the start of a smile.
‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Say it.’
‘No.’ Jasmine kicked him. ‘Anyway, you don’t know that he was.’
‘Please.’ Jed rolled his eyes.
‘So much for not getting involved with anyone from work.’ He looked down at her before he kissed her. ‘I think we should keep it separate, though,’ Jed said. ‘I really mean that.’
She was incredibly glad to hear it. ‘I’m the same.’
‘Things are a bit sensitive at the moment,’ he said.
‘With the promotion?’ It was an entirely innocent question, or at least she’d thought it was, but Jed stopped kissing her and frowned.
‘You’ve heard about that?’
‘Sorry.’ She tried to play for time.
‘How did you hear about that?’
She was glad for the lights being off for another reason now. Her face was on fire in the dark from her slip-up.
‘I don’t know,’ she attempted. ‘You know what that place is like, there’s always talk.’
‘I guess.’ He let out a long sigh. ‘Oh, well, if it’s out there’s nothing I can do about it. At least I know no one heard it from me.’
He forgot about it then but it took a while for Jasmine to.
He kissed her till she almost had, she kissed him back till she nearly did, but it was there at the back of her mind, just how complicated things were and he didn’t even know.
‘Are you all right?’ He lifted his head.
‘Just tense.’
She almost told him, she nearly did.
Except she’d promised her sister that she wouldn’t.
‘I can fix that.’
And he slid beneath the sheets and she lay there biting her lip, thrashing with her thoughts as his tongue urged her to give in.
He was incredibly patient.
Didn’t seem to mind a jot how long it took.
And she tried to relax to the probe of his tongue. To forget her problems, forget Penny and Lloyd and everything really except...
‘Jed?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Jed?’ She had to tell him, had to tell him now. ‘Things are complicated.’
‘Not from where I am,’ Jed said, lifting his head just a little. ‘You worry too much.’
Maybe she did, Jasmine realised, closing her eyes to the mastery of his mouth.
He gave her no room to think about it anyway. His hands lifted her buttocks so he could concentrate his efforts and he homed in, she pushed on his shoulders, because she should surely tell him, except he pushed back on the pressure she exerted and obliterated her thoughts with his tongue.
He was determined now, felt the shift in her, and it turned him on further. He loved feeling her unbend beneath him, loved the constant fight with her busy mind, and he would win this one and he felt her quiver as he worked on her most tender spot.
He felt her thighs start to tighten and the moans in her throat and he loved the wrestle within in her, loved how her hands moved from his shoulders and to his head, how her body begged him to continue while her mouth urged him to stop.
And then she gave in to him, shocked that he didn’t stop there, that when he should surely abate he worked harder, and she throbbed into him and still his mouth cursed her restraint. Still his tongue told her there was more, and there was.
He rose over her in the dark, his hand moved to the bedside and it was hers that stopped him, stopped a man who, very kindly, never forgot.
‘I told you,’ she said. ‘I’ve got the coil.’
And he smiled down at her as just once she said it. ‘And, yes, as I’ve since found out—he was crap in bed.’
There was nothing to complicate or confuse right now, just the bliss of him sliding inside her, and for Jed he had never been closer to another, just lost himself in her. It was more than sex and they both knew it—it was the most intimate either had ever been. He thrust into her as he wanted to and she tightened her legs around him. He could hear the purr in her throat and feel the scratch of her nails on his back and she knew that, however they denied it, this was fast becoming serious.
And yet there were secrets between them.
For Jed there were no secrets, or there soon wouldn’t be. He’d already made the decision to tell her, he just had to find
the right time and tonight wasn’t it. He felt her tighten around him, loved the intimacy and feeling her without the barrier of a sheath, loved the sob into his shoulder and the sudden demand within her that gave Jed permission to let go, which he did, but not fully. He lifted up on his arms and felt every beat of pleasure that shot out of him, he felt every flicker of hers, except he held back on the words that seemed most fitting right now.
He lay there afterwards and he should have been glad he hadn’t said them. Neither of them were ready for love, but for Jed it was starting to feel like it.
And for Jasmine too, she felt as if they were on the edge of something, something that neither had seen, a place they had never intended to go. Except he was in bed beside her and it felt as if he should be, and she knew what to do now.
She wasn’t waiting for the interviews, and Penny would just have to deal with it if it confused things.
Tomorrow, or at the very next opportunity, she would tell Penny.
Then she could be completely honest with Jed.
Then, Jasmine decided, there would be no holding back.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JED WAS GONE before Simon woke up, but her resolve was the same and once she’d given Simon his breakfast and got him dressed, Jasmine picked up the phone and rang Penny.
‘What are you doing, ringing me at work?’ Penny sounded irritated at the intrusion.
‘It’s the only chance I get to speak to you,’ Jasmine said. ‘Of course I can talk to you there if you prefer.’
‘No, this is fine,’ Penny sighed. ‘What did you want?’
‘I was hoping we could catch up away from work. There’s something I’d like to talk about, something I need to check with you.’
‘Fine,’ Penny said.
‘Tonight?’ Jasmine asked.
‘I’m going out tonight.’ And she was working the next one. ‘I’m going to Mum’s on Sunday for dinner—how about then?’
Jasmine really didn’t want to discuss this in front of their mother, but maybe they could go for a walk afterwards, or she could suggest that Penny go back to her place for a coffee?
‘Sounds good.’
‘So, when are you working again?’ Penny asked.
‘In a couple of hours’ time.’ Jasmine smiled. ‘I promise to keep on ignoring you.’
As she dropped Simon off at crèche, Jasmine realised that things were starting to work out—she was starting to think that this was maybe doable and that nine-to-five job in the fracture clinic might not be necessary after all. Vanessa’s mum was looking after Liam this evening, which meant that Ruby would pick Simon up from crèche and take him back to Jasmine’s. Her babysitting arrangements were all under control, if a touch too expensive, but it was worth it to be doing a job she loved and for the first time since way before Simon’s birth things were starting to look stable.
Well, not stable. Her heart leapt in her throat still at the sight of Jed and she was shaky with all the rush of a new romance, but the rest of her life seemed to be slotting together when just a few weeks ago it had seemed an impossible dream.
There was actually no chance to speak to Lisa about anything personal, or Jed, come to that. The department was incredibly busy and the late shift flew by, so much so that Jasmine blinked in surprise when Lisa caught her on the way up to the ward with a geriatric patient and lightly scolded her for not taking her breaks.
‘I had no idea of the time,’ Jasmine admitted, surprised to see it was already seven o’clock. ‘I’ll just take this one up to the ward.’
‘Well, make sure that when you get back you take a break,’ Lisa said. ‘I don’t care how busy the place is, I don’t want my staff burning out.’
Lisa was always insistent that her staff take their allotted breaks, and often she would ring Admin and have a nurse sent down from the wards during particularly busy periods.
After handing her patient over, Jasmine realised she was actually hungry and stopped at the vending machine for chocolate to take to her break. ‘It’s crazy out there,’ Vanessa greeted her when she got back to the staffroom. ‘Did Lisa tell you off for not taking a break?’
‘She did,’ Jasmine said, slipping off her shoes. ‘Maybe it’s going to be a full moon tonight. I don’t envy the night staff.’
‘It will be your turn again soon.’
‘I know,’ Jasmine groaned.
‘Did you speak to Ruby about staying over while you’re on nights?’
‘I did,’ Jasmine said. ‘She can do the first week. The problem is with the weekend on the second.’
‘I can help you with that,’ Vanessa said. ‘If you can help out next month when it’s my turn?’ She gave Jasmine a nice smile. ‘It all works out in the end.’
‘I know,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘I think I’ve got to stop looking too far ahead and take things more day by day.’
‘That’s all you can do when you’ve got little ones.’
Right now, Jasmine was looking forward to it being nine o’clock so that she could go home. Jed got off duty at ten and had promised to bring food, which meant she had just enough time to chat with Ruby and then hopefully have a quick shower before Jed arrived.
Yes, she was starting to think that things might work out.
‘Are you going to that?’ Vanessa broke into her thoughts.
‘Sorry?’
‘It’s the accident and emergency ball in a couple of weeks.’ Vanessa pointed to the rather impressive poster up on the staff noticeboard. ‘It’s the big fundraiser for the department. Apparently there are still some spare tickets.’
Jasmine’s eyes widened when she saw the price of the tickets and she wasn’t surprised that there were still a few left.
‘I doubt I’ll be going.’ Jasmine shook her head as she broke off some chocolate. Especially when she factored in the price of the new dress, hair, shoes and paying a babysitter. ‘Are we expected to go?’
‘Not really,’ Vanessa said. ‘It’s really more for the bigwigs. Mind you, it will be a fun night—there’s always loads of gossip whizzing around after an emergency do—we can have our fun with that afterwards, even if we can’t be there.’ Vanessa gave a mischievous smile. ‘Still, it’s a shame that we won’t get to watch Jed and Penny studiously avoiding each other and trying to pretend that they’re not together.’
Jasmine felt her blood run cold. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. ‘Jed and Penny?’
‘Didn’t you know?’ Vanessa was idly watching the television as she spoke and didn’t see Jasmine’s appalled expression and carried on chatting, blissfully unaware of the impact of her words. ‘They’ve been on and off since Jed started here, not that they would ever admit to it, of course. Heaven forbid that Penny brings her personal life into work and be so reckless as to display human tendencies.’ Vanessa’s words dripped sarcasm. ‘God knows what he sees in her.’
‘Maybe he doesn’t.’ Jasmine was having great trouble speaking, let alone sounding normal. ‘Maybe he doesn’t see anything in her. It’s probably just gossip—you know what this place can be like.’
‘I wish,’ Vanessa sighed. ‘Jed is just gorgeous. He’s wasted on that cold fish. But I’m afraid that this time the hospital grapevine is right—Greg walked in on them once and you can hardly miss the tension between them.’ She turned and looked at Jasmine. ‘I can’t believe you haven’t noticed. It’s an open secret, everyone knows.’ Vanessa stood up. ‘Come on, we’d better get back out there.’
Except Jasmine couldn’t move.
‘I’ll be along in a moment,’ Jasmine said. ‘I shan’t be long.’
Her hand was clenched around the chocolate so tightly it had all melted, not that she noticed till Vanessa had gone and Jasmine stood up. She headed for the bathrooms—she didn’t just feel sick, she actually
thought she might vomit as she washed the mess off her hands. She held onto the sink and tried to drag in air and calm her racing thoughts before heading back out there.
Not once had it entered her head that Penny and Jed might be together.
Not one single time.
And Penny had never so much as hinted that she was seeing someone.
But, then, why would she?
Penny never told Jasmine what was going on in her life. Her engagement had ended and Penny had said nothing about it other than it was over. She certainly never invited discussion. Jasmine, in turn, had never confided in Penny. Even when her marriage had been on the rocks, Jasmine had dealt with it herself—telling her mum and Penny that it was over only when her decision had already been made.
She should have listened to Penny, Jasmine realised. She should never have worked in the same department as her sister.
Jasmine scooped water from the sink into her hand and drank it, tried to calm herself down. Somehow she had to get through the rest of her shift.
Jed was coming round tonight.
Jasmine spun in panic at the thought.
She would talk to him... And say what?
If there was anything between him and Penny she would just end it and move to the fracture clinic.
Or back to Melbourne Central, because that sounded quite a good option right now. And if that sounded a lot like running away from her problems, well, at that moment Jasmine truly didn’t care. As much as she and Penny didn’t get on very well, never in a million years would she do that her sister.
Except it would seem that she already had.
* * *
‘You seem in a hurry to escape the place,’ Penny commented.
‘For once, yes,’ Jed said. ‘It’s all yours.’
He had more on his mind tonight than a busy department.
Tonight he was going to tell Jasmine the truth about what had happened with Samantha.
It was an unfamiliar route Jed was considering taking and one he was not entirely comfortable with. He was way too used to keeping things in. He’d avoided anything serious since his last break-up. Sure, he’d had the occasional date, but as soon as it had started to be anything more than that, Jed had found himself backing away. And as if to prove him right, the texts and tears that had invariably followed had only strengthened his resolve not to get attached and to step away. Except for the first time he felt as if he could trust another person. After all, Jasmine had opened up to him.
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