“Well, Bob,” he said, turning to rub the baby’s seeking muzzle. “Looks like in the end, you did the rescuing.” Bob simply batted his ridiculously long lashes and nudged T.J.’s hand harder, almost causing him to lose balance. “Whoa now. Just because you’re no longer on the dinner menu doesn’t mean you can walk all over me.” He rubbed the llama’s neck as he checked out the situation he’d gotten himself into. The baby hummed in his throat at the attention. “Spoiled brat is what you are,” T.J. said distractedly. He was going to need something to cut the wire and some of Bob’s fur—which meant finding a way through the fence.
Since Bob was wedged into the fence’s only broken-down section, that meant climbing over or through. T.J. sighed. Going through the slats was out. He was simply too big. And he didn’t think any amount of bullying was going to convince his body it could manage to climb over.
A sudden moan from behind him drove the dilemma clean from his mind. Jenna. He barely caught himself from spinning around, an action that would have likely sent him sprawling into the coils of rusty barbed wire with Bob. When he did manage to hop around, it was to see Jenna twisting and writhing, making occasional guttural moans that sounded as if someone had reached inside her soul and ripped them from her. T.J. immediately began the awkward trek back to her side, barely thinking clearly enough to speak to the baby when Bob resumed his frantic whines at being abandoned.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’ll all be okay.” T.J. repeated the litany over and over, knowing it was for all three of them, wishing he could be more convincing. He’d made this promise to her once before. He recalled with vivid clarity her earlier nightmarish episode. Apparently, sleep didn’t provide solace from her demons either. It did when she was in your arms.
The black mantle of guilt crept in once again, almost choking him this time as he watched her writhe helplessly. He shouldn’t have left her, should never have stopped stroking her. He didn’t stop to question why it was his responsibility. It simply was.
“Toby, no!” Her strangled howl grabbed at his throat. She was twisting now, clawing at her shirt and jeans as if they were somehow choking her. “Run!” she screamed hoarsely. “Run, damn you!” Her shout ended in a tortured moan as she continued to writhe, but her movements slowed as racking sobs shook her frame. “Can’t save me. Don’t. Not like Jonny. Please God, don’t …”
As he reached her side what seemed like a lifetime later, her sobs had diminished into low, keening moans, her body curled in on itself as she rocked in a relentless to-and-fro pattern.
Heedless of the shriek of pain in his shoulder, he dropped to the ground in a semicontrolled forward fall. There was a popping sound as the splints cracked, and the nausea-inducing feel of something tearing in his knee as he hit the ground momentarily stilled him until he could will the encroaching black void of unconsciousness to recede.
“Jenna,” he said softly, touching her face. Flames of pain licked at his shoulder and knee, stars still winked at the periphery of his vision, but he concentrated everything he had on stroking her face, smoothing his shaky fingertips over her hair. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. No one is hurt. We’re all okay. You’re safe, Jenna, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
Gradually, her rocking slowed, her moans softened to whimpers. T.J. kept on, his entire being focused on her. “One way or the other, we’re going to talk about this,” he said gently. “You need to get it out.” He stroked her face again, then leaned in and placed as soft a kiss as he could on her temple. “You need me.”
It was at once that simple and that complicated. Because in that moment he realized he needed her too. He needed her frank approach to situations and her blustery bravado when life approached her a bit too closely. He needed her strong will and determination and her sweet surrender.
But what leveled his remaining defenses was his sudden revelation that even if he let her walk away, he couldn’t go back to working for Scottie and the Dozen. His work for them required him to be separate, insular, a loner in heart, mind, and soul. He wasn’t a loner any longer.
And without Jenna, he’d simply be alone.
As if he’d relayed his feelings through his touch, her eyelids slowly opened. His mouth was still whisper close. He didn’t back away or take his hand away—he couldn’t. He continued to stroke her, silently hoping that she’d both drift back to healing sleep … and that she’d stay awake and help him explore this new path she’d unknowingly led him down.
She didn’t stiffen or pull away. Her eyes were as warm and richly soft as chocolate left in the sun. “You rescued me.” Her naturally husky tone blended delectably with the dreamy softness of her whispered declaration.
“I’m beginning to think we rescued each other.” Even though he’d barely whispered, his words chased the dreaminess from her eyes as she came fully awake.
“What are you doing?” she asked sharply. Her gaze shifted right and left, then back to his. “Did I fall again?”
T.J. stayed right where he was. “You collapsed after crossing the mudflats.”
Her brows furrowed, then smoothed. A tiny bit of color returned to her cheeks. “I think I’m okay. You can back off now.” She started to shift to her side, but T.J. stopped her with a hand to her shoulder.
“You had a nightmare, probably brought on by extreme fatigue.” He pushed on even as she very deliberately began to shut down. I’m sorry, Jenna, he wanted to say but didn’t. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew if he gave her any opportunity to build new walls, she’d not only seize it, but would find a way to make them more impenetrable than before. He cared too much to let that happen. “Who’s Toby?”
If he’d slapped her, Jenna couldn’t have been more stunned—or hurt. She felt … betrayed. Somehow, somewhere she’d gotten the idea that T.J. wouldn’t hurt her. She’d begun to trust him.
You’re safe, Jenna, I’ve got you.
T.J.’s whispered words echoed through her mind. Had he really said them? Or in her fevered dream had she merely wanted him to?
It didn’t matter. He’d proven that.
She shoved hard at his chest. It was like trying to move a granite slab. Even if all her strength had been available to her, the outcome would have been the same. It was frustrating. When she pushed, things generally moved. She looked him in the eyes. “It’s none of your damn business. Get off me,” she demanded, galled that she had to do even that much. “There are ranch buildings a couple hundred yards on the other side of the fence. I want to get there before it starts getting dark.” Which would be in a few short hours judging from the slant of the sun behind T.J.’s head.
“We have plenty of time.”
“Maybe by your watch. But when the sun dips behind that range, it’s going to get real cold, real fast. You may be Superman, but I won’t be winning any speed races across that field. Let me up now.”
“You won’t have to get across the field on foot. There’s a farm truck on the other side of the fence. I was trying to free Bob so we could get to it when you began to scream.”
“Great, we finally get a break. So why don’t—” Scream? She’d screamed in her sleep? Heat stung her cheeks as mortification clogged her throat.
“It killed me to hear you like that. Talk to me, Jenna.” His tone was velvet smooth, but his voice contained a thread of steel nonetheless. “What happened to you and Toby? Does it have something to do with your ankle?”
Fear ate through the humiliation, investing the words that spewed forth with anger. “For the last time, Delahaye, it’s not open for discussion. Get off me. Screaming’s not the only way I can kill you.”
He smiled. The son of a gun smiled.
Her hand swung up along with her knee. Neither connected. With a grunt of pain, he pulled her further under him. Despite his cavemanlike tactics, he’d been careful not to hit her ankle. That only made her angrier.
“You get your kicks bullying people?” she ground out.
“No, that’s your department.�
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Her mouth dropped open in shock. Then she remembered her ankle. “And don’t coddle me, dammit,” she sputtered. She wrestled beneath him, but rolling a redwood off of her would have been easier.
“I love it when you get physical.”
Her voice shook with barely leashed fury. “Don’t you dare condescend to me either.”
“What, can’t handle a little real competition, Jenna? Am I getting in too close? Didn’t you ever take time to build defenses for that?” He leaned in closer. “Or didn’t you think you’d ever need them?”
“You have no idea what I need.”
“Oh, but I think I do.”
Her eyes widened, and her heart cranked up another few beats per second. “Then you don’t know squat. You’re no different than the rest of them,” she lied. He was nothing like anyone she’d ever met.
“I’m not talking about sex, Jenna. Not that I don’t think spending an hour or two exploring your mouth wouldn’t be a worthwhile endeavor, not to mention incredibly satisfying … but that’s not what you need.” He had the nerve to wink at her. “At least not all of it.”
It galled her to lie there and do nothing, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of struggling again. Leaving the rage clear in her eyes, she allowed her body to go limp beneath his. It took every ounce of will she had. “Fine, knock yourself out. We’ll both freeze our asses off. At least yours will get it first.”
“Such a tantalizing invitation.” He leaned in closer and let his lips barely brush hers.
Jenna cursed silently when she felt herself tremble in response to his gentle caress and seductive words. If he’d simply taken her mouth hard and brutally, she would have … You would have loved that too, her little voice said. “Shut up,” she muttered. The action made her lips rub against his.
“You’re right. Maybe we should stop talking for a while.” He took a slow, wet taste of her lips, dipped down and kissed her chin, then dropped tiny, soft kisses at the corners of her mouth. Framing her face with one hand, he leaned into her and continued the assault. How could kisses be both lazy and determined? She felt no pressure, yet there was a definite demand.
Jenna realized far too late how badly she’d misjudged the strength of her defenses against him. Going pliant beneath him had only emphasized how beautifully he fit into the contours of her body. His big body felt heavy and wonderful and matched hers toe to toe, hip to hip. It was a singular experience, and she’d have been worse than a liar if she said she wanted him to get off of her now. She wanted to move under him, press the dark ache that throbbed between her legs against the sweet hard length that was right there for the taking, and certain to ease it.
She wanted to taste him, hold him, run her fingers over every inch of his body, then follow up with her mouth and tongue. She wanted to kiss him.
So she did.
On a soft moan, she opened her mouth and shifted so it covered his. His responding growl sent hot shivers of pleasure over her skin and right straight down through her body. Oh, the power, the beauty, and the pleasure … She hadn’t known. She hadn’t, in her wildest fantasies, imagined it could be like this. They matched. He was perfect for her. She was perfect for him.
The very idea was almost too huge to contemplate. Jenna the Amazon feeling feminine and … and … And oh, dear sweet Lord but she wanted to take him. Even more thrilling, she wanted to be taken by him. And the darkest, most secret thrill of all was the knowledge that he could take her, fully and completely.
Surrender. Never had she thought there could be power and strength in giving herself to another. Oh, but she’d been wrong, so incredibly, wonderfully wrong.
T.J. plunged his tongue into her mouth, sipping, tasting. Jenna wanted that. So she took it. T.J. groaned into her mouth, causing the urgency of her needs to leap up another level. She slid her tongue down the length of his, then pressed her hip up against him as she wrapped her tongue around his. All of her, around all of him. The feeling was stark and sinous, exhilarating and erotic.
Once understanding of what she was doing snuck in, desire grabbed her hard and fast until she was suddenly desperate to satisfy it. Desperate to have him fill her.
“T.J.,” she breathed, pulling in air. Air, she needed air. Instead of panic, it brought the wondrous thrill of danger. The rush of adrenaline was pure and powerful. Only her job had ever given her that, and she’d thought she’d never crave it again. It was a shock to find that heady response with him, in intimacy. Yes, yes, she wanted to shout, exulting in her discovery. There was danger here. Yet she was safe to explore it, safe to take her time. Nothing could hurt her. It was all about feelings and pleasure. The only danger lay in what she might discover about herself.
“Oh, you taste good,” T.J. said. Her answer was lost on a gasp as he slid his tongue along her jaw and down her throat. He licked her neck, nibbled it, then kissed it.
She arched madly beneath him, half-wild to take what she needed to assuage the clawing ache between her legs. Her writhing incited T.J., who met her hips with a drive of his own. His growl against her neck drove her insane.
She grabbed at his head, spearing her fingers through his hair. “Do something, damn you,” she demanded on a hoarse breath.
He lifted his head. His eyes were bright and hot, and she’d never seen anything so incredible in all her life.
“For God’s sake, make this ache go away, T.J.” she half begged, half demanded, knowing in her heart of hearts he was more than capable … and the only one who could.
He ground his hips down, wringing a long growl from her from deep in her throat. His eyes flared brighter, the smile that crossed his face at once devastatingly wicked and seductive.
“You want me to put your fire out, Jenna?”
The analogy didn’t startle her. It was too perfect. “Yes.” Yes, yes, yes. The word echoed again and again as she pulled his head back down to hers. Her mind raced, her emotions a mad tumble, yet somehow there was a clarity of thought she’d never experienced. Here, she thought with absolute certainty, here all my fires will be tended. Some extinguished forever … others stoked again and again to a flaming conflagration.
It was as if he read her thoughts. “What say we fan the flames a little hotter first, my Jenna.” He nipped at her mouth, then bit her chin. “Make it more fun to put out.” The obvious pleasure he found in her was intoxicating, seemed to beg her to come and play. She couldn’t resist or refuse.
A small smile curved her lips, spreading when his pupils shot wider and his breath caught. “I should warn you,” she said. “When it comes to fire, you’re playing with a professional.”
This time T.J.’s grin was on the far side of wicked. He leaned in and licked a path from her lips to her ear. His whisper was dark and hot and oh so deliciously full of promise. “Go ahead, hotshot, you go on and light my fire.” He nipped her earlobe, then pulled it into his mouth.
Jenna whimpered on a strangled laugh. “Dear God, the things you do to me.”
He looked back at her. “We’ve only just begun, my Jenna. We’ve only just begun.” Then he took her.
This time his kiss was hard and demanding. He pressed his weight more fully on her. She kissed him back with everything she had, reveling in the sudden knowledge that, with T.J., she would never need to hold back. She was free to be herself, all of herself. It blew her mind. She attacked with exuberance, reeling with the pleasures of this newfound territory, delighted to find his encouragement at every taste, every touch, every whispered demand.
“That’s it. Take me, Jenna. Come and get what you want.”
She grabbed his shoulders, and he suddenly stilled, grunting with pain. She froze. “Oh, no, your shoulder. T.J. I’m so sorr—”
With an even deeper growl, he slid his good arm under her and rolled to his back, cutting off her words as he splayed her across his chest with thrilling ease.
Her bad ankle remained safely on the ground, but she immediately swung her other leg wide across
him to avoid hitting his knee—which ended up wedging what ached the most right down against the one thing that was sure to ease it.
“Oh … my.” She stilled, but her hips had other ideas. They rolled, and a cascade of pleasure washed back over her.
T.J.’s answering moan seconded the idea. “That’s right, Jenna. You can take that too.” He reached up with his good arm to pull her down. “Please.”
“Your knee, your shoulder—”
“Are fine compared to this other ache that I have. Come here.”
She went willingly against his beautifully bared chest. He cradled her tightly, and it was more satisfying than she’d ever imagined.
“You don’t have to hold back with me,” he said gently, then tipped her face to his and kissed her long and deep until she was squirming again and wanting to claw her clothes off, and his.
“Mmm-hmm, that’s it. Move on me, Jenna. You can’t hurt me.” She happened to grind down on him at that moment, and he groaned, “God no, you’re going to kill me first.” He yanked her mouth back to his and took her roughly until they were both breathing hard and writhing. His voice a gravel rasp, he put a whisper of space between their lips and said, “I want to be inside you. I’ll fill you up, Jenna. You’ll take all of me. We’re a match. A perfect match.”
T.J. was sure his heart—or something equally important—was going to explode if he didn’t feel her wrapped fully around him. He reached down between them and all but ripped the brass stud from his jeans.
He grinned when his fingers tangled with hers. “You do yours, I’ll do mine.”
TEN
T.J. was rewarded with a breathless laugh that changed to a moan when her zipper slid down. He stopped long enough to enjoy the exquisite sensations that rocked him as she shimmied her jeans down and slipped one leg off.
And then he was free. A second later he did die. She wrapped her hand around him and kissed the exploding pulse on the side of his neck.
“We’d better—you have to—” He choked on his own half groan, half laugh. She’d reduced him to a stuttering, lust-crazed maniac. “Jenna, please, for the love of—”
Light My Fire: A Loveswept Classic Romance Page 11