“Jerica?”
To his amazement, the crumpled heap shuddered and struggled to sit upright.
“Jerica!”
A hoarse whisper-soft voice spoke his name. “Joel?”
“It’s me, sweetie.” He plowed through the tangle of vines and jagged rocks on the creek bed and hunched down beside her, searching her tiny form for signs of injury. It was hard to tell in the dim light, but she didn’t seem to be bleeding. And she was moving her limbs and speaking clearly. Those were good signs.
He reached out and touched her forehead lightly. It felt cool and dry against his palm. “Jerica? It’s Joel. Are you okay?”
“Joel?” There was disbelief—suspicion—in her voice. “Is it really Joel?”
“It’s me,” he repeated. “It’s me.” He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and crush her to himself, afraid she might have injuries he couldn’t see.
She leaned to peer up into his face. “Oh, Joel. I found you,” she cried. “I found you!”
A sob crawled up his throat, and it was all he could do to smother it. “Yes, sweetheart.” He laid a gentle hand on her dirt-smudged, petal-soft cheek. “You found me.”
Thirty-Three
“Are you okay, honey? Does anything hurt?” Joel eyed Jerica carefully. “Did you fall down here?”
The little girl frowned and shook her head. “I climbed. I didn’t want those people to find me.”
“What people?”
“Those people that were yelling at me. And that old man that was chasing me. I didn’t want them to talk to me. They were going to make me go to jail.”
She didn’t seem to be delirious. In fact her voice—her vocabulary—was far more grown-up than he remembered. She was taller, too. Looking at her gangly arms and legs, it struck him that he had missed out on a whole year of her life. Again, he felt like weeping.
“No, honey. Nobody wants to put you in jail. They’re all just worried about you. Your mommy is worried about you.”
Jerica rolled onto her hands and knees and struggled to stand.
“Wait a minute, sweetie. Sit down. Let’s make sure you didn’t break anything. Can you wiggle your fingers and toes?”
She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind, but she plopped back down on the ground. She held up her arms and wriggled her fingers, then looked down at her feet. He could see the outline of her toes squirming inside small, muddy tennis shoes.
“Good … good,” he said. He squeezed her feet through the shoes and patted her legs gently. The soles of her shoes emitted a flash of light, matching the rhythm of his pats—the flicker he’d seen from the trail. Thank you, Lord, for that crazy fad.
Gently, he palpated her arms and legs. When he was fairly sure that nothing was broken, he helped her stand and brushed the dirt and leaves from her overalls. “Are you okay?” he asked again.
She nodded, her eyes as dark as coffee beans. “Are you going to take me back to my mommy?” she asked solemnly.
“Yes, Jerica, I am. Your mommy is worried sick about you. She’s been looking everywhere for you. We were all worried.”
She didn’t respond.
“Here,” Joel said, holding out his arms, “let me carry you.” He put his hands around her waist and lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt her warm, sweet breath on his neck, and he wanted to hold her that way forever.
He climbed up the embankment to the main trail. Jerica felt like a weightless bird in his arms. And he felt as though he could fly.
A thousand images swirled through his mind in the twenty minutes it took him to walk down from the trail. Jerica was quiet on his shoulder, and he thought perhaps she’d fallen asleep.
Sweet memories of the times he and Melanie and Jerica had spent together in Silver Creek filled his thoughts. He remembered a smaller Jerica grinning at him across the T-ball field. He saw her and Melanie, faces aglow from the candles on a birthday cake they’d made just for him. He heard the music of their laughter—mother and daughter—and envisioned their beloved faces that held smiles that were meant for him alone. It was as if his life—the fleeting time he’d shared with Melanie and Jerica—passed before him. They said that happened before you died. He couldn’t help but think that when he emerged from these woods it would indeed signify a death of sorts.
But he could not grieve any longer. There was no sorrow left in him. He’d been privileged to help Melanie in one of her darkest hours. He’d been given one last chance to say good-bye. To see their faces. Even to hold Jerica in his arms. And for that he would always be grateful.
As he came closer to the trailheads and began to catch pulses of light through the trees from the emergency vehicles, he found himself torn between slowing his steps to savor these final minutes as long as possible and hurrying to Melanie to ease her agony over Jerica. He shook his head, put his selfish desires aside, and quickened his pace. He grew breathless as he came down the last wide steps carved into the foot of the mountain.
He heard someone shout, and then pandemonium struck. From the corner of his vision he saw the ambulance backing up to the entrance to the hiking trails. He saw the dogs being led back into the K-9 vehicle. A cadre of reporters and television camera crews crowded toward him. He watched Detective Nathanson and several other law enforcement officers jogging to meet him. And then he saw Melanie sobbing for joy in the arms of the tall, handsome man.
Now she pushed away from the man and broke through the crowd, racing toward her daughter, crying out her name. Joel put a protective hand on Jerica’s head and hurried toward Melanie.
At the sound of her mother’s voice, Jerica stirred in his arms, and he moved her from his shoulder to the cradle of his arms so that Melanie could see her face, see that she was unharmed.
Melanie was only yards away now, arms outstretched, tears streaking her face. Joel kissed the top of Jerica’s head one last time, then he held out his offering. Melanie dropped to her knees, and Jerica slid from his arms and ran into her mother’s embrace, nearly bowling her over. Mother and daughter knelt together on the rocky ground and held on to each other as if they would never let go.
He did not want to leave them. Didn’t want to let Melanie or Jerica out of his sight. But neither did he want to cause them more distress than they’d already suffered.
He reached out and put a tentative hand on Melanie’s arm. “I … I’m glad she’s all right,” he told her.
She looked up, as if noticing him for the first time. Her eyes seemed to reflect all the sorrow and regret that was in his heart. “Oh, Joel. How can I ever thank you? I’m so sorry for … putting you through this.”
Her words were ludicrous in light of the fact that it was his fault they were here in the first place. “I’m just … glad she’s safe. Everything will be all right now.” He wished he could make those words true for Melanie, wished he believed them for himself. He reached out to touch her again, thought better of it, and pulled his hand away.
Just then, Melanie’s friend appeared and nodded curtly to Joel. Then he knelt and put a gentle hand on the little girl’s shoulder and stroked her face. “Are you okay, sweetie?” He brushed a strand of tangled hair off her forehead.
Joel watched them, feeling invisible. And numb. He turned away and started walking, skirting the perimeter of the command center, which was already beginning to disintegrate.
A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to find a policeman eyeing him.
“Mr. Ellington?”
Joel nodded.
“Could you come with me, please? We’d like to ask you a few questions.”
If she lived to be a hundred, Melanie didn’t think she would ever feel such gratitude as she felt now, holding her daughter in her arms. She wept tears of joy, and then, as she thought again of what could have happened, she felt a flash of anger. She was tempted to spank some sense into her daughter. What had Jerica been thinking, running off like that in a s
trange place where she knew no one, was familiar with nothing?
Before her emotions could bring her full circle to gratitude again, she became aware of the medical personnel working around her.
A husky, bearded man put a hand on her arm. “Ma’am, we’d like to check her out. Make sure we haven’t missed any broken bones or internal injuries.”
She let the man take Jerica from her embrace. The little girl whimpered a little, but Melanie gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, punkin. I’ll be right here.”
“Wait, Mommy. Where did Joel go?” She craned her neck to look around the paramedic’s bulky figure.
“He … it’s okay, Jerica. They … Someone just needed to talk to him. You need to let this man check you out, okay.”
“Tell Joel not to leave, okay?”
Melanie bit her bottom lip. “It’ll be okay, Jerica.”
Matthew helped Melanie to her feet. She leaned against his strong frame, watching as the technicians did an initial check of Jerica. Melanie was vaguely aware that the various law enforcement agencies manning the command center were working hard to keep the media at bay. Melanie heard her name and the shouted questions that followed, and she saw an occasional camera flash, but for the most part the officers’ efforts seemed to be successful. She was thankful. She was in no mood to answer any questions.
The paramedic who had taken Jerica from her arms turned to her now. “It looks like your little girl is fine, Mrs. LaSalle, but we strongly recommend transporting her to a hospital to be checked over by a physician. We probably ought to start an IV on her, too. She was out there for an awful long time without anything to eat or drink.”
Melanie looked to Matthew who was nodding his agreement. “Yes,” she said. “Of course. May I ride with her?”
“Of course.”
The ambulance personnel placed Jerica on a gurney and slid her into the vehicle. Melanie climbed up behind them and took a seat on the narrow bench the technician indicated. Jerica was quiet as he checked her vital signs, and she barely flinched when he inserted a needle to start the IV.
As the ambulance rolled past what was left of the temporary command center, Melanie glanced out the window. She saw Matthew standing by himself to one side, his face still reflecting the grim potential their situation had carried. Small contingents of volunteer searchers waved and smiled as the emergency vehicle headed out of the park.
They neared the exit, and Melanie’s heart lurched as she caught sight of Joel. He was standing beside Sergeant Riordan’s patrol car, deep in conversation with the police officer. With one hand on Jerica’s shoulder, Melanie turned in her seat to peer from the window as the ambulance pulled onto the highway. Joel faded from sight, and she took a shuddering breath. How she longed for a chance to express her gratitude to Joel. Just to speak with him once more. She’d been able to tell him thank you when he came down from the trail, but the words were so very inadequate. There was so much that had been left unsaid between them.
She hoped Matthew would seek Joel out before he left and express their thanks for what he had done today.
As the vehicle sped along the parkway, the drone of the engine settled into a constant purr, and Jerica was lulled to sleep. Now the frightening memories of the last few hours rolled over Melanie in full force. She reached for Jerica’s hand and ran a finger over the inside of her tiny wrist, desperately needing the assurance of the pulse that fluttered there.
From the jump seat at Jerica’s head, the paramedic gave Melanie a reassuring nod. “She’s doing just fine.” He turned his attention to regulating the IV and checking the little girl’s blood pressure again.
Closing her eyes, Melanie leaned her head against the side of the ambulance and shut out everything around her.
Oh, thank you, Father. How can I ever thank you enough for restoring my daughter to me? And thank you, Lord … for using Joel. Now Jerica will always know how much Joel cared for her. Thank you for ending it this way. Her eyes filled with tears. She pressed her fingers against her eyelids, but the tears seeped out anyway. She’d shed far too many tears over the past hours … and weeks, and months. It was time to let go. Time to relinquish everything. Her daughter. Her future. Her very life.
And Joel.
I give up, Lord. I’ve been trying to figure out this puzzle for so long. I’ve tried so hard to make the pieces fit the way I want them to fit and I … I can’t do it. I realize now that you never intended me to do it. Forgive me for trying to fix things on my own. Oh, Father, I’ve been searching for so long, trying to find what I lost. Trying to find peace. But I realize now that I’ve been looking in the wrong places. Only you can give me the things I’ve been searching for. And … Father, you’ve been there all along … waiting patiently for me to come to my senses. Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me. I give it all up. I put it all in your hands.
Her breath came easier, and a sweet peace settled over her like a cool sheet on a warm summer night. She could not renounce her love for Joel Ellington. Having been so newly in his presence, she felt her love more strongly than ever. But now she surrendered her right to have him in her life. Surrendered willingly and gratefully. It was far too heavy a burden to carry by herself.
Thirty-Four
The hospital bed dwarfed Jerica. Melanie smoothed the blankets around her slight form again and watched her daughter’s face closely. The little girl was engrossed in an old Andy Griffith rerun and seemed oblivious to all that had happened in the last twelve hours.
Melanie released a breath of pent-up stress. Movement in the hallway caught her eye, and she looked up to see Matthew standing just outside the door. In his hands he clutched a bouquet of colorful balloons and a plush stuffed animal.
Jerica’s view was blocked by the curtain drawn between her bed and the empty bed nearest the door. Being careful not to bump the IV needle that was taped in place on the back of her small hand, Melanie patted her daughter’s black-and-blue arm. “I’ll be right back, sweetie.”
She went to give Matthew a hug.
“How is she?” her brother whispered.
“She seems to be doing great. She has some pretty good bruises, and she’s tired, but she ate like a little pig at supper. I don’t think they really needed to admit her.”
“Maybe not, but you know you would have worried about her all night if we’d taken her home.”
She nodded. “That’s probably true. I guess it’s good to have her here overnight at least. Come on in. She’s awake. She’ll be thrilled to see you. And she’ll love the balloons. That was so sweet of you, Matt.” Melanie looked up and read the message on the largest Mylar balloon: YOU ARE SPECIAL.
Melanie led the way into Jerica’s room, but with a teasing twinkle in his eye, Matt put a finger to his lips and tiptoed to Jerica’s bedside. Hiding behind the curtain, he stuck the balloon bouquet around the barrier where Jerica would see it.
Jerica started, then squealed, “Joel? Daddy!”
Where she stood at the end of Jerica’s bed, Melanie froze. She watched Matthew’s shoulders slump and his smile fade. She pasted a smile on her own face and—trying to ignore Jerica’s comment—drew Matthew quickly into Jerica’s line of vision. “It’s Uncle Matt, Jer. Look what he brought for you!”
Jerica’s countenance fell. “Oh … hi, Uncle Matt.”
Melanie grabbed the stuffed animal from Matt’s hands and thrust it into Jerica’s lap, desperate to turn the child’s thoughts another direction. “Look, sweetie. Uncle Matt brought you a little”—she picked up the toy again and inspected it—“it’s an otter, isn’t it? Or is it a seal? Isn’t he darling?”
Jerica took the plush toy and hugged it to her face with her right hand, but Melanie didn’t miss the slight crane of her daughter’s neck toward the curtain.
Matthew gave Melanie a sidewise glance, and she forced another smile.
“How are you feeling, baby doll?” Matt asked his niece, moving to the end of the bed.
“Good. I wanna go h
ome. Where’s Brock and Jace?”
“Aunt Karly stayed home with them—and baby Parker.” He looked at his watch and winked at her. “It’s past their bedtime. What are you doing up so late anyway?”
“Uncle Matt,” Jerica huffed, throwing him a long-suffering look, “I’m in the hospital. I been sleeping forever.”
Matt laughed and reached out to tweak her toes through the thin hospital blanket.
Jerica yelped, but quickly turned serious. “Do you know when Joel’s coming to see me?” she asked. Her question was pointedly directed at Matt.
Melanie pressed two fingers hard against her temple, suddenly aware that her head was throbbing. Jerica had asked about Joel half a dozen times since they’d admitted her to the hospital. After all Jerica had been through, how would they explain Joel’s absence to her? No, how would she explain? It wasn’t fair to drag Matthew into this.
She stepped in to rescue Matt. “Jerica … honey … I’m not sure if we’ll … see Joel again. We are so glad he found you, and I told him thank you … back at the park. I’m sure he knows how happy you are that he found you.”
“I found him, Mommy. I found him for you.”
“Oh, sweetie. I know you were trying to help, but you need to let Mommy take care of this. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but … this is between Mommy and Joel. Mommy is fine now. I … I don’t want you to worry about it—about me—anymore, okay?”
Jerica shook her head solemnly, her eyes seeming far too old for her innocent face.
“I’d probably better get going,” Matthew said now, obviously uncomfortable with this conversation. He squeezed Jerica’s toes again. “I’ll see you at our house tomorrow, okay, squirt?”
“Okay. Bye.”
“What do you tell Uncle Matt, Jerica?” Melanie reminded in a stage whisper.
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