by Candice Dow
Kari said, “You sure look pretty. Where you guys going?”
“Just out.”
“It’s late for dinner and you ain’t dressed for a booty call.”
“I still like to impress him.”
“That’s cool.”
I arrived at the hotel in Arlington a few minutes after twelve. When I knocked on the door a tall white man dressed in a suit opened it. I entered and looked around. His iPod was connected to the clock radio and it sounded like elevator music.
“How are you this evening?” I asked, before sitting on the bed.
He reached out to shake my hand. “Timothy, and you are?”
“I’m London.”
“Nice to meet you, London.”
I pulled my dress up so he could see that I wasn’t wearing panties. He loosened his tie and began to unbutton his shirt. I kicked off my heels and scooted back on the bed and began to masturbate, hoping to arouse him quickly. His suit was on the floor in a matter of seconds. He got a condom and turned the lights out before diving into me. After a few strokes he flipped over so I could be on top. I pulled my dress over my head as I ground on him.
He grabbed my arms and placed them around his neck. “Choke me.”
Ugh! I hated men with the choking fetish. I placed one hand around his neck and softly pushed my thumb into his throat. He said, “Harder.”
I pressed a little harder, but it still wasn’t good enough. He demanded I do it until he stopped breathing. I hated that game and that night was no different. I stopped moving and said, “I’m not going to do this.”
“Just a little bit harder,” he said, as he raised his butt to push deeper.
I decided to apply enough pressure to excite him, but not too much. Suddenly he stopped moving. It felt like he’d gone limp inside me. Oh shit. I jumped off him and began to shake him. He almost appeared to be sleeping. I turned the light on, rushed to the bathroom, and got a cup of cold water. I splashed it in his face and began to smack him. My heart raced. I’d begun to gasp for breath as I wondered what the hell I was going to do. I smacked harder and harder with all my might. Wake up. You bastard. Wake up.
He slowly opened his eyes. I panted as I covered my face. All my organs had stopped functioning too. He smiled at me and I wanted to spit on him. “What is wrong with you? This shit is not funny.”
“Calm down. It happens all the time.”
I grabbed my dress and slipped it over my head. “Not with me.”
“We’re not done.”
“I am.”
I grabbed my bag and stormed out of his room. I wanted no part of that. I had done the choking thing before but no one had actually passed out on me. He could keep his money for all I cared as the door slammed behind me. When I got to my car my heart was still beating fast. What if he had died? How would I have ever explained myself? Who would have believed it was a sex act gone wrong? What if I had gotten arrested for murder? My life flashed before my eyes. I was going nowhere fast.
When I walked into my apartment I leaned my back against the door as if I were being chased. It was quiet and calm. I checked on Kari and she was sound asleep. I sat down in the living room and all I could think of was being in jail. I felt like it was time to get it together.
21
When I woke up the next day Kari was making breakfast. She said, “Good morning.”
“Morning, Kari.”
“You got back early last night. I wasn’t expecting you until this morning.”
“Why?” I paused. “You know he’s married, right?”
She turned from the stove. “Is that why you were crying last night?”
“Why didn’t you check on me if you heard me?”
“London, through all that you and your college beau went through and the things you’ve gone through with your mother, I’ve never seen you cry. Ever. You’re the hardest girl I know and I was just stunned. I didn’t know what to say but I slept on it and figured I’d bring it up this morning and see if you wanted to talk.”
I took several long, deep breaths. The past two and a half years of bottling up my feelings came pouring out. I told her what I’d been doing, why I’d been missing. I gave no names. I didn’t tell her that Thorne was the organizer, but I told her my role and how I thought I was coming to the end of my rope. Kari was stunned. She couldn’t believe that I had stooped so low for no real reason except money. She reminded me that it was the root of all evil.
“London, you deserve so much better. Don’t settle for that. Leave that to women without a brain.”
After spending the morning explaining my complicated life, I called Thorne. He agreed to do lunch. We met at a bar and grill downtown. When I entered, Thorne was already seated. He waved me over to the table. I leaned in for a kiss on the cheek. I hadn’t told him anything when I called, but he’d immediately picked up on me. He said, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I’m tired. I’m not sure I want to do this anymore.”
“That’s valid.”
I’d thought he would try to talk me out of it, so I waited before continuing. “I don’t really know how other people manage two lives and I’ve been doing this for too long. I don’t even have a personal life anymore. I don’t even have feelings anymore.”
“So you feel like you’re missing something, huh?”
“Not really missing something, but—”
“No, no. I understand because you do miss a lot.”
“I guess. I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“Are a lot of your friends beginning to settle down and get married?”
“Not those really close to me, but people indirectly related to me.”
“It’s typical that around twenty-six or so, women start envying their friends who are married and having babies. So they begin to resent the lifestyle, feeling like it has somehow prevented them from significant relationships.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what I feel right now. I think I just need a break.”
He swallowed some water and shook his head, staring into my eyes. “London, I feel like I tried to teach you things, but then again I feel like I failed you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what’s your backup plan?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Are you still walking dogs?”
“Not really. I create false receipts so that I can claim for taxes, but for the most part I haven’t walked dogs in a long time and that’s slow, slow money. I really don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“A part of this is my fault. You were always available and I let you be my go-to girl and I think it prevented you from pursuing all your other dreams. Now what are we going to do?”
“It’s not the end of the world, Thorne. I have enough money saved to figure out my next step. Maybe I’ll go back to school.”
“I can use an administrator.”
“At Quinn Forrester?”
“No, at William Thorne.”
“What would be my role?”
“Making arrangements.”
“You wouldn’t let me do that. Would you?”
“London, you’ve done more than enough for me. You’ve taken the jobs nobody wanted to take. This is the least I can do for you in the meantime. Until we figure out what you’re going to do.”
“I’ve always wanted to open a kennel.”
He explained the importance of taking an average idea and placing your own spin on it. He told me that he believed I was a good businesswoman and he would help me get my business plan together. He asked, “So what would you say you’ve been reporting as business earnings?”
“A little more than half. Whatever I deposit in the account is what I claim.”
“Good, that’s a start. If you’re really serious about starting a kennel or dog motel, we will have to start with your current business earnings. Investors like to see what your earning potential is without a budget and the more you earned on your own, the more they
think the business will return a profit with investors.”
While we sat at lunch, he made a series of phone calls to get the ball rolling with my kennel idea. He set up a meeting with a company that wrote business proposals and instructed me to begin writing my ideas down. In the meantime I would be relieving some of his load as far as booking was concerned.
22
I was officially out of the business and living on savings as I followed all of Thorne’s advice to start up my company. When my business plan was done we sat down in front of a few investors and, like the old saying goes, I only needed one yes. When I got it, it was a matter of getting things into motion. I found two brownstones side by side that were being auctioned off by the city. They were in northwest DC, right off of New York Avenue and just about a mile from the White House. The community was up and coming. There were many new condominium complexes being renovated and built. It was prime real estate. I had an architect design the blueprint for the facility. I wanted it to look like an upscale hotel. I used inspiration from all the rooms I’d been in as I tried to convey what I envisioned. We went with the name Unleashed. The investors liked it and so did I. My logo was designed by a graphics company and Thorne suggested I hire it as a brand manager.
Everything was in motion, and just as the contractors began working I realized we were drying up funds at an exponential rate. Thorne suggested I go back to the investors to see if I could get more, but they turned me down. If I got a loan and invested more of a percentage, I would earn more of a percentage on the back end. So I did just that. I went back to the bank for more money. It gave me pretty much a few more pennies, but I resorted to credit cards as a backup.
We were back in action, and in about twelve months Unleashed opened its doors. The business started out slower than I expected. I was practically robbing one person to pay the other. I hated living like that. I wasn’t cut from the struggling cloth but I knew that all business owners had to do it at one point or another. Some of my ex-dog-walking clients stopped by for the open house, but no one booked a dog to stay. I opened the doors in the middle of October and maybe that had something to do with it. I couldn’t imagine it would be summer before I reaped anything from this. I could hear my mother’s voice telling me there was no money in dog care. As I struggled to make ends meet, I agreed.
It had been a year and a half since the incident and I had sworn that I would never go back, but as I stood waist-deep in debt, there was only one way for me to make the type of money I needed. I called Thorne and simply said, “Put me back in the portfolio.”
“London, I think you should keep doing what you’re doing. Things will turn around.”
“Look, you’ve given me enough money and I’ve borrowed money from anyone who would give it to me. I’m back in. That ten percent you’ve been giving me for being your admin is not enough. In order for my business to survive, I have to make some money other ways.”
Thorne was hesitant, but he knew as well as I did that there was only one way out. “Okay, London.”
23
While the first year of running Unleashed was a struggle, after five years as a call girl business, it was my best one yet. Thorne would only hook me up with longtime clients and many of them were charming and respectable. Several were out of town. They were always the easy ones, just men who were away from their wives looking for a little something different while on vacation.
Clyde was glad that I’d gotten back into the business. Thorne told me he’d been asking about me since the Mexico trip. Once I was back in the game, Clyde and I went on three different diving vacations together. I don’t know what it was about Clyde but each time I was with him, I returned home feeling like I wanted a relationship. And it was weird because although we vacationed together like long-lost lovers, once it was over I didn’t hear from him until he either wanted to hook up or go away to dive.
Thorne called just as I was packing for my Australian vacation with Clyde. Maybe it was because Clyde was single, but I sensed a bit of jealousy whenever I went on vacation with him. Thorne asked, “Do you need a ride to the airport?”
“Thorne, you know I always get a car service.”
He laughed. “Yeah, but I’m sitting here in my office, thinking about you and—”
“And you want to come see me before I leave.”
I never knew if he did this with everyone, but after I became his assistant it seemed like our relationship went from warm to hot. When we were together I felt like it was just the two of us. It seemed like we had so much in common and that if I hadn’t accepted his proposal, we might have found ourselves in a relationship from the start. I went back and forth in my mind with those thoughts each time he knocked at my door. Shortly after I hung up he rang the bell.
I’d barely stepped out of my clothes from walking the dogs. Bruno barked and looked at the door like, Who the hell is it? I laughed as I softly kicked him away from the door. Thorne walked in and Bruno jumped on him. He always pushed Bruno off like he was a damn nuisance. I didn’t like how he did that, but I guess Bruno was a bit overbearing.
“Move, Bruno,” I said as I kissed Thorne.
He held me tightly. “My favorite girl.”
“Don’t make me blush.”
Men love to believe that we don’t know when they’re bullshitting us. He hugged me again. “You’re definitely my favorite girl.”
“And you’re my favorite.”
He tilted his head to the side and smirked.
“You are,” I said, laughing.
“And it’s snowing in California.”
“Is it really?”
“London, you’re funny.”
He walked over to my couch and sat down. I sat beside him, tucking my right foot under me as I faced him. I placed my hands on his thigh. Referring to the small Saks bag he was carrying, I asked, “Is that for me?”
He shook his head no. I assumed he thought I would be disappointed. Instead I grabbed the remote and turned the television on. I continued to massage his thigh with one hand. He looked at me and said, “You’re special. You know that?”
“No, tell me why.”
He leaned over for a kiss. “You’re just one of a kind.” He reached for the bag. “Of course this is for you.”
“Thank you. What did I do to deserve this?”
“You make me a lot of money.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bag. “So this is like a bonus, huh?”
“No, it’s a gift from me to you.”
I pulled the box from the bag. He’d bought me a pair of Gucci sunglasses.
“I know how much you like your sunshades. I certainly couldn’t send my favorite girl to Australia without new shades.”
Certainly he knew me well enough to know that I’d purchased multiple pairs of shades for my trip. He continued, “That would make me look bad.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I want you looking like a million bucks when you’re out with clients. That gets me more clients.”
It was times when he talked like that that I felt like a piece of meat, but deep down I knew that Thorne had purchased those glasses because he wanted to get me a gift. Whenever he bought something for me he rationalized his purchase. I used to get offended when he explained his purchases; now I just accepted them. It was clear that he thought about me more often than not.
I straddled him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Are you sure that’s the only reason?”
He smiled, but didn’t respond. I gyrated on him. “I was on your mind, right?”
He nodded.
“I never leave your mind, do I?”
“No, London.” He spoke in a slightly stern manner.
“It’s okay,” I said, as I leaned my forehead on his. We began to kiss passionately for what seemed like forever. He held me tightly and for a moment it felt like we were both caught up, as if he never wanted to let me go. A part of me didn’t want him to. He was the one constant in my life and
despite everything I knew he was there. As we clung to each other in the heat of passion, I wondered what he was thinking. I hoped that we’d always be this close. Suddenly, like he’d been struck by lightning, he stopped. His arms relaxed and his lips retreated. He’d never done this before. I looked at him and touched his face. “Are you okay, Thorne?”
“You know it’s against the rules to fall for one of your clients.”
“But you’re not a client.”
He looked into my eyes. “Don’t fall for me, either.”
I climbed off him and sat back on the couch. “What are you talking about? I never said I was falling for you.”
“You wouldn’t say it if you were. But I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about Clyde.”
I laughed. “Thorne, c’mon now. What makes you think I’m falling for Clyde?”
“It just seems like every time you’re about to go away with him, you get this look of euphoria. I just can’t explain it.”
“Did you ever think that I love the places he takes me?”
“But other men have taken you on trips.”
“Most men take me to regular commercial places. Clyde, he picks eclectic vacations. And I just love it.”
“If you fall for a client, you know I’ll fire you.”
I didn’t speak immediately. I couldn’t believe the one man, if any, I loved was sitting there threatening to fire me for no reason. If I did fall for Clyde and the feeling was mutual, damn if I’d need to work for him again. It was like he heard my thoughts.
“It never works out. He’ll never see you as a serious prospect because of the way you met. That’s why I have to constantly warn y’all not to lose focus. If you’re going to have a relationship, he can’t know you from this profession.”
As often as I’d heard that and as much as I knew it to be true, it hurt hearing it like this. Why had he even come over to ruin my high? I wanted him to leave. I stood up. I was livid. “Thorne, I don’t need you to keep reminding me of this. I know. I know they will always see me as a call girl. I know you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. I know all of these things, so why in the hell do you feel the need to keep reminding me? You recruited me into this profession. You told me how wonderful it was. Now all I hear is that I’ll never be with anyone seriously.”