by Olivia Myers
Jane had heard of the Blockstone family, of course; they had formidable wealth and political influence. Everyone wanted to be invited to the Blockstone estate for it was the highest social honor one could hope for. But aside from a brief glance at Mrs. Blockstone in her carriage once, Jane had never met any of that family.
As Roderick’s parents were engaged in dull conversation with the Mitchells, his attention started to wander. His eyes spanned the crowd and stopped on a lovely girl he hadn’t seen before. Her dark hair with delicate curls showed off her lovely pale face. He couldn’t help but notice her rosy cheeks and full pink lips. She had a delicate frame and a smile that made his heart soar.
Jane locked eyes with Roderick, and for a brief moment, neither one of them could look away. Jane quickly looked down and bit her lip as she felt her face flushing. Emeline noticed right away that Jane had suddenly gone quiet and still. It didn’t take her long to figure out who had caught her little sister’s fancy.
She took Jane aside so their mother couldn’t hear her, and Emeline whispered, “That is Roderick Blockstone. He comes to these events all the time, and every girl fawns over him. Although, I suppose that will end soon.”
Jane looked up at Emeline, confused. “What do you mean?”
Emeline explained, “Roderick is going to university soon to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a member of Parliament. I doubt he will have much time for frivolous social activities.”
Jane frowned at this terrible news, but Emeline nudged her little sister saying, “So, you better introduce yourself tonight.”
“But, I can’t just walk up to him and introduce myself!”
“No, I suppose you’re right. Ah! I have an idea.”
Emeline set down her glass of champagne and took her little sister’s hand, guiding Jane to Uncle Louis. Emeline politely kissed her uncle on both cheeks and started conversing with him about his horses. Uncle Louis told Emeline that he had been learning about horse breeding from Mr. Blockstone to which Emeline responded, “I don’t think that Jane has had the pleasure of meeting the Blockstones. Do you think that you could introduce her to them?”
Jane’s heart had gone up to her throat, and she wasn’t sure her legs would move. Emeline once again squeezed Jane’s hand in delight as their uncle turned around to interrupt Aunt Lily’s undoubtedly dull conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Blockstone.
“Excuse me, darling,” Uncle Louis politely said to his wife. “I don’t believe our lovely niece, Jane, has been properly introduced to the Blockstones. Jane, this is Mr. Charles Blockstone and his lovely wife, Gwendolyn.”
Jane curtsied as she was being introduced. Mr. Blockstone nearly bumped into his son as he was turning to introduce him. “Jane, this is our son, Roderick. Roderick, this is Jane Cromwell, the youngest daughter of Rupert and Beatrice Cromwell.” Jane thought she saw Roderick blush as they were being introduced, but it was hard to tell anything from his unreadable expression. As Jane’s uncle resumed conversation with the Blockstones, she kept glancing at Roderick, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was glancing at her as well.
Then, Jane noticed Roderick looking downward as he smiled and even chuckled a little to himself. She looked inquisitively at him and immediately felt embarrassed because she was sure he was laughing at her. Just as Jane was about to turn away, Roderick offered his hand to her and asked her if she would dance with him.
In her astonishment, all Jane could do was nod. With her hand in his, she was surprised her legs still knew how to work as they approached the dance floor. She glanced back at Emeline who was grinning ear-to-ear. Jane turned to face Roderick and gently placed her left hand on his shoulder and her right hand in his. They started to waltz and his sturdy frame and gentle eyes guided her effortlessly across the dance floor.
Roderick was even more enchanted as Jane’s delicate body glided effortlessly around the floor. It seemed as if both of them were floating on a cloud.
To the dismay of the other girls at the ball, Roderick danced with Jane for the rest of the night. When they had to part, Jane again curtsied and thanked Roderick for a wonderful night. Jane’s sisters could not hold in their excitement. Before even exiting Aunt Lily’s house, they were all giggling and squealing with what had transpired.
Roderick went to stand by his mother, who coolly commented on the evening. Gwendolyn was never good at masking her disdain for the women who openly fawned over Roderick, but tonight, Roderick didn’t care. His heart was soaring. He sighed, and as his mother turned her head toward him, he said, “Mother, I am going to ask that girl to marry me.”
***
That night kept playing in Roderick’s head until the funeral. He couldn’t stand to even look at his newborn baby. The pain was too great. He just wanted to hold his sweet wife again. How was he supposed to raise a child on his own? And a girl nonetheless! How could he be a good father without Jane’s guidance?
***
Seven years had passed since the night Ann’s mother had died. Ann had grown into an adventurous little girl who looked exactly like her mother. Same silky brown hair, same smile, same twinkle in her eyes. But she acted nothing like what Roderick remembered of Jane. Jane was always very sweet, docile, and lady-like, and as much as Roderick told Ann to stop acting so foolishly, Ann had a wildness that wouldn’t be tamed.
Every time he saw his wife’s likeness in his daughter’s face, Roderick felt a stirring in his soul, almost as if Jane’s spirit were there, trying to give him a sense of peace and love. But when this happened, Roderick shoved aside any feelings of comfort. At the first sense of peace he felt, he’d wrap himself up in his work.
Ann would run down the halls, slide down the banister of her staircase and constantly tease and play tricks on the housemaid, Neala. When Ann was younger, she couldn’t pronounce Neala, so she started calling her Nana instead. And even though Neala was just supposed to be the housemaid, she took care of Ann, raising Ann as if she were her own child. Neala found herself yelling more and more after Ann as she grew older and more rambunctious. “Ann stop! Your father would be furious!” But she and Ann both knew that she didn’t really mind; Neala was always happiest when Ann was happy.
Most days, Ann played by herself in the early morning. When she would get bored, she followed Neala, occasionally helping but mostly bothering Neala as she cleaned. By midmorning, Ann would drop whatever she was doing and race out to the stables where Henry would be finishing with his morning chores. Henry was two years older than Ann, but they were still the best of friends. Henry’s father, George Stewart, worked for Mr. Blockstone in the stable house, and Henry would help his father feed the horses and clean the stables every morning. Henry was supposed to learn these skills so that one day he could be a stableman, too.
Sometimes Ann spied on Henry working alongside his dad. She wanted to help feed and groom the horses, but she wasn’t allowed to be in the stables because it was too dangerous for a little girl. Instead of going in, she’d pace back and forth in front of the stable door. George would watch Ann impatiently waiting for Henry and grin to himself. He would even loudly tell Henry that there was so much work that he might not be able to go play. Then, he’d glance over at Ann who would have stopped in her tracks at hearing this. George would laugh and send Henry out to play, and Ann would put her hands on her hips and stomp her little foot on the ground to show her indignation at Mr. Stewart’s joke. But that indignation didn’t last long because Ann and Henry were out of there in a hurry, as if the sun would set in mere minutes.
When Henry and Ann got together they would always go on adventures. Sometimes they went down to the river and pretended to be pirates looking for buried treasure, or other times they sneaked into the woods and acted like monkeys climbing trees. And every time Ann got home, Neala would tell her to quickly change out of her clothes and wash her face before her father got home. Neala didn’t want to upset Mr. Blockstone again by letting Ann play outside so much.
But Ann would
invariably get cuts and scrapes, which Roderick always noticed. He’d yell at Neala for once again allowing Ann to play outdoors. “Neala, you’re letting the girl run wild!”
He also didn’t like the influence the stable boy was having on his daughter, so he kept encouraging Ann to stay inside and sew or draw or anything that would keep her indoors. He bought her drawing papers and pencils. “Draw me a picture, Ann,” he’d suggest. “Can you embroider something?”
Roderick tried getting Ann to read with him in the evenings, even telling her that he would read to her, but she would always get restless. She would stare off into the fire or start fiddling with the rug. She would get up and blow out a candle and relight it just to blow it out again.
“Forget it, Ann. Just go to bed.”
Ann happily complied.
On Ann’s tenth birthday, however, her father decided that it was time to hire an in-home teacher. Roderick didn’t send her to school because he preferred that Ann stay in the safety of their home. He paid for a private tutor for Ann so that she could start learning to read, write, speak Latin and play the piano.
At first, Ann agreed to these lessons, but she didn’t realize how bored she would be. Her tutor, Miss Barnum, was nice enough, but she wasn’t entertaining. She was quite strict and didn’t tolerate any nonsense or fantasy. Every time Ann tried to tell Miss Barnum about the adventures she and her friend Henry had together, Miss Barnum would tell her that little girls shouldn’t engage in such play.
Along with the subjects Miss Barnum taught, Roderick also hired her to teach Ann etiquette and poise. Miss Barnum would start the day off by greeting Ann properly.
“Good morning, Ann.”
And if Ann replied with anything other than, “Good morning, Miss Barnum,” she would be reprimanded and instructed to write phrases such as, “I will always greet my elders properly,” twenty times in cursive before Miss Barnum would begin their actual lessons.
The first part of their morning was spent reading and writing. At noon, they would have some tea with their lunch. Miss Barnum would instruct Ann on how to pour and sip tea like a young lady. During lunch, Miss Barnum consistently admonished Ann for her terrible posture while educating Ann on the types of conversations that were appropriate for young ladies to have over tea.
Ann, of course, got bored with their dull conversations very quickly, so her imagination would drift off to what she and Henry would do later in the day. She imagined that she and Henry would go into the woods and find some wild berries to eat. Then she would laugh at Henry as he stuffed handfuls of berries so carelessly into his face that berry juice dripped down his chin. Henry would act like he was mad and throw a few berries at her, which she would try to catch in her mouth. And then they’d get in a berry fight and run through the woods until they were out of breath. They would sit down for a few minutes to eat more berries and then start all over again.
“Ann...Ann...Ann!!!” Miss Barnum would have to raise her voice for Ann to awaken from her reverie, and then she would clear her throat and straighten her dress as if yelling had wrinkled her clothing and horribly strained her voice. Ann rolled her eyes every time Miss Barnum did this, which with Ann’s short attention span was quite often.
After lunch, Ann practiced her Latin for an hour and a half, and then she had an hour of piano. She didn’t mind playing the piano; it was much more fun that learning Latin. But because piano was the last lesson of the day, Ann was always fidgety, anxious to go outside and play. Throughout the entire lesson, Miss Barnum would instruct Ann to sit still until finally the lesson was over. Ann would violently push the piano bench back as she ran outside to play with Henry.
Miss Barnum would call after her saying that she was supposed to say, “Thank you Miss Barnum and good afternoon,” which Ann yelled down the corridor as she continued to slide down the banister and dash outside.
This went on for nearly a few years. Miss Barnum had every confidence that she would train Ann to become a proper young lady, that she would be able to tame Ann’s wildness. By the time she was fourteen, Ann was speaking and writing beyond her age level, and her Latin was impeccable, yet there hadn’t been very much improvement in Ann’s demeanor. Ann’s etiquette and patience with Miss Barnum had improved, but every day that propriety ended as soon as her lessons did.
After much thought, Miss Barnum finally decided to discuss Ann’s progress with Roderick. Since Jane’s death, Roderick had become a cantankerous man, one whom no one wanted to displease. Miss Barnum asked Neala if she could speak to Mr. Blockstone about Ann, so Neala directed Miss Barnum to the parlor to have a seat while she fetched him.
Neala knocked on Roderick’s study door, and he gruffly bid her to come in.
“Miss Barnum would like to speak with you. I have her sitting in the parlor.”
“I am busy,” Roderick replied without even turning to face Neala.
“She seems very concerned. I think you should talk to Miss Barnum.”
Roderick groaned and mumbled some things under his breath as he pushed out his chair to stand. As he walked out of the room, Neala looked down at her toes to avoid eye contact with him.
Miss Barnum stood as Mr. Blockstone entered the room.
“Hello, Mr. Blockstone. Thank you for coming down to see me.” She reached her hand out to him, but Roderick just sat down in his chaise.
Miss Barnum cleared her throat and adjusted her skirt as Mr. Blockstone eyed her curious behavior.
“Well, I’ll just get right to it. Ann is doing very well in school, and her piano play…”
“You dragged me out of my office to tell me that Ann is doing well with her lessons?” Mr. Blockstone interrupted.
“No, of course not. I mean, Ann is doing very well with her lessons. But, I am concerned that she is not progressing behaviorally as much as I’d like.”
“What do you mean? Is she being disrespectful?” Mr. Blockstone leaned forward showing his growing concern.
“That’s not it. Ann is very respectful to me, but I don’t see that progress outside of our lessons. She is always very anxious to go outside and play with Henry…”
“Henry? Who is Henry?” Mr. Blockstone interrupted again.
“Henry. Her friend. He works with his dad in your stables.”
“Oh. The stable boy. Yes, I am aware of him. So, you think that he is having a negative impact on Ann’s development as a proper young lady; is that correct?”
“Well, I think Henry is a fine boy, but I think Ann would benefit from less time with Henry and more time with family, especially other females. He is a boy, after all, and she is a girl. I’m not saying they’re doing anything inappropriate, but—”
“I see. Thank you for your input, Miss…”
Realizing Mr. Blockstone didn’t remember her name, she said somewhat acrimoniously, “Miss Barnum. And, I thought we could talk about ways to help Ann…”
“Right, Miss Barnum. Well, thank you again for your time. That will be all.”
Mr. Blockstone stood and nodded his head to Miss Barnum, and as she curtsied he briskly walked out of the parlor.
Miss Barnum was stunned at the brusque interaction she had just had with Mr. Blockstone. She had known that he wasn’t the friendliest person, but she had no idea how uninvolved he was with his daughter.
Roderick slowly walked up the stairs toward his study, but as he passed by one of the hallway windows, he caught a glimpse of Ann and Henry chasing each other in the yard. He was very concerned about his precious Ann, but he had never known how to properly raise a little girl. He missed Jane more than ever. As tears welled in his eyes, Roderick bent his head back and asked Jane for her guidance. “Jane, my beloved, please show me a sign. Show me how to raise our daughter. Help me know how to help our little Ann.”
Roderick looked back down toward Ann who was hugging her friend before returning home for the evening. He couldn’t help but let a few tears fall as he felt he was letting Jane down by not raising Ann properly.
He felt something soft, a quiet presence behind him, but when he looked, the room was empty.
Roderick stayed home from work the following day because he wanted to talk to Ann about her lessons and what else she might want to learn. He was secretly hoping to discuss her friendship with Henry, but as soon as her lessons had ended, Ann was nowhere to be found. He searched for her all over the house and all over the grounds, and he couldn’t find her. He paced around the house waiting for Ann to return. Finally as the sun was beginning to set, Ann and Henry trudged up to the house completely covered in mud. Ann was carrying her shoes, and her dress was ripped at the bottom.
When Ann saw her father waiting for her, she ran up to him with such delight that he was actually in front of her and not just in his study. She started telling her father of the fun she and Henry just had playing in a mud pile. Henry stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking timidly up toward the house at Mr. Blockstone. Without saying a word, Roderick grabbed Ann’s arm and dragged her into the house.
Roderick sat his daughter down in his study and turned his back to her. He stared out the window at Jane’s garden. Ann tried to speak, but her father just raised his hand to silence her. He turned around and spoke quietly at first.
“You are too old for this behavior.”
“I don’t understand, Father.”
Ignoring the slight pressure between his shoulder blades, Roderick said, “Ann, you must never see that boy again.”
“What?”
Roderick raised his voice, “I said, you must never see that stable boy again!”
“What? Why father? Why? What did I do wrong?” Ann’s chin started to quiver and she started to sob uncontrollably.
Roderick tried to speak over Ann’s crying, “It’s inappropriate. Ann, that boy is not good for you. He distracts you and encourages you to do things little girls shouldn’t do…” His voice trailed off. Roderick didn’t know what else he could say.