by Vince Stark
She whispered not opening her eyes.
I laughed and said good bye, I fired up my bike and headed toward the office. I was a little early which was great, I would have time to stop for a coffee at my favorite spot. I really was feeling good, I wondered if plumbs were a cure for hangovers?
Lili and Oli was the name of this coffee shop. Italian style coffee, nothing fancy, I stopped in often enough that they knew what I wanted. My laptop was tucked into my saddle bag on the side of my bike, I grabbed it and headed in. I wasn’t planning on doing any work with my computer, I had a past time of looking at real-estate around my house to try to get a sense of how much I could if I sold mine. Then I would look at Home Hardware sites and plan what I would do with the cottage when I moved there. This has been a past time for years but lately it felt like I was formulating a plan more than merely dreaming. I have noticed that if you think about something enough it is bound to end up happening.
“Jack”
I was greeted by content looking young man behind the counter. I set up my laptop while he made my Americano. He handed me the hot coffee in a clear glass and motioned to the television in the corner where a soccer game was displayed. Mostly everyone there was staring at the screen and involved in the game.
“They might not make this one” said the Barista
I had no idea what he was talking about but I felt a generic response was in order.
“They can come back”
Mr. Barista patted me on the shoulder and returned to his work. There is something about that first cup of coffee in the morning, so damn good. I had almost an hour to kill here, I told myself that I would get in the habit of waking up earlier and spending some time here before work but I knew I was lying to myself. I went to a website that sells parts for old Vincent motorcycles and started rifling through. That project bike in my garage has not had much attention. That is what I would do, there was a small garage at the cottage and I could spend my days working on these old bikes. I could bring old sweeties back to life and sell them online.
“You are wearing the same cloths as yesterday”
I looked up to see Heather, she turned my laptop around to see what I was doing. She had an extremely intrusive way about her. Heather sat in front of me at the little two-seater table.
“Are you getting carried away with all this” she questioned.
“Carried away?”
“Let me guess, Jack, you think you are helping this innocent girl explore her sexuality” Heather spoke with a condescending tone.
“Innocent?”
There was a long silence, Heather chimed in.
“What did you do last night?”
“We watched old movies, she actually has a V.H.S player”
“You think you love her don’t you?”
“What are you the fucking thought police, maybe you can lay off this whole thing”
“Just stop thinking you’re doing this girl a favor, it’s all about you, and you’re doing her more harm than good, I saw you take her upstairs, I know you were drinking Swell. Maybe you should lay off the girl Jack”
Again silence. It was morning and this argument required small breaks of drinking coffee and yawns. Heather is the only person in my life I allow to speak to me like this. It’s funny how early in relationships people fall into positions and stay there for the balance of the relationship. The devil’s advocate comes to mind when it come to me and Heather, it goes both ways. On the surface it would seem like we have no respect for one another but that really is not the case. Heather looks out for me and I her, she knows me quite well at this point. She is often extremely annoying and intrusive, and rarely has kind words. But early on this how we decided this is how this relationship is going to work, in a way it does work.
“I don’t get you Willow” Heather continued to be shitty, motioning at my I-pad. This was her way of respectively changing the subject.
“What is it about you loving everything old, V.H.S tapes, old bikes, Old books, old movies, old guitar amps, do you think this makes you more interesting or something?”
“A cheap motel” I answered looking vacantly away from her.
“what?”
I drank what was left of my coffee and looked up at the soccer game.
“Depends on what we are talking about, you covered a lot of ground in your little rant, bikes, movies, books, guitar amps. Everything is most exciting in its inception. You mentioned old movies, there is no question that Blue Ray is better, it is not about that. Look at the actors, the stars of each era. They were considerably more interesting the further you go back. More exaterated, seemingly more dedicated. Today all the magic is gone, these movie stars have to be more common than a commoner, and they have become just a prop in a sea of special effects in there movies. I preferred it when, rather than an explosion, a close-up of the leading lady’s face was the climax of the scene. Old bikes, old cars, old music equipment, it’s all the same. The fact that they are still here is the whole point. There is virtually nothing built today that is intended to last, they are meant to biodegrade, disappear and make way for new fashions. There was a time when something was build, it was meant to last as long as possible, there was no concept that whatever was being conceived was to be disposable. These cars, bikes, guitars, movies, and everything else were meant to last forever. The people creating them were completely dedicated to what they were doing and almost never became rich from it. You can feel it from the materials they used, the lines of the design. Everything is best the first time around”
“You know what Willow, I see you looking at this shit all the time on your iPad, you know what’s more impressive than any of the stuff you look up . . . Your fucking iPad”
“My iPad is disposable, and will without question be replaced by something else before long”
“You’re constantly looking at old junk, that’s what I see. And there are more impressive actors and musicians today then there ever were”
I ran my hand through my hair and shifted gears in my mind, Heather could debate all day if I let her.
“So, what kind of day are we looking at”
“Nothing too heavy today, but it will be busy.”
Heather stood up and put on her jacket, she exposed the skin on her stomach when she raised her arms. Heather was in good shape, she was strong in many ways. Brad say’s she is ‘bitch hot’ I agree with the first part.
“Don’t be late” Heather gave me a wink and headed off.
The rest of the week was fairly effortless, I guess I did as little as possible. I went to work and glided through the day, went home and messed around in the garage to a radio show I like. There is an old timey radio show I like to listen to at 8pm Thursday nights, this DJ tells the story of every tune before he plays it, a really great story teller. He gets deeply involved in the back story and with what was happening when the song was being recorded. Listen for the moment at the end of the song when the drummer throws down his sticks in frustration, or the when the singer accidently starts the second verse early in “Louie Louie.” He builds his stories so well that by the time the song begins you feel like you are right there with the band, feeling what they felt.
I didn’t contact Leah. I tried to stop thinking about her but wasn’t having much luck. I felt like I was getting carried away and was trying to cool off. I was obsessing and I knew it. Her skin, her hair, her smell, there was something about her that made me want to hold her down and penetrate her. I thought about it all the time. I wasn’t sure I was capable of love so I dismissed this as an obsession. The truth was I was becoming obsessed with Leah.
This relationship, I felt had become more of an understanding. There is something we both needed and we were giving each other just that. That is why I don’t know her last name and haven’t tried to find out, that is why Leah has no idea what I do for a living and hasn’t pressed the issue. There is an element of anonymity between us even though we were becoming close, we allowing each other t
o be who we needed to be. Leah was discovering herself sexually, pushing herself, acting out fantasies. She has always been sweet and innocent and needs to explore other sides of who she is.
What was I getting out of this?
What is it I needed?
I really am unsure, I have always been better at reading other people rather than myself. That may explain my profession.
I wondered if I would ever contact her if she didn’t contact me? Perhaps not. Some people might call this a fear of intimacy; I might tell some people to fuck off.
It was well into Friday evening, I was hanging out with Brad and Gregg at the rehearsal space, thankfully it was just the three of us. We smoked cigars and drank whisky, passed around my new guitar, and shared some laughs. The boys left before I did and I was left alone. It was a strange place to be alone. There was no music, just the gentle sound of the city in the distance. I sat on the Victorian sofa finishing my Monty Cristo #5. I thought about her, I knew we made plans to meet Saturday but I wanted her to send me a message of some kind to let me know that she was still into it. I began to question things more, maybe Heather was right, maybe I should lay off. As much as Heather frustrated me she was often right. I am not in love, I thought to myself. I repeated the thought a few times to try to make it sink in.
I must confess I have never been in that room. I know Madeline controls most of what goes on there, I know it is not cheap, and I know you are not alone in that room. There tends to be lots going on, I have seen people leave that room looking beat up. They never hang around, they walk straight out the door as fast as they can. No, I never felt the need to go to that room, this would be a first for both of us. I was beginning to question the whole idea, I didn’t want to share Leah and I feared that was the whole idea of that room.
My phone vibrated on the glass table, I let the smoke fall out of my mouth then reached down to see it was a message from Leah.
“Let’s meet at the bar at midnight tomorrow ok”
I put the phone back on the table, I thought for a moment. If I didn’t do this with Leah and we began a relationship, I would ‘end up being someone in her life that holds her back from her deep sexual fantasies. She would always see me that way. I am sure we could be happy, there would be home cooked meals and a fire burning in the wood stove but something would be missing. I didn’t want to be that to her, I wanted to be someone she could let go with. I scrolled through my contacts and found Madeline.
“Can you take care of me and my new flame, tomorrow at midnight, your special room”
I was surprised how fast she responded.
“Jack?”
“yes, Jack willow”
“Safe word is ALASKA, don’t be late”
I messaged Leah telling her I would see her there. I poured more whiskey in my glass and drank it swiftly. It seems this had to happen, hopefully Leah gets what she is looking for.
I plugged in my guitar and played my heart out until I was too tired to carry on. It wasn’t my plan but as it happened I spent the night there. I lied down on the couch and fell into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter Eleven
“Oh Jack, I wanted to tell you about the neighborhood watch meeting coming up”
Margery was crossing the street and talking loudly as I took off my helmet. It was Saturday morning and I was hung over. I was never really in the mood to talk to Margery, this morning was no exception.
“I am sure you have everything under control Margery”
I wished Margery a good day and headed inside. I swung the screen door open and it almost came off it’s hinges. I really needed to either fix it or buy a new one, it was driving me crazy. I made my way to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee and made a decent breakfast for myself. While the eggs and bacon were sizzling I put on some Muddy Waters in an effort to change my mood.
The food, coffee, and music helped. I was leveling out. I was overthinking this whole thing. What it came down to was I was worried my relationship with Leah would be damaged by whatever happened tonight. The fact was, I knew I had very little control over this situation and I might as well try to have some fun. One of my favorite songs came on so I turned it up, it’s called Man by Muddy Waters. I poured more coffee into my cup and nestled into my couch with my iPad.
I really knew very little about S&M, so I Googled it. As the song played out I flipped through pictures. One by one I flipped through, black leather and latex covered women tied up in dungeons. Whips, chains, masks, gags, and restraints. I never have given this much thought but I felt my cock getting hard as I flipped through these pictures. I put my head back and fell asleep with my iPad on my chest. Napping after breakfast it the best.
I took my time getting ready that evening, I spent the day napping and reading so I was ready to get a move on. I was all set to go, but I took a moment to gather my thoughts. I splashed my face with water a few times and looked at myself in the mirror.
“Alaska” I said to myself.
I drove my bike over the Mercier Bridge and took in the view of the city. The glow of the city lights reflected through the smoke and steam to create an eerie atmosphere. I drove into mist and steam of Bonneville and left a part of me on the other side of the river.
I parked my bike in the usual spot by the theater and walked the rest of the way. I was wide awake, my heart was racing faster as I got closer to Madeline’s. I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I hoped I wouldn’t be seen going into that room. I was scared and aroused at the same time, this was wrong and I knew it. This whole thing was wrong and I loved it.
I hit the door hard three times with the side of my fist. It wasn’t Rex but another familiar face that opened it. He must have known me better then I him because he ushered me in without question. It was nearing midnight and I felt more sinister than I have ever felt before. I looked up at the balcony and could see the door was closed, that meant it was taken, it was taken by me, adrenaline coursed through me. It was time for a drink, it was time to see Leah.
I ordered a triple Jameson on the rocks, Leah was nowhere to be seen. A tap on my shoulder summoned me to turn around. Heather.
Heather was wearing her usual mask, her eyes were fixed on me, we respected one another’s space here and rarely spoke to each other. I could tell something was up, I drank most of what was in my glass and stared back at Heather waiting for her to speak. She leaned in close to my ear.
“She has been here for an hour drinking Swell” Heather motioned toward the second floor balcony, “She is up there, I will mind my own business I just thought you should know”
And with that she walked away. I was worried Leah might get into the Swell again, and what is she doing up there without me. I contemplated this while I finished my Jameson. I made a quick decision to play catch-up. If she was on Swell I would be too. I motioned for the bartender, I asked for it to be as strong as possible. I was surprised that he gave me a small glass not much larger than a shot glass, I leaned in to ask for a bigger one but he insisted that the small glass in front of me was far stronger then what I was used to. I trusted he knew what he was doing and shot it back in one swoop. It burned something fierce, it tasted like a chemical soup and took my breath away after I swallowed. There was a band playing Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin, I couldn’t ask for a better song for the moment I thought. I stood up from the bar stool and felt it begin, my heart slowed as I was overwhelmed with self-confidence. I felt strong, I felt love, I made my way upstairs.
I tried to open the door but it was locked, I gave two solid knocks with the side of my fist on the metal door. I stood there and waited but nothing happened, again I knocked and waited. A metal on metal screech came from a small sliding door at eye level exposing a shadowed face. I leaned in to try to see who it was when the little metal door snapped shut. I looked around to see if I was being watched, thankfully I wasn’t.
There I stool, waiting for the door to open. The door did not open, rather a loud clank that suggested it
was unlocked. I cracked open the door and stepped inside. The heavy door closed behind me and made a thud echoing around in the room.
The room was so dark I couldn’t get a sense of how big it was. A narrow spot light split the room, there Leah was, in the focal point of the room in the narrow stream of light. My heart sank, she looked scared and hurt. I looked into her scared eyes, her hair was pulled back tight again, her mouth was gagged and she was restrained with a network of ropes that seemed to lead to pulleys on the ceiling. Anything outside of the narrow stream of light was nearly impossible to see.
Leah wore long tight black latex boots that that looked like high heals, fishnet stocking made there way half way up her thigh. The rest of her clothing were an array of latex straps and a black studded collar around her neck, a small chain was attached to the collar. The gag was a black strap not unlike the straps wrapped around her body. Her arms were tight behind her back, she was leaning slightly forward at the mercy of the ropes. Leah was restrained in everyway possible, her chest rose and fell with deep breaths.
“Well, well, well, Jack Willow.”
The voice came from the darkness and echoed around the room making it hard to place it’s location. Heavy authoritative steps came closer and Madeline appeared out of the darkness. She was an average height women but she was wearing black boots with an extreme heel that made her look extremely tall. Her black boots and her outfit seemed to be one piece of skin tight black shiny latex, from the bottom of her feet to just above her breast. She wore black leather gloves that stretched to her elbows, around her neck was a necklace with two vials. Madeline was a striking women even without this attire. Her face was beautiful, her pale skin was in contrast to per jet black hair and her lips were always painted blood red. Her bangs were cut short in a severe line across her forehead while the rest of her black hair was medium length. Her mouth showed what she was feeling but her green eyes kept her secrets.
“It looks like your little girlfriend likes to play”
Madeline walked closer to me, my attention went back and forth from Madeline to Leah. Madeline’s steps were solid and deliberate, like she was very slowly marching toward me hitting her feet on the ground hard. She stood before me, holding a whip on either end with both hands. She took one end of the whip and grazed the contours of my erection.