If I wasn't so disappointed at the lost opportunity, I would've loved the way his voice was a little shaky. It was good to know that I wasn't the only one being affected. I somehow managed to miraculously keep my own voice steady as I answered him. “Let's put that one up there.” I pointed without really thinking. I could always move it later if I didn't like how it looked, though I knew I wouldn't. This wasn't about the house being perfectly decorated with everything balanced and exactly where it would illuminate whatever theme I was trying to convey. This was about the time spent together, even if we never became anything more than friends.
For nearly two hours, Elias and I strung up all of the decorations I'd kept. Every so often, I'd comment about one of the decorations, but for the most part, the only sound was the music playing in the background, though, more than once, I thought I heard Elias humming along. It was nice, seeing him relaxed, his demeanor natural and fluid rather than stiff and stand-offish. There were a few times I thought I'd caught him looking at me, only to turn and find that he wasn't where I'd thought I'd sensed him. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was watching me the entire time.
By the time we finished, I was exhausted. I'd barely slept the night before and it was nearly midnight. I'd been running on fumes way too often over the past month, and recent incidents hadn't helped matters much. I knew I should tell Elias that I was ready to call it a night, but I wasn't ready to let him go. I felt safer with him here, even if he wasn't in full bodyguard mode.
I plopped down on the couch in front of my big screen television and stared at the little designs that swirled as the music played. For the first time in a while, my brain was blissfully blank. I gave a contended sigh. Things were nearly perfect.
Elias sat next to me, mere inches between us. My brain perked up, though a fully coherent thought was still not happening. I could feel the heat radiating between us, and I knew that if I turned now, touched him, drew him towards me, that would be it. His resolve was strong, but I knew I could break it if I really wanted to. And I did want to. Very much so. It had been a while since I'd had anyone in my bed, and the fact that I felt this strong attraction to him on so many levels just made it harder for me not to make the first move. There was something holding him back.
“'Under the moonlit sky / I wait, I watch, I lie.”
I turned my head towards Elias as he spoke in a soft, sing-song voice, the rhythm telling me that he was quoting something I didn't recognize. He didn't look at me, keeping his eyes fixed at some invisible point ahead of him.
“'The grass soft beneath me / The stars bright above / Time has stilled / The future unrevealed / All is right with me.'” He turned his head so that we were looking into each other's eyes. “'Then I see you / Under the moonlit sky / I wait, I watch, I lie / You are the moon / The stars / All the future holds / If you are here then / All is right with me.'”
“That's beautiful,” I smiled at him, but I could feel that it was a sleepy sort of smile. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.
“A man I once knew wrote it for the woman he loved,” Elias said.
“That's nice,” I murmured. My blinks were getting longer and longer as I fought against sleep.
“You need to go to bed.” He sounded amused.
“Nope.” I tried to shake my head but it only bobbled. “Don't wanna.”
I didn't see him get up because my eyes were refusing to cooperate with the commands I was giving them. Stupid eyes. I felt Elias's arms around me, and a gentle rocking motion. He was carrying me. I knew I should protest, tell him to put me down and I would walk. He didn't need to carry me like a child... or a drunken prom date. I wasn't either. The two glasses of wine I'd had throughout the entire night had barely made me fuzzy.
Then I felt my bed beneath me and my eyes managed to open just a crack. It was enough to watch as Elias pulled off my boots and set them aside. He looked at me and I could see the debate on his face. After a minute, he removed my socks, then maneuvered me under the sheets. He leaned over me as he tucked the blanket around me, his fingers brushing against my cheek.
“Don't go,” I said. “I'm safe when you're here.”
An expression my sleep-addled mind couldn't read crossed his face. “Very well,” he whispered. “I will stay and keep you safe.”
They could have just been words, but I never doubted them. He wouldn't promise me that and then not do it. I could trust him.
He sat on the edge of the bed and, as my eyes closed again, he began to speak. “Shall I tell you a story while you go to sleep?” His hand brushed over my hair. “Perhaps a story of the past. A story of a man who was willing to sacrifice everything for the woman he loved and the family they had made. A man who taught his son what it meant to love someone with all his heart. And a son who would find that person only to lose her again.”
This didn't sound like a very nice story, I thought, but I was already drifting away and couldn't say anything.
“This son believed that he would never love again, but perhaps, he was wrong...”
I didn't hear anything else as the darkness washed over me and I slept.
Chapter Nine
When I rolled over and looked at the clock, I thought for sure that it had to be wrong. There was no way I'd slept twelve hours. Then I saw the way the light was coming in from between my curtains and knew that the clock was right. I stretched, my body stiff from not having moved in so long. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt rested. A little voice in my head told me that Elias was the reason, that it had been his voice lulling me to sleep that had allowed me to finally beat the insomnia that had been plaguing me for so long. I wasn't entirely sure if that was true, but I wasn't going to discount it either.
I decided to take advantage of my long weekend and kept things very slow. I changed out of the clothes I'd slept in and took a nice, long bath, letting the hot water soothe away the last of my stiffness. I pulled on my favorite 'around the house' outfit of black and light blue flannel pants, and a black t-shirt that declared me 'Pineapple Princess' for a reason I no longer remembered. They weren't pajamas, but they were close. After I dressed, I wandered around the house, admiring the work that Elias and I had done the night before.
My orchids were still on the kitchen table and I smiled as I saw them. It was too bad they would start to wilt soon, their delicate petals unable to stay fresh for long. I wanted to keep them, to remember, and I knew a way I could preserve them. I'd done it to the orchid I'd received from the studio after my Golden Globe nomination for my role as Orchid Lane. I hadn't won, as my parents had continually reminded me, but I'd been proud of the work I'd done.
I took them from the vase and carried them into my library. I laid them on the table, then went in search of the perfect book. Once I found it, I pressed the orchids between the pages and then left them to dry as I set off on my second mission of the day. I wanted to find a Christmas tree. As I searched for the best place in LA to buy a live tree and have it delivered, I remembered one of the reasons why I actually didn't hate the internet.
Once I set up delivery for this weekend, I was starting to feel restless again. I spent the remainder of the day doing all sorts of little things around the house, things that I'd been putting off due to the insanity of recent events. By the time I finished, it was dark and I was planning a night of watching movies and reading a good book. What I wasn't expecting was a knock on my door.
Even as I walked towards it, I knew who was on the other side. I didn't really have a logical reason for it, but I knew it all the same. No matter how crazy it sounded, the connection was real. When I opened the door, I was already smiling. “Hey there.” The expression on Elias's face made my smile widen. He was wearing was his almost-shy look, the one that twisted my heart. “Come on in.”
He spoke as he stepped inside. “I was wondering if you would like to accompany me on a picnic.” His tone was still formal-sounding, but there was a vulnerability to his voice wasn't usu
ally present.
“A picnic? You mean like for lunch tomorrow?”
He shook his head and gave me a small smile. “Have you ever had a picnic under a full moon?”
“No,” I said. The memory of the poem he'd recited the night before came back to me. “But I'd love to.”
The smile on his face blossomed and his eyes shone. “I had noticed yesterday that many of the leftovers would be perfect for a picnic. Shall I prepare them?”
I nodded. I suddenly remembered what I was wearing and heat rushed to my face. “And I'll go change.”
“Why?” Elias asked, already half-way towards the kitchen. “If you are comfortable, then, please, remain as you are.” This time I could hear the smile. “I rather like the attire.”
After a brief internal debate, I decided to do as he said and stay in my comfy clothes. He'd already seen them, so what was the point of dressing up? Besides, he'd said that he liked them. I smiled as I hurried up to my room to grab a sweatshirt. LA was far from in a cold zone, but night this time of year could get a bit nippy.
By the time I made it back to the kitchen, Elias was waiting with everything packed into a picnic basket I'd never seen before. Over his arm was a fleece blanket the exact shade of his eyes. I didn't recognize that either. He must've brought them with him. As I closed the distance between us, he set the blanket on top of the basket and walked towards me. We both stopped when we were less than a foot apart.
Without a word, he raised his hand towards my face. At first, I thought he was reaching for me, but then I caught a glimpse of color and turned my eyes towards his hand. He was holding another orchid, the bright blue Thelymitra Ixioides. He tucked it behind my ear, the tips of his fingers brushing down my cheek as he dropped his hand. I couldn't breathe. My skin was tingling where he'd touched me.
“Beautiful.”
He breathed the word and I wasn't sure if he was talking about the flower or about me. I really hoped it was the latter, though I could understand it being the former. It really was an amazing flower.
He took a step back and the spell was broken, or at least dampened. He held out his arm like something from an old-fashioned move. “Shall we?”
I put my arm through the crook of his and earned a smile. He picked up the basket and blanket and we headed for the French doors that led from my kitchen to my backyard I was a bit confused.
“Where're we going?” I asked as we stepped outside. A cool breeze greeted me and I was glad I'd gotten the sweatshirt.
“Considering recent events, I did not think it wise to be out and about at night. Here, the wall surrounding your property will prevent any issues,” Elias said, matter-of-factly.
Thinking like a bodyguard even when he was off duty, I mused. He and I walked between the in-ground pool and the covered patio to the hill that led down into the rest of my property. When I'd purchased the house years ago, most of the land acres behind my house had been covered with stone, leaving only a thin strip of grass surrounding the servants' quarters slash guesthouse at the far edge of the property.
One of the first things I'd done after taking my first job after buying the house was hire a landscaper to come in, tear down the guesthouse, and redo the entire thing. Now, the hill that sloped down from the patio and pool turned into something that looked like the entrance to a wild fantasy garden.
A path wound through artfully tangled trees and flowers. I had climbing roses that twisted up around trellis that arched over the pathway, desert lavender that lined the edges of the path and myriad other flowers and plants that were scattered throughout the two acres. When everything was blooming, the scent was intoxicating.
We stopped at the edge of the garden and Elias released my arm to spread the blanket on the ground. The grass was damp, but the blanket was thick enough that I didn't feel a thing as I sat down. Elias fussed over making sure everything was laying just so and I watched, a smile playing at my lips as he smoothed down the blanket and straightened the edges. I hadn't realized he was so particular.
It wasn't until he was sitting down that he looked at me and realized that I was, for lack of a better term, smirking. “Something is amusing?”
“Not really.” I shook my head. “I was just watching you make sure everything was perfect.” To my surprise, Elias looked almost embarrassed, and I saw a flash of vulnerability go across his eyes. “I thought it was adorable, by the way.”
The smile that curved his lips was one of relief. “That is what I wanted,” he said. “For it to be perfect.” He ducked his head as he said the last word and a chunk of hair fell across his forehead.
I reached out and put my hand over his since I didn't know how he'd respond to me pushing back that hair like I wanted to do. His head snapped back towards me, eyes wide with more shock than I'd have anticipated. “Thank you, Elias.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For all of this. For coming over yesterday so I didn't have to spend Thanksgiving alone, again. For helping me decorate last night.” My cheeks flamed. “For putting me to bed when I fell asleep and staying when I asked you to. And for coming over tonight with this wonderful idea.”
The moment froze, my hand on his, my body leaning towards him. I was pretty sure that my heart had stopped in my chest. I didn't want to pull away first. I wanted him to move closer, his lips to touch mine. Just the idea made my heart beat again and time moved onward. He slid his hand out from under mine and turned towards the picnic basket.
I sat back, hoping my breathing didn't sound as loud and harsh to him as it did to me. It was nearing midnight and the already quiet by comparison neighborhood was virtually silent. There was the faint sound of cars passing by, but it was just background noise. My heart was pounding louder than that. It was maddening how this man could have such an effect on my body with barely a touch, and often without one at all.
Elias opened the basket and began setting out all of the food he'd packed. I'll admit it, I thought for sure that his idea of packing leftovers would be to put all of the containers from my fridge into the basket. Not that it would've been bad, but I still hadn't been expecting what he did produce.
A plate with turkey sandwiches made with homemade rolls. A bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy, both still steaming. Two slices of pumpkin pie with whipped cream and a spoonful of cranberry sauce next to each one. He had silverware for each dish and two silver thermoses. When I gave him a questioning look, he spoke.
“Hot cider.”
My stomach growled and I realized that I hadn't eaten since I'd first woken up and nibbled at some cold turkey. I would've been embarrassed at the sound if I hadn't been so hungry. Without acknowledging what I knew he'd heard, Elias held out the plate of sandwiches.
I'd eaten half of the sandwich before I noticed that Elias was watching me. Suddenly self-conscious, I lowered it. “What?”
“I apologize,” he said. “You remind me of someone I knew when I was younger.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked.
He shook his head and reached for the bowl of mashed potatoes. “It does not matter either way. I have not seen her in a long time.” He handed the bowl to me. “You do not want them to get cold.”
He had a point. I set to work eating them as he started on a sandwich of his own.
“May I ask you something?”
I nodded and prepared for one of the hundreds of questions people threw my way after first meeting me. True, we'd spent some time together, but it wasn't like we'd really talked about anything other than just hobbies and such.
“Did you truly like the flowers I brought?” He glanced up at me through eyelashes that were annoyingly thick for a man. “I do not wish you to feel obligated to pretend.”
Where had that come from? I set down the bowl and focused all of my attention on him. “I absolutely loved them, Elias. What made you think that I didn't?”
“I noticed that the flowers were no longer on the table.”
I didn'
t have to be overly observant to notice that he wasn't looking at me when he said it. I felt a pang of guilt. I hadn't even thought about what he'd think if he happened to see the flowers gone. Honestly, I hadn't thought he'd be back in the house so soon, but I doubted it would've occurred to me even then.
“I put them in a book,” I said, desperately wanting to make him feel better. “I wanted to preserve them so I'd never have to throw them away.”
“Oh.” The sound was tentative, as if he wasn't sure he could believe me. “I was worried that you had only taken them to be polite.”
It was strange, I thought, how our roles had suddenly switched. Now I was the strong one and he the one in need of my support. I reached out towards him, pushing aside any hesitation that I may have felt under other circumstances. This wasn't about me or what I wanted. This was about making him feel better. I put my hand on his forearm and felt the muscles tense under my touch.
“You remembered that those were my favorite flowers and found the rarest ones to give to me. I never thought I'd see either of them anywhere other than a picture. They are truly two of the most beautiful things I've ever been given.” I hoped that the truth of the statement was clear. “When they're finished drying, I'm going to frame them.”
He looked up at me now. “I am happy to hear that you were pleased.”
Another one of those long pauses filled the space between us. I broke it this time, sitting back and reaching for my sandwich again. That moment had more weight to it than I'd expected. I wasn't hungry anymore but I kept eating rather than letting Elias think that there was something wrong with the meal.
I'd acknowledged my initial attraction and had been aware of this connection that, for some reason, allowed me to sense when he was near, but I hadn't realized until that instant just a few seconds ago, the depth and strength of the pull between us. This was beyond anything I'd experienced before. It was... it was almost like gravity, like we were being draw together by a force of nature.
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