“I…I lost our baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect it,” she cries.
And those are the dreaded words. Our baby is gone. She’s sorry. She’s sorry she couldn’t protect our baby. I’m the one who’s sorry. It’s my fault. I’m the one to blame. I should have been there. “It’s not your fault. Ava. I’m sorry.”
I hear Claire sob.
“Mom, is that you?”
I look at Claire. She’s unable to speak. Marshall struggles to find the words. “Your mom and dad are both here.” Claire holds her daughter’s hand and squeezes.
Ava cries, “I’m sorry, Mom.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I watch as Marshall’s jaw twitches with anger.
“Oh, Ava, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m just glad you’ll be all right.”
The nurse comes in and gives Ava her eye drops. The police also want Ava to give a statement. Marshall and I fight the over-protectiveness to shield her, for we know this is something she needs to do. If we want Brett to remain in jail and to be punished, she needs to do this.
Her dad kisses her and says, “I’ll be right here the entire time you’re talking to the police.”
She nods.
“Me, too, princess. Just tell them what you remember and if it’s too much, you can stop.”
Marshall and I walk away to the corner of the room while Claire stays nearby.
“What’s your plan?” Marshall whispers.
I have a plan, and I knew he would see right through me. “I’m going to his court hearing in the morning, and if he bonds out, I’ll be there waiting for him.”
“This was his last time hurting Ava,” he declares. “I’m gonna kill that bastard with my bear hands, and I’ll have no mercy.”
We’re talking to each other, but our eyes and ears are on Ava and her conversation with the police officers. “I won’t give him another chance to hurt her.”
“Agreed. That bastard’s days are limited. I’ll see to it if it’s the last thing I do.”
I look at him and I understand exactly what he’s saying. I nod to let him know it’s a go. If Brett gets released on bond, one or both of us will take matters into our own hands. This is an oath between two men who love Ava more than life. Brett has to be stopped. I may not agree with it, and it goes against everything I believe in, but a man in love will stop at nothing to protect what’s his. I will gladly do this to honor Ava and my dead child.
When Ava cries uncontrollably, I interfere as her husband and her attorney. “She’s done; you’ll need to come back later.”
Her mother is sitting beside her, holding her hand, also crying. I’m not sure if it’s the tone of my voice or the look on my face that has the police officers leaving without an argument. Maybe each of them is a husband and a father and can relate to my pain.
“I want to go home,” Ava cries.
I take her hand in mine and kiss her softly on her cheek. I want her home more than anything, but it’s not possible. The best place for her is here, at least for the night.
“Tomorrow, Ava. I’ll get you home tomorrow.”
The nurse comes in and gives Ava something to calm her. She also explains that because of the miscarriage, Ava will need a D&C procedure done in the morning. It takes all I have to keep the anger in. If Ava wasn’t here, I swear I would fall to the ground and cry like a baby. Then I would go to the jail and bond Brett out myself before killing him with my bare hands. I’m a law-abiding man, always have been, but even a good man has his limits. He’ll do anything for his family.
When Ava sleeps, Nichole, Drew, and Skylar come in. Nicole and Skylar cry when they see her. I think they were actually crying before they saw her. Ava’s face is red and blotchy from the chemical burns and her eyes are completely covered with gauze. She has no visible bruises on her face from the assault. I can only guess they are on her torso. I assume she’s asleep since I can’t see her eyes. I won’t say anything in the room that I don’t want Ava to hear. Drew doesn’t cry, but he looks sad for Ava. He looks at Marshall and me with the same unspoken words that have been floating around us. Are you going to let him get away with this? It’s time to do something about him. Count me in.
I nod. It’s good knowing I’m in good company and others love Ava as I do. I’d like to think the police and the justice system will work and it’ll do what it’s supposed to be. To serve and protect. But in the event it fails, I have a plan. While Ava sleeps, one thing runs through my head: protecting Ava. It’s the most important thing in my life. I should have protected her and my baby. I failed and I’ll have to live with this the rest of my life. Is it wrong that I am so grateful that Ava’s life was spared? Does it mean I love Ava more than my unborn baby? No. I loved our baby. No other child will ever take its place. My heart will never be whole again. It’ll always have a missing piece. I can’t let Brett hurt her again. I won’t give him a second chance, I can’t. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make sure she never has a reason to fear him, again.
I stand and walk over to Marshall, who’s been watching and standing guard over his daughter from the corner of the room. He’s been on his phone texting, but he stops as I approach him.
“I need to be at Brett’s court hearing in the morning.”
“I’ll be there as well,” Marshall says. “I need to see him.”
“I’m not sure about leaving Ava here alone.”
“You need to stay here with Ava. I’ll attend the court hearing.”
Skylar and Drew come up and Skylar says, “I need to get back to the inn. We have guests staying there this evening.”
“I understand. Thank you for everything you did for her.”
“I wish we could have done more. I wish I could stay here with her, but there’s just no way.”
“I know, Skylar. Thank you. She’ll understand.”
She leans up and kisses me before kissing Marshall goodbye.
“If you need me, you have my number,” Drew says, shaking my and Marshall’s hand.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
Nichole leaves next because she needs to get back to little Connor. She apologizes over and over again. Although this is not her fault, she feels responsible. I can relate to the guilt she carries with her. I think we all can. Guilt is a nasty five-letter word.
That night we all stay in the hospital with Ava. Claire and I stay at her bedside holding each of her hands while Marshall stands in the corner of the room. I guess he feels he’s in a better position to watch over her if he’s standing in the corner. Marshall was in Special Forces in the military, although he never talks about it. I have no idea if he’s killed anyone — make that how many people he’s killed. I didn’t notice it or think about it much until tonight. He’s standing guard like he’s protecting the life of the President of the United States. He doesn’t sit, but remains standing.
I don’t sleep and neither does he. When I look over at him, he’s either on his phone texting or he’s in deep thought. It’s 4 am and I decide to make a coffee run to the cafeteria. I check my phone; there are no messages or missed calls. I smile when I see the screen saver. It’s Ava and me on our wedding day. It was and still is the happiest day of my life. She’s my dream come true.
Just before I make it into the hospital room after getting us coffee, I get a call from an unknown number. “Chase here,” I answer.
“It’s Sgt. Ricks with the Savannah Police Department.” My heart drops to the pit of my stomach. “We’re calling to notify you that Brett Emerson just bonded himself out of jail.”
A million things run through my mind. “Okay, thank you.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. I’m beyond pissed, but I don’t want to show it.
“I’ll be in touch.”
He hangs up before I can reply. I relay the news to Marshall. He sends out one last text and puts his cell phone in his pocket. We look at each other with unspoken words. A silent oath between two men. A promise made in the memory of my dead child, hi
s dead grandchild. A pledge made in honor of the woman we both love.
Throughout the day Claire, Marshall, and I stay with Ava. She continues her round-the-clock eye drops, and she gets her D&C done in the early morning. By evening time, she’s demanding to go home. I assure the medical staff I will continue her eye drops and do everything I’m supposed to do to keep her healthy.
Marshall and I keep the news of Brett’s release to ourselves. I can’t tell Ava; she’ll worry.
Just before they release her, they carefully remove the white gauze that has been protecting Ava’s fragile eyes. I hold my breath as she blinks a few times and her eyes adjust to the light.
“How’s your vision, Ava?” the doctor asks.
“Blurry.”
“That’s expected. It’ll clear up in a few days.”
I exhale deeply.
“Any pain anywhere?”
A tear falls. “I have some cramping, and my ribs hurts.”
“That’s also normal. You’re body’s adjusting to the loss and to the injuries.”
Ava cries.
“Let me complete your paperwork, get you something ordered for pain, and we’ll get you out of here. I think you’ll heal faster at home surrounded by your loved ones.”
“Thank you,” I say.
It isn’t until I sign the release papers that I can see the fear in Ava’s eyes. My wife’s afraid to leave the security of the hospital. She fears what might happen to her when she returns home. I’m the reason for the fear on her face. I’ve failed her. I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I look at Marshall and quickly look away. He’s the only one I can communicate with without saying a word. We both agree to not tell her that Brett’s been released on bond. She’ll worry even more than she is and I don’t want that.
Ava
I’ve been home for three days trying to adjust to my new normal. The redness is almost gone from my face although it’s still very sensitive, and my vision is finally back to normal. I do have some rib pain and bruising from the kicks I suffered from Brett. I have been through worse beatings from Connor, so I know this could have been much worse. Since the attack and my miscarriage, I feel empty. The inn I once loved is filled with memories of what I lost. My innocent baby will never feel the love I had for it. I can barely look outside at the carriage house, our future home, because it’s where the attack happened. Where Brett threw toilet bowl cleaner in my face. Where Brett kicked me over and over again. Where my baby ultimately died. Brett stopped his assault only when I faked death. I did learn something useful from Connor; ironically, he saved my life.
When I got home from the hospital, a voice mail message was on my cell phone. The detective told me that Brett had bonded out of jail. I’ve recently been stalking him online, and I know he bought a home on Lake Mayer. The first two days when I was in bed resting, I was researching everything I could on Lake Mayer and Brett’s residence. Since it was newly bought, it was still listed on the realtor’s web page. Layout of the home, land, and property. I just feel that if he’s stalking me, I need to also stalk him, too. I won’t give him a second chance to hurt me again. To cause physical harm to me is one thing, to kill my unborn baby is something else. He won’t get a second chance. This is a promise I made to the memory of my child.
I don’t tell anyone about Brett’s release. They’ll just worry. There’s nothing anyone can do. Dad and Mom come over daily and make dinner. They just kind of hang out, not saying much. Drew, Dad, and Chase talk in private. I have no idea about what. I don’t ask.
I hate to admit it, but more evil exists in the world than I want to acknowledge. I hope that in time, I’ll get back almost everything that I’ve lost from Connor and his dad. I’ll never get my baby back, and it can never be replaced with another.
Steve and Lou Ann heard about the attack on the news. They showed up with homemade beef stew, biscuits, and a freshly baked blackberry pie. They had assumed the attack was random, and I didn’t correct them. They don’t need to know that I know the evil man who is responsible for the death of my baby.
As sad as I am, Chase is equally sad. He stays around the house, but doesn’t hover over me. The good mood at the inn is replaced with a somber one. There isn’t anything that screamed a baby was here. Chase and I didn’t buy it anything, at least not much, but the emptiness in my heart is a constant reminder of what I lost.
Later that night while lying in bed, Chase and I talk about the inn.
“I think that when Drew and Skylar get married they might want to move away and be closer to Tybee Island.”
“Has she said something about it?” he asks.
“No, but it’s a 40-minute drive there without traffic. I think they might want to be closer to his business.” It’s kind of the truth. The other truth is I’m not sure I want to continue to live here. So many bad memories are here and as much as I love the inn, I think I’m ready to sell it and move on to something else. While the tearoom is thriving, the inn isn’t.
“What will we do with the inn if they decide to move?” He rolls on his side so he can see me. “Are you wanting to sell the inn and move away?”
I blink away the tears. “There’s so many bad memories here.”
“Come here.” He opens his arms for me and I snuggle into him. The tears fall and I let them. “We have some great memories here, too.”
“We have, but the bad ones are easier to remember.”
Chase has taken the week off from work so he can stay home with me. Maybe it’s a bereavement leave, I have no idea. Skylar and I work the tea while Chase works from home on his computer. It’s nice having him here, but it doesn’t help with my sadness. The inn that I used to love is just a sad reminder of Xander’s death and the death of my and Chase’s baby. I can never bring either of them back. I miss Xander everyday, and I loved this baby more than life. I guess the sadness will follow me no matter where I live. Maybe I need to replace the sad memories with happier ones. I decide to ask Skylar what her plans are for after her wedding.
“What do you mean? I might take a few days and get a hotel room, but after that, it’s business as usual.”
“I wondered if you had plans to work with Drew on the boat bar.” I laugh for the first time in several days.
“Boat bar?” She also laughs.
“Yeah, you know, the bar that’s a boat. What else do you call it?”
“I have no idea what to call it, but the answer is no. I have a job and it’s here with you at the inn.”
Skylar would never leave me if she thought this is what I wanted. I decide to give her an out. “What if you weren’t committed here to the inn? What would you do?”
She shifts in her seat. “Why? What’s up? Are you thinking of selling the inn?”
“We own it together, so that would be a decision we both would make as partners.”
She exhales deeply. “I guess if you and Chase wanted to sell it, I would try to buy it.”
“You would stay here and run it?”
“Yeah, I love this place. I met Drew here. You got your memory back while living here. You’re building a house in the back. We’re destined to be together forever. We have a lot of good memories here.” She frowns. “We have some sad memories, too. Is that why you’re asking me about selling the inn?”
“That, and the declining business of the inn. I’m not sure, it’s probably just a combination of things.”
“I’m sorry. I would do anything to change that day if I could.”
“I know you would, but you can’t.”
“Ava, I swear to you. If I ever see Brett again, I’m going to kill him. He’s going to pay for what he’s done to you.”
I frown at her words. I know she means them. She’ll have to beat me to it. I’ve already vowed to kill Brett myself. I owe it to my baby. “We need to just move forward.” I lean in and hug her. “I’m glad to hear that you’re not just here because you feel committed to stay because of me.”
“Are you kidding? T
his is the best job I ever had. I’ll never leave this place. As soon as I get married, and you and Chase move into the carriage house, I’m planning on remodeling the living quarters.”
This is such a relief for me. “You know the carriage house is nearly complete.”
“I do know and I can’t wait. Although I’m going to miss you, terribly.”
I laugh. “I’m just going to be a few feet away.”
“I know, but it seems so far away. Now I’ll have to put on my slippers and a robe to meet you for coffee.”
We both laugh.
“I know you don’t have a wedding date planned, but do you want to start jotting down some ideas for the big day?
She looks excited. “Are you up to it?”
“I am. Let me get a pen and paper.”
Chase
I’m in the bedroom when Ava walks quietly into the room so as to not disturb me. She says, “Sorry, I just need to get a tablet and pen.”
“You’re not bothering me,” I say, because she’s not. “What’s up?” I ask.
“Skylar reminded me of the wonderful things that have happened since we bought the inn.” She gets the pen and notebook from the desk drawer and kisses me quickly. “I’m feeling better, so Skylar and I are going to start planning her wedding.”
I think I stopped listening when she said she’s feeling better. I’ve been so worried about her. Ava has always been a fighter. I should have known she wouldn’t be down for long. Of course, this could also just be a cover up, but I hope not. “One minute they’re broken up and she’s burning his shit, then the next, they’re engaged and planning a wedding.” I laugh. “My head’s spinning as it tries to keep up with everything.”
Seeking the Future Page 13