Yes, actually, I could. But then I’d have to tell Bookie what I’d become, how easily I killed. Was I ready to let him see me like that? Could I walk into Bert’s and shrug off the looks of dread I got if Bookie was beside me and seeing the same thing? How would Bookie look at me after watching me carve up a Dark Walker as easily as a warm stick of butter? No remorse, no fear, just letting my baser instincts take hold.
I walked out of the barn, hoping to leave the conversation back with the dirty hay.
Bookie walked along beside me, silent for a while until both of our houses, side by side, came into view.
“I worry when you go out there alone,” he said as we turned onto the walk to the house he lived in with Fudge and Tiffy.
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t use that word often, but what else could I say under this kind of pressure? This worrying about you shit was way worse than Dax getting upset about his plans being ruined or a Dark Walker trying to kill me.
“But you’re still going to do it tomorrow.”
“I… Well…” Who was I kidding? Of course I was. This was why I had to think of my lies ahead of time, so I didn’t get stuck in these uncomfortable conversations. “Doesn’t mean I’m not sorry for it,” I said as a last-ditch effort.
“That’s exactly what it means.”
“I’m doing what I have to do and you’ll still forgive me.” I waited a minute, hoping he’d agree. All I got was silence. “Right?”
“Of course I will. I’ll always be there for you Dal. Don’t you know that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Bookie paused right before opening the door to the house. “By the way, Fudge knows you slipped out again.”
“How?”
“Sorry,” he said, getting me back as he made an exaggerated cringe face and then slipped into the house too fast for me to argue with him.
Tank, Dax’s right-hand man, was already there seated at the table beside Tiffy, both of them scoffing down more than their fair share of what looked like lasagna.
I didn’t see Tank as often now since he’d been dating Carmine. He said he was home every night, but I never saw him go to bed and I never saw him get up in the morning. I wasn’t sure what would happen when we moved back to the farm. Would she come with us? I couldn’t imagine Tank leaving Dax’s side. It would be like stripping the spots off a pinto.
Unless we never got back to the farm.
“Heard you had a busy morning,” Tank said as I sat down across from him.
“Didn’t see you come in last night,” I shot back.
“Dal, Dal, Dal…” Tiffy said. “You must be careful out there. You don’t have friends like I do.” For a four-year-old, she sure knew how to beat someone with the inadvertent I-told-you-sos. There was no doubt anymore to the people in the know that Tiffy’s friends were real, and she never missed an opportunity to rub it in.
“People around here make an awful big deal about going for a walk,” I said, shooting a look at Bookie to hold the rest of the details to himself if he valued his life.
Fudge walked in and laid another tray on the table. The second her hands were free, they started fluttering around like I’d seen her do quite often, especially after she heard something she didn’t like.
“What is that thing you do, Fudge?”
“It’s called the sign of the cross,” Bookie said as he reached for some pasta. “It’s one of her religious things.”
“What’s it do?” I asked, wondering if I should give it a try.
“It’s to make me feel better when you’re being crazy. Now eat,” she said. “You’re still too skinny, even with all the food you take in.”
I didn’t argue when it would only delay the eating process. Lasagna was a special item we didn’t see much of, and it was a calling like a siren’s song to my growling belly.
I’d made it through a plate and a half of lasagna when Tiffy started giving me the eye. I knew the eye. It might have been wrong to dread talking to a four-year-old, but this one could say some scary shit.
She sat there as poised as someone in their thirties and crossed her arms, giving me a knowing smile. “Dal, I want to show you my new doll.”
Oh no. I knew the doll ploy. When she broke out the doll ploy, it was serious business and there was no way of getting out of it. Might as well go listen now and get this over with. “Sure, Tiffy, let’s go see the doll.”
She smiled and got up from the table, and I followed her chipper step with my own footfalls of doom.
When she closed the bedroom door, it sounded like someone hammering the final nail in my coffin.
“I talked with my friends,” she said as she sat on the bed and reached for a doll that was resting on her pillow.
I let out a string of swears, not caring how old she was. After all, I felt like I was the one who needed protecting. “I thought you weren’t going to speak to them anymore?”
“I don’t remember ever agreeing to that,” she said as she straightened out the ruffled pink dress the doll was wearing.
Of course she didn’t. Wait, didn’t I just use almost those exact words in the barn earlier with Dax? “Were you—”
“Nope.”
“Tiffy?”
“No proof, no crime.” Her little shoulder shrugged, as if dropping the invisible crime’s weight with effortless ease from settling upon her shoulders.
“You’re off the hook for now, but don’t do that again, okay?” It wasn’t like I hadn’t done some of my own eavesdropping in the past. A girl had to do what a girl had to do out here. “What did you talk about with your friends?”
“They said to not worry. I can’t get the Bloody Death.”
“Why not?” I remembered Dax telling me about how he’d found her, alone in a house full of victims of the disease, so I had my own suspicions. Was Tiffy a Plaguer like me and we just didn’t know it? “Tiffy, you ever see visions? Images of the people you meet doing things that they aren’t currently doing?”
“No.”
Okay, not a Plaguer. So why couldn’t she get the Bloody Death? “Did they tell you why?”
“No.” She reached over, grabbed a brush sitting on her bedside table, and started brushing the doll’s hair. “This is the new doll.”
“She’s beautiful,” I said, not actually looking at the doll. “Did they say anything else?”
“No, and you barely looked at her.” She held the doll in front of my face so it was unavoidable. “Look at her.”
“Oh, so pretty!” I forced myself to stare at the face for a whole second before I kicked back into question mode. “That’s all they said?”
“Yes.” She turned her doll this way and that. “I think she needs a blue dress like mine. Can you sew me one?”
“Uh…” I could kill no problem. But sew? I didn’t know how to sew.
“It needs ruffles, like this. See?” She was pointing to the trim of her own dress.
“Maybe we should ask Fudge. It’ll come out much better that way.”
I was halfway to the door before she nodded.
3
Another morning gripping the blankets after another bad night. The good nights were getting sparser and sparser. I kicked into inventory mode almost instinctually now, checking off the list: no chimes, no sickly sweet smells, and the walls of my room were white, not cement.
As I listened for noises, the house was too quiet. I wasn’t just missing monsters but a man who might want to meddle with my plans for the day. Dax could say whatever he wanted about giving up, but that man had never quit anything in his life. I wasn’t trusting those words for a second.
I scrambled out of bed before Dax could spontaneously appear, like he often seemed to do. A quick stop in the bathroom and a mad grab for clothes and I was out the door.
The aroma of bacon and sausage permeated the air around Fudge’s house, but I forced myself to keep walking as I spotted Dax through the window, sitting at her table eating. Not even bacon was enough to bet my morning freedom on.
>
But that left me with one big problem. Where was I going to get breakfast? Where did people eat around here if it wasn’t for Fudge’s food? I’d never had this problem before, and the idea of killing on an empty stomach wasn’t appealing.
I tilted my head back, trying to catch a whiff of food on the air, but the only thing I could smell led me back to Fudge’s.
The food back at the house was all uncooked. I didn’t know what to do with the stuff the way they gave it to me, all raw. Our icebox acted as additional storage for Fudge.
I stepped onto Main Street, a block from Rocky’s office, and heard Susan, the woman in charge of administration, calling my name. She was walking with Angel, who handled the wall guards and security. They were heading in my direction and I stopped and waited for them to catch up to me.
“You heading to breakfast?” Angel asked.
“Yeah.” I was smack in the center of town. I looked about the place trying to catch a whiff of bacon and eggs in the air. It had to be close. “But where is it?”
“It’s in the house behind the town hall,” Susan said as she looped her arm into mine and tugged me along with them. “Fudge isn’t cooking today?”
“She is, but I thought I’d check out what everyone else does for a change.”
“I’m glad you came by. I’ve got a stash of books I think you’d really enjoy.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ll drop them off at your house in the next couple of days. I have to get some back from Carmine first. They’re really good books, so I’d make sure your stack of candles is high.”
Tapping on glass drew my attention, and Rocky was standing in his office window, staring at me and waving me in.
“Looks like he wants to talk to you,” Susan said.
“Yeah, I better go see what’s up. I’ll catch up with you guys in a couple of minutes?”
Susan turned to Angel, before the corner of her mouth quirked up and she said to me, “In case you don’t make it, come by Carmine’s house tonight. We’re trying out some new recipes for blushes and lip gloss.”
“Are you sure that’s okay?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?”
Yeah, why wouldn’t it be, I thought. No one here cared that I’d had the Bloody Death. Lately, it seemed like I was the only one who remembered. I nodded and they headed off to breakfast without me.
I crossed the street, passing some locals all with smiles and waves, or at the very least nods. I knew all their names, and not one of them ran in the other direction or looked scared. Even at the farm, it had never been like this.
Walking toward the town hall to see what Rocky wanted, I realized I didn’t dread seeing people. I didn’t fear looking at them, wondering if they’d look back, and if they did, what expression they’d be wearing.
I stopped with my hand on the door and really took a look around at the bustling community, filled with people who liked me. This was exactly what I’d always wanted and it had snuck up on me. My dreams for tomorrow were here, today, and they had come in the last place I’d ever expected to find them.
Sure, there were still problems. I had Dark Walkers looming outside these walls hunting me. But I also woke up in a place where I was greeted with smiles and a welcome. I was living a life I’d only dreamed of a year ago.
I swung the door open to Rocky’s office, and he looked up from where he was sitting behind his wooden desk, nothing too ornamental but solid and strong. It fit him. Even the warm hue of the wood reminded me a bit of the deeper red shades of his hair.
“I like when you smile,” he said, matching my expression. He had a warm smile, but I was more interested in the heaping plate of food sitting in front of him at the moment, my mouth already watering from the smell of bacon. I was pretty sure his booty had come from the place I’d been heading.
“Did you want something?” I asked, hoping whatever it was would be quick before the food grew cold or the serving trays grew empty. I might be on the small side, but I could hold my own in the breakfast department.
“You hungry?” he asked.
I took a few steps toward the door. “Starving, so I’m going to head on out if you—”
“Stay and share mine,” he said, and was dragging a chair beside his before I could say yes. He opened up a drawer and pulled out a fork. “Here. By the time you get over there now, there’ll be a line and you’ll get crumbs. They always bring me too much, anyway.”
Eat off the same plate as him? I’d shared food with the girls back at the Cement Giant all the time, but something seemed so…intimate about it. But I was hungry and it did look good.
“Maybe I should just go get—”
“Don’t be silly. Sit.” He sat back down in his chair, picking up a piece of bacon and taking a healthy bite of it, his face displaying just how good it tasted before he said, “Cooked perfectly today.”
Maybe people ate off the same plate all the time? How would I know? I sat, took the fork, and started digging in.
“This is good, thanks,” I said. Not as good as Fudge’s, but she was a tough act to follow, so I didn’t hold it against them. Still better than what I would’ve made.
“So, now that Tiffy’s back, what are your plans? Give any thought to it?” he asked, his arm brushing mine as he stabbed a piece of sausage.
“No, not really,” I said, scooping up a nice heap of eggs, preferring to eat rather than talk.
“If you’re planning on staying for a while, there are a couple of empty houses. It’s probably hard to live with Tank and Dax.”
I shook my head. “Tank isn’t there much. He’s always over at Carmine’s house lately, so it’s not as crowded as you’d think with just the two of us over there,” I told him as he was eating a piece of sausage. “What’s wrong? You get a piece of gristle? Spit it out.”
“No. It’s fine,” he said, but looked like he’d just swallowed something very unpleasant.
Personally, I would’ve spit it out. I didn’t like swallowing gristle, but to each his own.
“I really think your position in the community deserves certain benefits, like your own residence.”
I ate some more eggs as I figured out the best way to lay out the hard truth on him. This was going to need another bite of bacon, too.
After three bites, I was ready. “The thing is, Rocky, I haven’t actually done anything yet,” I said as I heard the outer door open and hoped it was going to provide an interruption from this current conversation. It wasn’t like I wanted to tell Rocky how to run his place, but he needed to get a little better on resource allocation if what I’d seen was any example. As much as I liked Charlie and the salary, a house all to myself was going to eat up more resources. He needed to stop being so loose with the town resources.
“Maybe she likes her current residence?” Dax asked as he stepped into the open doorway, not offering up a distraction but making the conversation tougher by joining in. How far away could this guy hear from? Was anywhere safe? And how was I supposed to get out of the Rock today?
Dax stepped farther into the room, and I’d never seen someone smile and yet somehow look mad at the same time.
He stopped beside me and picked up the fork I’d been using to stab a piece of sausage off the plate. “Sorry to break up your morning breakfast here,” Dax said, “but, Dal, we’ve got to run.” He plucked the sausage off the fork and popped it into his mouth. Maybe eating off the same plate really wasn’t a big deal. Now three of us were eating from the same dish.
“Sure.” I nodded as I stood. Dax hadn’t mentioned any plans to me but I’d avoided him since the barn yesterday. Still, I wasn’t surprised. Dax hadn’t bugged me to sit in the bushes and stare at Dark Walkers for weeks. Since there was no way I was going to be able to lose them both at this point, my day’s agenda had been officially cleared.
“Thanks for breakfast,” I said to Rocky as I stood.
Rocky grabbed my arm before I took more than a step away and then
leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Have a good day.” Nothing but smiles while I was reeling from the weird move. Why the hell was he kissing my cheek? He’d never kissed my cheek before.
Things had been getting stranger and stranger with these two. I knew they both wanted me for their very own Dark Walker watcher. Was this a new part of their game to see who got to keep the upper hand?
I turned and saw Dax’s expression. Oh yeah, just another part of their game. He was way too pissed for it to be anything else. I might hate losing, but I’d never met anyone who hated it more than me until Dax came into my life.
“Don’t worry, she’ll have a good day,” Dax said, “because I’ll make sure of it.” Rocky’s grip was replaced by Dax’s arm shuffling me forward.
I didn’t know what Rocky’s expression was because I didn’t have a chance to look back as I was steered out of the office and then the building. We walked past the gate and toward the house. Did he forget something he needed? He didn’t have a notebook for me in hand.
“So which hole are we hitting up today?” Maybe it was a new one that I could add to my list. Might be a good idea to expand my range. I’d already heated up the two holes to the west and Bert certainly wasn’t very happy.
“None of them,” he said, his fake smile long gone by time we got to the house. “What were you doing back there?”
“Eating breakfast?”
“Why?”
“Because he offered and I was hungry.” Where was he going with this?
“You’re too young.”
“To eat?” I asked, shocked at such a bizarre statement. “To eat alone with him? That makes no sense.”
“Which is why you shouldn’t eat with him.”
The looks he was giving me made it seem like he thought I was being the obtuse one. Then he walked off like he hadn’t said we had plans this morning.
I shook my head as I watched him disappear. I really hoped the two of them figured out their issues soon, because this was way too confusing.
But in the meantime, looked like someone had a free morning.
4
The Dead Page 3