by Nancy Naigle
See? It’s already awkward, and it was just one kiss. I can’t dread going to my own office. This is crazy. That settles it. That kiss is not happening again. No matter how good it was.
She walked inside with a renewed strength and a reminder that she was immune to his little tactics.
But when Connor’s voice carried through the office space, she felt her immunity wane a little as an uncontrollable ripple of awareness coursed through her. It drove her nuts how he always spoke on speakerphone, mostly because she couldn’t keep herself from eavesdropping.
She busied herself with opening the mail, then walked down the hall to give Connor his.
“I don’t think so,” said another voice. Then the unmistakable metal sounds of a rifle pushing ammo into its chamber sent her two quick steps backward. She turned blindly, stumbling into the oversize painting that hung on the wall.
Her heart pounded so hard she couldn’t hear anything else.
Ben rushed into the hall, with Connor right behind him. They both looked alarmed.
After a long night of troubled soul-searching, her worst nightmare stood right in front of her. Both Dad and Connor. Just seeing her dad aroused old fears and uncertainties. She closed her eyes and prayed that when she opened them, she’d be back upstairs in her bed, with the morning sunrise just peeking through the plantation shutters, but no.
Instead, Connor and Ben both stood there staring at her like she owed them an explanation.
She shoved the mail in Connor’s direction. “I heard the gun cock, and it caught me off guard.”
Nervous laughter filled the hallway, breaking the tension.
Ben’s eyes softened. “I bet we did scare you. Sorry about that. Connor said you were with Jill getting ready for the wedding.”
“I thought we were alone. Sorry, Carolanne,” Connor said.
Ben handed the rifle off to Connor. “I’d just come by to see his new gun, and…” Then his gaze dropped to her neckline, and his face went slack.
Her hand went to her neck in response to him staring at the necklace.
Connor was staring, too, and she regretted not pulling her hair back this morning. He’d think she’d worn it down for him. Well, maybe in some stupid way she had.
Ben blinked and finished his sentence. “Where’d you get that necklace?”
Connor interjected. “Your daughter was like a wild woman when that thing came up for auction last night. Same auction where I got the rifle. She refused to let anyone outbid her.”
A smile trembled over her lips as she reached for the pendant. “You recognize it, too? Are you thinking the same thing? When I saw it—”
He stepped toward her. “It’s just like the one she had.”
“Mom’s, right?”
He nodded slowly.
“When I saw this, it reminded me of Mom. I wondered if it was my imagination.” She smiled hesitantly, then looked to Connor as her dad stepped forward and touched the necklace.
“It’s not your imagination.” Ben rubbed his hand across his mouth. “I never thought I’d see that again. We never did figure out what happened to it. She loved that necklace.”
“I remember when she lost it.”
“You were so little then.”
“Mom was so upset.”
A flash of sadness filled Ben’s eyes. “Oh yeah. She was tore up about it. The timing was bad, too, because her best friend had come to stay with us, and it wasn’t long after that it turned up missing.”
“I bet that was awful for her.”
“As bad as losing the necklace, I think. My great-grandfather’s bride received it from his mother when they had their first child. It had been in my family for generations. My mother gave it to your mom the day you were born.”
“Do you think it’s the same necklace?”
“It almost has to be. I mean, there could have been more than one made, but it’s not like they were mass-producing stuff like that back in the day.” He reached out and touched the platinum chain, then dropped his hands and let out a sigh. “You look just like her. Always did.”
Is that why you could never look at me?
Ben patted his hand across his heart. “I’m glad it found you. Your mom would be so happy to know you are wearing it.”
What about you?
There was a gentle softness in Ben’s voice. “I’m happy to know you have it. It’s supposed to bring great luck and long-lasting love. Not that your mom and I ever needed any help in that area.”
“I know,” Carolanne said quietly. “I know how much you loved her.”
He reached for her hand. “And you.”
She drew her lips tight, as tight as her heart felt right that second. She glanced toward Connor, wishing he’d disappear.
“And, Carolanne, I let you down. I know I did, but I never stopped loving you. You were the best thing your mother and I ever did together.”
“Don’t…” Are you reading my mind? Not now, Dad. If you’re reading my mind, read this, too. Please, not now. I can’t talk about this right now.
“It’s important to me that you know that I know I let you down. I take accountability for that. I can’t fix the past. God knows I wish I could.” His voice shook as he spoke.
She bit the inside of her cheek and stared past him, trying not to break down herself. Connor staring wasn’t making it any better.
“Carolanne, I love you, and I’m sorry…for everything. I’m not asking you to forget the past, but if we could just…”
She tried to hide her misery, but his words sliced the past like a new wound. We’re both broken. “Dad, let’s put it behind us, OK?”
“Yeah,” Ben said, then shrugged. “OK.”
She stepped back, needing the space. It was long overdue, but now what? How do you end a moment like this? She had more questions, but what if that made things worse? This was progress. Let it be, Carolanne. “I’ve got to run and get changed for the rehearsal dinner,” she said. “I’ll leave you guys to play with your guns. I’ll see you later, Connor.”
They were still standing in the hall when she walked out the door and ran upstairs.
As soon as she got to her apartment, she turned the dead bolt and ran to her bedroom. She lay across the bed, crying and wondering how she was going to push past so many years of built-up anger and hurt without it suffocating her in the process. As much as she knew she should put it behind her, the little girl inside her still hurt.
Connor, how could you have put me in that position? I wasn’t ready.
Chapter Nine
Three cold washcloths and a double dose of eyedrops later, Carolanne arrived at the church for the rehearsal dinner. She walked from her car up the long walkway. As a little girl, she used to think the doors to this church were gigantic. Nothing big about them now—must have just been the feeling of something bigger inside.
She’d prayed for many things here over the years. She’d prayed so hard for Mom to be well and for everything to be OK, but it hadn’t been enough. That hadn’t shaken her faith, though. There wasn’t a time she set foot in this church when she didn’t feel close to Mom.
Inside, Jill and Garrett were already talking with Reverend Burke near the front of the sanctuary.
It wasn’t going to be an elaborate ceremony, so there wasn’t much to go over in as far as a rehearsal. But that was tradition, too, so here they all were, gathering to step through it one more time to make sure Saturday would go without a hitch.
Carolanne walked over to the Malloys. “Are they nervous?”
Patsy Malloy laughed. “Are you kidding? I think I’m the only one nervous, and that’s just because I know I’m going to boohoo like a fool. I do it at everyone’s wedding, so I can just imagine how seeing my own son get married is going to affect me.”
“She’ll be a weeping willow.” Mr. Malloy pulled a handkerchief out of his left pocket and then one out of his right. “It’s going to be a two-hankie day. I guarantee it.”
“He kn
ows me so well,” Patsy said to Carolanne.
“I should. We’ve been married more years than we haven’t.” He reached over and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. “Best years of my life, too.”
“Sit down,” Patsy said, scooching over in the pew. “I think we’re going to go ahead and put the ribbons on the pews tonight before dinner if we have time. Reverend Burke said there’s nothing else scheduled before Jill and Garrett’s ceremony, so we can. May as well get it out of the way.”
“Sounds good.” Carolanne watched as Chaz and Doris Huckaby wrangled their twins back into a pew. The six-year-old girls were going to be the flower girls. Scott Calvin, the sheriff, walked in the side door with his nephew Robbie, the ring bearer, on his hip. Everyone was accounted for, with the exception of Connor.
Patsy placed a hand on Carolanne’s leg. “When are we going to see you walk down the aisle?”
“Oh goodness,” Carolanne said. “Let’s just get Jill and Garrett married before we think about doing this again too soon.” She could see in Patsy’s reaction that her comment had sounded harsh. “It takes a lot of work to put together a wedding like this.”
Connor leaned over her shoulder and whispered hello into her ear.
Carolanne wriggled away from him just as Milly shuffled in and slipped under Connor’s arm. “You two looking cozy together again. I like that.” She patted her chest. “Keeps my old heart full of hope.”
“Are you two…?” Patsy’s eyes lit up.
“No. No, we are not,” Carolanne said. Milly would have this whole town talking if she weren’t careful.
“You don’t have to make it sound so bad,” Connor said.
“You would make a cute little couple,” Patsy said. “Don’t you think, honey?”
“You think everyone makes a cute couple, dear,” Garrett’s dad said.
Milly piped in. “But she’s right this time. Pearl said so herself. You know Pearl was never wrong.” Milly pointed to the front of the church. “Just like those two. Once Pearl says you’re together, that’s it.”
“Or not,” Carolanne muttered under her breath.
Connor nudged her.
Carolanne glared in his direction. Don’t push your luck with me, Connor. You’re already on thin ice.
Reverend Burke marched up the aisle. “All right, everyone. This will only take a couple minutes, but let’s run through it once for good measure.”
In fifteen minutes they’d already walked down the aisle twice and hummed the wedding march, while the organist had found a way to tell the kids to keep pace to the music that kept them from running down the aisle. It would be anybody’s bet whether they’d remember that tomorrow, though.
Connor and Garrett went out to get the big box of ribbons from the back of the Malloys’ car. It was the first chance Carolanne had had to breathe since Connor had gotten there. Just having him in the same room was enough to make her feel jumpy.
Once the guys dropped the box at the end of the aisle, they went back outside, leaving the girls to work on decorating the pews.
Carolanne handed Patsy a ribbon and then scooched the box with her foot. “Is there anything else we need to do tonight?”
Jill picked up another ribbon and fastened it on the opposite pew. “We’re in good shape. We can come get ready here tomorrow since we’re the first wedding. Patsy said she’d bring us breakfast and have coffee ready for us.”
Carolanne felt a little useless, and she was quickly realizing that when Jill got married, it was going to change their relationship, and that made her sad. Or maybe it was just everything piling up on her at once.
“I’ll make a breakfast casserole. You need something in your stomach in the morning, or the nerves will get to you.” Patsy looked at Milly for confirmation.
“She’s right, and her breakfast casserole is the best,” Milly agreed.
They placed the last two ribbons on the pews, and then Mrs. Markham from the bed-and-breakfast up the road came in to announce that the dinner was ready to be served.
“Perfect timing,” Patsy called out to her. “I’ll get the gentlemen.”
“Great. I’m starved,” Jill said.
When Carolanne opened the door to the meeting room in the new wing of the church, she and Jill both paused to take it all in.
“It looks beautiful,” Carolanne remarked.
Candle flames licked the air under glass globes, and the fine china and silver glistened in the candlelight.
Soft music played and the smells coming from the kitchen seemed five-star for sure.
Patsy Malloy led a parade of men and children into the room.
“Patsy, you’ve outdone yourself,” Jill said.
Carolanne stepped out of the way as Patsy slid into the chair next to Jill that she’d started to sit in herself. Carolanne maneuvered to the far side of the table and tugged Milly by the hand to sit on her other side to keep Connor from sitting there. She wasn’t ready to be that close to Connor in a nearly dark room.
She caught the look on Connor’s face. He was clearly disappointed. Just as well. If he thought there was going to be anything long term between the two of them, then he was going to be disappointed eventually. She wasn’t going to put herself at risk for the kind of breakdown her daddy had had. It just wasn’t something she was willing to test. Distance was the best remedy for now.
As everyone finished their dinner, Connor stood up and cleared his throat. “I know we said we weren’t going to do toasts and all that, but I do want us to raise a glass for Jill and Garrett.”
Everyone lifted their glasses.
“First, thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Malloy, for a wonderful dinner. Garrett, I’ve known you since grade school, and even then, you were pinky-swearing with Jill under the monkey bars. I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone in this town that the two of you are getting married. Love isn’t just about gazing into each other’s eyes day after day after day after day…”
Everyone laughed, and Connor continued. “Well, you get the idea. Real love is about looking outward together, toward your dreams, and working together to make them come true. You two are doing that.”
Connor glanced in Carolanne’s direction.
A flicker of apprehension coursed through her, and Connor’s mouth pulled into a sly smile, like he could tell what effect he had on her.
He then nodded to Jill and Garrett. “I can only hope to have as lovely, graceful, and smart a woman as you do by my side someday. May your good luck rub off on us all. Salut.”
Garrett raised his glass. “Guess I know who’ll be diving for the garter tomorrow!”
Jill raised her glass toward Carolanne and gave her a nod.
Carolanne wished her glass had been filled with something other than water—something that would knock her out. What is this? A conspiracy?
Everyone pushed back from the table, and Mrs. Markham whisked in to clear the dishes.
“Mrs. Markham, you outdid yourself. This was an amazing meal,” Jill said. “Thank you so much.”
Franny Markham beamed. “It was my pleasure, Jill. I appreciate y’all letting me live out my little fantasy of being a caterer. It was as fun as I thought it would be.”
Carolanne said, “This was as nice as the five-star restaurants in New York City.”
Everyone chimed in with appreciation, and the hugs and good-byes ensued with a flurry of excitement about the big day tomorrow.
Carolanne couldn’t wait to get home and crawl into bed. She went straight to her car and slid behind the steering wheel, but just as she went to close the door, Connor stiff-armed it. He stepped between the door and her seat, filling the space.
“Not even going to say good night?”
“We did,” she said.
“I mean you—to me.”
“Good night, Connor.”
He stooped down. “Are you mad at me? You’ve barely said a word to me all night.”
Please. You don’t know why I’m upset? Fine. We’ll play
games. “Why would I be mad at you?”
Connor lolled his head back. “Oh no, you don’t. Don’t turn that back around on me.”
“Fine. Then don’t play coy with me.” She pressed her lips together. “Yeah, I’m a little miffed.”
“Is that like a little pregnant?”
“Hardly.” She twisted the key in the ignition, but Connor didn’t budge. “Look, I know you were close with your parents, and I know you don’t get how I feel about my dad, but you can’t just start dragging him into the office on some stupid pretense and throw him in my face, hoping for the best.”
Connor stood quiet. “It did go pretty well.”
“It’s not your business.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you were going to be in the office. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to pull anything.”
“Not. Your. Business.” She pulled the lever into drive.
“I’m sorry. Believe me. But you’re my friend and my business partner, and he’s my friend, too. I think that makes it a little my business.” Connor stood, put his arm on the roof of the car, and peered down toward her. “Tell me the truth. Is this about Ben, or is this about the kiss?”
She winced like he’d stuck her with a dart.
“I thought it was a pretty fine kiss. I’d do it again.”
“Don’t you dare.” The heat she felt could be passion or fury, but either way, it wasn’t his to take. “We’re business partners, and that kiss was a mistake.”
“It didn’t feel like a mistake to me.”
“I can’t do that, Connor.”
“I felt something. You felt something, too. I could tell,” he said.
“Don’t stick your nose in my business with my dad, and don’t kiss me again. I didn’t like it like that.” Not so, her heart argued. “Let’s do ourselves a favor and just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“Calm down,” Connor said. “Come on. It’s not as bad as you’re making it.”
“Don’t.” She raised a hand and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you tell me what I feel.”