by Ebony Olson
Ewan didn't look surprised. "When?"
"A month ago."
Ewan's eyebrows went up. "Shit, I expected you two to hook up, it's why I backed off," he admitted. I frowned at him. "You moved in with the guy, Mora. We all expected it considering he is helping raise Jacob."
"We were only ever friends," I grumbled.
Ewan's shoulders dropped and he sat beside me. "Okay, so Zander met someone. Are you jealous?"
"No. Yes," I cringed. "He's moving out, and I don't want that. I love having him there. He's great with Jacob, walks around naked, and gives me the most amazing back massages..."
"Got the gist, feeling sufficiently inadequate. I can clearly assume the problem is that you are basically married without the sex," Ewan cut me off with a grin. The smile vanished, pure worry shining through. "It had to happen eventually, Mora."
"I know, but, I'm going to miss him. I've gotten used to living with him and having Warren and Sophie there all the time," I admitted. "It's going to be lonely without him."
Ewan's brows lifted high, and you could see his caution with the next question. "Are you scared to be alone?"
I shook my head. "No, I've lived alone before, but I was so focused on work then, I was barely there."
"So, it's the potential of not having a sexy guy, who's good with his hands, walking around your house naked to perv on anymore that's the problem? Cause if it is, I can totally take over from him," Ewan smirked. "I'll even rub you down."
I smiled and elbowed him. "No, and no!" Ewan and his girlfriend broke up a few weeks back.
Ewan put his arm around my shoulders. "Maybe living by yourself with Jacob will be good for you?"
"Maybe," I sighed. "Still makes me feel alone."
Ewan squeezed me. "I know what will make you feel better." I could hear the smile in his voice. "We could have sex, right here and now."
I elbowed him. "You just want to get laid since your ex didn't believe in sex before marriage."
Ewan turned my face to his. "Never. I care about you, Mora, and I hate to see you hurting."
I frowned at him uncertainly and then saw that twinkle in his eye. "You shit! Do not go using that rock star sleaze on me. I'm your muse, not your..."
Ewan put his hand over my mouth. "You can't hate me for trying, Mora." Ewan stood up. "I came with Andrew, so I better get going. I'll see you tomorrow. Try and cheer up a little bit before then." He opened the door. "My offer still stands to make an honest woman out of you," he winked and left me to it.
I took a deep breath, stood up, and picked up my cello. When I reached the hall, instead of turning right for the exit, I turned left for the rehearsal room. Jacob was upstairs with Jeremy in his office. I'd been leaving my cello in his office all week to save myself from trying to carry both home.
As I approached the rehearsal room, an angry voice came down the stairs in front of me, causing me to pause and look up at the descending people.
"...not acceptable. Jeremy trusts you to coordinate with my people and keep us informed if your talent can't meet their commitments. Sending my coordination manager an email at eight o'clock this morning to tell us that your singer can no longer perform at tonight’s event is bullshit," Darius fumed.
"No, you coming over here personally to tell my boss that I'm incompetent and I'm to be taken off dealing with your company is bullshit, Mr. Rafal," Theresa, the middle-aged agent, scowled back at him. "I deal with creative talent who are unreliable and flighty at best. Yelling at me that a performer refuses to honor her contracts is not going to solve the problem. Coming here personally to try and get me fired definitely won't."
"I don't trust you to solve the problem, Theresa. This is the third time in a matter of months this has happened. Three strikes and you're..."
I turned the handle for the rehearsal room, wanting to get out of the hall as they reached halfway down the stairs. Theresa's head turned to look at who was witnessing her humiliation. Her sudden loss of attention drew Darius's eyes my way too, and that's when his words failed him. Theresa recovered first as I stepped into the room.
"You've made your feelings perfectly clear, Mr. Rafal. I wish you better luck with whoever is unfortunate enough to get you as a client next," Theresa fumed.
I shut the door on the sound of her heels clapping on the timber stairs as she went back up to the offices. I was putting my cello in its case when I heard the door open behind me. I didn't turn around, I didn't need to.
***
"You look exhausted," Darius remarked behind me as he closed the door.
"I've been recording all week with Denial again. Late nights working on new songs with Ewan, then all day in the studio," I answered honestly. "This will be my first day at home before eight this week."
"I'll give you a lift," Darius decided.
I shook my head. "Jeremy is taking me."
"Is he now?" Darius growled.
I turned to look at him. "He is a friend and my boss, Dare. That's all. We have to discuss the christening details so he's giving me a lift home to save time." I swallowed. "Thank you for being prompt getting those Carnival contracts to me."
Darius walked forward, his hand cuffing around the back of my neck. "I'm angry."
"I heard," I acknowledged as Darius walked us back a meter to the wall.
"I'm going to fuck you hard," Darius warned, a growl in his voice.
I swallowed. "I'm not prepared for this," I warned back, barely a whisper.
Darius lifted my dress to my waist. "I don't care."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Darius crushed his lips to mine as he lifted my thighs to his waist and put my back to the wall. I reached between us to release his already throbbing monster, moving my panties to the side as I guided him in. I'd grown wet the moment I heard his voice as that's what he did to my body, but it still took my breath away when he shoved into me and met that first clench of resistance.
Darius was angry right now, and he had no issue fucking me aggressively When my body didn't open to him straightaway, he forced it. I cried out, gripping his shoulders with my fingers. I felt Darius cringe, but I didn't relax my grip. If he was going to dish it out, he would have to take it as well.
Darius held me firmly, pounding into me hard. I winced when he went too deep and pain mixed with the pleasure. I didn't try and pull back though. I needed this. I needed to let the hurt of losing him, of losing any chance of making me forget him, out. I wanted to feel my blood flow free from my body, feel my emotions escape. I bit my lip hard just as Darius went too deep within me again. I cried out and gripped his shoulders tighter.
"Jesus, Mora!" Darius grimaced in pain, my fingers digging into him. "Fucking cellists." He pulled away, turned me quickly to face the wall, then pushed into me from behind. He stepped back, taking my hips with him to force me into a back bend, then he gripped my hips and vented his frustrations on me.
I cried out his name as the pain started to override the pleasure. I tried to pull away. Darius landed a hard smack to my rear.
"Take it, Mora. I don't care what you have to do, but don't stop me again," Darius growled.
That demand nearly undid me, combined with the sting still reverberating through my body from his slap. I released one arm from the wall and slapped my clit hard. I cursed as pleasure mounted.
Darius groaned and I knew he was close. Even if he hadn't groaned, the feel of being stretched open as he grew bigger, of him continuously hitting the other end with his sheer size now, told me he was close. I slapped my clit again, and my legs nearly collapsed under the onslaught of pleasure. Pinching my clit hard, I cried out Darius's name and came, my voice cutting out the moment the orgasm impacted.
Darius moaned and I felt his rhythm break as he released his angst into me. "Oh God, Mora," he murmured as he stilled inside of me.
I started to collapse, my legs not willing to hold me up anymore. Darius slipped his arm around my waist to take my weight while he withdrew. He tucked himself away, righ
ted my underwear for me, and then helped me over to the lounge to sit down. My hand went to my abdomen and I curled over in discomfort.
Darius caressed my cheek, his thumb rubbing over my bleeding lip. I could see he wanted to say more, but he held his tongue. He kissed me, gently. His tongue licked and sucked at my bleeding lip. I suddenly didn't care about the pain I felt downstairs anymore.
"Mora, are you in here?" The door opened and Jeremy came in with Jacob in his arms. His eyes went wide, taking in Darius kneeling before me, his mouth just pulling back from mine. "Crap. Sorry."
"It's okay." I pulled farther back from Darius.
Darius stood up, looking guilty as hell. He looked at the baby in Jeremy's arms and frowned. "That's not Ashelynn?"
"Ah, no. This little boy belongs to one of my employees," Jeremy covered. "I was just coming to see if Mora could take him while I go to the bathroom and get ready to go." Darius watched as Jeremy walked over and handed Jacob off to me. "He's getting antsy, probably ready for a feed," Jeremy murmured.
I flicked my eyes to Darius as I held Jacob ready to feed, just waiting to get Darius out of the room.
Jeremy looked at Darius. "You two discussed the christening?"
Darius looked at me. "Not yet, but I'll think we'll be fine."
Jeremy smirked, "Ahuh. I'll be back in a few minutes, Mora." Jeremy stood up, grabbing my cello case. "I'll lock this in my office for you."
"Thanks, Jeremy." I gave him a false smile as he walked out.
Jacob started nuzzling my covered breast and making sucking sounds. Darius laughed. "Can't blame you, little one, as I love sucking on them too."
"Dare!" I scolded.
Darius smiled. "The christening…I'm getting a hotel room for the night since it's out of town." Darius paused to consider me a moment. "Spend the night with me."
I closed my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to spend a night with him. I'd wanted to see out my life spending my nights in his arms.
"I'll consider it," I replied.
I wouldn't give a definite yes. I was still breastfeeding, and I'd need to get a babysitter for the night. Jacob started to cry. He could smell his food and didn't know why I wasn't giving it to him.
"Shh, honey. Mama will feed you in a minute." I got up and bounced him while I walked around the rehearsal room, giving him my knuckle to suck on instead, and he quieted for a moment.
"You're going to make a great mother one day." Darius gave me a sad smile.
I stopped and stared at him. Darius read the look.
"Mora, the day you tell me you are going to be a mother, I am going to hate whoever the father is, because it should have been me."
I looked down at Jacob in my arms; he was starting to cry again. Darius wasn't leaving and my child was hungry. With a sigh, I looked at Darius. "He's mine."
Darius frowned, unsure what I meant, but his eyes went wide as I pulled the stretchy top of my dress down, unclipped my maternity bra, and put Jacob to my breast. Jacob latched on and started making his happy noises while he fed.
Darius looked floored and ready to murder someone at the same time. "You're a mother?"
"I found myself pregnant shortly after you left me. It's why I had to stop performing last year."
"Who is the father?" Darius growled.
I swallowed and felt the tears prickle my eyes that he didn't even consider the possibility it was his. Jacob had his hair and eyes for crying out loud. "He's not in the picture."
Darius's face turned red with anger. "He got you pregnant and left?"
I raised a brow that he had the nerve to be angry about this. "You married me and ditched me an hour later with no explanation. You gave up any right to know what happened in my life the moment you did that, Dare. You didn't care what happened to me after. You didn't call to make sure I was okay. You didn't have the balls to tell me why you broke my heart. You threw me aside like a used dishcloth and went on with your life," I scowled. "You don't get to make an uninformed judgment about anything that happened to me in the weeks that followed."
Darius opened his mouth and closed it. His eyes went to Jacob suckling at my breast. "You hid this from me." Darius looked at the closed door. "Does Jeremy know who the father is?"
"Yes," I answered hesitantly. "The people who were there for me when you broke my heart all know, Dare. I don't think I could have gotten through the last twelve months without them."
Darius looked really mad. "Was it the drummer you wrote the songs with?"
"Why do you need to know?" I asked.
"So it is him?" Darius stepped forward, the angriest I've ever seen him.
"No. I was pregnant before I went on tour," I defended. Jacob jumped at me raising my voice. I turned my face away as the tears flowed. "It's why I went away. I didn't want you to know how badly you broke me when you left me, Dare."
Darius stepped back as if someone took a swing at him. "You were missing for three days. This," Darius gestured to Jacob. "It happened then, didn't it? Warren told me when you came back you wouldn't get out of bed except to play the cello. You weren't eating or taking care of yourself, you just lay down to die."
"I..." I took a deep breath, trying to chase the tears back. "This child is the best thing that could have happened to me, Dare. I'd given up. I cared about nothing or no one, and a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant." I met his eyes. I could see every emotion flowing through them. "Sophie tried to convince me to have an abortion. I went to aerial, unsure what I was going to do, and fell. I knew then that I wanted this child, and he is the reason I got my life back together." I smiled down at my son, "Jacob saved me."
"Jacob?" Darius choked. "You chose the name Jacob?"
I nodded, seeing the anger reach a new level in Darius. His shoulders slumped and he looked like his world just fell down around him.
"You could have told me. Any of the times we...saw each other since it happened. You could have told me you were pregnant in Glasgow, told me you had a baby even last month, instead you just said responsibilities. You kept this from me on purpose," Darius accused.
"Yes, because you didn't even try to fight for me," I spat. "One day you will wake up and feel so alone and, in that moment, you will remember that you chose money over love. You chose money over having a family, with me." I looked at Jacob. "I chose love, Dare, and I'm never going to regret that for a single day."
Darius's face fell.
The door opened and Jeremy walked in. "Dare, you're still here?" Jeremy's eyes went to me feeding Jacob and the tears in my eyes. "And you know..."
"Yes." Darius pulled his shoulders back, and I watched a mask slide over his face. "I know." Darius stormed out, pushing past Jeremy as he did.
Jeremy shut the door. "You didn't tell him?"
I shook my head. "It didn't once occur to him that Jacob was his." The tears streamed down like a river to the ocean.
Jeremy looked at me with pity. "He's going to be flipping out about the idea of someone else getting you pregnant, Mora."
"Yes, he did," I sighed as Jacob stopped suckling. "Can you call Warren and give him the heads up. Dare is going to need to vent, and when he finds out all his friends knew but him, he's going to lose it."
Jeremy pulled out his phone as he opened the door. "Not as bad as he will when he finds out even his sister knew." Jeremy stepped out, closing the door.
I looked down at Jacob as I sat him up to burp him. "So, that was your father, Jacob. What do you think?"
Jacob smiled and then released the biggest burp. I smiled, fixing my clothes up. "Yeah, he can be an ass sometimes."
Chapter Eight
"What's going on?" Zander came in, frowning. "Why is Jacob screaming the place down?"
"He's hungry," I snapped, crying as I warmed his bottle. I'd been expressing after most feeds, so I had a stash for when Dad or Zander babysat.
"So feed him. Why are you wasting time making a bottle?" Zander asked, picking Jacob up from his play mat on the floor.
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"I can't," I yelled, crying harder. "My milk stopped."
Zander frowned. "What?"
I grabbed the bottle from the warmer and checked the temperature before handing it to Zander. Zander took the bottle, offering it to Jacob before taking a seat. I sat opposite him.
"I've noticed my flow reducing for the last few days, my milk changing. This morning it was just gone," I explained.
"That's not right. Women can breastfeed for years. Supply and demand. How has your milk just stopped?" Zander asked worried.
I put my face in my hands and started crying fully.
"Shit!" Zander set Jacob down in his play cot with the bottle. He could hold it himself now and wasn't far off crawling. Zander sat beside me and put his arm around me. "We should go see the nurse..."
"I did. Today," I sobbed. "She asked me a few questions, determined the cause. I did a test. She was right."
"Okay. So why did your milk stop?" Zander asked gently.
"I'm pregnant," I whispered.
Zander paused a moment. "I'm sorry. I missed that between sobs. Why?"
"I'm pregnant!" I yelled. I stood up and walked to the window.
I saw Zander frown in the reflection of the window. "I thought you weren't seeing anyone?" Zander stood up moving towards me. "The only person you've slept with since having Jacob is Dare, right?"
I turned, moving to Jacob to check he was okay. He was happy now that he had his bottle.
"Mora?" Zander took my arm, moving me away from Jacob. "Is this his baby too?"
I looked away, tears flowing faster. "Two weeks ago, he came to the studio on business. He was angry about a stuff-up. He used me to vent that anger," I confessed.
"The same day he found out about Jacob?" Zander asked. Warren had told him. Darius had been a nightmare to deal with the last two weeks.
I nodded my head. "What am I going to do, Zander?" I pleaded for him to have the answer. "I can handle Jacob by myself when you move out, but I'm going to have two under two."
Zander sighed and hugged me tight for several minutes. "We're going to call Jeremy and tell him that you are pregnant by your husband again."
Zander and Warren knew now. It was registered with the government, so when Darius's accountant started preparing to do Darius's tax and that of the company's, Warren had found out and had to bury it. He'd let it go through because Jacob actually provided a tax break for Darius, but he'd been on my doorstep asking me how I was still married within the hour.