by Michael Kern
Staying with body sensations
Because traumatization is essentially a physiological process and not just a psychological one, tracking sensations in the body can help us stay in touch with any experiences and prevent dissociation. Staying with sensations involves a deep trust in our instinctive responses and a sufficient feeling of safety and containment to be able to follow them. Someone who is severely dissociated, however, may have great difficulty in doing this. That’s fine, because dissociation is an intelligent protective response that may need to be explored before being ready to come back into an awareness of body sensation.
Staying in touch with sensations can be cultivated by developing what Professor Eugene Gendlin (the developer of Focusing) calls our “felt sense.”30 This is the bodily sense of how we experience something. It is a feeling that may be composed of physical sensations, emotional tones and images. Franklyn Sills describes it as an inner realm “which allows access to how we hold meaning in an embodied way.”31 Gendlin found that psychotherapy patients who were able to access their felt sense progressed far better than those who just talked about what they were feeling.
During the course of this kind of exploration, sensations such as: discomfort, trembling, relaxation, tingling, nerviness, contraction, sleepiness, nausea, lumps in the throat, warmth, heat or cold may arise. As energy starts to get mobilized, certain urges may also start to be experienced. Patients may feel an urge to clench their fists, to kick their legs, to push with their arms, to curl up or run out the door. Acknowledging these urges can be an important step in the process of reassociation. Sensing and realizing these options can feel empowering as people start to experience their available strengths and choices. In this way the body’s sensations can become a resource in the process of trauma resolution.
As long as someone is in touch with his or her felt sense, the transformation of traumatic symptoms can more easily progress. If during this process a person moves into a dissociative state, he or she can be encouraged to gently reconnect with the felt sense once again. This process of reassociation helps the resolution of trauma to continue and complete. As Dr. Peter Levine affirms, “Body sensation, rather than intense emotion, is the key to healing trauma.”32
Reassociating
A patient who had fallen seven feet from a ladder and injured his shoulder and back started to experience a trembling in his body during a craniosacral treatment. This trembling was noticeable first in his solar plexus and then in his legs. However, he found it difficult to stay with these sensations as it brought him a lot of anxiety. He reached a point when he went into a shutdown and seemed to disappear. I asked him, “What’s your sense of where are you just now?” He replied, “I feel like I’m floating somewhere up by the ceiling!” I asked, “How do you feel up there?” “It’s quite nice!” he replied. I suggested that he should stay there for as long as he needed, and also reassured him that his shaking was just a natural process of shock discharging from his nervous system. Even though he was dissociated, he was quite present with this fact. After a few minutes, he started to feel ready to come back into an awareness of his body. He was able to take a few deep breaths and begin to notice the sensations of trembling in his legs once more. Little by little, as he felt sufficiently resourced, he allowed these sensations to move through him. As he did this, the shaking increased and he was able to allow this process to complete. Once this shock had discharged from his system, his back and shoulder symptoms improved within forty-eight hours.
Being present
The ability to have an awareness of present time seems vital for the process of trauma healing. It can be important to recognize that although a trauma may be restimulated during craniosacral treatment, it’s usually not the case that real danger exists in the present. However, when a trauma pattern is encountered, because of the difficult sensations that can be evoked, there is a tendency to lose sense of where we are by either spacing out or spinning into the vortex of the trauma. Being present involves being in touch with our sensations and having a sense of where we are. As we noted, it is only in the present that our health exists, and therefore where healing can occur.
For example, during a craniosacral therapy session, a patient of mine had the presence to recognize that she was feeling terror when she recalled the image of her abusing step-father entering her room. She was also quite aware that she was in my treatment room in present time and could orient to things around her in the room. In this recognition she was able to be with her terror rather than becoming it. She was able to stay with the sensations she felt in her body without becoming consumed by them or dissociating. As the sensations of terror, then disgust, anger and finally strength moved through her, she was able to stay with them, until the process of resolution was completed.
When present, it is possible to work with the delicate balance of staying with our sensations and not getting overwhelmed. The quality of a practitioner’s presence can be a valuable support for this balance, helping to provide containment and safety for the patient’s experience.
Slowing things down
When trauma patterns are restimulated, the sensations, feelings and images that arise are usually very powerful and can easily become overwhelming again. Like a dam ready to burst, there is a tendency for too much to happen too quickly and for a person to slip into states of hyperarousal. However, if the sluices of a dam are opened slowly, the water can then flow out without any problem.
To illustrate this principle, you can take a bottle of fizzy drink and shake it vigorously. If you then open the top, the drink will burst out and spill everywhere. However, if you open the top just a little and then close it again, some of the pressure will discharge without the drink spilling. If you then repeat this opening and closing a number of times, all the pressure will discharge, a little at a time, without the occurrence of any spillage or overwhelm.33
When a trauma is re-experienced, a process of slow renegotiation needs to occur to prevent overwhelm from occurring again.34 This renegotiation involves moving back into relationship with the trauma in small and manageable portions. This may sometimes involve putting on the brakes when things go too fast.35 If we can take things slowly, we will be able to process even substantial degrees of traumatization—bit by bit, in a progressive way. As hyperarousal states are usually marked by rapid and shallow breathing, taking some slow and deep breaths is one effective way to slow down the process. This can help to prevent spinning out of control in a dissociated state.
Having a sense of space
A sense of space in relationship to the trauma is also needed so that the patient can work with it, rather than becoming it. This can obviate any tendency to get sucked into cycles of retraumatization and overwhelm. Therefore, when a trauma pattern is accessed it’s helpful to stay on the edge of it, rather than just diving in. From the edge, it is then possible to work with a little at a time. As this is done, the edge can move and some more of the trauma-bound forces can be worked with.
Accessing a place inside from where we can observe our sensations without getting too drawn into them enables us to witness things with a sense of space. This inner witness is not an emotion or an attitude, but a state of awareness that can register sensations and emotions impartially and without judgement. Developing an inner witness can help to relate to powerful forces that would otherwise be overwhelming.
Facilitating the discharge of shock
The imploded energies associated with traumatization can be considerable. Nevertheless they may be transformed safely and effectively simply by following the wisdom in the body and its needs. When the conditions are ripe (when resources are present), our instinctual responses—which may have become thwarted and overwhelmed—are able to progress towards a point of completion. This involves the discharge of any held-in shock.
When shock discharges from the body, it tends to come out in the form of trembling, twitching or shaking. Typically, this trembling can be palpated in the patient’s cereb
rospinal fluid and central nervous system. Larger movements may then start, often in the limbs, and perhaps spread through the whole body. This shaking is a sign that the body is dissipating its shock. While this is happening, tissue memories may also come to the surface. Simply allowing and going with this process will enable it to complete.
Sense of achievement
When we are able to move through trauma, we may rightly feel a sense of achievement. We will perhaps have stared death in the face, confronted our deepest fears, and discovered our own instinctual abilities and sense of power in the process. We may then be in a position to change our habitual and conditioned responses, and find new ways to meet life’s demands—ways that are not dictated by perpetuated patterns of traumatization. Moreover, because each one of us will have experienced traumatization and suffering in some shape or form, it is a journey to wholeness in which we all can participate.
10
PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND CHILDREN
Ships go East and ships go West
Blown by the self-same gale
It is not the gale, but the set of the sail
That directs the way they shall go.1
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX
START OF LIFE
The Breath of Life inspires
The eternal womb of the
Divine Mother
Who conceives and gives birth
to the promise of God in every being.
Thus our well is eternal
The Breath of Life fills us
Again and again.2
HAVEN TREVINO
Effects of birth
The birth process is one of the most formative events of our lives. It can be a time of immense joy and opportunity for parents and babies, as well as a time of difficulties and stress. We have to undergo considerable forces of compression in the journey through our mothers’ pelvises to be born. This can have a great impact on the functioning of the primary respiratory system in either beneficial or not-so beneficial ways; the process of birth may create patterning that remains with us into adulthood. If you consider a young tree that grows with a prevailing wind blowing on one side, the whole tree will become inclined in that direction. The same thing happens in the human body. If we undergo stresses and strains during our birth that are not resolved, our whole structure grows in relationship to these influences.3
The retention of strains introduced during birth is actually a frequent occurrence. When cranial osteopath Dr. Viola Frymann conducted research in San Diego, she found that eighty-eight percent of the 1,250 babies who were examined showed evidence of birth trauma.4
Early consciousness
Historically, there has been a common belief that somehow babies are incapable of registering or remembering their feelings. Even up until the early part of the twentieth century, surgery was frequently carried out on babies without the use of anesthetic drugs and in some places procedures such as circumcision are still performed in this way. However, anyone who has had the opportunity to observe how a baby responds to its experiences will understand just how sensitive they actually are. As obstetrician Dr. Frederick Leboyer explains, “Blindly, madly, we assume that the newborn baby feels nothing. In fact, he feels … everything. Everything, totally, completely, utterly, and with a sensitivity we can’t even begin to imagine.”5
Furthermore, there is now a growing acknowledgement that even a tiny ball of developing cells soon after conception possesses the faculty of consciousness. At this very early stage, these cells can be seen to contract in response to stimuli in their environment—and it may be that consciousness starts even before this. A remarkable degree of primordial awareness is indicated by the numerous accounts of people who have been able to recall accurately memories of their conception under hypnosis.6 In craniosacral work too, there are many instances of patients accessing memories of early embryological experiences.7 There can be little doubt that the developing embryo and fetus is a delicate and responsive being who, on a sensate level, is acutely aware of the nature and quality of its circumstances.
PRE-BIRTH
Home is the place from which I have come and to which I return. Home is where I always am. All circumstances call me to new steps in the dance. All sickness points me there. All sickness is homesickness. All healing is homecoming.8
DIANNE M. CONNELLY
Resourcing
Before we move further into looking at some ways that early experiences can influence our lives, it’s worth noting how easily this subject can restimulate any of our own patterns of stress or trauma if they are there. Over years of working with and teaching this subject, it has become apparent that even just talking about early trauma can bring up feelings and sensations that relate to our own situation.
As we go through some of the different issues that can arise, take a little time to notice the sensations in your own body. If you start to feel activated, it may be that you are resonating with something being discussed. You may then want to take a break or do an exercise such as closing your eyes and connecting with a good sensation in your body to find a resource (see Chapter 9, “A resourcing exercise (2)”). Then take some time to resource yourself.
An orientating exercise
The following exercise may also be helpful if you are feeling disorientated or unsteady. This orientating exercise can be given by craniosacral practitioners during treatment; I have found it useful if any birth trauma becomes restimulated when working with older children and adults. It also helps to develop an inner witness and act as a reminder of where we are in present time.
Sit comfortably with your back supported. Settle into this position. Your eyes can remain either open or closed. See if you can get a sense of your midline—an organizing axis running from top to bottom through the center of your body. Then bring your attention to the front part of your body and remind yourself that this is your front. Feel the back part of your body and note that this is your back. Then feel the top of your head, followed by your feet. Feel your left side, followed by your right side. Finally, bring your attention to the inside of your body and then to the outside. Again repeat the sequence, pausing for just a few seconds at each place so that you can re-orientate to each direction: midline, front-back, top-bottom, left-right, inside-outside.
You can use this exercise as frequently as you like. When you get used to it, it only takes a minute.
Levels of patterning
It has long been acknowledged in psychotherapy that our early life experiences have a major impact on our later emotional development. Many psychologists are now realizing that the time prior to birth is also of great importance.9,10,11,12 Dr. William Emerson, one of the world’s authorities on pre-natal trauma, has identified key experiences that go back to the very beginning of our lives and influence the patterning of both mind and body.
Expanding on the previous theory that it is our first few years that are the most formative, he takes this idea back to the time of our conception. The period from conception to birth has been called the time of primary patterning.13 It is here that the foundations are set for the way in which we develop and function. Experiences during this period serve as a core layer of conditioning.
Secondary patterning is what happens from the time of birth to about the age of five.
Finally, tertiary patterning is what happens from the age of five onwards. As our physiological and psychological tendencies are initially organized during the period of primary patterning, any later patterning can be seen as mainly an overlay or reaction to this.14
Roots of experience
The very roots of our conditioning are found in early experiences. As much of our patterning has been completed by the time we are able to speak, the memories of these experiences cannot primarily be accessed through words, but in the language of the body and its sensations. Even though thoughts and feelings may become associated with these experiences, they are largely remembered in our tissues. Therefore, the tools for the resolution of these patterns can be fou
nd more in our physiology than our psychology.
Some of the more common experiences that can arise during pregnancy are considered in the next sections.
Conception and ignition
At the time of conception, a magical moment happens as the spark of life enters the fertilized egg, initiating the onset of life into form. An original fulcrum is formed immediately after conception through which the organizing potencies of the Breath of Life first become expressed. This original fulcrum, the site of our primary energy center, is thought to be later located at the third ventricle.
The initial spark of life, referred to as primary ignition, is essentially produced by the action of the long tide which becomes embodied in the fluids of the conceptus and lays down an organizing blueprint. This blueprint organizes the cellular differentiation and development of the embryo and provides a supremely intelligent ordering force operating through the fluids throughout life. The process of ignition is fundamental to the health of the developing baby; if it becomes dampened down or sluggish at any stage, various types of developmental problems can result. This commonly occurs because of trauma or toxicity. It’s noteworthy that many problems relating to the process of ignition can be accessed through treatment at the third ventricle.