by Bart King
But just because you NEED more sleep doesn’t mean you GET it. The average sixth grade girl averages 8 hours of sleep a night. The average eighth grade girl gets 7 hours, 17 minutes of sleep. This trend of getting less sleep continues throughout high school. Students who get less sleep report feeling grumpy and getting worse grades. In the worst cases, people not getting enough sleep get headaches, forget things, and even gain weight. So take care of yourself and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
*The same study found that people who exercise regularly also sleep the best.
You don’t dream the whole time you’re asleep. Some adults only dream about 25 percent of their sleep time. Research also shows that people who fall asleep with the television on don’t have as much REM sleep as normal. In other words, their sleep is like junk food; not very healthy.
You usually learn by an early age that what you’re dreaming about isn’t real, so you don’t do it in “real life.” (This is one reason why you don’t have to wear diapers anymore!) But some people do things like talking or walking in their sleep. The strangest case of sleepwalking by a girl happened in 2003. A girl in Connecticut named Felicia Gonzalez cleaned her room while asleep. Unbelievable!
*Boys sleepwalk more than girls, but they never clean their rooms while doing so. (Of course, boys don’t clean their rooms while awake, either.)
Sleepwalking happens during the deepest stages of sleep. Sleepwalkers are often confused when they wake up outside of their bed, but it is okay to wake them. Just gently take them by the arm and guide them back to bed. Sleep disorders can sometimes combine with eating. The girl will be asleep, get out of bed, go into the kitchen, and start eating. She may eat odd things: spaghetti sauce, dog biscuits, frozen peas, and so forth.
Where Do Dreams Come From?
“Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them.”
—Josie Biset
Are they messages from the future? Could be! Are they messages from a hamster? Probably not! Here are some of the places where dreams can come from:
Your Body If you are hungry, but you’re asleep, you may have dreams of eating food . . . lots of food! It never seems to fill you up, though. Dream food is famous for being low in calories. WARNING! If you have to pee while you’re asleep, you may find yourself looking for a restroom in your dream. It’s usually better if you don’t find one. That’s because if you do find a dream restroom and you use it, you might use it while you’re dreaming . . . and then wake up with wet sheets! Talk about nightmares!
Your Surroundings Where you sleep can change your dreams. For example, if you are dreaming about being really hot in the middle of the desert, you may wake up later and find that you are all tangled up in your blankets and you’re sweating. Or if there is a dog a few houses down barking, you may dream about a barking dog. You can hear it in “real” life, but since it isn’t loud enough to wake you up, your mind uses the material for a dream.
Recent Memories When you fall asleep, the memories of the day will stick with you. So if you went to school, you might have school dreams. The most common school dreams involve forgetting your locker combination, finding out that there is a huge test that you didn’t study for, not being able to find the right classroom, and being a teacher’s pet.
Sometimes, what you saw (or were thinking about) just before you go to sleep is what your mind uses for dream stories. So if there is an important drama or conflict going on in your life, it will probably show up in a dream.
Wish Fulfillment Anything can happen in a dream. That means that you may have a dream where you are holding hands with that cute somebody you have a crush on. This is called wish fulfillment; you are fulfilling your own wish! Because you get to be your own genie, these dreams can be about anything you want. It might be raining money, or you might be shopping for expensive clothes, or maybe you found a really great loofah.
Random Shuffle Your mind sometimes ransacks your old memories for ideas. That’s why you might dream about that time in kindergarten when you dressed like a ballerina and brought a penguin for show-and-tell.
Meaningful Dreams You can learn interesting things about yourself by thinking about your dreams. Dreams can teach us about our “real” feelings that we sometimes hide from ourselves when we are awake. Try keeping a dream journal by your bed. When you wake up, write down whatever you can remember from your dreams. But be quick: If you don’t write them down quickly, you will forget these dreams fast! Your “waking” mind wants to clean up and get the day started, and all those dream memories get swept up and put in the trash. If you do write the dreams down promptly, you will notice certain patterns. (Why is the Popsicle always lime-flavored?) Also, it may help you to understand yourself a lot better than you do.
Funny Thought! Have you ever had a friend say something mean to you in a dream? And then the next day you’re mad at her in real life?
Nightmares
The thing about nightmares is that even though they are scary, it’s YOU who is scaring yourself in them. That’s right! Who do you think is writing the story for the nightmare? You are! Once you see nightmares that way, they don’t have quite as much power anymore.
The next time you are in a nightmare, think: What is the worst thing that could happen? For example, a boy once said that if you are falling in a dream and you land, “You will wake up dead.” We think you’ll agree that that is just silly. If you are falling in a dream, just let yourself land. You’ll bounce! If a monster is chasing you, stop running. Turn around and make friends with it. Or go for a pony ride together!
If you can change your dream while you are having it, it is called lucid dreaming. It means that you are in control. (Some people even think it’s a sign of good mental health.) But nobody can stop the night terrors. These are nightmares so horrible, the girl having them can only scream and scream and SCREAM! Once the girl is finally awake, she usually can’t remember anything about her dream. (Night terrors are rare in older kids, so you’ve probably outgrown them.)
*If you are still worried about nightmares, get a dream catcher. These were used by Native Americans to catch nightmares before they could get to the dreamer.
Dream Symbols and What They Might Mean
A symbol is just something that can stand for something else. For example, a happy face emoticon :) is just two dots and a curve, but it symbolizes laughter and humor. While an emoticon means just one thing, dream symbols can mean different things for different people. A dream about a poodle might be good for one girl (Here pretty doggie!) but bad for another (A poodle bit off my spleen two years ago!).
It is fun to try to figure out what your dream symbols may mean. For example, let’s say you dream you’re at the mall, but it is deserted and all the stores are closed. If the mall is a place where you normally hang out, this dream may mean that you are feeling lonely or unpopular. But if you don’t like crowds or shopping, this could be a good dream.
Keep in mind that a lot of dreams don’t mean anything at all. They are just random stories with weird details, such as “I was playing catch with an armadillo.” Other symbols in dreams are pretty obvious. And there are certain things that girls dream about that can have the same meanings for lots of people. Here are a few of them.
Baths and Water Water usually is pure, cleansing, and soothing. But if the water is really warm, you may be in hot water! Or if it’s deep, you may be “in over your head.”
Naked There are no secrets when you have no clothes. You feel exposed and embarrassed! If you’re just a little embarrassed, you might be in your pajamas.
Driving in Cars Who is driving? If you’re a passenger, this may show you feel you don’t have control over your life. Good sign: You are driving, and you are driving well. Bad sign: You are driving and you go over a cliff! Worst sign: Nobody is driving. Talk about no control! Common dream-driving problems include disappearing steering wheels, the brakes in the car going out, and no turn signals. See your dream auto mechanic to solve thes
e.
Falling Everyone gets these dreams, especially when they’re insecure or afraid. Maybe you feel that you have let yourself down or have fallen below the expectations that you have for yourself. Maybe you’re afraid of something that has happened or something you think will happen.
Flying Flying is usually a good sign! It shows that life is going well for you.
Phone Calls This may be a sign that you are trying to give yourself an important message. Pick up the phone and listen! And remember, weekends are free. (Warning: Caller ID is not always accurate in dreams.)
Someone Is Chasing You Who is chasing you? In about 10 percent of “getting chased” dreams, the person chasing you is just sort of a general “villain.” If it is someone you know, guess what? You feel threatened by that person. (We hope it isn’t your best friend!)
Kissing What can we tell you? If you find yourself kissing someone that you really like, this is a wish fulfillment dream! If it’s someone you dislike, it’s a nightmare . . . or a message that maybe you don’t dislike that person as much as you thought!
*Scientists still have not figured out why you always run in slow motion when you are being chased in a dream. They have a theory that there is too much quicksand in Dreamland. Another theory is that since you can’t move your big muscles (like your legs) when you are asleep, you feel paralyzed in your dream. Luckily, this prevents you from running with scissors in your dreams, thus preventing serious accidents.
Practical Jokes
“The best tasting foods are fattening. The best clothes are overpriced. My best friend likes the same boy who I like. Is someone playing a joke on me?”
—Sandy Beech
Complimenting your best friend is a good thing. But one special compliment you may not have realized you can pay your friend is playing a practical joke on her! That’s because a practical joke says, I cared about you enough to play this joke. You have a great sense of humor. But it is important to use good judgment if you give this kind of compliment. The person you play the joke on almost has to be a friend or family member. Otherwise a practical joke is not funny, it’s just mean.
There Are Exceptions! Very rarely, a joke played upon strangers is funny. For instance, a practical joker posted a huge sign in front of a runway at Los Angeles International Airport that said “Welcome to CHICAGO.” Incoming passengers freaked out! Now that’s funny.
The best way to test a practical joke is to imagine if it were played on YOU. Would you think it was funny? If the answer to that question is “No,” then do not play the joke on someone else. The best joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played.
Practical jokes don’t have to make sense to be funny. For example, let’s say that you’re at a friend’s house. You say you’re leaving, and then you sneak back inside, maybe into your friend’s bedroom. If your friend is busy or in another part of the house, go in her bedroom and turn all the furniture upside down or rearrange it so that the room is reversed. Then you really do leave. This is really stupid and it’s really funny!
Quick Prank
Hide in a friend’s or sibling’s closet until they open it and then jump out! If you’re an overachiever, try crawling under their bed and waiting for them to sit on it or lie down. Then reach out with a hand to grab their ankle and listen to the screams!
Another fun prank is to gently pull the labels off of a few cans in the pantry and then re-glue them onto different cans. At some point your dad will open a can of “beans” and instead get a can of sliced peaches. “Why would someone do this?” he will ask. Your answer: “Because it’s funny!” This is called “t.p. logic.” It doesn’t make any sense to t.p. (toilet paper) a friend’s house, yet it’s fun to do!
But sometimes a joke makes perfect sense. Depending on your neighbors, going trick-or-treating on October 30th (the night before Halloween) can be a good laugh. On one hand, you may get some very surprised people who give you candy because they think they read their calendars wrong. On the other hand, some neighbors will tell you that it’s the wrong night. In that case, just say, “Oops! We wondered where everyone was! Can we have some candy anyway?”
If you’re looking for ideas, the tricks below are arranged in order, from the simplest to the more complicated.
The “No Joke” Joke
The easiest joke to play is the joke that is never played!
You Will Need: Nothing!
This trick works best if you already have a reputation as a joker. During the last couple of days of March, start making little warnings to your victim that she better be on her toes on April Fools’ Day.
“Yep, it’s going to be pretty incredible,” you say, with an evil gleam in your eye. Naturally, she’ll want to know what the joke is, or even try to talk you out of it. “I couldn’t call it off even if I wanted to,” is a statement guaranteed to get her even more worried.
As you’ve already figured out, there is no big joke, which IS the joke. If you’ve prepared your victim properly, she will be looking over her shoulder all day. Nice work!
Quick Prank
If you don’t see your friends for a winter’s weekend, try getting a spray-on tan. Then tell your friends that you went to Hawaii or Florida for the weekend! (Note: If you already live in Hawaii or Florida, this trick will be less impressive.)
You’re Going on a Trip
This is really immature.
You Will Need: A friend who wears shoes.
Remind your friend that some people think it is possible to tell a person’s fortune by reading her palms. Then tell her that you’ve been doing some research, and you’ve found that it really is possible to tell a fortune by reading a person’s shoes. Show her the “Shoes” section of the “Fashion” chapter to impress her with your knowledge if necessary.
Anyway, you want to convince your friend to take off at least one of her shoes so that you can tell her fortune. Once you have your friend’s shoe in hand, look it over very seriously and make some meaningful utterances. Wow . . . Uh huh . . . Just as I suspected. When the timing is right, tell your friend that her fortune has been read. Say, “I can tell from this shoe that you will soon be going on a trip.”
Then throw the shoe as far as you can and run away!
Quick Prank
After someone opens up a package of Oreos, remove a couple of the cookies. Carefully open the Oreos and use a butter knife to scrape the filling out. (Don’t waste it! Mmmm . . . Oreo filling.) Then take white-colored toothpaste and spread it on the inside of the cookie wafers. Spread it around a bit till it looks right, put the cookies back together, and be patient!
Big Wheels Keep on Turning
Round and round and round it goes . . . where it opens, she doesn’t know!
You Will Need: A bathroom, a glue stick.
Go into any bathroom that has rolls of toilet paper. Take out your glue stick and find the opening square that you would usually start unrolling from. Run the glue stick across the inner edge of the square and neatly press it against the roll. It’s sort of hard to see where the roll begins now, isn’t it?
If you’ve ever heard a hamster running on its wheel, that’s the sound the next person to sit down after you will be making as she looks for the opening square!
Cell Phone Sabotage
A good joke to play on a friend who almost always has her cell phone.
You Will Need: A friend with a cell phone, a diabolical sense of humor.
For this prank, you need to borrow your friend’s cell phone. Say that you need to call your parents, and then pretend to dial the number and start talking. (See the “Etiquette and Manners” chapter for tips on how to ad lib.) It would be good if you could walk out of your friend’s hearing for the following.
What you will do is access the menu for her voice mail. You want to change her voice mail message to a new message. There are lots of possibilities for her new voice mail message, ranging from goofy to weird. Here are some examples, but f
eel free to make up your own!
Vacation: Hi, this is Leigh. I have left the country and won’t be back for six months, so please don’t leave a message.
Wacky: (hysterical laughter) I love loofahs! (more hysterical laughter)
Annoying: Hi, this is Leigh . . . Hello? . . . Is somebody there? I can hear you breathing, why don’t you say something? HEEELLLLOOOO?!
After returning her cell phone, thank your friend, and try to look innocent for the next couple of weeks. And be careful, if you’re caught you might have to go to voice jail, which isn’t much fun.
Quick Prank
The next time a friend spends the night, try this one. After you’re pretty sure that your friend is asleep, get out the baby powder. Sprinkle it lightly but generously over her hair. Try not to laugh or you’ll wake her up! In the morning, your friend may make it to the mirror without noticing anything wrong. But when she sees her white hair, she’ll realize that she’s been “antiqued”!
Trapped
How to trap your friend in one easy lesson.
You Will Need: A full glass of water, a kitchen table.
Start up a conversation with your friend, and while you’re talking, innocently go into the kitchen and fill up your glass of water nearly all the way. As you raise the water to your lips, say (as if you just thought of it), “Hey, you have to see this.” Have your friend put her two index fingers (those are the nose-picking fingers) next to each other on the top of the table, as if she were pointing to something on the table itself.