by Jamie Knight
I've been taking care of myself for so long, going to school, then building my business into the success that it is. Maybe that's where I lost myself. Where I started to disconnect from everything. I need something to pull me out of this cloud that I'm in, but I can't seem to find it.
My current life hasn't been doing a good enough job of it, that’s for sure.
What can I do to change it up, and break free from these things that I'm feeling? I wonder.
I think back to the club, all us billionaires trying to get our hands on some hot young virgin. Each time I go, it’s the same damn thing, over and over and over again.
I hate when I start thinking like this. I don't like having such dark and depressing thoughts. I try to think of something different.
I wonder what I can do to relax. Maybe go to the gym or take a long hot shower. There's the usual stuff like listening to music, or reading, but nothing feels right. Maybe I'm just being too picky about everything.
I sigh in frustration and rub my face. I hate feeling this way. I feel tired but I'm not tired.
I think maybe I will stop by the club later. Not really out of enjoyment, but more out of habit. I don't like to stray from my normal routines.
I finally decide to use my home gym when I get there. Maybe I’ll do a couple of laps, or perhaps playing some loud music and punching the bag is what I need to feel energized and shake off this feeling.
It's frustrating having to deal with this. The part that bothers me the most is not being able to figure out where it's coming from.
I seriously have nothing in life to be complaining about right now. There's no one I can ask for advice either, although I prefer to keep it that way. I mean, I have friends that I talk to and stuff, but I don't go baring my fucking soul to them. There are some things about me that I'd rather keep private. Thinking about friends leads me to thinking about work. I shake my head and concentrate on my formerly optimistic thoughts about going to my gym once I get home.
I can't deal with any more work stress right now. I know I'll have to work out all the problems later, but just not right now. My mind can't take it, and I can't concentrate.
My house is a bit of a drive from work, but eventually I arrive there. Though impressive to all visitors, I grew bored with it a long time ago. Maybe it's my whole life I'm tired of right now. I spend a few minutes sitting in the car, pondering that thought.
After I get tired of that, I get out and walk around the yard. I'm hoping that breathing in the fresh, cold air will help clear my head and maybe make me feel different. Sadly, it doesn't. I feel exactly the same as before.
"Well, that was disappointing," I think to myself.
I look up at the sky, before pulling my keys out of my pocket. I unlock the front door and walk inside with a tired sigh. I don't even know what I'm tired from, but I just feel drained.
Chapter 4
Finnegan
I finally open the door and walk inside. After pulling off my coat and shoes, I'm ready to sit on the couch and relax for a minute.
The computer in my home office starts ringing, though. It echoes loudly in my quiet mansion. That sound can only mean one thing, I have an incoming video call request. I try not to get frustrated as I go to the office to answer it. I hope it’s not more work-related problems.
I sit at my desk and accept the video chat. The face of Scarlett, the owner of the Love in Dublin Club fills the screen.
"I hope this isn't a bad time?" she asks.
I can tell from her tone she wants to talk business. I groan inwardly.
"No, it's fine. I just got home," I answer.
"Oh good, then you have time to talk," she responds happily.
I can hear her shuffling through some papers off screen. I'm really not in the mood to deal with this, and I definitely didn't want to talk to anyone. Unfortunately, Scarlett isn't the type of person you can ignore.
She looks at me pointedly and starts talking.
“There is interest in a special auction but I need to see who all I can get to agree to participate before pushing to have it set up, because the girl is reluctant and would likely need a hefty sum to be persuaded to even show up."
After she says this, she looks up from the papers in her hand.
Just as I figured, this conversation is all business and I'm already bored with it. It’s not my job to fund the girls she brings to the club. It’s her job to provide them, since I’m the paying customer. But every now and then she calls and asks about special requests or “exciting opportunities” such as this. She wants to make sure there’s enough interest before spending big.
I have to fight the urge to yawn. I pretend to pay attention but start fidgeting with stuff on my desk.
"What's so special about this girl?" I ask, with a bored sigh.
I know the club tries to keep things interesting for its members, but I can't imagine paying such a large amount for anything.
"Well, she’s American, but here in Dublin. She’s a young student named Melissa, and she's a virgin."
I can tell from the monotone voice that Scarlett is reading from her notes.
"One second…" she says, then after a few button taps from Scarlett, the girl’s picture pops up on my screen.
The photo catches me off guard, and I'm about to complain until I actually notice the image of the girl. Scarlett is quiet as I study the picture. I think she knows she’s got my interest, but she says nothing.
I study Melissa's face. And then the rest of her. It's a full body shot, so I notice her curves right away. I've always been attracted to curvaceous women.
I love her dark complexion as well as her pretty dark brown eyes. My cock jumps up, hungry for a taste of this voluptuous goddess.
After a few minutes of staring at her picture, I tell Scarlett, without even asking the price or terms, "Okay, I'm in."
She chuckles softly.
"I figured you would be," she replies.
"I'll pay her enticement fee as well," I announce, while saving her picture to my computer.
"I knew you would," Scarlett says, while making a note of it anyway. "I'll call you back soon with more information."
“Alright,” I say and then we both hang up.
After the call is over, I sit there and stare at the picture of Melissa on my computer for a while longer. I wonder what type of person she is. Scarlett mentioned her being a virgin. Obviously, she's dated, everyone has. But I wonder if she’s tried anything.
I start to fantasize about that. About her being shy, but me being able to convince her to do whatever I want.
I take my cock – now fully hard at the thought of Melissa – out of my pants and start to play with myself as I picture her naked in my bed. She's hesitant but she wants me so bad. I want her as well.
I start to imagine the way it would feel to touch her body. To run my hands up and down all of her curves. I picture her brown eyes smoldering with desire for me. Instead of my hand, I imagine that its hers touching my cock. I wonder if she's ever touched one before.
I can almost feel her mouth on me, but that's not enough. I imagine laying her in bed, and the power that I would feel as I lay over her and enter her for the first time. I would be the only one to ever dominate her. Those feelings, that rush, turn me on more than anything. I imagine her crying out, begging me to fuck her for her very first time. I love the sound of her voice as she calls my name.
I sit at the desk in my office playing with myself as I imagine all this. I can't erase the image of her from my mind. I will pay whatever it takes to have her. I need to be the only one to be inside her. This thought turns me on so much that I cum in my hand.
Then I leave the office and go to take a shower. After washing, I notice that I feel different. I don't feel tired anymore. My feeling of depression seems to have lifted a little. I feel a little more enthusiastic about things, including work.
As I go to the kitchen to get a snack, I find myself wondering what school she goes
to? Scarlett had said it's in Dublin.
I try to shake thoughts of her from my head, but I can't. I picture her dark eyes twinkling at me, just like in my fantasy. I imagine her curves pressed against me once more. I clear my throat and heat up some food and then I take it into my office.
I'll focus on work in a minute, I tell myself. After a few bites of food, I look at her picture again, even though her face is permanently etched in my mind already.
I decide to skip the trip to the club later. I don't need it.
After our conversation earlier, I'm actually anxious for Scarlett’s follow-up call about the auction now. I tell myself to calm down and force down some more food.
I think about some of the problems the manager at the distillery mentioned and start writing out a few solutions to them. I'll probably have to end up scheduling a meeting with him about all of this.
Eventually I become so engrossed in work that I forget about my food. By the time I remember to eat it later, its already cold.
But I don’t really care, because I was glad to have an escape from my thoughts.
I know that as soon as I can claim Melissa as my own, everything will start to feel a lot better.
Chapter 5
Melissa
I'm at the house by myself again. My host family have all left to work and school. I've been sitting at the computer most of the day and I've been online the whole time trying to find extra jobs or side gigs to earn more money for the tuition.
So far, I have found nothing. This is so frustrating. I get up from the computer to stretch and use the bathroom. I needed a break. My eyes were getting tired from staring at the screen.
The phone starts ringing while I'm in the bathroom.
That just seems to be how it always goes for me.
"Yeah, I'm coming," I complain at the noise. It's a pain when you're interrupted in the bathroom.
After washing my hands, I run and grab the phone.
"Hello?" I ask.
It's Sheila again.
"Finally, I was just about to hang up,” she complains.
"Sorry, I was in the bathroom," I apologize.
I hold the phone to my ear, then sit back at the computer to finish my job search.
"So, I was just calling to tell you that I found an auction for you. Do you have a pen so I can give you the address to the club where it's going to be?" she asks.
My mouth hangs open in shock. I was not prepared for this conversation.
"Honestly, I don't think I can do something like this. I'm just not ready," I confess to her.
I'm honestly not prepared, and I don't know if I ever will be able to do something like that.
Sheila snorts over the phone.
"It's not a big deal. You don't have to go all the way. These auctions are designed for the ladies’ choice, so you can auction off anything you want, even just a date," she explains calmly.
This makes me feel better. Sheila sounds very knowledgeable about the whole thing, and as my friend, I know that she would never lie to me.
Sheila rambles on.
"I will admit something to you though; it can be very freeing to lose your virginity, especially to an older, experienced man who knows what he’s doing. I never thought it would be so great, until I tried it."
She dissolves into a fit of giggles. Her boldness doesn't surprise me. She's always been a little more adventurous than I am.
I laugh with her and tell her, "I can’t imagine what that would be like and can’t believe we are even talking about it."
Sheila clears her throat.
"Well, I thought you should know that the auctions are happening tonight. If you want to make your money, then you better hurry up and get to the club because tonight is your only chance."
“Tonight?” I ask, shocked. “But it’s St. Patrick’s Day!”
It’s not like I had any plans, anyway, being as broke as I am. But suddenly, I feel incredibly pressured into doing this.
“Yes, tonight,” Sheila repeats. “It’s a St. Patrick’s Day auction. That’s the whole point.”
Well, far be it for me to not know that some people celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by buying virgins at a secret club.
I sigh and close my internet browser. That job search was a complete waste of time.
And I can’t help but remember how badly I still need money.
"Okay, fine, what should I wear then?" I ask her, with a sigh.
I really don't feel like doing this, but I have to.
"That's the spirit!" Sheila cheers over the phone, with a laugh.
I don't join in on her enthusiasm.
After a second Sheila, tells me, "you definitely want to wear something sexy like a black dress, but with easy access, because sometimes things get a bit wild and freaky in these clubs."
I'm upstairs going through my clothes. Her words make me pause in concern.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, a little worried.
"Nothing, it's not important," she replies in a dismissive tone. "Now hurry up and get a move on."
She really does like to be bossy sometimes.
"I am, don't rush me," I complain back at her, and we both laugh.
"Good luck. I really think you’re going to like it. Call me later and tell me how it goes," she says, then hangs up so I can get ready.
I put the phone down and pull out the only sexy black dress I own.
As I'm getting ready, my mind starts racing to different thoughts. I think about what Sheila said, and start to wonder what kind of club this is. I picture men and women paying money to make out. The thought gets me a little wet.
Even though I'm a virgin, I dated a couple of times, and I have thought briefly in the past about what my first time would be like. I tell myself that I'm only doing this for the money, but there's a little part of me that's curious about what all could happen tonight.
Once I arrive at the club later, I’m shown inside. A woman immediately approaches me and asks, "Melissa?"
I'm a little nervous, so I reply "yes?" in a shaky voice.
I clear my throat softly. She introduces herself as Scarlett. I remember her from our phone conversation.
"I was worried that you weren't going to show up. You're going to be next on stage," she explains.
She checks her notes on the notepad that she holds in her hands. I start to feel nervous and panicky again.
I look towards the stage and am shocked to see a woman up there who is being undressed while a man is running his hand over her body. Sheila wasn't kidding about these things getting crazy.
Scarlett is talking to someone about me going next. Out of curiosity, I look out at the audience and see another man, in the front row, who looks gorgeous. The guy on stage is talking to him, but he’s shrugging and not paying attention to what he's saying. I can't stop staring at him.
Eventually, he glances my way and our eyes lock. I feel a shiver run through my entire body. This might sound crazy, but I really hope this is the guy who buys me. I don't want anyone else but him. I can't picture anyone else with me except for him.
Eventually, we break eye contact and look away. I take a deep breath, but I feel like I need cold air after his stare. Nobody has ever had an effect on me like that.
I look anxiously at Scarlett and at the couple on stage. Now I'm actually a little excited for my turn.
Though Scarlett told me everything beforehand, I'm still waiting for her explanation of how this is going to happen. It's a lot to wrap my head around. I just want to get it over with, although part of me really wants to take things slow and enjoy things with this handsome man who can’t stop staring at me.
Chapter 6
Finnegan
"I will not pout," I keep reminding myself, but I can't help it.
I'm in a bad mood and I'm angry about everything. I keep glancing at the door every few seconds to see if Melissa shows up, but so far, I haven't seen her. I'm mad at Scarlett for getting my hopes up about meeting h
er tonight. I was anxious the whole day while I was getting ready and driving over here.
There was no way I was missing my chance at being with her. I hope Scarlett and her source are right and this girl actually shows up; otherwise, tonight is a complete waste of my time.
I still haven't been too successful at shaking off that depression I have been feeling. That's another reason I'm in a bad mood tonight. Looking at Melissa's picture helped a little, but in some ways it added to the stress of wondering whether she would show up or not and the kinds of things we would be able to do.
It's just too much to think about. I try to breathe and look at the door again, willing her to show up. Yeah, no such luck yet.
Scarlett has already assured me multiple times tonight that her contact confirmed that Melissa would be here, but as each second passes, I'm finding it more difficult to believe her. I shift around in my seat, feeling so agitated.
I'm tempted to leave if she doesn't show up. She was the only reason for me being here tonight. I have no interest in any of the other women who are here. I look around at the other people here and see that not even the other men bidding are decent looking. I'm not trying to sound conceited; I'm just being honest.
I arrived with my friend James. Right now, he calls out my name and keeps trying to get my attention.
He is the one who is up on stage right now. He keeps bidding and playing with this girl. He's inviting me up there to do the same, but I'm just not interested. That girl is definitely not my type, now that I have seen Melissa.
I keep ignoring him, and waving him away, but he still keeps asking me to come up there with him. I know he’s just enjoying himself, but it's still frustrating me. He can't understand what I'm going through right now. I don't think that anyone can.
My mind is too preoccupied. It's full of thoughts of one girl, and she is the only one I want to see right now. I give an impatient sigh and turn to glare at Scarlett. She is busy talking to some of the other girls, so she’s not paying attention to me.
That frustrates me as well. I don't like being kept waiting. I feel like she teased me with the promise of Melissa, just to let me down about it all.