Taka lifted a paw and stroked her cheek. “I know, love. But I have sent you help and you have refused it. Lannie, go back to him!”
“What??” Elanna stared at him. “How can you say that? Taka, I want to be with YOU.”
“No you don’t, love. The tides of life still beat strong inside you. My time is past, but you still have a path to walk here.” He lifted a paw and brushed away a tear from her face. “He needs you, Lannie...and you need him, not some old memory of love.”
She shook her head, silent tears still rolling down her cheeks. “He doesn’t need me. Not like you did.”
“No, our needs are different, but that does not make his need any less, love. There is a thorn in your heart, and only he can remove it.” Taka purred deeply and kissed her muzzle. “When I see you happy with him, it fills me with joy. Go to him Lannie. Go to him and LIVE. If you don’t, I cannot be happy.”
Elanna nodded and nuzzled him one last time before turning away and padding slowly back towards the kopje in the distance. A final warmth passed through her and then the savanna fell dark and silent again around her. Lifting her face to the heavens, she beheld the glitter of the stars, and sought out one in particular. “Thank you, my love.”
The star seemed to shine brighter for a moment, as if in answer.
“Lannie!”
She jerked her head down to see Kubali bound over the rise, puffing for breath. “Lannie! Thank God I found you! I heard someone talking over this way and recognized your voice...” He trotted over to her and drew up short of nuzzling her in greeting, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Lannie? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you...can we talk about this?” He looked at her miserably. “Please?”
Elanna cried aloud and ran to him, wrapping her forepaws around him and bearing him to the ground as she covered his features with warm kisses. “I’m so sorry, Kubali...I’ve been such a fool.” She rubbed her cheek to his and nibbled his ear gently. “Love me, Kubali...you make me feel so special.”
He smiled at her warmly. “You ARE special, Elanna. I want to make love to you, but I need to understand what just happened.”
“My mate appeared to me. He told me that I should not be afraid of my feelings for you.”
Kubali stared silently at her in awe. “I’m glad. Your Taka really loved you. I really love you too. I won’t be jealous if you won’t feel guilty.” He nuzzled her. “Do you want to tell me about him?”
She initially looked away, but she settled beside him. “Taka was very sweet but very sad and afraid. Once when he was a cub, there was this badger....”
CHAPTER: AN AWKWARD MOMENT
The next morning, Gamu looked at Kubali with a smile but also a hint of reproach. “Miss some sleep last night?”
“Yeah. The lightning and thunder.”
“I bet. It’s a wonder you slept at all.” He glanced at Elanna who hung her head embarrassed. “All that lightning and thunder.”
Kubali looked at Elanna. “Lannie, are you OK?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” She edged nearer to him, but said nothing more. Kubali glanced at Gamu, then back at her. She made no sign whether she wanted Gamu to know about them.
“I bet you didn’t sleep well either,” Gamu said at Elanna, pointedly. He winked slyly.
“Look here, Gamu,” Kubali said sharply.
“Yes?” Gamu smiled.
For a moment, Kubali was nonplused. He didn’t know what to do or what to say. He looked at Elanna again, seeing how she wanted to curl up and die.
“Look here, Gamu. I’m unworthy of her, an exiled prince with no one to blame but himself. But last night, that wonderful creature....” He became inarticulate for a moment, looking for the right words.
“We made love,” Elanna said, moving next to Kubali and nuzzling him.
Kubali found his tongue again and straightened with pride. “Yes. Many times. And if I died tomorrow, I could look Aiheu in the face and tell him I’ve lived a full and meaningful life. Well, Gamu, aren’t you going to congratulate us?”
Gamu smiled meekly. He’d clearly lost the first round. But if anything, he was tenacious. “I’m glad for you. Both of you. I’ve lost to the better lion.”
Elanna pawed Gamu playfully. “We need to find you a mate. But for right now, you understand, we’ll need some privacy.
“Of course. You just give the word.”
Kubali leaned against Elanna and purred softly. “The word is given. Go scout up some gazelles--or something.”
“As you wish, Lover Boy.”
CHAPTER: JUST BETWEEN US
Gamu was soon over his disappointment at Kubali’s triumph. After all, no prize easily won was worth much. Tolerating their desire to make love in the morning, Gamu went to the watering hole and looked at his own reflection. He tried to make the most sad face he could create and looked at the reflection. “Oh Gamu,” he said in a rough imitation of Kubali’s voice. “Why did I ever let you back in my life? Why didn’t I see this coming??”
Gamu could no longer keep a straight face, and he rolled on his back with laughter. “Griz, get over here!”
Nonplused, the hyena left the cover of the reeds. “How did you spot me?”
“I didn’t. I just know you, you little sneak. The same way I know Kubali and Elanna. And my little flea-bitten friend, knowledge is power. So he’s breathing down her neck, is he? It will give him something to think about when he’s on the savanna alone.”
“I thought you wanted to kill him,” Griz’nik said.
“I’m not sure. I wandered around alone for the longest time. I know what it’s like. But for him it will be far worse. He’s lost the kingship, and he will also lose her. I see those shapely thighs of hers, and I think about the sweet delight of her lithe golden body....” He trembled. “How much sweeter it will be to know my enemy is alone and unloved! And every time she cries out my name, it will pull out a thorn that lion put in my heart!”
Griz’nik looked at him crossly. “You’re sick, you know that? Even I can tell she’s beautiful for a lioness. If I were you, I’d take her out behind the reeds, and Kubali would be the farthest thing from my mind. My gods, Gamu, if you want to know what I think....”
“I DON’T,” Gamu said, swiping at the hyena and shoving him into the water.
“One of these days you’re going to go too far,” Griz’nik said, huffing and puffing as he left the cold water.
“And then you’ll do what?” Gamu patted Griz’nik on the cheek. “Face it, my little friend. You need me. Even if you could kill me, and the thought is laughable, what would you do? Expect a handout from the mistress you ill treated and her husband? I think not.”
“You promise me much,” Griz’nik said, “but what have you actually delivered? A couple of lousy rabbits?”
Gamu gave him a withering look. “These things take time to be done right. Remember what I told you about the territory to the south?”
“The land between the hills?”
“Yes. You and Elanna and I. You’ll get to hunt gazelles and no one will bother you. Maybe you’ll find another mate and have some little--whatever it is hyenas have.”
“Pups.”
“Yeah, right. But only if you obey. Only if you wait. I’m not like your Taka. I won’t be pushed around or circumvented.”
“Circumvented?”
“Shoved aside.”
“You and your big words.”
“Big words for a lion with big ideas.”
Griz’nik shook himself, and water went flying about, getting in Gamu’s eyes and wetting his mane. Griz’nik tried not to smile broadly at the mischief he’d created. “Oh, pardon me.”
CHAPTER: LATER THAT DAY
Gamu came back later that day. Elanna was lying on her back, a blissful smile on her face. Kubali was sitting sphinx-like a short distance away, looking at her with mixed pride and love.
Gamu tapped Kubali on his shoulder, jerking him out of his reverie, and he signaled for him to
come away a short distance.
“This had better be good, Gamu. You know I said I needed some time alone with her.”
“You know, Kubali, I’ve tried hard to earn your respect and trust. I keep hoping someday we’ll have a land of our own, and you will be my King as it was meant to be.”
“So?”
“I come to you as a good friend to tell you something you need to know about your mate. She carries a burden on her heart and you can help her find peace. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Kubali looked at him skeptically. “A burden? She discusses everything with me, no matter how drastic. We’ve been completely honest with each other.”
“Then you know about how her husband died? Have you told her yet that you’ve forgiven her?”
“Forgiven her? For what?”
“Oh my gods,” Gamu said in a near whisper. “I thought you said you were completely honest with each other.”
“What are you going on about, Gamu?? Is this another one of your tricks??”
“Tricks?? It’s true--no good deed ever goes unpunished. Fine thanks I get for trying to help you! I know very little about her past, but she’s admitted to me the cause of her nightmares.”
“Her nightmares? She won’t discuss them with me. Why should I believe she told you?”
“That’s PRECISELY why. She doesn’t care what I think of her. She could ask me anything. You’re another matter entirely.”
“And why are you discussing this with me?”
“Because I feel I owe you something. Now do you want to hear it or not?”
“OK.”
“See, you two are not completely open as you thought. I told her that I thought she could talk about Taka with you, but she’s afraid. You need to reassure her. Then she’ll bare her soul about everything and seek forgiveness. It will set her free, Kubali. If you really love her, you’ll want her to be happy. And true happiness comes from the inside out. With this locked inside her, she’ll never be truly happy.”
“I know that Taka killed his brother, and that he tried to kill Simba. She was not aware.”
“That’s not what she told me. He went completely mad at the end. She knew it was only a matter of time until there was a civil war, so she worked with the hyenas in their plot to depose the king. She betrayed him to his enemies. They ripped him, you know. Now she has nightmares racked with guilt and remorse. I mean, when Taka died he was screaming her name. And she will carry that burden all her life. She felt she had to tell SOMEONE. It was all bottled up inside her, and she was going crazy holding it inside.”
Kubali’s face fell. Gamu tried not to smile and betray his deep satisfaction. The lie was planted, and he would give it time to grow.
CHAPTER: A MATTER OF TRUST
It was a clear night. Kubali held Elanna’s trembling body beneath his own and shuddered in the grip of passion. He climaxed, and with a roar, he sprang from her. She turned to snarl at him, but she was not angry with him. She rolled over in the grass and invited him over. Kubali lay next to her in the soft grass and looked with her into the night sky. Elanna snuggled into his soft mane listening to his heart beat. It was a comforting sound, a familiar sound, and she drew solace from it. Still, as she scanned the night sky she let out a small sigh.
Kubali looked around. "Are you all right, Lannie?"
“I’m fine. It was nothing, really.”
“If it’s nothing, you won’t mind telling me about it. I mean, we don’t keep secrets from each other--do we?”
She smiled, but it was a melancholy smile. "I was wondering which one of those stars was my Taka. I miss him..."
Kubali frowned slightly, but he quickly hid it. “I know you do, lover...he sounds like he was everything to you."
She turned her head to face him more, "He was. And he used to tell me I was everything to him. He had no other friends. He relied on me for comfort and friendship. I was all that kept him going.”
“I see.” Kubali’s jaw set firmly. “He trusted you entirely, I imagine?”
“Why yes, he did.”
“Uh huh. Everyone needs someone they can trust entirely. Someone whose love for them is unconditional--who would never betray them.”
“I know.” She rubbed his chest mane with her paw. “You are that person for me.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said.
She seemed to be waiting for him to answer her more meaningfully, but he did not.
“You do trust me, don’t you, lover?”
Kubali changed the subject quickly. “Look, the bats are out. They don’t fly in straight lines like birds.”
Elanna glared at him. “I asked you a question!”
Kubali looked back, tensely. “Look, I’m trying to let this whole business about Taka be firmly in the past. If you help me, I’ll help you.”
“What about Taka?? Today I’ve made love to you many times! Do you think I’d just go crouch with any lion in the bushes??” She shoved him roughly with a paw. “Kubali, if there is no trust between us, there sure as the world will be no more intimacy. I don’t crouch for someone that doesn’t trust me!”
“I trust you all right. I just can’t forget what you did just like that! I’m sorry, but it’s going to take time!”
“And what did I do??”
“You know.”
“Assume for a moment I don’t!”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Look, I trust you, OK? Let’s get some sleep.”
“Sure! You sleep here. I’ll find me a place.”
“Look, you little spitfire, you’re acting like a complete fool! Everything was fine, then all of a sudden you change toward me!”
She got up quickly and moved away from him. "I thought you were gentle and sensitive, but you’re not at all! You’re coarse and inconsiderate, and it’s no wonder they drove you out!”
The words seemed to sting him more than words could express. He stared at her for a while silently, a look of barely suppressed rage on his face. Then when he found his tongue, he blurted out, “Yeah right, like I’m the only outcast here! If you’re so perfect in every way, where are your pride sisters when you need them? Huh??”
Shocked and hurt, tears welled up in her eyes and she stammered, “Good bye, Kubali. It’s over.” She turned quickly and walked off, leaving him alone in the night.
He growled back at her as she drew away, "FINE...leave me.” He shouted, “I don’t need you! You HEAR me?? I don’t need ANYONE!” He let out a loud roar and turned from her.
CHAPTER: HURT FEELINGS
At first Kubali was angry enough to hide from the grimness of his situation. He muttered to himself, “How could she betray Taka? Even if he was insane! I could understand if she’d left him, but having him ripped alive?? My gods! Hey, I was willing to forget and forgive, but she started acting like a complete...."
He stopped and sighed. The loneliness was beginning to find the chinks in his defenses and wear away his resolve. “And I guess I helped her a lot, didn’t I?? Way to GO, Kubali!” He flopped on the ground where they lied together a few moments ago. He inhaled slowly and deeply, reading her fragrance. "She was the most beautiful and loving lioness I had ever met--and I went and blew it! She was my last chance for happiness.” He rolled on his back and sighed. “My last chance. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I rubbed in her exile.” He frowned and growled. “But she never should have said what she did! She started it! She insulted me first! She made me mad, and I just had to say something--I just had....” He sighed again. “Well, I didn’t HAVE to. Oh God, help me! Maybe I’m not the most patient lion in the world, but I really love her, and I need her. Help me please!”
Kubali rolled over and got up. “I am not the lion my father exiled." He opens his eyes slowly, "I will find her...confess my love to her...and ask her to be mine."
He moved off slowly in the direction that he saw Elanna disappear in, nose close to the ground, seeking the scent that will lead him to her.
As Elanna walked away, disappearing into the night, her ears turned to hear his roar of frustration after her. “What did I see in him?” she muttered softly. “He is nothing like Taka. Why did I give myself to him like I did?” She walked a short distance more, intent on leaving Kubali for good. As she continued to move away from him though, she turns her head more often, as if a part of her is saying no. Finally, she gave up and sat down to work through her thoughts.
Out of frustration for her remaining feelings for Kubali, she muttered, “He did not trust me.” She sighed and looked over the open fields. “Maybe I should go home...I have nothing here either. Even if they kill me, I will be with my husband and I won’t be lonely again.” She looks up at the stars, searching for him. “I will join you, my love...you must keep your faith. I will be there to cradle you again, tell you how much you mean to me. In Aiheu’s fields you will dream no bad dreams and I will weep no tears. How could you send me to that lion? You were mistaken about him, Taka. I don’t need the kind of care he gives me. You were wrong, Honey Tree.”
She laid her body in the grass and, with a deep sigh, allowed her head to fall to her paws in thought. Through her mind ran the times she spent with her husband--how she courted him. The expectation of giving him cubs, then the tragedy of losing them and with them her fertility. She smiles softly, remembering how he wouldn’t replace her and how he remained faithful through it all. “He was always there for me. He loved me. He truly loved me!”
She gasped softly, remembering the moments of passion she had shared with Kubali. “Will Taka be jealous? Will he want me back? Oh gods, if he refuses me what will I do??”
She remembered the last days of Taka’s life. She recalled the sleepless nights she spent cuddling him close and protecting him from his bad dreams. She remembered trying to anticipate his needs and fill them one by one. She could not always know what would please him, and he would sulk. Then she would have to use all her powers of subtlety to draw out the cause of his ill humor and make it up to him. She remembered staying in the cave by herself and not even given the satisfaction of feeding herself. His temper had become even worse in the weeks before his downfall. She stayed by his side through it all for their love was strong. But he would leave her alone for hours or days in a private hell of despair.
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