by Belle, Jove
“He thinks I’m still mad about high school.” Simone felt silly saying it aloud, but it didn’t change the depth of her emotions. Abby had cut her very deeply in the past. She wasn’t sure she was ready to forgive that.
“Are you?”
“Yes, I think so.” It felt good to say it. It took some of the pressure off her chest, like a release valve had been activated.
“But?” Dr. Donovan’s voice held that unaffected, yet still interested quality. She pictured him with his pencil furiously scribbling notes about her possible breakthrough.
“I still want her.” Her desire to have Abby—to be with her, to touch her, to possess her, to make her submit, all of it—pressed in on Simone until it was so thick she could taste it on her tongue.
“Which do you want more?” He asked the question gently.
“What do you mean?” She was still heady from the realization that she held tight to old resentments she thought she’d released years ago.
“You have to choose, Simone. Do you want her or your anger? You have to let one go in order to fully have the other.”
The pressure in her chest increased and she feared she might black out. Hopefully someone would find her and call 9-1-1 if that happened.
“Those are my only choices?”
“That’s it.”
“Okay. Thanks, Dr. Donovan. I’ll let you get back to work.” She wanted to keep him on the phone, demand a third, less painful option, but knew he was right. There was no point delaying good-bye.
“Good luck, Simone. I look forward to learning what you decide.”
She disconnected the call. She looked forward to learning about her decision as well.
Chapter Ten
“Gavin came to see me after you left.” Simone entered Abby’s apartment and set a bottle of cheap champagne on the table.
“Oh?” When Abby had left Simone that afternoon, she hadn’t expected to ever see her again. And here Simone was, standing in her kitchen.
“Glasses?” Simone peeled away the foil from the cork and pulled a corkscrew from her breast pocket.
Abby shook her head. She wasn’t quite ready to forgive and forget. It wasn’t okay for Simone to show up and expect everything to be fine.
“You don’t have glasses?” Simone looked pointedly at the rack of crystal stemware hanging beneath the cupboard. She pulled the cork from the bottle. It foamed slightly but didn’t overflow.
“I have glasses. I’m not sure I want to drink with you. Why are you here?”
“I told you, Gavin came to see me.”
“And what did he say?”
“That you and I should spend some time drinking.”
“He said that?” Abby wasn’t convinced. Gavin was a poor drinker and generally didn’t encourage it in others.
“More or less.” Simone held out the bottle, but Abby refused to take it. She needed a better answer. Simone sighed. “He said you love me. He said I’m blowing it. And I’m still not sure what I’m doing here because nobody has ever come close to hurting me as much as you did.”
“That was high school. Let it go already.” Abby took the champagne and set it on the table. She didn’t plan to drink any until this conversation was done, one way or another.
“I’m trying. I thought I had. And then I saw you again, and you’re still lying to people in order to be popular.”
“It’s not the same, Simone.” Abby shook her head sadly. If this was how Simone really felt, they had no hope as a couple.
Simone looked like she wanted to believe her.
“The things I did back then were so…hurtful. And I’m sorry about that. But this is different. I’m protecting Gavin, not hurting him.”
“That’s the first time you’ve said you were sorry.”
“Really?” Abby had thought about apologizing so many times. Could this really be the first time she’d said the words to Simone?
Simone nodded and looked down. She studied the floor and Abby studied Simone.
“I am. Sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I regretted it at the time, and I’ve regretted it every day since.”
“Okay.”
Abby met Simone’s probing gaze, her eyes raw with emotion, sadness, grief, wanting.
“Okay? You believe me? That easy?”
“Of course it’s not that easy. But I haven’t been able to get over you for more than a decade. I don’t think more time will help.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means…” Simone grabbed the bottle and picked at the label. “It means that I want to try, and I think that calls for a drink.”
“Really?” Abby took the champagne from Simone and drank straight from the bottle.
Simone nodded and kissed Abby before she could swallow. Champagne trickled from her lips and into Simone’s mouth. Simone laughed again and licked the drips from Abby’s chin. “Oh my God, that’s nasty shit.”
“Why did you buy it?” Abby took another drink. The bubbles tickled, which she liked, but the alcohol tasted too sweet. She forced it down, then took another swig. Simone could afford a better brand, but this suited Abby. A day like today deserved a nice cheap drunk.
“Because…” Simone took the bottle from Abby and stared into Abby’s eyes. “The last time we drank together, this is what you liked.”
“You remember that?” Abby trembled under Simone’s intense scrutiny. Simone was right. It was the brand she drank in high school. It was cheap and easy to get her hands on.
Simone set the champagne on the table without looking away. It hit with a ring of finality. She scanned the length of Abby’s body, pausing briefly at Abby’s chest, then resuming the upward climb until she held Abby’s gaze once again. She took a visible breath and said, “I remember everything.”
“Oh.”
Simone worked the buttons on Abby’s shirt free. She kissed low on Abby’s neck and Abby melted inside. Her thoughts went from scrambled to completely absent with the briefest touch of Simone’s lips.
“You don’t think we should talk more?” Abby dropped her arms to her side to make it easier for Simone to slide her shirt down her shoulders.
Simone nodded and took a step back. “If that’s what you want.”
Abby’s head cleared. “It’s important.”
“Okay. You go first.” Simone slid a chair out and sat at the kitchen table. Every move was practiced and graceful. She sat upright, her spine straight and at attention.
They needed to discuss so many things. Their history, their future, and all the things Simone made Abby feel. She had no idea where to start. She decided to go with the most pressing need—the ever-present fire in her body when Simone was near—and leave the past for later.
“Sex.” Abby blurted out the word, then felt her body and face flush with heat.
Simone smirked. “Yes, please.”
“I’ve never…” Abby took a deep breath. There were certain things she needed to say. “The things we’ve done…I’ve never—”
“Done anything like that before? I figured.” Simone folded her hands in her lap and waited.
“No. I mean yes, you’re right, but what I was trying to say was I’ve never felt like that before. It was very…intense.” Abby was flustered. She needed to sit but wanted to remain close to Simone. She settled on her knees at Simone’s feet and looked up into Simone’s eyes.
Simone smiled and caressed Abby’s cheek, then tapped Abby’s shoulder. “Back straight.”
Abby lengthened her spine in her best mirror of Simone’s posture. She wasn’t sure how much she was allowed to say, to ask, but she needed to know more. “Will it always be like that?”
“Intense?” Simone played idly with Abby’s hair. “I hope so.”
“What about…” Abby searched for the right words. “You have a lot of accessories.”
“I like toys.” Simone kissed Abby languidly, and Abby opened herself to Simone’s exploring tongue. Simone had a way of making Abby feel like she was com
pletely inside of her. Before Abby was ready, Simone ended the kiss. “So do you.”
Abby did. Very much. But before Simone, she’d had no idea.
Simone looked at Abby closely and seemed to come to a conclusion. “Abby, I like certain…elements to be included during sex, and that doesn’t always mean toys.”
“Tell me what to do.” Abby was poised on a precipice. On one side lay safety and the known. The other held the answer to why Simone moved with such power, carried herself with such precision, and why Abby yearned to please her so desperately.
“How about we take it day by day and see where that leads us?” Simone stroked Abby’s hair with one hand, and with the other she caressed Abby’s cheek with the backs of her fingers.
“Yes.” The words escaped her as a breathy whisper. Abby felt light-headed, like her very ability to breathe depended on Simone’s next words.
“Okay.” Simone smiled and kissed Abby gently.
“What else?” Abby asked. There had to be more than just Simone’s easy willingness to let their relationship happen. The growing pulse that traveled through her demanded that she learn all Simone’s secrets, every place on her body that made her shiver and moan.
“Now you make me come.” Simone stood and removed her pants and panties with perfunctory movements. She folded them both neatly and laid them on the table next to the forgotten champagne bottle. She unbuttoned her shirt, but left it and her bra on. Abby watched with her mouth open. The out-of-control urgency was completely gone. Simone was calm and precise. Perfectly in control.
Simone reclaimed her seat and spread her legs obscenely wide. She was positively dripping wet. Abby whimpered and reached out to run her fingers through Simone’s folds. Simone’s legs closed before Abby could touch.
“Your mouth only, please.” Simone spread her legs again.
Abby had fantasized about Simone a thousand times before, and none of those fantasies took place in her kitchen. The cold tile pressed hard against her knees, and she shifted to ease the pressure. Simone watched her with feigned disinterest. She didn’t encourage Abby to hurry, but waited patiently, like sitting with her thighs spread and her cunt on display was perfectly comfortable. If not for the slight tremor and the stunning amount of wetness, Abby would have thought Simone was bored. That needed to change.
“Am I allowed to talk?” Abby edged closer. She asked the question, then licked the length of Simone’s labia.
“That depends.” Simone’s legs tensed, but her voice remained even. “Would it turn you on more for me to say you can’t?”
Abby clenched with a new wave of arousal. “Apparently so.” She licked Simone again, flicking her tongue over Simone’s clit before sitting back.
“I think we should save that for another time. For now I want you to be able to ask questions when you have them.” Simone placed her hand lightly on Abby’s head and guided her forward. “Continue, please.”
“Yes.”
With Simone’s hand on the back of her head, Abby wanted nothing more than to please her. It was a simple, unassuming touch, but so much rested on that contact. Abby took it as a sign of Simone’s breaking control. She was no longer content to sit back and wait, and Abby was thankful for the admission.
Abby licked along Simone’s length again, edging her tongue between the outer lips. She moved slow and steady, savoring every moment. She slipped easily in Simone’s desire, the taste hot and perfect on her palate. Abby rolled her tongue over Simone’s clit, circling it, then flicking the tip rapidly until she heard Simone’s breath hitch and felt her legs clench. Then she started over again, lapping at Simone’s opening until the pressure on her head increased ever so slightly. One more sign that Simone was unraveling, and it drove Abby to work harder. She made her way to Simone’s clit again and sucked it into her mouth. Simone was hard and exposed in her excitement. Abby held her gently between her teeth, letting her jaw work easily. She continued to manipulate her tongue over the sensitive nub, flicking and circling until Simone trembled on the verge of release.
“Inside, please.” Simone gripped her own leg with her left hand, and her fingernails cut white, crescent impressions into her flesh. Abby envisioned a similar set on her scalp.
She continued to lick, testing Simone’s limits. She brought her fingers to Simone’s opening, and the thought of filling her made Abby weak with desire.
Simone grabbed her wrist in one hand and stopped her from entering. She pulled Abby’s mouth from her, forcing her head back until she looked Simone in the eye.
“Hands behind your back, please.” Simone dropped to her knees between Abby and the chair. She guided Abby’s hands where she wanted them and demonstrated that she should clasp them together like a soldier at ease.
Simone was close and her breath was hot against Abby’s bare neck and shoulders. Abby clasped her right hand in her left as Simone requested, and her breasts jutted out, pressing into Simone urgently. “Like this?” she asked, her voice a raspy whisper.
“Hmmm.” Simone tilted her head to the side. “Let me help you remember.” Simone brought both hands between them and cupped Abby’s breasts through her bra. She squeezed and massaged until Abby was on the brink of begging for more. Then Simone slid her arms around Abby’s body and released the clasps. Her bra sagged but remained in place.
Simone slowly, patiently snaked her finger under the bottom edge of the fabric and circled to the front. She moved with leisurely ease that was at odds with the urgent fire filling Abby. When Simone reached the front again, she slipped the cups up until Abby was fully exposed. Simone lifted the fabric over Abby’s head and eased it down her arms until it met at her clasped hands. Abby started to remove it completely and Simone stopped her.
“No, keep your hands like that.”
Simone kissed the side of Abby’s neck, and the sensation traveled over her skin like a wave. She almost collapsed with joy. Then she felt Simone’s hands in motion, tying the bra snug around her wrists. She couldn’t move her hands now even if she wanted. The thrill of being restrained caught Abby off guard. She wasn’t supposed to like any of this, but it felt amazing. She struggled lightly to test the bond and Simone cinched it tighter.
Simone pulled back until Abby could see her eyes, then quietly asked, “Okay?”
Abby nodded, jerky and so very certain. “Yes.”
“Good.” Simone kissed Abby again. Gentle approval washed over her with Simone’s touch, followed by pressing need.
Simone cupped her breasts again, her touch bordering on reverent. She dropped her head to kiss first one nipple, then the other. Abby arched as Simone opened her mouth and sucked her nipple inside. She was gentle at first, but the pressure gradually increased until all Abby was, all she would ever be, was captured in that one pinpoint perfect place in time. Heat pulsed through her like a firebrand, and she almost ruptured when Simone took the other side between her fingers and squeezed hard enough to match the pressure of her mouth.
Abby screamed. Or she thought she did. Or maybe she didn’t make a sound at all. She was lost to the sensation, to the rushing blood in her body. All external sound faded to oblivious periphery. And then Simone sucked harder, squeezed harder, and Abby flew apart. She was so wet, her panties and slacks ruined, as her desire overflowed. Simone whispered in her ear, indistinguishable words that eased her through the tide of orgasm. She came back to herself slowly, and the ocean roaring in her ears receded until she was left quivering on her floor, held upright by a smug-looking Simone. Abby closed her eyes and rested her head against Simone’s shoulder.
“Fuck,” Abby moaned. She struggled to regain her posture.
“Easy. It’s okay.” Simone stroked her hair as she held her. “Have you ever done that before?” Simone cupped her breast and softly grazed her thumb over the nipple.
Abby yelped. “No. But I’d like to do it again some time.” She smiled and forced her body to relax into Simone’s touch. Simone continued to stroke her nipple through the
pain until Abby was panting and ready for more.
“Good.” Simone kissed Abby lightly on the lips. Then she grabbed the bottle of champagne from the table. “Thirsty?”
“Yeah.” Abby was parched.
Simone took a drink, then brought her mouth to Abby’s. She shared the liquid through their kiss, and Abby licked at Simone’s mouth to consume every taste. The next drink, Simone offered to Abby directly from the bottle. She held it to Abby’s lips and tipped it back. Abby gulped down swallow after swallow, until she could hold no more. The excess flowed down her neck and chest, and still Simone kept pouring.
Simone finally pulled the bottle away and set it on the floor next to them. She licked her way over Abby’s throat and chest, flicking her tongue gently over Abby’s nipples. She worked her way back up to Abby’s neck, sucking hard on the skin there. The sensation of her blood being pulled to the surface, disrupted from its normal flow by the demanding suction of Simone’s mouth, excited Abby. Abby could only imagine how much makeup it would take to cover the mark for work the next day, yet she didn’t want Simone to ever stop. This woman had proved herself capable of sucking an orgasm out of Abby from two different points on her body—first her clit, then her nipple. She’d gladly give her body up to experimentation to see if they could expand the list of successes. Simone released her evenly, then licked over the mark with the flat of her tongue.
Abby was still recovering as Simone returned to her seated position above her. Once again, she tapped Abby on the shoulder.
“Finish, please.”
Simone sat before Abby, statue perfect, poised and unflustered, as Abby gasped for breath. The sight of Simone spreading herself open, wet desire clinging to her lips and glistening over her inner thighs, excited Abby further. How did Simone manage to look so calm? It irritated the hell out of Abby, and it was her personal mission from this moment on to upend Simone’s composure.
“Are you always in control?” Abby asked the question as she leaned in to suck on a small patch of skin high on Simone’s inner thigh. It was much harder to balance with her hands tied behind her, and she wavered for a moment. She sucked harder than she intended. Simone’s answering flood of new arousal pleased Abby.