"Well, I hope it will be a success," Jayne said. "Flo's been working all afternoon on the food. She got word that some of the neighbors heard about it and plan to come."
"That's my fault," Maureen said. "I ran into a few in town and mentioned it and word got around, and now even one of Sam's old girlfriends is coming, not that he'd be interested in her again. They started dating their senior year in high school, and Ashley definitely had her sights on marrying Sam just before he went off to college. She's recently divorced, and from what her mother said, she's ready to jump from the frying pan into the fire. The problem is, I think Sam's ready to do the same, not that he doesn't love you because I think he does, but things with the two of you moved way too fast, and there are issues with the children."
"I know, that's why I'm backing out of his life," Jayne said, though now she wasn't at all sure that's what she wanted. In fact, she knew it wasn't what she wanted, only that there seem to be no choice with the way things were. But it troubled her that Sam could be open to a relationship.
We have an impossible situation and we're a long way from a resolution...
I think you just answered my question...
So in Sam's mind he was available, and whoever Ashley was would remind him of that fact.
"Here," Maureen said, extending her arm with the square dance outfit draped over it. "Fix yourself up, take off your manager's hat for the evening, and have a good time."
Jayne lifted the outfit from Maureen's arm, holding in one hand a ruffled skirt with gored panels alternating with delicate pansies and dainty stripes, and in the other hand, a peasant-style blouse of the same flowery fabric, and with half sleeves and a scalloped ruffle around the neck. Definitely not her style, but kind of cute. She wondered if Ashley would be dressed for square dancing or if she'd come slinking in wearing jeans and a bust-hugging western-cut shirt, designed to catch Sam's eye.
"Sam really gets into this," Maureen said, "and he always liked this outfit."
"Then it was Susan's?" Jayne asked, refusing to wear it if it was.
Maureen laughed. "No, Susan wouldn't be caught dead in it. It's one of mine."
Jayne looked at Maureen, curious. "Why are you offering it to me?" she asked, deciding she was tired of trying to be subtle. If Maureen changed her mind about her and Sam, she wanted to know. If Maureen was trying to put a wedge between them by having her dress like a hayseed, she wanted to know that too.
Maureen gave Jayne a wry smile, and said, "I never much liked Ashley," then turned and left. And Jayne realized Maureen had offered the dress as a kind of peace offering...
Or maybe her approval that she should hold onto Sam a little longer.
She draped the blouse across her chest and looked at herself in the mirror and almost laughed out loud. Definitely not her style, and she was sure she'd feel like Ellie Mae Klampett when she arrived at the dance. But she'd be damned if whoever Ashley was would snatch Sam away from her, at least not until she was certain there was no future for them.
***
The place was lively, the combo of banjo, fiddle and harmonica, accompanied by stomping feet and clapping hands sending cobwebs, and dust motes, and specks of hay and other debris slipping from cracks in the barn loft and hovering in the air.
"Salute your partners, first couple to the right," Sam called out, foot tapping to the beat, "swing four hands, halfway around, and right and left six, with your opposite couple! Balance your partners, and swing your corners, and promenade all..."
All evening he'd been calling the dance, while waiting and hoping Jayne would show up. But after almost an hour, he figured she'd decided to pass. He'd thought about tracking her down earlier to make sure she'd come, because he wanted an excuse to hold her in his arms during the regular dancing segment, but he couldn't get away long enough, with wiring the barn for sound, and getting the musicians set up, and needing to be around when people started drifting in.
The music stopped, and he called a thirty-minute break from square dancing, and while the band settled into country and western, he headed for the food table, which was located across the dancing area at the rear of the barn. He was almost there, when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned, hoping it was Jayne, and saw instead, Ashley Phillips. Although the old flame had long since died, Ashley didn't look half bad for a woman in her late thirties. Still trim, while some of the other girls in his high school graduating class had begun to spread in the hips, she also held on to that famous smile he'd remembered, even after surviving a nasty divorce.
"Hey, handsome," she said then gave him a hug he thought was a little overkill. "You look good. Single life seems to suit you. I heard about you and Susan."
"I suppose most everyone has. It's been almost three years now," Sam said, wondering where this was going, hoping it didn't sound like an invitation.
"I'm divorced too," Ashley said. "I guess we both made bad choices."
Sam looked at her, dubiously. Yeah, he'd made a bad choice back then, but Ashley didn't have the fix. "We live and learn," he said, not wanting to offer any hope of getting back together. He suspected she'd come for that reason.
"You were one of the only good dancers back in high school," Ashley said. "I wouldn't mind trying it again, just for old time's sake."
"I haven't danced in years," Sam replied, his eyes scanning the room for Jayne on the off chance she might have decided to come.
"Then you need a refresher," Ashley said. "Come on, Sam, don't be shy. That's not like you."
Sam glanced beyond Ashley and spotted Jayne standing in the entrance to the barn, her slender figure clad in one of his mother's square dancing outfits, a tangle of black curls framing her face. The sight of her sent his heart into palpitations.
"Sam?" Ashley said. "The music's started. One dance for old time's sake."
Sam looked at Ashley with a start. "What?"
"The music. It's started. I'm waiting for you to dance with me." She took one of his hands and put it on her waist, then grabbed his other hand with her own, and said, "You're acting like you're going into early senility. Start with the box step if you can't remember anything else."
Sam attempted to follow the music, but his attention was divided between trying to spot Jayne, who had disappeared among the crowd, and what Ashley was saying.
"I never thought it would last with you and Susan," Ashley said. "She always came across as being self-centered."
Sam spotted Jayne at the long food table, and this time, he caught her eye.
"Sam?" Ashley said, bringing his attention back to her. "A lot of years have gone by, and we've both had bad marriages, and we've both learned from them. Maybe we could get together for dinner and catch up on things."
Sam peered over the top of Ashley's head as he turned her in his arms so he could scan the people at the food table, and saw that Jayne was no longer there.
"Sam!" Ashley snapped. "You're stepping all over my feet. Maybe we'd better sit and talk."
"Look, I'm sorry," Sam said. "My mind's not on this. Maybe we could catch up another time." He dropped his arms from around her and stopped in the middle of the dance floor, his gaze shifting from Ashley to where Jayne was standing off to the side, staring at him. She looked troubled, and he wondered if it was because he was with Ashley.
Ashley turned in the direction of his gaze, and said, "That must be your new manager."
Sam nodded, and found himself smiling.
"I think I've kind of been making a fool of myself, haven't I, Sam," Ashley said. "I heard you had something for her, but I wasn't sure. Gossip around here has a way of creating itself."
Sam forced himself to concentrate on Ashley, as he said, "No, you haven't made a fool of yourself any more than I have. Yeah, I have something for her, and no she doesn't have anything for me, but I'm about to change that. I'm sorry Ash."
Ashley smiled, rose up on her tiptoes and kissed Sam lightly on the lips, and said, "That was for old time's sake, though if I remember right, o
ur kisses were a little bit more fiery."
Sam didn't even want to think of kissing any other women. His sights were on Jayne, and even though he'd vowed to stop groveling at her feet, he couldn't seem to stick to the plan. She still dominated his thoughts. "Take a little advice from someone who's telling you to do as I say, not as I do," he said to Ashley, "don't go rushing headlong into anything. Your head's not on straight after a divorce. I know mine's not."
Ashley placed her hand on his arm, and said, "We did have some good times though, don't you think?"
Sam looked down at her, and smiled. "Yeah, we had some good times, but we need to leave it at that."
Ashley gave a little uncertain shrug, and said, "I was afraid you'd say that, but I do have one question for you." Sam waited. "If your new manager hadn't come along right now, do you think there might have been a chance for us to get back together?"
Sam shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. But we ended things once before, so if we did get back together, it still wouldn't have been right."
"We didn't end things," Ashley said. "You did."
"Yeah, I guess I did," Sam replied, "but I've never had anything like this happen to me before, this thing I have for Jayne. It's strange, and confusing."
Ashley smiled, sadly. "Then good luck with her."
Sam looked into a pair of sincere blue eyes and wondered why Ashley couldn't be his Grace. She was divorced because her husband cheated on her, just like Susan cheated on him. For that reason alone they should gravitate towards each other, and Ashley was even-tempered, and pretty, but all he felt for her was a little nostalgia, but no spark. But when he looked at Jayne, it was like an electric current was shooting through him, sending a charge rushing up and firing his heart to beat erratically, and making his chest feel like it was in a vise, and screwing with his mind until it was like he had tunnel vision only for her. "Thanks. I'll need it," he said. He walked Ashley off the dance area and headed toward Jayne.
As he approached, Jayne smiled at him, but it was a cheerless smile that didn't reach her eyes. "She doesn't mean anything to me," he said, then realized how ludicrous it was, assuming Jayne was sad because he'd been with Ashley.
"What are you talking about?" Jayne asked.
"Ashley. The woman I was dancing with. She's an old girlfriend," Sam said, knowing he was acting like he was in high school again, hoping some girl would get jealous because he was with another girl. Pretty immature stuff for a man in his thirties.
"I know," Jayne said. "Your mother told me."
"She did? Why?" Now he was baffled.
"She said she never liked her much."
"She didn't. Ashley wore tight, low-cut shirts to catch my attention. It worked for me, but not my folks," Sam said. "Why did my mother tell you about her?"
"I guess she wants to make sure you don't run off with her," Jayne replied.
"Then she loaned you the dress to..." he paused.
Jayne shrugged. "Catch your eye, I suppose."
Sam smiled. "Honey, all you have to do is walk in the room and you catch my eye," he said. "But when I saw you, you didn't look happy."
"I'm fine. Just worried. Becca was quiet when she came home from school today. I asked her if everything was okay and she said it was, but I know it isn't. I want to talk to her teacher next week if I can get off work for a little while."
"Sure, you can get off, but she's probably going through a period of adjustment to a new school and new friends and a new mother. She just needs a little time. Tomorrow, Brad and Justine and Sophie will be back for the weekend. Becca can make friends with Sophie."
"That will be nice," Jayne said. "I liked Sophie when she was here before."
"Everyone likes Sophie," Sam said, "including Ricky. Maybe some of Sophie will rub off on him, but mainly she'll be good for Becca. She's well-mannered and she knows what it's like to lose a mother and get a step-mother. She and Becca will have a lot in common."
"I hope so," Jayne said, wistfully.
"Come on. I want to dance with you," Sam said. "It'll take your mind off things."
"I suppose," Jayne replied, and walked into Sam's arms.
Sam tightened his arms around her, and said, "I've missed you."
Jayne looked up at him. "I've missed you too. I hate what's happening."
Sam saw her nostrils flaring with her quickened breaths, and knew she was being affected the same way as he. "I hate what's happening too. I'm going a little bit crazy right now. Can we go somewhere?"
"Don't you have to call the dances?" Jayne asked.
Sam sucked in a long, mind-clearing breath. "Like I said, if it's not one damn thing it's another, but, if I could get away, would you want to be with me?" he asked, knowing if she said yes, he'd feel that much closer to madness. He'd never wanted a woman like this before, never obsessed over a woman, or wanted to follow her around just to look at her, or felt like she'd taken over his mind and was controlling his body, until he seemed trapped in a state of lustful want that only she could satisfy...
"You know I do," Jayne replied, "but since that's not an option, I try not to think about it."
"If you can teach me how not to think about it, I might be able to get back to life as I once knew it." Sam said.
"I'm sorry. I really have messed up your life," Jayne replied. "You were doing fine before I came."
"You haven't messed up my life," Sam said. "You've messed up my sex life. Before you came I didn't have one. Now I'm horny because I get that way whenever I think about you, which is most of the time, and I could use a little relief from time to time."
Jayne reached up and touched his face, and said, "And I would like nothing more than to give you that relief right now, but we both know that's impossible."
"How about we go to my house?" Sam said. "Rick's not there, and square dancing won't start again for another twenty minutes, and we'd have the house all to ourselves."
"That still won't work," Jayne replied. "I have to get Becca from Grace's. If it's any consolation, I feel as desperate as you."
Sam turned, and holding her hand, pulled her across the barn and out the door. Masked in shadow, he took her in his arms and kissed her long and hard, and Jayne returned the kiss with a passion that surprised Sam, after everything that had happened. But when the kiss was over, he said, "This is totally inadequate," then pulled her into a tack room off the back of the barn and shut the door. But through a small window, and by the glow from the overhead utility lights outside, he could see her, just as she could see him.
"We have twenty minutes," he said, "but honey I'm literally going mad, and you said you wanted a ring on your finger before making love, and I still have the ring—" he reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring with a diamond that caught the light "—and I'm going to put it on your finger now, and make love to you, and afterwards you can either keep it on your finger and marry me, or take it off and give it back until we make love again and—"
"Sam," she cut him off, "just put the ring on my finger. We're running out of time."
Sam slipped it on her finger, then grabbed a folded horse blanket off the shelf above them, shook it out, sending it billowing against the floor, and tugged her down to the blanket.
"You'll be laying on a hard floor, and I'm going to kiss off all your make up, and your face is going to be flushed when we finish, and—"
"Hush," Jayne said. She grabbed the lapels of his shirt and yanked the snaps apart, and said, "I've been wanting to do this all evening. And this." She kissed her way across his chest. But before she could go further, he stripped off his clothes and hers, and said, "I want to give you what you want, honey. How much time do you need?"
"I don't need any," Jayne said. "All I need is you."
Sam moved over her and in one fluid movement, joined his body with hers in a union that was heated, and intense, and brought them climaxing in a harmonizing rhythm that left them both breathless. But before they moved apart, Jayne said, in all sincerity, "Do you think there
's something special about us that we peak at the same time, or does it happen with other couples?"
"It's us," Sam said. "We're wired for love making together, like we're operating on the same frequency. If we did a little research we'd probably find an explanation."
Jayne kissed him one last time, and said, "We need to get back to the dance. Eventually someone's going to look around and notice that the square dance caller and his guest ranch manager have been missing for a while, and come looking for us."
"I suppose," Sam said, with resolve.
But before they left the tack room, Jayne removed the ring and handed it to Sam, and said, "You'd better keep it. I loved having it on my finger, but now we're back to reality."
"For how long?" Sam asked. "I want the ring on your finger permanently, maybe not starting tonight, but soon. We can work out the problems with the kids. Couples blend families all the time. Half my friends have done it."
"Reality doesn't go away," Jayne said, "and the issues keeping us apart seem to be increasing. I have no idea what's going on with Becca, but if there are problems at school I'm not going to make her face them. If necessary, I'll move to a neighborhood close to her old school so she can go there. According to her adoptive grandmother, Becca was doing well there and had lots of friends. They all knew about her mother, and she had a support group of kids and teachers. She needs that now."
Sam wanted to argue every point he could think.
It's a new school, she'll adjust... if we were married she'd have two parents to help her... Ricky's a good kid, he'll come around... the ranch is a good place to raise kids...
He could go on and on, but the reality for Jayne was, Becca came above all else because Jayne owed it to the daughter she'd been forced to give up for adoption, and had regretted ever since, and was given a second chance to make things right. He had no argument for that.
Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) Page 56