"Jayne and I can't have any kids," Sam said. "I'm no longer able to because I had chemo when I got cancer shortly after you were born. I never told you because everything's fine now, I'm completely recovered and that's the way it is."
"Why can't you have kids if you've had chemo?" Rick asked, looking directly at Sam and waiting for his response.
Sam wasn't ready for any of this. The whole conversation was one he hadn't planned on having for several years. "Because chemo sometimes does things that stops men from being able to produce sperm to fertilize the woman's egg. Everything else works fine though," he added.
Rick eyed him, curiously. "Everything else like what?"
"Like when... like when..." Sam paused.
Like I'm not a eunuch... like whenever Jayne's around I'm cocked and ready... like I can satisfy Jayne in every way... except give her a child...
"Nothing. I'm fine."
Rick didn't reply, and although he was walking alongside Sam and staring down at the water's edge, Sam knew he wasn't looking for agates, but was trying to sort through things. He hoped Rick would be satisfied with his sketchy explanation about his inability to father a child.
To his dismay, Rick said, "I had chemo before my cord-blood transplant. Does that mean I can't have kids?"
"No," Sam assured him. "Just because a person has chemo doesn't mean he becomes sterile."
"Then why are you?" Rick asked.
Sam heaved a long sigh. He definitely wasn't prepared to get into all this today, but Rick asked, and he deserved an explanation. "Because I had cancer in my testicles," he explained, "which meant the therapy was aimed in that area, which is where sperm is produced, and because I was already a mature man, that is, I was already shaving, that makes it different. You were just a baby and not ready to reproduce, so you're probably fine." He realized after he'd said it that including the word probably added an element of doubt that wouldn't be there without it, and he hoped Rick would overlook it.
"Sophie wants lots of kids," Rick said.
Sam stared at Rick. He knew Rick and Sophie had been close friends since the day Sophie arrived at the ranch and was turned over to Brad, three years before, but Rick was only nine, and Sophie eight, not ages kids start planning their lives. "You'll have lots of girlfriends before you decide on the woman you want to marry," he said.
"Yeah, but Sophie thinks I'm marrying her," Rick replied, "and she wants lots of kids like Aunt Grace and Uncle Jack have because Sophie's an only child too."
"Sophie will have lots of boyfriends before she decides who to marry," Sam said.
Rick said nothing, but the way he stomped on the swollen end of a length of kelp that had washed onto the beach definitely had an edge to it. She's marrying me, were Rick's unspoken words. Puppy love, Sam decided, and vowed to give it no further thought. "Back to Jayne and me," he said, "then you don't have any objections?"
Rick shrugged, and said, "Jayne's okay. Becca too."
Sam smiled, then glanced over his shoulder and saw Jayne and Becca starting back towards them. He also saw Jayne's thumbs up. He turned and started towards her.
"What about collecting agates?" Rick asked. "We don't have any."
"That's okay," Sam replied. "We'll celebrate becoming a family with ice cream, taffy, the undersea gardens, and buying a couple of giant kites for you and Becca. Okay?"
When Sam held up a high five, Rick smacked his hand, and said, "Yeah! Can I go tell Becca?"
"You sure can," Sam replied. "And send Jayne back here..."
As Rick raced off, Sam fingered the ring in his pocket. He'd envisioned it on Jayne's finger from the day he'd bought it, shortly before the restaurant fiasco. So much had happened since then he'd almost given up hope. But when he saw Rick tell Becca, followed by Becca jumping up and down, and Jayne laughing and starting toward him, he quickened his pace until he was running toward her. He caught her up in his arms and whirled her around. The kiss that followed said it all. But when it was over, Sam reached into his pocket, took out the ring, and said, "With this ring I give you my heart forever, if you'll take it."
Jayne looked up at him with tears of happiness in her eyes, and said, "I thought this day would never come." Sam took her hand and gently slipped the ring on her finger.
Jayne stretched out her hand so the ring caught the afternoon sun, sending little shards of light winking at them, and said, contemplatively, "Mrs. Samuel Hansen. I like the sound of that."
"So do I," Sam replied. "So do I." Taking her hand, he walked with her towards the kids, who were crouched over an array of agates that had swept ashore, and smiled. He'd found his family at last. A feeling of satisfaction washed over him.
EPILOGUE
McMinnville, Oregon - Twelve years later
As Jayne watched Sam walk Becca down the aisle, tears filled her eyes. She wished Becca's adoptive mother could have been there to see Becca married, and she knew Becca felt the loss, even though her mother had been gone for years. But now Becca was leaving the nest, and as Jayne's eyes shifted between Sophie and Rick, she wondered if one of them might be next, if not them together. Although they'd never dated, because the only times they'd been together were during Brad and Justine's visits to the ranch, there was no question that Rick had his eyes on Sophie, who was one of the flower girls. In fact, he couldn't seem to keep them off her.
Shifting her gaze from Rick, she scanned Grace and Jack's brood—six groomsmen standing like stair steps, all with Jack and Grace's dark hair and dark eyes, except one, who stood out in stark contrast to the others. Shorter than his twin, hair lighter and with natural golden streaks, and odd-colored eyes unlike anyone in the family, Marc must have wondered over the years why he was different from the rest. But seeing all the Hansen boys standing in a row, including Rick, who was best man, also with dark brown hair and eyes, it seemed that no one in the church could miss the contrast. Even little Maddy, Grace and Jack's youngest, had her parents' brown hair and dark eyes. Adam and Marc were eighteen now, so it was long past time they learned the truth.
Sam took his place beside her and covered her hand with his, giving it a little squeeze, then he focused on the wedding. Becca was a beautiful bride, and she was marrying a gem of a man, though he still had three more years in the Air Force before he intended to return to Oregon and go to college, but Becca was up to the challenge of being a military wife...
And living away from the ranch...
Where she'd be leaving behind her mother and the only true father she'd ever known...
Jayne sniffled, and Sam passed her a tissue from his pocket.
Then another tissue when the vows were being exchanged.
And another when the minister introduced Mr. and Mrs. Chase Emery.
Sam put his arm around Jayne then, and said, "Honey, he'll be out of the Air Force in three years and they'll be back living in Oregon."
Jayne dabbed her eyes. "I know, but it's the first time she'll be away from us, I mean, really away." She dabbed her eyes again. "And with Rick returning to college, and Becca taking Sparky with them, we won't even have a cat. We'll be all alone."
Sam handed her another tissue. "You forget, honey, we have twenty-four guests scheduled to arrive tomorrow."
"But that's in the lodge and in the cabins. I think we need a puppy," she announced. "Something to sit with us in the evening."
Sam looked at her, incredulous. "You've never wanted a dog in the house."
"That's before," Jayne said. "Maybe a second puppy so it could have a friend."
"Honey, you're being a little irrational, but that's okay. If you want a puppy we'll get one, but maybe you'd better think about it for a week or so."
Jayne nodded, knowing she was being irrational, but she'd missed the first ten years of Becca's life, and the twelve years they'd had her had gone by way too fast...
She snatched the tissue that Sam had ready for her, and said, "This is the last of it. I'm really fine now..." One more tissue to blot her eyes and dab h
er nose...
Two hours later, with the family back at the ranch, and after Maureen had retired to her house for the evening, and Becca and Chase were staying at a quaint hotel in McMinnville for their honeymoon night before continuing to Victoria, British Columbia for their honeymoon, Jayne and Sam sat in the lodge with Jack and Grace and Brad and Justine, all of them mostly quiet, just recovering from a very long day.
Jayne was done with the silly motherly tears, and she felt a little embarrassed over her lack of control, and now the idea of a puppy seemed as silly as it was impractical. But of all the happenings of the day, she couldn't shove aside the image of the lineup of boys, all tall and dark haired and dark eyed, except one.
Looking across at Jack and Grace, who were sitting on a couch, opposite from where she sat with Sam, Jayne said, "Adam and Marc are eighteen now, and Rick's twenty-one. Don't you think it's time to tell the boys the truth?"
Grace looked at her with a start. "Why would you bring that up now? It's Becca's wedding."
"I'm sorry, Grace," Jayne said, "but any time it's ever been brought up, you find another excuse to sweep it back under the rug."
"You make it sound like we're doing something underhanded," Grace said, in a huff. "It's not like we're doing something wrong. It's for the boys' own good. Jack and I both agreed on this." She looked at Jack, whose face remained impassive.
Sam leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and said, while his eyes shifted between Grace and Jack, "Actually, I tend to agree with Jayne. For years I've said nothing because I didn't want Susan to look bad in Rick's eyes, and because you two seemed to think it would mess up Marc if he knew Susan had given him up, but I'm not concerned about Susan's image anymore. Rick's seen how she's been over the years, moving one man after another into her place. He'd hardly think less of her than he already does if he learned she'd given up Marc. As for Marc, he knows he's as much a part of your family as the rest of your boys."
Grace glared at Sam. "You're saying that because Rick has nothing to lose by learning the truth, but how would you feel if you suddenly learned that not only did your mother get pregnant with you only to save her other child, but she didn't want you afterwards because you were an inconvenience. As for Rick, he's alive because of Marc, so he could hardly be upset to learn that Marc's his half-brother instead of his cousin."
The sound of something hitting the floor brought heads around. To her shock, Jayne saw Becca standing in the doorway, a look of total disbelief on her face. Jayne immediately went over to where Becca stood, picked up her glasses case that had slipped from her hands, and said, "We thought you'd gone, honey. Is something wrong?"
Becca scanned the others, then said to Jayne, in a faltering voice, "We... uh... came back because I never got a chance to tell you and Dad goodbye, and to thank you and everyone for all you've done." Saying nothing about what she'd heard, she went over and gave Sam a bear hug, then went to each of the others and did the same. But when she started to leave, Jayne said, "I'll walk you to the car."
As soon as they stepped outside, Becca turned to Jayne, and said, "How could you and Dad and the others do that, Mom? Marc should know he's Rick's half-brother. I don't understand. All the while I was growing up you told me you should never live with lies, and that's why you were glad I knew all about your being in prison, and why, and now I find out you and Dad and the others kept it from Rick that he has a half-brother, and from Adam that his twin is really his cousin, and from me that I have another step-brother. It's just wrong."
"I know, honey," Jayne said, "but it's what Aunt Grace and Uncle Jack want, so the rest of us have to honor their wishes, even if we don't agree."
"Then who is Marc's real father?" Becca asked. "I know it can't be Dad."
"It's Aunt Grace's first husband," Jayne replied.
After Jayne briefly explained about the accidental sperm switch at the fertility clinic, Becca said, "Then am I supposed to go along with this lie too?" She stared at Jayne and waited.
For a few moments Jayne said nothing. What Becca was presenting was exactly what she'd been raised to believe, that one should never hide from the truth. But they'd all been hiding the truth from the boys so long that to reveal it now seemed counterproductive, even if it was wrong.
"No, honey," she finally replied. "You need to do whatever your conscious tells you to do. But for now, I want you and Chase to go on your honeymoon and have a wonderful time, and settle into married life. Things here will work out the way they should. We'll talk about it when you come home for a visit."
"You don't plan to say anything, do you," Becca said.
"It's your wedding, honey, but maybe later, after things settle down."
"You sound just like Aunt Grace, sweeping it all back under the rug."
Before Jayne had to respond, Chase stepped out of the car, and Sam emerged from the lodge. They said their final goodbyes, and Becca said nothing more, but as the car was driving off, Sam said to Jayne, "Did you tell her not to say anything to Rick?"
"No," Jayne replied, "I told her to follow her conscience."
Sam, a bleak look on his face, said nothing, just stood staring at the car as it headed down the road with the honeymooners.
But as the red taillights disappeared into the night, Jayne slipped her arm into the crook of Sam's elbow and smiled up at him, a feigned smile she hoped he wouldn't see through, and said, "Maybe a puppy would be nice. Like my mother always said, a family just isn't a family without a corgi. I'll check the ads tomorrow," then she realized she was doing exactly as Becca accused her of doing, sweeping it all back under the rug. And maybe that's where it should stay.
Only time would tell.
###
Thank you!
Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed Living With Lies. If you did, I'd love for you to:
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Read the first three chapters of Uncertain Loyalties, which is Book 4 in my Dancing Moon Ranch Series. I hope you'll like what you read well enough to buy The Lies Uncovered Trilogy, which contains Books 4, 5, and 6 of the series, or Uncertain Loyalties.
Check out the Dancing Moon Family Album on my website. On it you'll find photos of everyone in the family now, and those to come, along with covers and descriptions of all the books in the series. I love to hear from readers, so while you're there please drop me a line and I'll respond. Here's the link to my website: www.patriciawatters.com
STORY DESCRIPTION: All her life Sophie Meecham was told that modesty was a virtue and sex before marriage was wrong, so when she learns that her step-mother slept her way up the corporate ladder before marrying her father, Sophie’s so angry and disillusioned she shows up unexpectedly at the Dancing Moon Ranch to vent to her lifelong friend, Rick Hansen. Rick too is disillusioned. Sophie’s changed from the woman he’d grown to love over the years, and even envisioned marrying. In fact, she's so mad, she rebels against everything that’s been instilled in her, even tries to have sex with Rick. But he wants no part of it. Although he doesn’t want the woman Sophie is now, he doesn’t want any other man to have her either. But soon after, a life-altering incident has Sophie looking at Rick, her buddy, in a whole new light. It's also clear, the man she’s falling in love with has fallen out of love with her, and it will be an uphill battle to prove to Rick she's still the woman he'd always thought her to be.
CHAPTER 1
Dancing Moon Ranch - Sheridan, Oregon
Rick Hansen studied his mother as she went through a litany of excuses as to why she'd dropped in at his father's house at the ranch to see Rick, all the while trying to make her way to the real reason she'd come, which would be to borrow money. Ask for money, he corrected. She never paid him
back. But as she talked, he couldn't help but notice the hard lines around her mouth and etched in the outer corners of her eyes. From the neck down she still looked like a woman in her twenties, but there were many telltale signs in her face now that screamed of middle age. She wouldn't want those pointed out. In contrast, his stepmother, Jayne, had one of those ageless faces. Or maybe that happened when a woman was happy with her life.
"I started a new program, working with pregnant women," Susan Hansen said. "It's brought in a few new clients." She let out a long audible sigh. Underlying meaning behind that sigh: It's brought in a few new clients, but not enough to make ends meet.
"What about Don? Doesn't he pay anything?" Don was his mother's latest live-in, who shared her private quarters above the fitness center. Rick only met the guy once, but the man had toy boy written all over him—at least ten years younger than his mother, snug workout shorts, tight tank top, arm draped around the older woman who was keeping him. But Don wasn't the one who concerned Rick now. It was the younger guy he'd seen at his mother's place the week before, a seventeen-year-old kid his mother claimed she'd taken under her wing because of an issue he was having with his family. Although his mother's live-ins had become progressively younger over the years, even as his mother grew older, he hoped like hell she hadn't crossed the line this time, but it wouldn't be the first time she'd have two guys living with her. The last time she'd claimed the "extra" man needed a place to live until he could find work…
"Why are you looking at me like that?" his mother asked.
Rick realized he'd been staring at her the way he did when he was trying to sort it all out. "I was just wondering why you let some guy live with you if he isn't paying his share of expenses."
"Don will pay when he gets a job," Susan pointed out, in the tone she used when she was trying to explain away the unexplainable. "He's looking for work now and I'm sure he'll find something soon. He's young and strong." She smiled as if things were fine, but her lips twitched, and Rick saw that her hands were clasped tightly in her lap.
Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) Page 60