by Nicki Elson
“Sure,” Jen agreed as she made one last swipe at the mess on her shirt.
“Don’t worry about that.” Dave lowered his lips to ear. “I’ll have you out of it in no time.”
Jen drank what was left of her beer, and they left. This time Jen and Dave had the back seat of Jason’s car all to themselves, and they made full use of it. Jason blasted Fall Out Boy up front and peeled away from the curb. Before they were very far down the road, Dave was on top of Jen, thrusting his tongue past her lips while his hands worked overtime.
She’d spent the last four days daydreaming about making out with him, so she didn’t complain when he unhooked her bra and kneaded one of her breasts. His other hand fumbled at her waist, attempting to unbutton her jeans. She had to protest. He was moving way too fast—and Jason was only two feet away! With Dave’s tongue jammed in her mouth, she couldn’t say anything, so she grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her pants. No matter how many times she repeated the motion, his hand found its way back.
Jen was so busy managing Dave, she hadn’t even thought about where they were going. She didn’t notice the car had stopped until she heard the front door slam shut. Dave broke suction and lifted a few inches off of her to look out the window. “We’re here.” He sat all the way up and opened the back door.
Jen refastened her bra before grabbing her coat off the floor and sliding out of the car. She followed Dave up to a shabby two-story house.
“Mi casa,” Dave informed her, holding open the front door.
She stepped into the house and heard voices coming from a bright room off to the right. She half-turned in that direction, but Dave clamped his long fingers around her hips and steered her up a dark, narrow staircase, guiding her to his bedroom, no doubt. She’d been in this kind of situation before—just not with anyone quite as commanding and persuasive as Dave. She’d have to lay down her ground rules the moment they got up there.
Dave directed her into his room and shut the door behind them. Jen turned her back on the pale moonlight that fought its way through thin curtains at the window. Before she could say anything, Dave lunged at her, sucking and biting at the side of her throat while he unhooked her bra again. This time he reached in with both hands to roughly claw at her breasts. She became more convinced he’d done something more than drink earlier that night. He was acting like a totally different person.
“Dave, I—”.
“Shh.” He brought his mouth to hers, sliding his hot, pulsating tongue into her. He was like a rushing train that she felt powerless to stop. He unbuttoned her shirt and yanked it off her, along with her bra. She didn’t mind some heavy making out—it’s what she’d been hoping for—but Dave clearly had something more in mind, and he wasn’t giving her an opportunity to tell him no. Without bothering to try to unfasten the button at her waist again, he shoved a hand down the back of her jeans.
“Dave, stop!” She pushed back enough to break him away from her mouth. His hand remained in the back of her pants but stopped moving.
He tilted his head as he looked at her, breathing gusts of warm breath onto her face. Jen took in the shadows of his finely chiseled features. Wild flames flashed in his eyes, making them even more captivating. Despite being so angry a second ago, her first thought in that moment was, God, he’s beautiful. She found it hard to believe this gorgeous creature wanted her.
“I’m sorry,” she said more softly than she’d intended. “It’s just…you’re moving kind of fast.”
The tension in his perfect features relaxed. “I can slow it down.” He leaned in for another kiss.
Jen pulled her head back before he could connect. “I’m not going to—we can’t have sex tonight.”
“Aw, baby…” His voice was a deep, seductive purr.
She knew she shouldn’t have waited until he was so worked up to let him know her parameters. But as she’d said the words, she’d felt the truth of them. She couldn’t take that step with someone she hardly knew. So far their physical chemistry had overridden any genuine attempts to get to know each other—but that didn’t mean they’d never get there.
Yet Jen realized Dave was the kind of guy who usually got what he wanted from girls. She couldn’t expect him to stick around long enough to see if they could become something more if she never gave him anything. Leaning in, she bit playfully at his lower lip. “No sex, but there are other things…” She pulled at the closure of his jeans.
Dave’s mouth spread into a dirty smile. “I like the way you think, Gigi.”
She pulled his shirt up and off, running her hands over his smooth, firm chest. The stiff buttons of his nipples tickled her palms as her hands moved down his tight torso. When she reached his narrow waist, he pulled her to him, crushing her breasts against his bare chest and sucking on her mouth with the force of a vacuum. Jen fumbled blindly at his pants until she had them undone. She slipped her hand in and grasped onto the stiff evidence of his desire. He moaned at her touch and pulled his tongue out of her mouth. Jen stared up into his handsome face, gripping him with more confidence and pumping.
She worked her tongue and teeth down Dave’s chest and over his flat stomach, lowering to her knees. Yanking his jeans down with one hand, she cupped the other around his balls, drawing another deep moan. Her teasing tongue glided along the length of his erection before she opened wide and slid him into her mouth. She remembered everything David had taught her as she focused entirely on Dave’s needs, rocking her head at a steady rhythm.
Dave’s cat-like growl became a steady purr. With one hand on her head, he pulled at her hair, his grip becoming tighter and more painful. She grunted a complaint, but he didn’t seem to notice. His other hand came to the back of her hair, clenching the roots and jerking her head back and forth. She reached for one of his hands and pulled it away, yanking out a few stinging hairs in the process.
Dave clenched her hand tightly in his and shouted, “Oh, oh, oh!” He thrust himself all the way into her, touching the back of her throat. Jen felt a warm shot in her mouth and fought her gag reflex as she swallowed. He released her hand, and she released his dick. Kneeling on the floor, she ran her hands through her hair, rubbing her smarting scalp.
“That was superb,” Dave said. “Damn, Gigi, I never would’ve guessed you’re a frickin’ professional. Do I gotta pay you for that?”
Jen wanted to be flattered, but…was he calling her a hooker? She was too stunned to give any response and stayed on the floor, drawing her hands over her naked chest, suddenly feeling exposed.
Dave tossed Jen her shirt and bra. “Instead of Gigi, I’m going to have to start calling you Digi—Dirty Girl.”
Jen didn’t want to be Digi. She liked being Gigi. As she absently got dressed, Dave pulled on his briefs, kicked his jeans to a corner, and fell onto his bed. “I’m beat, Digi, and I’ve got to get up early tomorrow, so…”
“You want to go to sleep?”
“Yeah.” He stretched a long leg diagonally across the twin mattress. “Sorry this bed’s too small for two people. But you probably want to get back to your place, anyway.”
Jen sat zombie-like, crushed by the abrupt dismissal after what they’d just done together. Where were the tender embraces? The confessions of developing feelings? Hell, at that point, she’d have been grateful for a friendly pat on the head.
“Jason should still be around somewhere. I told him you’d need a ride home. If you hurry, you can probably catch him.”
In a fog, Jen looked around for her coat. Everything felt thick and fuzzy, like it wasn’t really happening. Her shock made it impossible for her to have any proper reaction—such as clawing off Dave’s testicles—so she merely picked up her coat and stumbled out of the room to the dark, creaky staircase. Alone. Had Dave even said goodbye? She couldn’t remember. She fought back the tears that screamed to bust out. She had to keep herself together until she got back to her apartment.
Sticking her head into the living room to see if Jason was there
, she instead saw David studying at a table across the room. Shit! She hadn’t thought about him being Dave’s housemate. Of course he was there. Before she could duck her head back into the hallway, David looked up. Jen plastered on a big, fake smile. “Hi. Is Jason around?”
“He just left.”
Shit, shit, shit! “Oh, okay.” Desperation slammed down on her. It was with tremendous effort that she kept the false smile on her face while she zipped her coat and prepared for a cold walk home. With each button, the prospect of the dark, lonely night became more appealing. It so perfectly matched her mood. “Well, good night.” She turned toward the door, hoping David hadn’t heard the tremble in her voice.
“Hold up,” he called. “Let me grab my coat.”
“No!” She was desperate for solitude. She whipped around and noticed Ellie sleeping on the couch with a science text lying open on her chest. “I’ll be fine,” Jen whispered. “My apartment’s not that far.”
“Don’t be stupid. I’m walking you home.” He came over and wrapped a scarf around Jen’s head, glancing sideways at Ellie. “She won’t even notice I’m gone.”
Jen was too fragile to argue. As they walked through the frigid night, Jen was grateful for the scarf, not only because it kept her head warm, but because it also kept David from seeing the misery etched onto her face. She burrowed her head deeper into the scarf while David pulled up the collar on his wool coat.
“I gotta get a car,” he complained.
The cold weather kept conversation to a minimum, so Jen was able to torture herself by replaying the last hour in her mind. She wasn’t Gigi anymore. But wasn’t that what Dave wanted? Hadn’t he been pushing her to be bad? So why when she gave in did he suddenly want nothing to do with her? She wondered if there was something else that’d changed his mind about her. “David?”
“Yeah,” his muffled voice answered.
“Have you ever said anything to Dave about you and me…last year?”
“No.” He sounded offended. “That’s nobody else’s business.”
“Okay.” She believed him, which led her to a worse theory. A sick feeling of dread crept in on her. Dave had used her. He’d wanted to get the good girl to do something naughty and he’d succeeded. Now he had no more use for her. Unless it was the drugs or whatever that had made him act like such a jerk.
They finally arrived at Jen’s building. She wanted to dash to her bed, climb under the covers, and let her tears flow freely. But it was bitterly cold outside, and David still had to make the return trek to his house.
“Come inside to warm up before you head back,” Jen ordered.
They stepped onto the inside landing and stood under the harsh light of a bare bulb. Jen turned her head so David wouldn’t notice the few, silent tears that had escaped, but he reached his cold fingers under her chin and angled her face toward him, wiping away a tear with his icy thumb. “What did I tell you about going out with guys who won’t walk you home after dark?”
“Jason was supposed to drive me,” she explained.
David tilted his head and pursed his lips. He knew she was full of crap. Jen looked into his soft, brown eyes and saw pity there. It was more than she could handle. The dam broke, and Jen’s shoulders shook as she let her tears loose. David directed her head to his shoulder. She pressed her face into his coat and cried and cried and cried while he gently stroked her hair.
Her breathing eventually regained a normal rhythm. For a while, the only sound in the entryway was Jen’s sniffles and the lightbulb’s quiet buzzing. David broke the silence. “Don’t call him.”
Jen pulled her head away from David’s coat. She was caught off guard by the venom in his voice. He looked at her intently, and she wrapped appreciative arms around his waist, pressing the side of her face back against his chest. “You know I don’t call boys.”
“Good rule.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
Even though his wool coat scratched her face, Jen felt like she could’ve stood in David’s protective embrace all night. But she was tired, and he had to get home to Ellie. She thanked him for walking her home, and he ventured back into the cold, stopping with the door halfway opened. He reached into his pocket, and held something out to Jen. She took it, seeing that it was a CD case.
“Enjoy,” he said and disappeared.
She took a better look at the CD once she was inside her apartment. On the case was simply scrawled: For Jen
In her jammies and snug in her warm bed, Jen knew that high or not, there was no excuse for how Dave had treated her. After he sobered, he’d realize that. And if he thought gaining her forgiveness was a matter of a simple apology, he was in for a surprise. She wished she could’ve mustered up an ounce of this indignation back in his bedroom, but when he called the next day, she’d be better prepared.
He didn’t call.
He didn’t call the next day either, or the next.
Chapter 7
After a week and no word from Dave, Jen realized there would be no apology. The scumbag probably didn’t even know he’d done anything wrong. She wondered if he still might call one day, oblivious to Jen’s fury, and tell her to meet him somewhere. Next time she wouldn’t run to him like she always had. If he ever wanted to see her again, he’d have to come to her—on his knees.
As more days went by and she still didn’t hear from him, she became tempted to call him to force the issue. Then she remembered David’s warning to not call him. What would she even say if she did get ahold of him: “Hey, just so you know, if you ever ask me out again I’m going to say no”?
When she reached the two week point of not hearing from Dave, she admitted to herself that she wanted him to call. It wasn’t that far of a stretch to think he might. He certainly seemed to have enjoyed himself last time they were together. She couldn’t help but wonder if her anxiety about his silence was made worse because of how far she’d gone with him. His calling would be a vindication of her actions, proof that she hadn’t been completely used.
The last week in February, Jen crossed paths with Dave on a sidewalk between buildings at the south end of campus. At first she didn’t realize it was him. He was bruised around his eyes and had a large scab on his lip. She was only a few feet away by the time she recognized him. In the half a second before he looked at her, she steeled herself to stay strong under his persuasive powers.
Dave acknowledged her with a half nod and continued walking.
Jen would’ve preferred an actual blow to the gut rather than the simulated version that ripped through her as he moved away. He hadn’t even said hello. She pressed her books into her stomach and stared at the ground in disbelief. Even though she’d had no intention of going out with him again, and even though she’d doubted he had any more interest in her, this confirmation of how little she’d meant to him was demoralizing. She’d only ever been a game to him.
She made it back to her apartment in a blur, not remembering exactly how she got there.
“What’s wrong?” Maria asked as soon as Jen walked through the door.
Jen hadn’t filled her roommate in on recent events with Dave. She hadn’t wanted Maria to know how right she’d been. Now she was beyond caring. “You’re right. Dave’s a dick.” To herself she added, and he also has one, and it spewed in my mouth a couple of weeks ago. She felt like throwing up. Maria’s eyes narrowed, but Jen stopped her before she could say anything. “Look, I really don’t want to hear it. I’m just going to lie down for a while.” She dropped her books on the table, walked into her room, and shut the door.
She lay on her bed and waited for tears to come. They didn’t. But thoughts of all the terrible ways Dave had treated her and all the excuses she’d made for him marched through her brain like a long, torturous parade. She got up to pop in her earbuds and scrolled through her music, selecting the most un-Dave-like selection she could find. Cranking up the volume, she fell back onto the bed. Despite the peppy tunes assaulting her ears, numbness settled in a
s she lay on her side, staring at the worn fibers of her beige carpeting.
Two hours later, Jen was in the same position on her bed. She’d clicked off the Pitch Perfect soundtrack before it had even finished its first play through. It was far too energetic for her current mood. She’d fallen asleep for a while, and when she woke, she simply lay there with no desire to get up. For the past few months, her mind had played a constant reel of Dave—would he call; what would she say to him; when would she see him again; what would she wear when she saw him? Now that she knew there was no Dave to anticipate, she saw absolutely no point in even lifting her hand to wipe away the glob of drool that slowly worked its way across her chin.
She sighed and rolled onto her back, staring at the nothingness between her eyeballs and the ceiling, sinking herself deeper into depression by recalling the excitement and possibility she’d felt the first night she’d met him. Her bedroom door flew open, and Maria, Kate, and Chris stormed in. Chris carried a wad of clothing in her arms and dropped it onto Jen’s floor.
“We’re going out,” Maria announced. “Chris just brought over the IDs.”
Jen groaned and threw her arm over her eyes. “Go without me.”
“Nope.” Maria pulled Jen’s arms so that she was forced to sit up.
Kate kneeled on the floor in front of Jen. “Come on, Jenny. We need this.” Her big, blue eyes carried a sadness of their own. The previous week, Jake had told her he’d been accepted into a sixteen-week law program in London. As if being separated by an ocean for four months wasn’t bad enough, he’d also hinted it might be a good idea for them to “take a break” and see other people while he was away.
Jen wiped the drool from her chin. “Don’t call me Jenny.” She started sinking back onto the bed. “I don’t want to run into Dave.”