by Nicki Night
“I want you to meet her.”
“Let’s make that happen.”
Over their breakfast of an egg-white omelet filled with veggies for his mother, and pancakes, bacon and eggs for him, he brought her up to speed on the latest with Jade.
“Sounds like she might be ‘the one.’” Gloria curled her fingers into air quotes.
“I can see that.” Nixon nodded in agreement. “Maybe. Just maybe.”
“Wow!” Gloria reared back. “You can? Are you telling me you just might be ready for marriage—for real this time?”
Nixon grinned and shook his head, yet he couldn’t deny that it was true. They enjoyed their meal and left to handle business. Finishing up in time for lunch, Nixon dropped his mom home and headed back toward Long Island. Once he hit the Long Island Expressway, he dialed Jade’s cell number.
“Hey.” She sounded out of breath.
“Hey yourself! Were you running or something?”
“Running myself ragged playing firefighter. I’m just missing a hose, pumper truck and a uniform.”
“Crazy day, huh?”
“Crazy doesn’t even begin to describe my day.”
“Have you eaten?”
Jade didn’t answer right away.
“You can’t keep running on all four cylinders without fuel.”
“I know. I’ll grab something soon. I promise. But thanks for your concern. It makes me think you really like me,” she joked.
“I kind of do like you—a lot. A whole lot! You need a real break instead of shoving lunch down your throat at your desk while you put out fires.”
“I know, but there’s so much to do.”
Nixon decided right then that he would drive straight to her office and surprise her with an impromptu lunch date. “And you’re about to tell me you have to go so you can jump into the next fire.”
“Sorry?”
“No apologies necessary. Talk to me for a while, let me be your break.”
“Sounds like you’re in the car. Coming from a meeting?”
“Yes. Are you going to let me be your break?”
Jade huffed. “Yes. I really do need one.”
“Good. No talking about work.”
Nixon kept her on the phone for the next twenty minutes, getting off only to stop at a florist and pick up a bouquet of roses to show up with at her job. He promised to call her back in a few minutes.
“Hey,” she said, when she picked up the phone this time.
“Has the building burned down yet?”
“No, silly, but I’m glad you called. I have to admit it did calm me a little. Things have been so busy we haven’t talked about work lately.”
“Work is the last thing I want to spend time talking about when I’m with you. Especially on weeks like this.”
“I know. I miss you. Can’t wait until Friday.”
Nixon glanced at his watch as if it told the passing of days instead of time in minutes and hours. “You mean I’m not going to see you until Friday?”
“I’m afraid not. I have several evening commitments this week.”
“Then you really leave me with no choice.”
“No choice for what?” Jade asked.
“I’ll call you right back.” He ended the call abruptly.
Nixon pulled up to the security booth at her building complex, gave his name and showed his ID. The guard let him pass. When he saw a man walking through the parking lot, he hurried into a spot and caught up with him by the time he reached the door since he didn’t have a security pass. Nixon laid the dozen red roses aside while he signed in to the building at the front desk and then headed toward the foundation’s offices.
Inside, he stepped carefully, listening for Jade’s voice, which he heard talking about vendor contracts. A few people looked up at him carrying the beautiful bouquet and he put his fingers to his lips. They watched in smiling awe, waiting for the person the flowers were intended for to notice. Nixon continued toward her voice. Her office door was open. Nixon heard her and another voice that sounded interestingly familiar. He couldn’t quite place it. He continued on through the office and tapped on her door, hiding behind the bouquet.
“I’m here with a special request to take the lovely Ms. Chandler out to a much-needed lunch.”
Grinning, Nixon lowered the flowers to see the surprised look on his sweetheart’s face. What he saw wiped his grin away. Jade’s smile fell right after his and her expression registered confusion.
Alyssa stared at him in awe. “Nixon?”
“Alyssa?”
Jade’s brows scrunched. “You two know each other?”
“Nixon was my fiancé.”
Chapter 23
Jade stood frozen while the scene she’d just witnessed played in her head. Alyssa and Nixon. This couldn’t be possible. This isn’t happening. She blinked. Jade blinked again. Alyssa and Nixon were still standing in her office. The air was thick with awestruck tension.
“Nick, what are you doing here?”
Did Alyssa, her best friend from college that she was so elated to reconnect with, the one she’d hired to work for her, just call her boyfriend a nickname? The man she’d developed such strong feelings for was that same friend’s former fiancé? Nick? Nixon?
The fact that Alyssa had called him something other than “Nixon” stung. In that simple word, the history they shared became tethered to the reality that stood in front of Jade. She didn’t know whether to stand or sit. She chose to sit, not sure how much more her legs could bear under the weight of all this confusion.
Weren’t there over ten million people in the New York metro area, including the surrounding suburbs? How had this happened? Jade had finally admitted to herself that Nixon was perfect for her. She’d gleefully told her sisters about him. They gave her the license and go-ahead to move forward. He wanted her to meet his mother. She was planning to have him meet her parents.
Slowly, the words that Alyssa and Nixon had been exchanging blossomed from the distance. She had seen their lips moving, but nothing registered.
“...for a few years now,” Jade heard Nixon say. Sound finally registered right in the middle of his sentence.
“Oh, uh, well...” Alyssa cleared her throat. “And you two are dating?” Alyssa looked confused. Her stammering caught Jade’s keen attention. The haze from moments before was now completely gone. She watched as Alyssa continued to speak. “Since when?”
Jade noticed Alyssa wince.
Somehow, Nixon was standing behind Jade, with his hand on the back of her shoulder. Jade didn’t remember seeing him walk to her. Nixon handed her the flowers, leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She felt like she’d kissed her boyfriend in front of her father.
“We’ve been seeing each other for a while now. It’s gotten pretty serious,” he answered.
Alyssa’s eyes narrowed. Jade looked at her and her friend’s face softened.
“Oh. Well. I guess that’s nice.” Alyssa’s eyes were back on Nixon’s.
This was too much. Jade blinked and shook her head one more time.
“I hope things are good with you, Alyssa.” Nixon’s words were kind. Genuine.
“Oh yes. Of course. Pfft.” She waved her hand. “Things are great. I’m working here...with Jade now...as the program director. So far it’s been amazing. How often do people get to work with their best friends? Yeah...things are great.”
Jade looked from Alyssa to Nixon. It felt like she was in the middle of an emotional tug-of-war. Both of them seemed to be marking their territory.
Jade stood so abruptly she arrested the attention of both of them. “Alyssa, will you excuse us, please?”
At first, Alyssa just stared, as if she wasn’t sure what Jade had said. Then she looked at Nixon—or Nick, as she would have said—and her eyes agai
n narrowed ever so slightly.
After a while, she said, “Sure. I’ll be in my office.” And she turned on her heels and left.
Jade walked over and closed her office door. Folding her arms across her chest, she paced. What was she supposed to do? To whom did she owe loyalty?
“Jade.”
She continued pacing.
“Jade!” Nixon’s voice was sharp.
Jade stopped pacing and looked at him. “I...”
“Let’s go to lunch. We’ll make it quick.”
Jade let her hands fall against her hips with a slap. She was still torn, but obliged. Grabbing her coat and purse, she headed through the office with Nixon holding her hand. She felt as if all eyes were on her as they exited. In her head, she heard their whispers. That talk had already begun. Jade never wanted to be the center of gossip.
Nixon took Jade to a local bistro. For the first twenty minutes or so, few words passed between them. The clanging of forks and knives against plates and the rumble of nearby voices were the only sounds for a while.
“What are you feeling?” he finally asked.
“Awkward. Torn.” Jade stirred her spoon around in her soup, but didn’t eat. Her salad was untouched, as well.
“Eat.”
Jade sighed. “Who would have ever thought?”
“Yeah. Small world.”
“You know the unwritten rule.”
Nixon put his hand up. “What I do know is what we have now. Neither of our pasts should affect that.”
Jade’s shoulders deflated. Nixon was right. She still felt torn, but he was still right. They’d built something wonderful over the past few months. They craved each other. Enjoyed each other’s company. Adored one another’s intellect. The only thing that kept them apart was their busy work schedules. If too many days of work stood in the way, they’d sleep over at each other’s house and go to work from there. It didn’t matter if half a night of sweet lovemaking gave them delicious sex-hangovers the next day. Was she supposed to give that up? It wasn’t like she knew he’d dated Alyssa before. They had lost touch—for years! Jade didn’t steal Nixon from Alyssa. She’d never do such a thing.
“Jade.”
“Huh?” She’d done it again—gotten so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t heard him calling her name.
“I know this must be really weird, but what we have is ours. We built this. This is our connection. We don’t owe anyone anything.”
“I know.”
They finished their meal mostly in silence. At least Nixon finished his. Jade had hers wrapped and took it back with her to the office. She was happy to have gotten out of the office when she did. The air had become too thick and she needed to breathe. Nixon insisted on walking her back inside, with his hand in hers the same way they’d walked out.
Jade could feel the stares from her staff—including and especially Alyssa’s. Nixon walked her to her office, closed the door behind them and wrapped Jade in his arms. She exhaled and melted into his embrace. She stayed there. Being in his arms had become one of her favorite things.
Nixon lifted her chin and kissed her. “We’re not doing anything wrong. I...” He paused.
Jade wondered what he was going to say. She felt like she knew.
“You need to get back to work. Call me on the way home.” He kissed her one more time.
Nixon kissed her with more than just his lips. Jade felt his soul wrap around her like a blanket. It warmed her. It stirred her own soul. Nixon kissed her as if he had something to say that his words alone couldn’t express. She thought he wasn’t going to let go. She allowed herself to get lost in his kiss. Felt his passion and something else that felt like love. Jade felt weightless in his arms. And then there was a tiny explosion in her core. The blast sent a blaze of heat through her core. She held him tighter. Pulled him closer. Felt him rise against her and had to remind herself of all the people right outside her office door.
Just as she forced herself to remember her current location, Nixon ended the kiss with a few sweet pecks. He caught his breath.
“Come to me tonight.”
Jade nodded, breathed deep and let it out slowly as she watched him walk out her office door and close it behind him. He must have known she needed a moment to gather herself. Before she could fully pull herself together and descend from the cloud that Nixon’s kiss had left her on, there was a tap on her door.
She barely finished saying, “Come in,” when Alyssa stepped in and shut the door.
Chapter 24
Jade hadn’t come to him that night. Somehow he knew she wouldn’t. Nixon wasn’t going to press the issue. He wanted to give Jade the time she needed to sort this out, but not too much. The few days he’d already spent without consistently hearing her voice or responding to a barrage of humorous or sexy texts filled with innuendos already felt like too much time had passed. He didn’t know what to expect at their upcoming weekly session or project meeting. He’d managed two days of simply worded greetings in the morning and late at night.
To settle his mind, Nixon threw himself into his work. And like the previous days, he had this one planned to the minute. Arrive early. Work on team project deliverables during lunch. Work late. Go to the gym. This schedule would give him little time to contemplate how much he’d miss Jade. She’d become such an integral part of his life that gaping craters had formed in her absence. If he didn’t have time to notice them, maybe he wouldn’t feel so empty. What troubled him most was that while he wasn’t able to reach her, Alyssa had full access to Jade during their workday.
Nixon still wondered how they’d missed that connection. He and Jade spoke about every era of their lives from childhood up to the moment they’d met. He’d known how close she was to her cousin Kendall and her sisters, but never once heard her mention Alyssa. Maybe she did, but he didn’t make the connection that it could possibly have been that Alyssa.
Nixon reached for his keys and cell phone and headed to the door. The phone rumbled in his hand. He checked his alerts as he took it off Vibrate. The first notification was from his calendar. It was his father’s birthday. Nixon stood still and inhaled. He blew that breath out and remained unmoving for several more moments. This would change his plans.
Nixon dialed his mother once he entered the parkway.
“How’s my favorite lady?” He hoped that his mood hadn’t seeped into his tone.
“Fine as wine. And how’s my favorite son?”
“Mom. I’m your only son.”
“Hee hee!” Her giggle brought a genuine smile to his face. He needed that. “On your way to work, babe?”
“Yep. You?”
“I’m already here. I’m on the early shift. Permanently.”
“Really?”
“I know. Can you believe that? These days I like getting home earlier. Call it age, but at nine o’clock I’d much rather roll over in my bed than to be rolling on that bumpy highway.”
“You’re getting—”
“Watch it...!” She stretched her words, warning him.
“Finer. I was going to say finer, as in wine.” Nixon laughed.
“You better had.” After her chuckle she asked, “What are you doing later?”
Nixon knew where this was going. “How come you still do this?”
“Because I’m not mad at him. I let that go a long time ago.” Nixon huffed at her answer. “I know your father. I understand him.”
“But he abandoned us, betrayed us.”
“He had his reasons.”
“How can you say that?”
“Sweetheart. You can’t expect more from people than they expect from themselves. I learned that a long time ago, too. Besides, he’s not as bad as you think. He’s just broken. He really does care about you. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”
“I don’t believe that an
d I don’t understand you when it comes to him.”
“Nicky.” Her tone was full of warmth. A lump grew in Nixon’s throat at the sound of his mother’s nickname for him. “I spent years being mad at your father. I blamed him for tearing our family apart until one day I realized that he hadn’t taken anything from me that I needed in my life. I had you. I also realized that his leaving released me from trying to bear the weight of his brokenness. The whole time we were married, I tried to fix him, when I should have moved aside to let him fix himself. At some point he realized the same thing, and that’s when we finally got to a point where we could have a decent conversation and eventually became something akin to being friends. I accepted what we’d become and so did he.”
“So that kept him from being a father?” Nixon’s voice shook. His throat locked. He had to clear it several times before he could speak again.
“What else?” his mother asked calmly.
“What do you mean, what else?”
“What else do you want to say, son? What’s hurting you?”
Nixon’s pride wanted to say that nothing hurt. That he was a grown man—a successful one at that. That he’d gotten to where he was without his father and didn’t need him anyway. Instead of answering, he blinked. His eyes stung. He blinked again. His lips tightened until his teeth were clamped shut. His jaw was set so tight he began to feel the pressure in his temples.
The truth was he had a lot to say. For years he’d kept it all in. The boy in him had things to say. The unruly teenager had things to say and the man who was forced to ride the rough waves into manhood unguided had even more to say. Nixon was afraid if he started he might never stop. In the end what difference would it make? He and his father would never become “something akin to friends.”
How could his mother be so accepting? Nixon almost felt betrayed by her cavalier perspective. Hadn’t he abandoned both of them? Hadn’t he left her to struggle to raise a young black man all by herself?
Where would forgiving his father get him now? He’d tried that before. He’d done things for his father that his father had never done for him as a child. The home his father lived in was owned by Nixon and his mother. What difference would it make? Would it finally get his father to see him? To really see him? To care? To for once act like he was proud of all he’d accomplished, despite not having help from him? To love him?