I remembered him running across the road just before we left. In the chaos I hadn’t noticed what he did.
“You picked up the ashes of a dead leshy? What the hell for?”
“Because I thought we might be able to use them in a goblin spell.” Enthusiasm gleamed in his eyes as he turned back to Kasumi. “But this would be even better. That would work, wouldn’t it? You said you could do it with hair or fingernails, and they’re just dead tissue.”
“But not burnt tissue,” I objected.
Kasumi shook her head regretfully. “I am sorry. It is possible to assume the form of a dead person, but only if their body has not begun to decompose. I’m afraid in this case I would only be able to transform into a pile of ashes.”
“Damn.” Ben looked crestfallen.
“It wouldn’t work anyway,” Garth said. “Imagine Luce if someone she thought was dead turned up alive after two days. ‘Suspicious’ wouldn’t even begin to cover it.”
True. Luce hadn’t lived as long as she had by being trusting. If only she was still on my side. I shuddered to think what new plan of attack she’d be coming up with. I needed a way to remove her from the equation.
“Back to Plan A, then.”
Kasumi nodded and rose from the table. “I will find Davison’s people and see what I can discover about this mysterious sister.”
She gave me one of her little half-bows and left the room.
Garth watched her leave with his usual scowl.
“I don’t trust her,” he grumbled. “She smells wrong.”
I rolled my eyes. Werewolves and their delicate noses. “Maybe she just smells like fox, and you want to chase her.”
“I’m not a dog.” He gave me a flat stare, but I was long past being cowed by Garth.
“I’m heading out to the stables,” I said to Ben. “Want to come?”
That earned me a raised eyebrow. “Why? Are you planning a roll in the hay?”
I grinned. “Tempting, but no. Come out and I’ll show you.”
We went outside, followed by Garth, who mumbled dire warnings about exposing ourselves outside the protection of the house. I ignored him. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny but with enough breeze to cut the heat—a day to lift the spirits and make you glad to be alive. Yes, there were a lot of people trying to kill me, and some of them had magical abilities, but a short walk between buildings wasn’t much of a risk. No one could even sneeze within earshot of the estate without being caught on camera.
Besides which, I needed room for what I had planned.
A row of stalls opened onto the outside of the stables. In days past they would have housed a whole herd of happy horses checking out the view across the fields and the training ring, but now they stood empty. Leandra’s only interest in horses had been in eating them.
The inside of the building had once been divided into more stalls, tack rooms and other essentials, but Leandra had hollowed it out, and now it was a great empty shell, dark and cool.
“See? No hay.” I flicked on the lights, then waved my hand at the vast empty space. The weak bulbs did little to chase away the dimness. It smelled of horse, and hay, and honest sweat and leather, together with the not-altogether-unpleasant aroma of old horse dung.
“You could hold a ball in here,” Ben said, his footsteps echoing as he moved into the centre of the emptiness.
“Or a soccer game,” said Garth, pulling the big sliding door closed behind us with a crash.
“Why so much space?” Ben asked. “What did Leandra use this for?”
“Let me show you. Garth, face the wall.”
He did as he was told, and I pulled off my T-shirt and stepped out of my shorts. Ben’s eyebrows climbed into his hair and disappeared.
“What are you doing?” He threw a mischievous glance at Garth’s broad back. “You want to try it without hay?”
“Life isn’t all about sex, you know.” I peeled off my underwear, feeling a little of the old Kate’s self-consciousness, despite my best attempt at shifter pragmatism. He was a very new partner, after all.
His gaze roamed appreciatively over my body.
“Of course it is. What fool told you that?”
Garth snorted, but didn’t turn around.
I stepped into the middle of the concrete floor to give myself plenty of room, its rough surface cool beneath my bare feet. Then I closed my eyes and gave in to the urge for union that always nagged at the back of my brain. I felt the familiar rush of warmth and elation as the barrier between the two parts of myself dropped away. Dimly I was aware of my body expanding and changing as I revelled in the sweet release of oneness.
When I opened my eyes my vision was different, sharper. I could see every speck of dirt on the floor, every tiny mote of dust that floated in the beams of sunlight from the high windows. Colours were brighter. Garth’s aura blazed orange, outlining him in fire. He’d turned around—hopefully after I’d taken dragon shape.
Ben’s face was a different, bleaker, picture. I bent to bring my massive head closer to his.
“What’s wrong?” My voice echoed in the empty building, deep and powerful. He stepped back as my breath huffed across his face, lifting his hair.
He shook his head. “This is just hard to get used to. Every time I see you like this I remember how much I hate dragons. I couldn’t bear it if you became like one of them.”
He looked away, and some of the pleasure I felt in being in my trueshape leaked away. This was me, just as much as my human form. If he couldn’t even look at me in this form, we had a problem.
“I’m still Kate. I’m not going to change.”
He shrugged, as if to say I already had, which was kind of hard to argue with, considering I was currently the size of a bus and armoured in scales. But inside, where it counted—I was still the same person, wasn’t I?
It was too much to deal with right now. I spread my wings and reared up on my hind legs, enjoying the chance to stretch muscles that rarely got a workout these days. Most dragons had a place like this—a warehouse, a remote clearing, a barn—where they could take trueshape unseen. It felt so good.
And sometimes it had a purpose. I lowered my head to my front leg and nuzzled at it, trying to hook a tooth under the edge of a scale. Humans didn’t know how lucky they were to have hands. Clever little monkeys.
“What are you doing?” Garth asked. His expression was one of childlike wonder; he’d only seen me change a couple of times before. Shame Ben didn’t see my trueshape the way Garth did.
I didn’t reply. Proceedings were at a delicate stage. I tugged with a quick jerk of the head, and succeeded in prying a scale loose. It lay on the floor, catching the light from the windows like a piece of shimmering golden glass. I rested one taloned foot on it.
“What does it look like?” Again my voice boomed, filling the emptiness. Some dirt shook loose from the rafters above and pattered down onto the concrete floor.
“You’re sending a message to someone?” Smart wolf. “Who?”
“Alicia.” This time I remembered to keep my voice down.
Ben frowned. “A death threat? Really?”
Something dark stirred in me at the doubt in his tone. Did he think I was weak? Powerless? Dragon thoughts came more easily in dragon shape, and no dragon liked to be questioned. I drew in a deep breath. It took an effort to remember that this was Ben, and I loved him. His human doubts were only realistic, given my current circumstances.
“Yes. Really. Summon a herald.”
I placed a talon on the glittering scale just so, then leaned my weight on it. It snapped with a distinct crack. Satisfied, I regarded the broken halves. This was a most ancient threat, one that no dragon could misunderstand. I will break you as easily as I broke this scale, and all your mighty armour will be no protection. Once Alicia received this, she would be looking over her shoulder every minute, waiting for my shadow to fall on her. Nothing Luce could say would prod her into action.
Meanwhile,
I would be moving in a different direction entirely.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Is Uncle Ben a dragon too?” Lachie bobbed up out of the pool again, wet curls slicked down against his head, and hurled another question at me. He shook his head and water sprayed across me where I sat on the edge, dangling my feet in the clear blue depths. The rippling water cast dancing reflections on the glass walls of the pool house, long shimmering streamers of light. We were in our own little chlorine-scented world, just the two of us again, at least for an hour or two, and he’d been peppering me with questions the whole time.
I guess he hadn’t seen a lot of me since we moved out here. I’d been busy, and had left him to amuse himself a lot, or spend time with one or other of the men, or Mac. Hard to believe that only a week ago I’d thought him dead, and would have given anything to spend another moment with him. Now I had him back, and already I was taking him for granted.
“No, why?”
Not taking him for granted. Trying to keep him alive.
“I was just wondering. Dad’s a dragon, you’re a dragon, Garth and Mac are wolves … everyone seems to be something special.”
“Not everyone, Monster. Steve and Dave and the other guys are all regular humans, same as you and Ben.”
He trod water, big brown eyes solemn. “I wish I was special. Do you think I might turn into a dragon one day too?”
God forbid. I wouldn’t wish the way I’d done it on anyone. Fortunately it wasn’t likely to start a trend, since it required a dying dragon to transfer their consciousness to their channel stone and make sure their target body swallowed the thing while they still had the strength to form a connection. And then came the whole fighting-for-control-of-the-body part. Fun times. “You don’t have to be a shifter to be special, honey. You are the specialest, most fantasmagorical kid that ever lived as far as I’m concerned.”
He gave me a sceptical look. “But you’re my mum. You’re supposed to think that.”
“Oh, right, so my opinion doesn’t matter, huh?”
“You know what I mean, Mum. It’s different. You can turn into a dragon any time you want, and do all this cool stuff.” I saw a new thought clamour for attention. He was so easy to read. “Don’t dragons like swimming? Is that why you’re not getting in?”
I laughed, and eased my way down into the water, the cold shock of it rising up my body. “No, I’m just a wuss. I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it. I guess … not? Not many creatures swim for pleasure—unless they’re meant to be aquatic, like otters, or dolphins or whatever.”
“Did you know elephants are the only mammals that can’t even swim?” He was like a kitten, chasing every bright shiny new idea that rolled past.
“Where did you hear that? That doesn’t sound right.”
“Don’t know. I read it somewhere, I think.” He tipped his head to one side and frowned. “But maybe I’m getting mixed up. Maybe they’re the only animal that can’t jump.” He eyed me consideringly. “Do you reckon you could heat this whole pool if you breathed fire into it?”
I snorted. The things that went through the mind of a ten-year-old boy. “No idea.”
“Why don’t you try? I’ll get out if you like.”
So thoughtful. “No, that’s fine. I think I’ll just float here and relax for a while.”
I lay on my back, tipping my head right back so the cool water reached its wet fingers into my hair. The ceiling of the pool house was painted a dark blue and strung with fairy lights, giving the effect of looking up at the stars in the night sky. With my ears underwater, Lachie’s splashing made strange muffled noises, like listening to a heartbeat through an ultrasound. I felt shut off from the world, floating in my own little cocoon.
It made me sad that my baby didn’t feel special enough in this strange new world we’d entered. Being his own unique wonderful self should be enough, yet in his own childish way he’d hit on a problem I hadn’t considered before. What would his place be if I did pull off the enormous task before me and become queen of the shifters? He’d be fawned on by people trying to curry favour with me, or perhaps endangered by others plotting against me. He’d never know whether his shifter “friends” were true or not. Most of them would secretly look down on him, since he was merely a human. As if there were anything “mere” about being a human. The old Kate bristled at the thought, though the new one, with access to all Leandra’s memories, knew too well how shifters thought. They were all full of themselves, and dragons were the worst—they even looked down on other shifters. Humans barely rated above animals, as far as they were concerned.
I scudded along with my hands, watching the fake stars swirl above me. And what about Ben? Where did he fit in?
Dragons often took human playmates—but “play” was the all-important word there. How could a dragon queen take a human for a true mate? They didn’t even form lasting partnerships with other dragons.
And yet there’d have to be some kind of partnership, with at least one male dragon, or there’d be no dragon queenlings to fight over my throne one day. God, why was I even thinking about this now? Plenty of time to worry about succession planning later—first I had to win the damn throne.
Ben wouldn’t live forever anyway. I stood up, suddenly too agitated for floating. What if we had kids? Would I have to watch them all die? Would I have to watch Lachie grow old and die, and his children and grandchildren after that, while I stayed the same?
I swallowed abruptly, feeling sick. Water swirled around me as Lachie splashed past, but I hardly noticed. No wonder dragons grew so bitter and selfish. I’d already seen Lachie die once. I didn’t think I could do it again.
“Uncle Ben!” Lachie called, his voice alive with welcome. “Come and have a swim with us!”
I looked up, jolted out of my dark thoughts. Ben stood at the edge of the pool. His feet were bare but he wasn’t dressed for swimming.
“No, thanks, mate. Better to keep this arm out of the water, I think.”
“It might help,” he said, his face serious. “Tanya went in the pool all the time when she had her sore knee. She said it was hydro—hydro-thingy.”
“Hydrotherapy. Yeah, maybe next week. It’s a bit sore today.”
Probably because he was using it too much, in an effort to prove how much better he felt. Another one who was convinced he couldn’t be special enough without being a shifter. He sat on the edge, legs in the water. I swam over and heaved myself out to sit next to him, spraying him with droplets.
“Nice in?” he asked.
“Very refreshing.” Refreshing, my arse. The weight of the world bowed my shoulders. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have a beautiful son and a loving partner right now. Yeah, so life is fleeting. Get over it.
“You sent the herald off?” I asked, in an effort to distract myself.
He nodded. “I also asked him, if I had a message for Jason, whether he’d be able to deliver it.”
“That was good thinking.” Not knowing where Jason was, or what he was doing—because he was undoubtedly doing something that would bite me in the arse the minute I least expected it—only added to my stress levels. And God knows they were high enough. “What did he say?”
“Sadly, no deal. He thought he might be overseas. Says no one’s seen him since New Year’s Eve. Obviously didn’t have a clue.”
“That’s a shame.” I sighed. “I guess that would have been too easy. And nothing’s ever easy lately, right?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He took my wet hand and raised it to his lips. “Some things aren’t too difficult.”
“Like what?”
He still held my hand captive. “Like loving you.”
I drew in a sudden breath, startled out of my glum mood. I squeezed his hand, my heart thumping, as warmth flooded me.
“I love you too.” My voice came out in a whisper, tinged with emotion.
“Good God, woman, don’t cry. It’s meant to be a happy thing.”
“I am happy.” I swiped at my brimming eyes. “And I’m not crying. It’s water from the pool.”
“Right. And I’m a monkey’s uncle.”
“Hey!” Lachie splashed us both. “I heard that! You’re my uncle. Well, sort of. Are you calling me a monkey?”
“I don’t know.” Ben considered him, grinning. “At the moment you’re more of a drowned rat. You need to eat more, mate. You look like a strong wind could blow you away.”
I laughed, and felt a tight knot ease in my chest. After all, no one’s life came with a guarantee. We should all live for the moment; it was all we were sure of. The future would bring whatever it brought, and worrying about it now made no difference. For the moment I was happy.
He leaned in for a kiss. His mouth burned hot against my lips, still cool from my swim. “You know, maybe we should put Lachie to bed early tonight.”
I glanced at the sky beyond the glass walls of the pool house. Only the faintest tinge of pink hinted at the coming of night. “It’s not even dark yet.”
“But he’s had a very tiring day. All that swimming, you know. Come have a shower and I’ll help you wash all those hard-to-get-at places.”
“Such a noble sacrifice!” I shoved him affectionately and clambered to my feet. He certainly knew how to tempt a girl. I still tingled from his kiss. At least he seemed to be over his moodiness about me taking trueshape. His earlier words echoed uncomfortably in my mind. I couldn’t bear it if you became like one of them. Would he be so keen to get me naked if I were covered in scales? I pushed the thought away. We were all stressed. It was no surprise if he was having trouble adjusting.
“Come on, Lachie. It’s nearly dinner time. Time to get out.”
“Ohhh! Five more minutes? Please, Mum?”
“All right.”
I stood there dripping, watching him splashing about. He swam much better than last time I’d seen him in the water, ducking and diving like an otter, all sleek and gleaming brown skin. I guess that happened when you missed a whole chunk of someone’s life. Must have had good swimming teachers at that ritzy boarding school of his.
The Twiceborn Queen (The Proving Book 2) Page 18