by Garth Ono
When someone entered the Zombie Lands to headhunt, it was called being on the Glory Road. Haley's gang would literally drive down a highway between Memphis and some point in the Rockies while killing any zombies they came upon. In the Zombie Lands they could leave the headless bodies where they fell, and take the heads in for $50 bounties. Sometimes more.
Kate wasn't up for joining a group, like a biker gang, and living her life in the Zombie Lands atop a motorcycle. Killing the few zombies that wandered out of the cursed lands was as exciting as she wanted it to get. Besides, she needed a safe place to go home to every night. Haley must've inherited her gypsy ways from her mother's side of the family.
Haley didn't leave a message, so Kate stuffed the phone in her back pocket. She didn't have time for a long call, so would call her back later. First and foremost in her thoughts was scouting out the old sawmill. If the drac was holed up there, she'd find out easily enough. Once she found his hidey-hole, then his head was as good as hers.
Before she left, Kate closed all of the windows and fired up both AC window units. She liked it cold when she slept at night. There was one AC for the kitchen and living room, and one for the bedroom. She closed the bedroom door to ensure it got even cooler.
Mr. Rose was working on the pool when she left. Kate waved as she did a three-point turn, and then drove away. She wondered if she'd ever earn enough to own a home on that street. Those stately old homes were the best.
She passed through downtown, noting the sheriff's squad car was gone. Otherwise, business was booming in downtown Tennyson. Not a parking place to be seen on Main Street. She spotted her friend Morgan through the window of the diner, where she worked as a waitress. Kate had worked nights and weekends as a waitress in that same diner for her last two years in high school, only quitting when she started her zombie slaying business.
Main Street was a state highway, which turned into Old Mill Road west of town. Heading west Kate slowed to 45 MPH about halfway to the river. The old dirt road to the abandoned sawmill was grown over, and she wasn't exactly sure of its location. The signs had all fallen down.
"I haven't been there in ages," she muttered as she spotted the culvert the almost gone side road passed over. Kate stopped to study the overgrown road. It was definitely impassable. "I think the last time I came here was that epic beer party in my sophomore year."
That was the first time she'd gotten drunk. She didn't recall ever being so sick in her life, before or after. And she'd been grounded for three months after word spread about how she took off all of her clothes and danced naked. Yet, it was all worth it since she learned not to get drunk, or at least not that drunk.
"Ah, good times," she said. "Now let's find out if I'm going to have a headhunting party here."
Kate did a u-turn and drove back toward Tennyson a good mile before she pulled off the road. She quickly went around back and started arming for rotters. The machete was strapped to her back, with the bandolier of shotgun shells crossing her body the other way. Pistol on hip, Lupara in hand, Kate locked the Defender and headed into the forest.
She moved slowly, carefully through the woods. It was hunting. Hunting zombies and vampires. Neither vamps nor zombies slept. Ever. They were undead, after all. Vamps were still primarily nocturnal. Something about their transformation made their eyes extremely light sensitive. Kate was more worried about zombie sentries.
She'd never dealt with zombie minions. Most rotters were mindless, rage-filled killing machines. They didn't do a lot of thinking about anything. Her research said vampires gave zombies purpose, gave them focus. Some scientists thought the vampires might even control their thoughts and actions from afar, like they were undead drones.
As she neared the tumbled-down sawmill, Kate heard a rustling. She froze, listening intently. There it was again. And again. She eased forward until she noticed movement.
There they were. Zombies.
"One, two, three…" she whispered, looking left and right. They didn't move much, so it was hard to spot them. "Six total. Wow. They only stand guard when controlled by a drac, so I've found him. Now what?"
Whether they were controlled or not, Kate knew she couldn't fight her way through twenty zombies, much less then kill the vampire and fight her way back out again. The most zombies she'd taken on at once were five. And she ran over three of them right off, which totaled her first car.
"I need help."
Her phone rang.
She'd forgotten to turn it off. Kate saw all six rotters turn toward her. She didn't wait for them to attack. The zombie slayer took off running through the woods. There was crashing all around her. Too late she realized that she'd managed to pass several without them seeing each other.
"I'm surrounded," she gasped. Pausing to ensure the sawed off shotgun was off safety, Kate turned took off in a slightly different direction to hopefully confuse them. And promptly ran into and bounced off of a zombie. "Yikes!"
Shooting from the hip, Kate gave that rotter both barrels. Hit him in the face and chest. She was running before he hit the ground, since she knew he'd get right back up. She didn't want to take the time to pull the machete. Also, taking heads might alert the vamp it was more than a surprised hunter.
Lupara broke open when she fired the second shot. Kate snapped it all of the way open, expelling the spent shells. Digging two more out of the bandolier on the run was harder than she'd thought, but she quickly had the shotgun reloaded. And not a moment too soon.
"Get away from me," she screamed, and blew away the knee of a zombie blocking her way. The undead woman fell, only to start crawling toward Kate. The sound of others closing in didn't allow Kate time to finish her off. "Maybe later."
Kate came out of the woods a good two hundred yards from her truck. She ran for all she was worth. When she reached the Defender, huffing and puffing, she glanced back to find seven chasing her. So she tossed the shotgun in the front passenger seat, and took off.
"Well, that was lovely," she said, slowly regaining her breath. Her phone rang again. She growled and dug it out of her back pocket. The screen showed who was calling her. Kate answered. "Your timing sucks, sister."
"I love you, too, Kate," Haley's way too cheerful voice said. "What kind of trouble are you into? I hope it involves at least one naked boy."
"In my dreams," Kate said. "No, you caught me in the middle of a dozen rotters. Don't worry, I managed to escape."
"Sounds like fun. How many heads did you claim?"
"None. I was scouting out a drac's den," she said. "You called and alerted his sentries to my presence. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of town."
"Sorry," she said, and then giggled. "Not really."
Kate couldn't help but smile. Haley was such a naughty girl. She was also the most kickass woman ever. Haley liked to brag she killed more zombies by 9 AM than most head hunters did all day, and she did it in five inch heels. Yeah, she was crazy, but a fun kind of crazy. In fact, her entire motorcycle club was full of the same kind of “live like today is your last day on earth” kind of fun.
"You're such a lovely girl," Kate said.
"Can the British crap. You were born here in Memphis, just like me," Haley said. "We're back from another Glory Road run. You want to come down to Memphis for a couple days?"
"Was it a good run?"
"The worst. We took a lot of heads, but we lost five members," she said, voice dropping. That was the saddest she'd ever heard Haley. "We lost Mongrel like one mile from the bridge over the Mississippi."
Kate took her foot off the gas, and then rolled to a stop on the side of the road, heart thundering. Hot and cold washed through her body, as her mind went numb. Mongrel was dead? Her face heated up, eyes burning. He was her first. They'd hooked up just before he went off with Haley and the others for a run across the Zombie Lands.
"Kate? Are you there?"
"Y-Yes," she whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry. I can't believe he's dead."
"Oh, he's pro
bably not dead. Maybe undead," Haley said. "A vamp got him, so one day he'll be a vampire."
"That's worse!"
Thinking about Mongrel as a vampire was frightening. A seven foot tall outlaw biker vampire had to be the scariest monster possible. Then she remembered Haley had lost four other friends, too.
"Who else did you lose? Not Shea or Vicky I hope."
"Victoria doesn't like to be called 'Vicky' any more than you like 'Kat' or 'Katie,' little sister," she said, but Kate could hear the smile in her voice. It was impossible to keep Haley's spirits down. "Actually, everyone is dead except me, Victoria, and Shea. We've lost all of our friends."
"That's horrible," Kate said. "I want to come down, but I took a big job. I'm afraid it might take me a few days, or longer."
"You gave up zombie slaying?" she said. "Don't go back to waitressing. Stripping pays much better, and you are one hot chick, too. Or you can join us on the Glory Road."
"Um, trying to recruit your sister into stripping is wrong in so many ways," Kate said. "And you know I don't travel well. I like my small town life just fine." She paused, chewed on her lip. "But, um, if you and the girls want to come up here and help me…"
"Oh? So it's a big head hunting job?"
"Yes. A vampire and about twenty rotters. No one up here will help me," she said. "We could split it four ways."
"Hold on a sec."
Kate could hear muffled voices. Haley never muted her phone. At most she'd put a hand over it, which didn't do much good. Yet, she couldn't quite make out what they were saying. She did recognize Shea's voice, while the other was too far away, but was surely Victoria.
Three former strippers and biker chicks were arguing over whether or not to come up and help her. Kate really wanted their help. All three were veteran head hunters, and totally kickass women. Yet, small town Tennyson was always set aflutter when those wild women rolled into town.
"Kate. Don't do anything stupid, like kill off the rotters," Haley said. "We'll come up in the morning, and together we'll trash some zombies and kill a vampire. Let the good times roll!"
"Awesome! Love you, bye," Kate said, ending the call. She sighed happily, and then frowned. "Sheriff Coleman's not going to be happy."
Chapter 5
Kate returned home, parking the old Defender in the garage. Once the roll up door was down, and Mr. Rose couldn't see, she removed her weapons and took them upstairs.
First thing, she cleaned, sharpened, and oiled the Schrader kukri machete. Then she disassembled her pistol and cleaned it, while the metal parts of the shotgun soaked in cleaning solution. Kate had a cleaning routine. All weapons were cleaned nightly, whether she used them or not.
Once every weapon was clean, she took a long, hot shower. Next, she washed her waist-length hair, which took longer than the shower. Most days she braided her hair, which helped to keep most of the nastiness of her job out. Still, she washed it every day she killed a zombie. Since she didn't plan to go back out, she pulled it back into a ponytail.
"Time for some rest and relaxation."
Kate slipped into a tiny red bikini, a pair of black stiletto pumps, and picked up her pool bag. She kept a clean beach towel, a bath towel, and all of her mosquito sprays and suntan lotions in the nylon gym bag.
She put on a pair of sunglasses before heading for the pool. The last thing she wanted was for Mr. Rose to see her watching him watching her. After all, she enjoyed working on her tan almost as much as he enjoyed it. It was a small price to pay to stay on his good side.
The young beauty spent the better part of two hours at the pool. The late afternoon sun felt amazing on her skin. The water was cool and refreshing. She even swam some laps, though she usually worked out first thing in the mornings.
Dinner was a salad while she searched online for any and all information about the old sawmill. There wasn't much, since it closed down way back in the 1960s. She worked both her laptop and smartphone at the same time.
"Awesome. Blue prints," she said.
She sent those to the wireless printer from the laptop. Soon afterwards, she found some photos on a local historical site. Kate started to put together the layout of the sawmill.
"Now where would Mr. Drac spend his days?" she muttered, looking at the blue prints.
Technically, they weren't really blue prints. Kate thought of them as blue prints, but what she had was a black and write "drawing" of the sawmill's layout just before it closed. It showed offices and store rooms and machine rooms. She could tell there were portions of the mill missing from her visit three years back. It had surely deteriorated even more since.
She marked a couple places to check, and then studied the pictures she'd found online and used them to refresh her memory. The more she studied, the more confident she felt that she'd be able to take down the drac with Haley, Shea, and Victoria.
"I can so use four thousand dollars," she said, daydreaming of nicer furniture and a really nice pair of heels. Did she dare dream of Christian Louboutin shoes? "Well, maybe something from the mall."
Actually, having the money to go into the big city of St Louis and visit a mall would be a reward all by itself. She might have a couple boxes full of Got Zombies? t-shirts and tanks, but the rest of her wardrobe needed some serious retail therapy. Of course, if she took the drac out by herself, she would have a lot more cash to play with, maybe even enough to spend $600 on a pair of designer shoes.
After watching Ghost Busters on cable, she started getting ready for bed.
"Maybe I should change my company name to Zombie Busters," Kate said as she brushed her teeth. "Who you gonna call? Zombie Busters!" She grinned. "Has a nice ring."
As if on cue, her phone rang.
Kate quickly rinsed her mouth out. She answered half out of breath, since the phone was still on the dining table.
"Got Zombies? Kate Brokenshire speaking," she said. "How may I help you?"
"Kate! Help! Help me! My house is surrounded by zombies! My cat is still outside!"
That last statement made her pause. Strange how so many who called seemed primarily concerned for their outside pets.
"Who is this?"
"Nicole Gilbert, out on the Old Mill Road."
Kate knew who and where she was. She was the mayor of Tennyson. She lived in a very nice home pretty close to the long abandoned sawmill. The zombies probably belonged to Alexander Cray's horde.
"Call 911. I'm on my way," she said, and ended the call.
She hated cutting off someone like that, in those circumstances. But if she didn't end the call, Mayor Gilbert would keep her from getting ready and heading over. The 911 operator could handle her much better. But she had to hurry, since the sheriff and his deputies would soon be there. She didn't get paid for the zombies the cops killed.
The Gilbert house was just a few miles from the abandoned sawmill. It occurred to Kate that if the vamp was there, and she took him down, then all the bounty money would be hers. No sharing required. Haley and the girls would be pissed, but they'd get over it after Kate took them out partying at Wild Willie's, or better yet, at a club in St Louis.
After tossing all her weapons and gear in back of the Defender, Kate opened the garage door and tore out of there. She left the garage open. In Tennyson, many never bothered to close their garages. Mr. Rose didn't like it, but she'd be back before he woke up the next morning.
Racing through the empty downtown, and past the dark sheriff's office, she grinned. Kate would reach the Gilbert place first, so might even have a few heads before the cops arrived. The sky was cloudy, so the road was eerily dark. Not the best circumstance for slaying zombies.
She pulled into the Gilbert's drive, headlights on bright. Kate counted three zombies pounding on doors and shuttered windows right off. Leaving the lights on, she rushed around back and quickly armed herself. Zombies started toward her. There were five in sight by the time she was ready.
"Hey, zombie, zombie, zombie!" she cried.
Lu
para was on a sling around her neck. That held the shotgun a little higher than she liked, but at least she wouldn't lose it during the fight. It would be hard to find in the dark.
"Come play with me, little zombies fiends," she called, while taking aim at the closest rotter, a topless twenty-something woman. The sight of her ravaged chest sickened Kate. She shot her in the belly, spilling her guts as she fell back to the ground. "Stay down!"
Kate rushed up and took off her head with the machete. Turning, she swung a horizontal stroke with all of her might and decapitated another rotter. He was an elderly man, who kind of looked like one of her grade school teachers.
"Mr. Phelps?"
Shaking that thought away, she stepped into the trio of rotters bearing down on her. Kate quickly slipped her hands through the lanyard on the machete's cushioned handgrip, released it to dangle, and slipped her finger through Lupara's trigger guard.
"Eat lead," she muttered before shooting one of them in the face.
Kicking the rotter to her right in the chest, and sending him tumbling to the side, Kate took up the machete again and chopped off the left arm of the third zombie. He wailed angrily, but was otherwise unfazed by his injury. So she spun, bringing her foot down brutally against the side of his knee. She heard the joint pop, even as she pounded the heel of her left hand into his chest.
The zombie went down.
Before she could finish him off, the other one came charging back. Three more were heading towards her, too. She could hear the first sirens off in the distance.
"How many are there?"
Wielding the machete with both hands, she chopped off the one-armed zombie's head. Ducking under the other's reaching hands, she whacked him in the back of the neck as she broke away. It wasn't enough to severe the spinal column, so he turned on her with eyes of rage.